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ACT THE FOURTH,
Enter Rose and BULLock, meeting.
Rose. Where have you been, you great booby 2 you are always out of the way in the time of preferment. Bul. Preferment! who should prefer me? Rose. I would prefer you! who should prefer a man, but a woman Come, throw away that great club, hold up your head, cock your hat, and look big. Bul. Ah, Ruose, Ruose I fear somebody will look big sooner than folk think of Here has been Cartwheel, your sweetheart; what will become of him: Rose. Lookye, I'm a great woman, and will provide for my relations: I told the captain how finely he played upon the tabor and pipe, so he set him down for drum-major. Bul. Nay, sister, why did not you keep that place for me? you know I have always loved to be a drumming, if it were but on a table, or on a quart pot.
Syl. Had I but a commission in my pocket, I fancy
my breeches would become me as well as any ranting
fellow of them all; for I take a bold step, a rakish toss,
and an impudent air, to be the principal ingredients
in the composition of a captain. What's here? Rose, my nurse's daughter I’ll go and practise. Come, child, kiss me at once. [Kisses her.] And her brother too ! Well, honest Dungfork, do you know the difference between a horse and a cart, and a cart-horse, eh? Bul. I presume that your worship is a captain, by your clothes and your courage. Syl. Suppose I were, would you be contented to list, friend ? Rose. No, no; though your worship be a handsome man, there be others as fine as you. My brother is engaged to Captain Plume, Syl. Plume ! do you know Captain Plume 2 Rose. Yes, I do, and he knows me. He took the ribbands out of his shirt sleeves, and put them into my shoes: see there—I can assure you that I can do any thing with the captain. Bul. That is, in a modest way, sir.—Have a care what you say, Ruose; don't shame your parentage. Rose. Nay, for that matter, i am not so simple as to say that I can do any thing with the captain but what I may do with any body else. Syl. So And pray what do you expect from this captain, child 2 - . Rose. I expect, sir!—I expect—but he ordered me to tell nobody—but suppose he should promise to marry me? Syl. You should have a care, my dear! men will promise any thing beforehand. Rose. I know that; but he promised to marry me afterwards. Bul. Wauns! Ruose, what have you said Syl. Afterwards ! After what 2
Rose. After I had sold my chickens—I hope there's no harm in that,
* What, Mr Wilful! so close with my market woman'
Syl. I'll try if he loves her. [Aside.] Close, sir, ay, and closer yet, sir.—Come, my pretty maid, you and I will withdraw a little. Plume. No, no, friend, I ha’n’t done with her yet. Sy!, Nor have I begun with her; so I have as good a right as you have. Plume. Thou'rt a bloody impudent fellow ! Syl. Sir, I would ...; myself for the service. Plume. Hast thou really a mind to the service Syl. Yes, sir; so let her go. Rose. Pray, gentlemen, don’t be so violent. Plume. Come, leave it to the girl's own choice,— Will you belong to me or to that gentleman? Rose. Let me consider; you're both very handsome. Plume. Now the natural inconstancy of her sex begins to work. Rose. Pray, sir, what will you give me * Bul. Dunna be angry, sir, that my sister should be mercenary, for she's but young. Syl. Give thee, child ! I'll set thee above scandal; you shall have a coach with six before and six behind; an equipage to make vice fashionable, and put virtue out of countenance. Plume. Pho that's easily done: I’ll do more for thee, child; I’ll buy you a furbelow-scarf, and give you a ticket to see a play. Bul. A play ! wauns ! Ruose, take the ticket, and Ket's see the show. Syl. Lookye, captain, if you won’t resign, I’ll go list with Captain Brazen this minute. • Plume. Will you list with me if I give up my title Syl. I will. Plume. Take her; I’ll change a woman for a man at any time. Rose. I have heard before, indeed, that you captains used to sell your men, Bul. Pray, captain, do not send Ruose to the Wes. tern Indies,
Plume. Ha! ha ha West Indies! No, no, my honest lad, give me thy band; nor you or she shall. move a stepfarther then I do. This gentleman is one of us, and will be kind to you, Mrs Rose. Rose. But will you be so kind to me, sir, as the captain would 3 Syl, I can't be altogether so kind to you; my circumstances are not so good as the captain's; but I’ll take care of you, upon my word. Plume. Ay, ay, we'll all take care of her; she shall live like a princess, and her brother here shall be— What would you be 2 Bul. Oh, sir, if you had not promised the place of drum-major * Plume, Ay, that is promised; but what think you of barrack-master; you are a person of understanding, and barrack-master you shall be-But what’s become of this same Cartwheel you told me of my dear? Rose. We'll go fetch him—Come, brother barrackmaster—We shall find you at home, noble captain : [Exeunt Rose and BULLock. Plume. Yes, yes; and now, sir, here are your forty shillings. Syl. Captain Plume, I despise your listing money; if I do serve, ’tis purely for love—of that wench, I mean—Now let me beg you to lay aside your recruiting airs, put on the man of honour, and tell me plainly what usage I must expect when I am under your command 2 Plume. Your usage will chiefly depend upon your behaviour; only this you must expect, that if you commit a small fault I will excuse it; if a great one, I’ll discharge you; for something tells me I shall not be able to punish you. Syl. And something tells me that if you do discharge me 'twill be the greatest punishment you can inflict; for were we this moment to go upon the greatest dangers in your profession, they would be less terrible to me than to stay behind you.—And now, your hand, this lists me—and now you are my captain. Plume. Your friend.—’Sqeath ! there's something in this fellow that charms me. Syl. One favour I must beg—this affair will make some noise, and I have some friends that would censure my conduct, if I threw myself into the circumstance of a private centinel of my own head—I must therefore take care to be impressed by the act of parliament: you shall leave that to me. Plume. What you please as to that—Will you lodge at my quarters in the mean time 2 Syl. No, no, captain ; you forget Rose; she's to be my bedfellow, you know. Plume. I had forgot: pray be kind to her. [Ereunt severally.
Enter MelinDA and Lucy.
Lucy. You are thoughtful, madam; am not I worthy to know the cause Mel. Oh, Lucy I can hold my secret no longer. You must know, that hearing of a famous fortune-teller in town, I went disguised to satisfy a curiosity which has cost me dear. The fellow is certainly the devil, or one of his bosom-favourites: he has told me the most surprising things of my past life. Lucy. Things past, madam, can hardly be reckoned surprising, because we know them already. Did he tell you any thing surprising that was to come. Mel. One thing very surprising; he said, I should die a maid I Lucy. Die a maid come into the world for nothing –Dear madam if you should believe him, it might come to pass; for the bare thought on't might kill one in four-and-twenty-hours—And did you ask him any questions about me.” Mel. You ! why I passed for you,