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Dur. No, sir, because they could not come that night.
Y. Mir. But, come, šir, we were talking of something else; pray, how does your lovely charge, the fair Oriana ?
Old Mir. Ripe, sir, just ripe; you'll find it better engaging with her than with the Germans, let me tell you. And what would you say, my young Mars, if Í had a Venus for thee too? Come, Bob, your apartment is ready, and pray
my guest too; you shall command the house between ye, and I'll be as merry as the best of you. Excunt,
ACT THE SECOND.
OLD MIRABEL's House,
ORIANA and BISARRE.
Bis. Um !-before that any young, lying, swearing, flattering, rakehelly fellow, should play such tricks with me-0, the devil take all your Cassandras and Cleopatras for me. I warrant now, you'll play the fool when he comes, and say you love him! eh?
Oriana. Most certainly; I can't dissemble, Bisarre; besides, 'tis past that, we're contracted.
Bis. Contracted ! alack-a-day, poor thing !-What, you have changed rings, or broken an old broadpiece between you! I would make a fool of
fellow in France. Well, I must confess, I do love a little coquetting, with all my heart! my business should be to break gold with my lover one hour, and crack my promise'the next; he should find me one day with a prayer book in my hand, and with a play book another. He should have my consent to buy the wedding ring, and the next moment would I ask him his
Oriana. O, my dear ! were there no greater tie upon my heart, than there is upon my conscience, I would soon throw the contract out of doors; but the mischief on't is, I am so fond of being tied, that I'm forced to be just, and the strength of my passion keeps down the inclination of my sex.
Bis. But here's the old gentleman !
Enter OLD MIRABEL.
Old Mir. Where's
wenches :—where's my two little girls? Eh! Have a care,- look to yourselves, 'faith, they're a coming—the travellers are a coming! Well ! which of you two will be my daughter-in-law now? Bisarre, Bisarre, what say you, madcap? Mirabel is a pure, wild fellow.
Bis. I like him the worse.
Old Mir. You lie, hussy, you like him the better, indeed
you do! What say you, my t’other little filbert, eh?
Oriana. I suppose the gentleman will chuse for himself, sir.
Old Mir. Why, that's discreetly said, and so he
Enter MIRABEL and DURETETE; they salute the
Ladies. Bob, harkye, you shall marry one of these girls, sirrah ?
Y. Mir. Sir, I'll marry them both, if you please.
Old Mir. Both ! why, you young dog, d’ye banter me ? —Come, sir, take your choice.-Duretete, you shall have your choice too, but Robin shall chuse first. -Come, sir, begin. Well! which d’ye like?
Y. Mir. Both.
Old Mir. Neither! Don't make me angry now, Bob-pray, don't make me angry.-Lookye, sirrah, if I don't dance at your wedding to-morrow, I shall be very glad to cry at your grave.
Ý. Mir. That's a bull, father.
Old Mir. A bull! Why, how now, ungrateful sir; did I make thee a man, that thou shouldst make me a beast?
Y. Mir. Your pardon, sir; I only meant your expression.
Old Mir. Harkye, Bob, learn better manners to your father before strangers ! I won't be angry this time: But oons, if ever you do't again, you rascal !-remember what I say:
[Exit. Y. Mir. Pshaw! what does the old fellow mean by mewing me up here with a couple of green girls ? Come, Duretete, will you go?
Oriana. I hope, Mr Mirabel, you han't forgotY. Mir. No, no, madam, I hạn't forgot, I have brought you a thousand little Italian curiosities ; l'II assure you, madam, as far as a hundred pistoles would reach, i han't forgot the least circumstance.
Oriana. Sir, you misunderstand me.
do remember, now, you made a vow of chastity before my departure; a vow of chastity, or something like it was it not, madam?
Oriana. O sir, I'm answered at present. [Erit.
Y. Mir. She was coming full mouth upon me with, her contract-'Would I might despatch t'other!
Dur. Mirabel, that lady there, observe her, she's wondrous pretty, 'faith! and seems to have but few words; I like her mainly-speak to her, man, pr’ythee speak to her.
Y, Mir. Madam, here's a gentleman, who des clares
Dur. Madam, don't believe him, I declare nothing -What the devil do you mean, man?
Y. Mir. He says, madam, that you are as beautiful as an angel.
Dur. He tells a damned lie, madam ! I say no such thing—Are you mad, Mirabel ? Why, I shall drop down with shame.
Y. Mir. And so, madam, not doubting but your ladyship may like him as well as he does you, I think it proper to leave you together.
(Going, Duretete holds him. Dur. Hold, hold—Why, Mirabel, friend, sure you won't be so barbarous as to leave me alone! Proythee, speak to her for yourself, as it were ! - Lord, Lord, that a Frenchman should want impudence!
Y. Mir. You look mighty demure, madam.-She's deaf, captain.
Dur. I had much rather have her dumb.
Y. Mir. The gravity of your air, madam, promises some extraordinary fruits from your study, which moves us with curiosity to enquire the subject of your ladyship's contemplation.--Not a word!
Dur. I hope in the Lord she's speechless ! if she be, she's mine this moment. Mirabel, d’ye think a woman's silence can be natural ?
Bis. But the forms which logicians introduce, and
which proceed from simple enumeraticn, are dubitable, and proceed only upon admittance
Y. Mir. Hoyty toyty! what a plague have we here? Plato in petticoats !
Dur. Ay, ay, let her go on, man; she talks in my own mother tongue.
Bis. 'Tis exposed to invalidity, from a contradictory instance; looks only upon common operations, and is infinite in its termination.
Y. Mir. Rare pedantry!
Bis. Then the ideas wherewith the mind is pre-occupate.-0, gentlemen, I hope you'll pardon my cogitation ! I was involved in a profound point of philosophy, but I shall discuss it somewhere else, being satisfied that the subject is not agreeable to your sparks, that profess the vanity of the times. [Exit.
Y. Mir. Go thy way, good wife Bias -Do you hear, Duretete? Dost hear this starched piece of austerity ?
Dur. She's mine, man, she's mine-My own talent to a T.-I'll match her in dialectics,'faith! I was seven years at the university, man, nursed up with Barbaro, Celarunt, Darii, Ferio, Baralipton. Did you ever know, man, that 'twas metaphysics made me an ass? It was, 'faith! Had she talked a word of singing, dancing, plays, fashions, or the like, I had foundered at the first step; but as she is-Mirabel, wish me joy !
Y. Mir. You don't mean marriage, I hope ?
Y. Mir. Bravely resolved, captain! now for thy credit, warm nie this frozen snowball'twill be a conquest above the Alps !
Dur. But will you promise to be always near me? Y. Mir. Upon all occasions, never fear.
Dur. Why, then, you shall see nie, in two moments, make an induction from my love to her hand, from