Sivut kuvina
PDF
ePub

CHAPTER XII.

FROM THE CONFERENCE OF 1812, TO THAT OF 1814.

BRISTOL.

THE Conference was held in Leeds this year, and Mr. Entwisle was elected President. His mind was graciously affected on the occasion. He loved his brethren, and valued their good opinion next to the favour of God. He could not, therefore, but be gratified with this mark of their confidence and esteem. But the honour conferred upon him had not the effect of lifting him up in his mind, but proved rather an occasion of increased humiliation before God, and a means of spiritual improvement. The responsibilities and arduous duties of this high office precluded the possibility of writing as copiously as usual in his journal; the entries made were necessarily brief; but they are sufficiently indicative of the state of his mind. A few specimens may serve to illustrate his character under the new circumstances in which divine providence had placed him.

"Woodhouse Grove, Sat. July 24.-There is talk of putting me into the chair. Should it be so, O may I be fitted for my work, and assisted in it. May I be preserved from depression and from pride. If depressed, I shall be uncomfortable and unfitted for my work; if proud, I shall fall under the condemnation of the devil. God has given me influence and respectability in the Connexion. O may I improve this talent to his glory, and never seek myself.

[ocr errors]

Mon. July 27.-Our Conference began. Three hundred preachers are present. I am elected President, Dr. Coke, Secretary. O Lord, let not the office fall into contempt through me.

"Tues. 28th.-Hitherto hath God helped me. Business goes on well. Peace is enjoyed may it continue. My brethren seem disposed to give me as little trouble

as possible, and shew me that degree of respect which humbles me before the Lord. What am I, that I should sit among the princes of thy people, O my God! O may my whole heart and life be devoted to thee alone.

66

Sun. Aug. 2.-Preached before the Conference on Phil. ii. 16. The Lord was a present help.

"Mon. Aug. 3.-Admitted in public sixteen preachers, who have been tried and found faithful. Their testimonies were satisfactory. Messrs. Thomas Taylor and Henry Moore gave them some good advice.

66

Tues. 4.-Admitted sixteen more. The Lord was very present. After the public examination, Mr. Benson delivered a charge, and Mr. Averill prayed. A time to be remembered. My hands, and head, and heart are full; but God helps me through all. We have had no bad temper, nor has one individual given me a moment's pain; but all seem to wish to make my office as easy as possible. Mr. Watson was unanimously received into full connexion, and great affection towards him was manifested.

66

Aug. 7.—I am amazed when I consider the great variety of engagements in public and private which have necessarily occupied my time, that I am so well, and so free from fatigue. But the Lord is my helper. There are upwards of three hundred preachers at the Conference; and sometimes it is difficult to keep in perfect good order so many persons. However, it is pleasing to reflect, that we have not, in any one instance, had a bad temper manifested. Great affairs have been discussed at this Conference, of the utmost importance to the Connexion and the country."

To Mrs. Entwisle he writes:-" Aug. 12.-We shall conclude, please God, to morrow evening. Most of the brethren are gone: I suppose, not more than ninety are left, but I must stay till all the minutes are entered, and the journal signed. My soul is humbled before God, at the idea of having my insignificant name registered in a book, in which are the signatures of many worthy brethren and fathers, and that of our venerable founder, Mr. Wesley. May I never disgrace myself or the station I occupy in the church."

Being appointed to labour this year in the Bristol Circuit, with the Rev. Messrs. Thos. Kelk, Richard Treffry,

and Isaac Clayton, Mr. Entwisle took leave of his esteemed friends at Liverpool on Thurs. Aug. 26th, and on Friday night reached his destination at Bristol, where he met with a most kind and cordial reception. The humble and devoted spirit in which he resumed his labours, will best appear from his own words:

"Chew Stoke, Sept. 9.-Here I sit, in a retired room, often occupied by the preachers and Mr. Wesley, for almost half a century. O Lord, what am I, that thou shouldst look on me, employ me, and honour me amongst thy people? I am ashamed before thee, that I am not more holy. God be merciful to me a sinner. I long to know and make known the heights and depths of love divine.

"I am indulged with realizing views of God, deep impressions of his holiness and goodness, and unusual nearness and confidence. I feel myself afresh anointed by the Holy Spirit, and set apart for the work in which I am engaged. I regard myself as the Lord's servant, authorized and employed by him, and therefore warranted and encouraged to expect his presence, his aid, his influence, and his blessing. Glory be to God. From this happy hour, may I go on cheerfully in the work of the Lord, till I hear my great and good master say, 'Well done, enter into the joy of thy Lord.'

[ocr errors]

During the last two years, my father had suffered much from violent attacks of rheumatism, which he attributed to sleeping in damp beds, in the earlier years of his itinerancy. He hoped that the removal from Liverpool to Bristol might mitigate the severity of his rheumatic pain. In this, however, he was disappointed. On the 28th of November he writes:-"A week of very great bodily pain night and day. So violent an attack of rheu matism I have not had before. I find myself more liable than formerly to be indisposed. Hereby I am premonished that I shall not live alway, but shall soon sleep with my fathers. O may I improve time while I have it, and give a good account at last."

"Sat. Jan. 3, 1813.-With the new year I endeavour to begin anew to improve my mind by reading, meditation, &c.—to live to God, and to labour for usefulness in the church and in the world. The variety and multiplicity of my vocations render it impossible that I should

proceed in a regular course of reading and study. However, all my work is connected with religion and the cause of God. May I be diligent and faithful in my master's work.

"Wed. Jan. 6.-I attended the first Quarterly Meeting ever held at Kingswood. I was delighted with the unity and brotherly love of the brethren. My own soul was happy in God.

"Sat. 16th.-This forenoon my mind was deeply impressed with the necessity of giving myself continually unto prayer and the ministry of the word. This was accompanied by an unusual degree of the spirit of prayer, and by an overflowing of love, peace, and joy. Glory be to God. 0 may I improve to the utmost this season of power and love. I am more and more sensible of the importance of personal piety and a close walk with God. My office in the church is honourable. But what will it avail me, if my heart is not right in the sight of God. The Chief Shepherd will soon appear, the reckoning day will come. O may I always have a conscience void of offence. May I have this testimony, that my ways please God; then all shall be well for ever.

66

Feb. 27.—I have heard from Manchester. My poor dear father is very unwell, but now appears to have a work of grace upon his soul. I trust he will be saved at the eleventh hour. Long have I prayed for him, and often have spoken to him about his salvation. He always would hear me speak and unite in prayer, but I never could prevail upon him to converse on the subject of experimental religion. Lately he wrote to me, and, for the first time, expressed to me sorrow on account of sin, and a desire to seek the Lord; and now, blessed be God, his mind appears to be bowing before the Lord. O God, glorify thyself in his eternal salvation. My soul is exceedingly joyful to perceive the beginnings of what is likely, I trust, to terminate in his eternal happiness.

66

March 19.-Attended the Committee Meeting at Kingswood School. Several things have occurred lately of a painful nature. Satan seems to have a peculiar enmity to this seminary. No wonder; for God has raised up several lately to preach the Gospel, who were educated here.

Tues. 23.-Bridport Chapel opened. I preached at

half-past ten in the morning on John xvii. 3; and at six Mich. vi. 8. Mr. Roberts preached The congregations were large and

in the evening on in the afternoon. attentive.

“Thurs. March 25.-Exeter Chapel opened. At halfpast ten I preached; at half-past two, Mr. Kershaw; at six, Mr. Roberts. Immense crowds attended; and the Lord was powerfully present. Again on Sun. 28.—Mr. Roberts preached at half-past ten, and I at half-past two and six. A glorious day.

"Thurs. April 15.-Once more I am permitted to see my natal hour return. On a review of the past year, many, many mercies rise before me, personal, family, temporal and spiritual. I would particularly notice the enlarged sphere of usefulness in the church in which I have been placed; and I thank God, the honours heaped upon me by my brethren and others have been occasions of increased humiliation before Him. I see as much reason for self-abasement as for gratitude. I feel myself an unprofitable servant. God be merciful to me a sinner. Upon the whole I have sufficient evidence that I have made considerable advances in the divine life during the year: my personal religion is more lively, vigorous, and growing. Of late, I seem to have received renewed power from on high to study and preach; so that I think I never preached with so much energy and unction as now. I find the hand of the Lord is with me. O may I never grieve the Holy Spirit. May I stir up the gift of God that is in me, and may my future labours be more pleasing to him and more profitable to the people.

[ocr errors]

May 1.-Much of my time and attention this week has been occupied about public affairs. I thank God my soul prospers. O how amiable and desirable in my esteem is a life of close communion with God, and entire devotion to him. I perceive there is danger of preachers, whose whole business is connected with religion, neglecting their own personal piety. Employed in studying, explaining, and illustrating the Holy Scriptures, there is great danger of substituting for genuine religious feeling the pleasure which we find in our particular calling. O my God, may I be a Christian indeed. May my all be consecrated to thee.

« EdellinenJatka »