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Clinch. jun. Bound, sir! I'm going to the jubilee, sir.
Lady D. Bless me, cousin ! how came you by these clothes ?
Clinch. jun. Clothes ! ha! ha! ha! the rarest jest ! ha! ha! ha! I shall burst, by Jupiter Ammon-I shall burst.
Lady D. What's the matter, cousin ?
Clinch. jun. The matter! ha! ha! Why, an honest porter, ha! ha! ha! has knocked out my brother's brains-ha! ha! ha!
Sir H. A very good jest, i'faith-ha! ha! ha!
Clinch. jun. Ay, sir; but the best jest of all is, he knocked out his brains with a hammer--and so he is as dead as a door-nail ! ha! ha! ha!
Lady D. And do you laugh, wretch?
Clinch. jun. Laugh! ha! ha! ha! let me see e'er a younger brother in England that won’t laugh at such a jest!
Ang. You appeared a very sober, pious gentleman some hours ago.
Clinch. jun. Pshaw! I was a fool then: but now, madam, I'm a wit; I can rake now. part, madam, you might have had me once; but now, madam, if you should fall to eating chalk, or gnawing the sheets, it is none of my fault. Now, madam, I have got an estate, and I must go to the jubilee.
As for your
Enter CLINCHER SENIOR, in a Blanket. Clinch. sen. Must you so, rogue-must ye? You will go to the jubilee, will you?
Clinch. jun. A ghost! a ghost ! send for the Dean and Chapter presently.
Clinch. sen. No, no, sirrah ! I'm an elder brother, rogue.
Clinch. jun. I don't care a farthing for that ; I'm sure you're dead in law,
Clinch. sen. Why so, sirrah-why so?
Clinch. jun. Because, sir, I can get a fellow to swear he knocked out your brains.
Sir H. An odd way of swearing a man out of his life!
Clinch. jun. Smell him, gentlemen, he has a deadly scent about him.
Clinch. sen. Truly the apprehensions of death may have made me savour a little. 0, Lord ! the colonel! The apprehension of him may make the savour worse, I'm afraid.
Clinch. jun. In short, sir, were you a ghost, or brother, or devil, I will go to the jubilee, by Jupiter Ammon.
Colonel S. Go to the jubilee! go to the bear-garden. Get you to your native plough and cart; converse with animals like yourself, sheep and oxen : men are creatures you don't understand.
Enter a SERVANT, who whispers WILDAIR. Sir H. Let them alone, colonel, their folly will be now diverting. Com , gentlemen, we'll dispute this point some other time.-Madam, shall I beg you to entertain the company in the next room for a moment?
[T. LADY DARLING, Lady D. With all my heart—Come, gentlemen.
[Exeunt all but WiLDAIR. Sir H. A lady to inquire for me! Who can this be ?
Enièr LADY LUREWELL. Oh, madam, this favour is beyond my expectation to come uninvited to dance at my wedding. What d'ye gaze at, madam ?
Lady L. A monster-if thou'rt married, thou'rt the mose perjured wretch that e'er avouched deceit.
Sir H. Hey-day! Why, madam, I'm sure I never swore to marry you: I made, indeed, a slight pro
mise, upon condition of your granting me a small fa-
Sir Ħ. The woman's stark staring mad, that's certain.
Lady L. Was it maliciously designed to let me find my misery when past redress ? To let me know you, only to know you false? Had not cursed chance showed me the motto, I had been happy: the first knowledge I had of you was fatal to me—and this second worse.
Sir H. What the devil is all this! Madam, I'm not at leisure for raillery at present, I have weighty affairs upon my hands; the business of pleasure, madam : any other time
[Going. Lady L. Stay, I conjure you stay. Sir H. 'Faith, I can't, my bride expects me; but,
when the honey-moon is over, about a month or two hence, I may do you a small favour. [Exit.
Lady L. Grant me some wild expressions, Hea- . vens, or I shall burst. Woman's weakness, man's falsehood, my own shame, and love's disdain, at once swell up my breast-Words, words, or I shall burst!
Enter COLONEL STANDARD. Colonel S. Stay, madam, you need not shun my sight; for, if you are perfect woman, you have confidence to outface a crime, and bear the charge of guilt without a blush,
Lady L. The charge of guilt! What, making a
fame ; your
fool of you? I've done it, and glory in the act : dissembling to the prejudice of men is virtue; and every look, or sign, or smile, or tear that can deceive, is meritorious.
Colonel S. Very pretty principles, truly. If there be truth in woman, 'tis now in tliee. Come, madam, you know that you're discovered, and, being sensible that
you cannot escape, you would now turn to bay. That ring, madam, proclaims you guilty,
Lady L. O monster, villain, perfidious villain! Has he told you?
Colonel S. I'll tell it you, and loudly too.
Lady L. O, name it not- -Yet speak it out, 'tis so just a punishment for putting faith in man, that I will bear it all. Speak now, what his busy scandal, and your improving malice, both dare utter.
Colonel s. Your talsehood can't be reached by malice nor by satire; your actions are the justest libel on your
words, your looks, your tears, I did believe in spite of common fame. Nay, 'gainst mine own eyes, I still maintained your
truth. I ima. gined Wildair's boasting of your favours to be the pure
result of his own vanity: at last he urged your taking presents of him; as a convincing proof of which, you yesterday from him received that ring, which ring, that I might be sure he gave it, I lent him for that purpose
Ludy L. Ha! you lent it him for that purpose !
Colonel S. Yes, yes, madam, I lent it him for that purpose-No denying it-i know it well, for I have worn it long, and desire it now, madam, to restore it to the just owner.
Lady L. The just owner! Think, sir, think but of what importance 'tis to own it: if you have love and honour in your soul, 'tis then most justly yours; if not, you are a robber, and have stolen it basely.
Colonel S. Ha! your words, like meeting flints, have struck a light, to show me something strange
-you are the
But tell me instantly, is not your real name Manly?
Lady L. Answer me first : did not you receive this ring about twelve years ago ?
Colonel S. I did. Lady L. And were not you about that time entertained two nights at the liouse of Sir Oliver Manly, in Oxfordshire ?
Colonel S. I was ! I was! [Runs to her, and enbraces her. The blest remembrance fires my
soul with transport-I know the restcharning she, and I the happy man.
Lady L. How has blind fortune stumbled on the right? But where have you wandered since ?--'Twas cruel to forsake me.
Colonel S. The particulars of my fortune are too tedious now: but, to discharge myself from the stain of dislionour, I must tell you, that immediately upon my return to the university, my elder brother and I quarrelled: my father, to prevent farther mischief, posts me away to travel: I wrote to you from London, but fear the letter came not to your
hands. Lady L. I never had the least account of you by letter or otherwise.
Colonel S. Three years I lived abroad, and at my return found you were gone out of the kingdom, though none could tell me whither: missing you thus, I went to Flanders, served my king till the peace commenced; then, fortunately going on board at Amsterdam, one ship transported us both to England. At the first sight I loved, though ignorant of the hidden cause-
You may remember, madam, that, talking once of marriage, I told you I was engaged your
dear self I meant. Lady L. Then men are still most generous and brave-and, to reward your truth, an estate of three thousand pounds a year waits your acceptance; and,