20th. The plaintive language of the prophet many times occurred, "I will bewail with the weeping of Jazer, the vine of Sibmah: I will water thee with my tears, O Heshbon and Elealeh."

child to the most experienced minister, to gerous disease, occasioned the preceding reunite in a language formerly uttered, "And marks. who is sufficient for these things?" In the afternoon meeting, neither sun, moon, nor stars were discernible; nevertheless, just before the close, a cry from the bottom of my soul seemed to ascend to an Almighty helper, who can cause light to arise in the midst of darkness, and "turn the shadow of death into the morning."

Tenth month 11th.-Some merciful preservations from evil have, this week, been measurably experienced; nevertheless, I have been deeply convinced of the enmity and malignant propensities of human nature, and of satan transformed into an angel of light, working on them, both in myself and others; whence arise "debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings, tumults;" instead of that "charity which suffereth long, and is kind;"" rejoiceth not in iniquity, but in the truth; beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

21st. Having reproved a beloved friend with asperity for a supposed error, I suffered compunction.

22nd. Three short testimonies were deliv. ered in the week-day meeting. I was oppres sed under a sense of iniquity. "A wounded spirit who can bear," was the language of one formerly. I sat bitterly bewailing my manifold deviations from the path of peace. There is a woe to them by whom offences come; but when they have been administered, it is certainly a duty incumbent to acknowledge them, and to seek with solicitude for a real reconciliation with those, whom we may suppose have been offended. In this respect I have been pretty uniformly careful, and by 15th. As I was going to the week-day an acknowledgment of my petulance in the meeting, a thought passed my mind concerning conference of yesterday, to the friend cona state of trembling, which I esteemed to be cerned, I was measurably relieved. "In the only casual; but after having sat some little world, said our blessed Lord, ye shall have time in the meeting, the matter was unexpect- trouble." The Son of Man came not to send edly renewed in my remembrance, with such peace on earth, but rather a sword in the strength and enlargement, that, comparatively, hearts and houses of those who are seeking my "brook became a river," with a pointing to follow him in the regeneration, and to fill to those present; but I was fearful of breaking up that whch is behind of the sufferings of in, hastily, upon the solemnity which seemed to attend in silence; lest, instead of increasing, I should scatter; and lest words, instead of enriching, should tend to poverty. But before the close I dropt a few sentences, with a degree of liberty and satisfaction.

16th. The week-day meeting was solid; various openings were attendant, without the least pointing to express them; but rather thankfully to return them into the treasury, from whence I hope they proceeded. For some days past, clouds and sunshine have been alternately attendant. Internally, some short intervals of light and recollection were attendant; the attractions of the Father, in their lowest and weakest administrations, lead to "Christ in us the hope of glory."

18th. The days of darkness will overtake such who possess their souls in peace, and see no sorrow; and, sooner or later, they will be witnesses of this unexceptionable truth, "Man is born unto trouble." When the Lord "cometh up to the people, He will invade them with his troops; the strong shall be as tow, and the maker of it as a spark." One with whom I am peculiarly connected, who has been in the possession of health and affluence, being of late attacked with a danVOL. IX.-No. 10.

Christ. But when he breaketh the yoke of their burthen, and taketh to himself his great power and reigneth, he is experienced to be "the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace;" "whose dominion is from everlasting" to everlasting. "Even so; Come, Lord Jesus;" come quickly. Amen and Amen.

26th. In the forenoon meeting, much matter was presented before the view of my mind, which was measurably profitable to myself, although unmeet at that season for utterance. In the afternoon, near the conclusion, a few words were expressed, concerning our incapacity to watch with Christ one hour, without supernatural assistance.

28th. The Lord, who dwelleth on high, regardeth the prisoners on earth; "He keepeth all their bones, that not one of them is broken." As I walked in the fields, I was enabled to remember the words of his holiness; and some passages of holy Writ were brought before me with a degree of freshness.

31st. After a painful night, internally, I was tossed with tempests; I was in a strait place, encompassed on every side; but, towards noon, some sensations were attendant of that almighty and infinite Power, whose way is in the sea, and "who maketh the

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clouds his chariot:" his word is within, as "treasure hid in the sand," "and his righteousness is revealed from heaven," for the help of the poor, whose soul fainteth within him. "Although thou sayest I shall not see him," yet, O my soul, trust thou in him; for thy judgment is before him; his judgments are unsearchable as the deeps, but his mercy endureth for ever.

"not of works, but of grace," which teacheth to deny all ungodliness. O! may the fruits of the Spirit be daily experienced; "that instead of the thorn, may come up the fir tree, and instead of the briar, the myrtle tree;" "and that the fruits of righteousness may be sown in peace," as a testimony to that " righteous. ness which is of God by faith," even the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, who himself was

Eleventh month 3rd.-This day was passed" meek and lowly in heart;"" who, when he more comfortably than some, though deeply impressed with a sense of my own poverty; having nothing, "neither purse nor scrip." 5th. A day of trouble and treading down, and perplexity in the valley of vision.

was reviled, reviled not again." Being lame, and the weather wet, I was much within, and perused the journal of our deceased friend John Churchman, of North America. I had read it when it was first published; but on a 6th. In the Park evening meeting, I was fresh investigation of the contents, I was imearly impressed with a sense of the great bene-pressed with a savour of some inward expefit resulting from being inwardly gathered to riences therein contained. In page 222, I Shiloh, "the bright and the Morning Star;" find the following passage, very necessary to who beareth witness of himself; "whose be noticed by all who may have any concern witness is true," and abundantly more strong in a public ministry. "In attending the meetthan all the prophetical and miraculous attes-ings as they came in course, I felt a gradual tations of his coming and glory; they, being opening and strength to declare those things proposed to unbelievers, are rejected by them who continue in their unbelief. But the Spirit is an undeniable, soul-satisfying and self-demonstrative evidence, that the Son of God is come, hath suffered for our sins, and is risen again for our justification. And thus, "the less is blessed of the greater," in those who receive him in his spiritual appearance, as the light of the world and life of men. These truths were opened in my mind with clearness and demonstration, without the least appearance of their being intended for others.

10th. I attended both meetings at Horsleydown, which were wholly held in silence. An exercise in spirit, somewhat similar to the patriarch Jacob, in the night season, was experienced; but the dawning of the day seemed wholly withheld.

which before had been sealed up; being now made sensible, that every vision and opening, which the Lord is pleased to manifest to his servants, is not for immediate utterance. But the Lord, who gives judgment, should be carefully waited upon; who only can show, by the manifestation of his light, the time when."

18th.-Walking in the fields, my mind was measurably comfortable and luminous; the desire of my soul was to the Lord, and the remembrance of his name. Afterwards a cloud overspread my horizon; the cause not unknown.

19th. I thought of leaving off my diary, but remembered him, "who, against hope, believ ed in hope." I am at times favoured with some sensations of "the comforts of love," 15th. Early in the morning, I was im- and of "the meekness and gentleness of pressed with terror, having dreamt of being Christ:" but, alas, they are soon suspended. with one who hath for some time been num- The immediate forerunner of the High Priest bered with the dead; as also of sinking my-of our profession, "saw the Spirit descending self in miry places and deep waters; as also from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon of being in danger from a bad foundation and him." He was not only our propitiation, but a rotten superstructure; but likewise, that in example; and as he was, so ought we to be, the time of need, in the hour of distress, in this present world. Nevertheless, as in there appeared a hand, stretched out to help. May the latter part of the dream be fulfilled in spirit. The same Omnipotent arm, which sustained sinking Peter, is not diminished in power. Awake, awake! O, Arm of the Lord! "art not thou it, which cut Rahab and wounded the dragon," who made "a way through. 21st. I went with my wife to visit John the sea, and a path through the mighty Allis; concerning whom, as well as myself, waters?" it may be remarked, our days are declining 17th. This day I have been preserved pret-swiftly as a shadow; we are withering, as ty quiet and comfortable in spirit, and clear grass; great poverty, and distress also, atfrom speaking unprofitably; a great favour, tends within, but not without some lookings

our "flesh there dwelleth no good thing,” I am persuaded those visitations of divine good come from above, and therefore ought not to be despised; but rather received with thanks giving, and a desire after the increase, which is of God.

towards the Source of all good. Some fresh night, walking over London bridge, I was attacks of pain likewise prevail, as mementoes to follow the Lord more fully, at the eleventh hour of the day.

23rd.—After having sat a short time in the forenoon meeting, these words were mentally formed; May good arise for the help of the poor. I thought the waiting to have them more powerfully impressed within might be more profitable to the assembly, than the uttering them by words; but there was no increase of power. I believe deep poverty continued to be the portion of the poor.

comforted with some feeling of the preciousness of Christ; both with respect to his meritorious transactions without, and the internal operations of his power, as "the hope of glory."

17th. We visited my sister Scott, to whom I showed some memoirs respecting what passed between myself and my deceased brother, at our last interview; she allowed their authenticity. A low day, much "in the valley of the shadow of death."

18th. I attended the funeral of my brother, 29th. This week I have been under strong at Ratcliff. When I reached my own apartapprehensions of death; symptoms of acute ments, in Tooley street, I found divers letters disease having been attendant. They now from my friends, which afforded some consoare measurably suspended, thanks to the Pre- lation to my poor, disconsolate spirit. server of men; "unto whom belong the issues from death." May I, for the very short space, the few sands, which yet remain, no longer live unto myself; but die daily, by the power of Christ; "who both died, rose, and revived, that he might be Lord, both of the living and the dead."

21st. In the forenoon meeting, at Hartford, some solemnity attended, with desires for sparing and forbearing mercy; that I might yet praise the Lord in the land of the living, and the assemblies of the people.

23rd. A pretty comfortable day; not with. out some lookings towards the land which is on the other side of Jordan.

Twelfth month 1st.-As I walked in the fields, the following aspirations were formed 25th.-A cold, snowy day, and tempestuwithin me-May I be for ever with the Lord, ous as to weather, but rather peaceable within. and behold his glory. The day was passed | O! that I may yet, as in the latest period of peaceably, and free from condemnation.

8th. The wounds of seventh-day were alleviated but not healed.

10th. By reason of a letter concerning the dangerous illness of my brother John Scott, and his continued solicitude to see me, in great distress and anxiety of spirit, excited by various considerations, I went from Hartford, and the same evening I visited him at his house at Ratcliff. To my great satisfaction, I beheld in him the pride and glory of all flesh abased; and the Saviour, who was clothed in the seamless robe, "whose hands and feet were pierced," and whose head was crowned with thorns, exalted as the only rock in the valley of death. How wonderful are the works of Jehovah; "who maketh the city an heap, the defenced city a ruin," "the palace of strangers to be no city ;" and who causeth "the branch of the terrible to be brought low."

human life, experience the cross of Christ inwardly prevailing, with a sense of his pardoning love for the manifold errors of my past life: his love, indeed, "passeth know. ledge," and is unsearchable as the deep.

27th. In the course of nature, the messenger on the pale horse must be near; perhaps, as on the very threshhold of the door: may I experience death to be abolished, and life and immortality to be brought to light, through the gospel, which is the power of God unto salvation.

31st. In the week-day meeting, I was exercised in mental prayer and meditation; I hope measurably by the Spirit that quickeneth. This being the last day in the year 1783, amidst various interruptions, I have reviewed the works of Jehovah, and his wonders in the deep: towards the close, a very affecting scene was attendant in the visiting my brother John Scott, on his death-bed. "Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost," was the command of our great Master; consistent with which, I esteem it my duty to preserve, and make known to some, the dying expressions of the deceased; as a testimony 16th. In the week-day meeting, at Hors- to the cause of Christianity, and the power leydown, heaviness and darkness were the of Christ; being fully persuaded that "there covering of my spirit; however, some per- is no name given under heaven, or amongst ceptions were attendant, that the Lord seeth men, whereby we must be saved," but the through the thick darkness, and that the name of Jesus Christ: both as he was in clouds cover not from him; they were rather the fulness of time manifested in the flesh, suspended before the meeting closed. At and as he is declared in power to be the

11. After a sleepless night, I was four times over London bridge, distressed in mind; but in the evening, I experienced some access in spirit to the throne of grace, through the Mediator.

Notwithstanding the severity of the distemper, he was favoured with a clear and unimpaired understanding, and the exercise of his spirit seemed to be almost continual for peace and reconciliation with his Maker; His brother mentioning former times, and having a hope, that if it should please the the days of his youth, in which they frequent Lord to spare him, he should become a newly conversed about, and were both clearly man; but in much diffidence he expressed a convinced of, the necessity of inward and fear, lest the old things should again prevail: he also said to the person who attended him, "that he had been too proud." But it is well known, that his behaviour to his inferiors was

as unprofitable, he replied, "Oh! it is not a lieve not precisely contained in Scripture, time to be solicitous about forms! Here is a were impressed on my mind, with some sascene indeed, enough to bring down the gran-vour and application, viz: the Lamb shall be deur of many, if they could see it. I buoyed their leader. myself up with the hope of many days." Recommending him to the great object Christ within, the hope of glory, to whom his mind was measurably turned, his brother seemed to withdraw; on which he clasped his hand, and took a solemn farewell.

10th. This week, various causes of sorHe continued in mutability about two days row have attended; but not without a hope longer, altogether in a calm and rational state." in those mercies which are new every About twelve hours before his decease his morning." speech much faultered; but by some broken expressions it appeared that the religious concern of his mind was continued.

2nd.-A calm day within, and clear from those communications which gender to bond-quently a cry, somewhat similar to what was age. Thanks to the Preserver of men.