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Smug. I'll prevent you, boy; for I'll have my money buried with me.
(Aside. Vizard. Bless me, madam! here's a light coming this way. I must fly immediately. -When shall I see you, madam?
Smug. Sooner than you expect, my dear.
Vizard. Pardon me, dear madam, I would not be seen for the world. I would sooner forfeit
life, my pleasure, than my reputation.
(Exit. Smug. 'Egad, and so would I too. (Exit.
ACT THE FIFTH.
LADY DARLING's House.
Enter LADY DARLING and ANGELICA.
Lady D. Daughter, since you have to deal with a man of so peculiar a temper, you must not think the general arts of love can secure him; you may therefore allow such a courtier some encouragement extraordinary, without reproach to your modesty.
Ang. I am sensible, madam, that a formal nicety makes our modesty sit awkward, and appears rather a chain to enslave, than a bracelet to adorn us; it should show, when unmolested, easy and innocent as a dove, but strong and vigorous as a falcon, when assaulted.
Lady D. I'm afraid, daughter, you mistake Sir Harry's gaiety for dishonour.
Ang. Though modesty, madam, may wink, it must not sleep, when powerful enemies are abroad. I must confess, that, of all men's, I would not see Sir Harry Wildair's faults.
Lady D. You must certainly be mistaken, Angelica; for I'm satisfied Sir Harry's designs are only to court and marry you.
Ang. His pretence, perhaps, was such. Pray, madam, by what means are you made acquainted with his designs ?
Lady D. Means, child! Why, my cousin Vizard, who, I'm sure,
your sincere friend, sent him. He brought me this letter from my cousin. [Gives her the Letter, which she
openso Ang. Ha! Vizard !—then I'm abused in earnestWould Sir Harry, by his instigation, fix a base affront upon me? No, I can't suspect him of so ungenteel a crime - This letter shall trace the truth. [Aside.) My suspicions, madam, are much cleared ; and I hope to satisfy your ladyship in my management, when I next see Sir Harry.
Enter ServANT. Serv. Madam, here's a gentleman below, calls himself Wildair.
Lady D. Conduct him up. [Exit SERVANT.).Daughter, I won't doubt your discretion.
[Exit LADY DARLING: Enter SiR HARRY WILDAIR. Sir H. Oh, the delights of love and burgundy! Madam, I have toasted your ladyship fifteen bumpers successively, and swallowed Cupids like loches to every glass.
Ang. And what then, sir ?
Sir H. Why, then, madam, the wine has got into my head, and the Cupids into my heart; and unless,
by quenching quick my flame, you kindly ease the smart, I'm a lost man, madam.
Ang. Druikenness, Sir Harry, is the worst pretence à gentleman can make for rudeness; for the excuse is as scandalous as the fault. Therefore, pray ; consider who you are so free with, sir ; a woman of condition, that can call half a dozen footmen upon occasion.
Sir H. Nay, madam, if you have a mind to toss me in a blanket, half a dozen chambermaids would do better service. Come, come, madam; though the wine inakes me lisp, yet it has taught me to speak plainer. By all the dust of my ancient progenitors, I must this night rest in your arms. Ang. Nay, then—who waits there?
Sir H. Nay, then, burgundy's the word; slaughter will ensue. Hold-Do you know, scoundrels, that I have been drinking victorious burgundy ? [Draws.
Serrants. We know you're drunk, sir.
Sir H. Then how have you the impudence, rascals, to assault a gentleman with a couple of flasks of courage in his head ?
Servants. We must do as our young mistress commands us.
Sir H. Nay, then, have among ye, dogs! [Throws Money among them ; they scramble and take it up; he pelting them out, shuts the Door, and returns.) Rascals, poltroons !—I have charmed the dragon, and now the fruit's my own.
I have put the whole army to flight; and now I'll take the general prisoner.
(Laying hold on her. Ang. I conjure you, sir, by the sacred name of honour, by your dead father's name, and the fair reputation of your mother's chastity, that you offer not
the least offence. Already you have wronged me past redress.
Sir H. Thou art the most unaccountable creature
Ang. What madness, Sir Harry, what wild dream of loose desire, could prompt you toattempt this baseness !_View me well the brightness of my mind, methinks, should lighten outwards, and let you see your mistake in
my behaviour. Sir H. [Mimicking.) Tal tidum, tidum, tal ti didi didum. A million to one, now, but this girl is just come flush from reading the Rival Queens’Egad, I'll at her in her own cant-Oh, my Statira ! Oh, my angry dear ! turn thine eyes on me-behold thy beau in buskins.
Ang. Behold me, sir; view me with a sober thought, free from those fumes of wine that throw a mist before your sight, and you shall find that every glance from my reproaching eyes is armed with sharp resentment, and with a virtuous pride that looks dishonour dead.
Sir H. This is the first whore in heroics that I have met with. [Aside.] Look ye, madam, as to that slender particular of your virtue, we sha’n’t quarrel about it; you may be as virtuous as any woman in England, if you please. But, pray, madam, be pleased to consider, what is this saine virtue that you make such a mighty noise about--Can your virtue keep you a coach and six ? No, no; your virtuous women walk on foot.--Can your virtue stake for you at picquet ? No. Then what business has a woman with virtue? Come, come, madam, I offered you fifty guineas; there's a hundred The devil !-.virtuous still !Why, it is a hundred, five score, a hundred guineas
Ang. Oh, indignation ! Were I a man, you durst not use me thus. But the mean, poor abuse you throw on me, reflects upon yourself: our sex still
strikes an awe upon the brave, and only cowards dare affront a woman.
Sir H. Affront ! 'Sdeath, madam, a hundred-guineas will set you up a bank at basset; a hundred guis neas will furnish out your closet with china; a hun. dred guineas will give you an air of quality; a hun. dred guineas will buy you a rich cabinet for your billet-doux, or a fine Common Prayer Book for your virtue; a hundred guineas will buy a hundred fine things, and fine things are for fine ladies, and fine ladies are for fine gentlemen, and fine gentlemen are
'Egad, this burgundy makes a man speak like an angel Come, come, madam, take it, and put it to wliat use you please.
Ang. I'll use it as I would the base unworthy giver, thus
[Throws down the Purse, and stumps upon it. Sir H. I have no mind to meddle in state affairs; but these women will make me a parliament-man in spite of my teeth, on purpose to bring in a bill against their extortion. She tramples under foot that deity which all the world adores---Oh, the blooming pride of beautiful eighteen !-Pshaw I'll talk to her no longer; I'll make my market with the old gentlewoman; she knows business better--[Goes to the Door.]-Here, you, friend : pray desire the old lady to walk in--Hark ye, 'egad, madam, I'll tell your mother.
Enter LADY DARLING. Lady D. Well, Sir Harry, and how d’ye like my daughter, pray?
Sir H. Like her, madam! -Hark ye, will you take it?- Why, 'faith, madam-Take the money, I say, , or, 'egad, all's out.
Ang. All shall out-Sir, you are a scandal to the name of gentleman.