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Aim. A foreigner! Ar downright teague, by this light. [Aside.) Were you born in France, doctor?
Forg. I was educated in France, but I was borned at Brussels ; I am a subject of the King of Spain, joy.
Gib. What King of Spain, sir? speak.
Aim. Nay, captain, that was too hard upon the doctor ; he's a stranger.
Foig. O, let him alone, dear joy, I am of a nation that is not easily put out of countenance.
Aim. Come, gentlemen, I'll end the dispute
Bon. Upon the table, as the saying, is.
[Exeunt, FOIGARD foremost.
Enter ARCHER and SCRUB, singing, and hugging one
another; SCRUB with a Tankard in his Hand-GIPSEY listening at a Distance.
Scrub. Tal, all, dal-Come, my dear boy, let us have that song once more.
Arch. No, no, we shall disturb the family-But will you be sure to keep the secret?
Scrub. Pho! upon my honour, as I'm a gentleman.
Arch. 'Tis enough You must know then, that my master is the Lord Viscount Aimwell : he fought a duel t'other day in London, wounded his man so dangerously, that he thinks fit to withdraw, till he
hears whether the gentleman's wounds be mortal or not. He never was in this part of England before, so he chose to retire to this place, thats all. Gip. And, that's enough for me.
[Exito Scrub. And where were you, when your master fought
Arch. We never know of our master's quarrels.
Scrub. No! if our masters in the country here receive a challenge, the first thing they do, is to tell their wives; the wife tells the servants, the servants alarm the tenants, and in half an hour, you shall have the whole country up in 'arms. Arch. To hinder two men from doing what they have no mind for.--But, if you should chance to talk now of this business
Scrub. Talk! Ah, sir, had I not learned the knack of holding my tongue, I had never lived so long in great family.
Arch. Ay, ay, to be sure, there are secrets in all families.
Scrub. Secrets, O lud ! -But I'll say no moremo Come, sit down, we'll make an end of our tankard : -Here--
Arche With all my heart; who knows but you and I may come to be better acquainted, eh? ------Here's your ladies' health--You have three, I think, and to be sure there must be secrets among them?
Scrut. Secrets ! ah, friend, friend! I wish I had a friend.
Arch. Am not I your friend ? Come, you and I will be sworn brothers.
Scrub. Shall we?
Arch. From this minute-Give me a kiss -and now, brother Scrúb--
Scrub. And now, brother Martin, I will tell you a secret, that will make your hair stand an end.--You must know, that I am consumedly in love.
Arch. That's a terrible secret, that's the truth on't.
Scrub. That jade, Gipsey, that was with us just now in the cellar, is the arrantest whore that ever wore a petticoat, and I'm dying for love of her.
Arch. Fia! ha! ha!-- are you in love with her person or her virtue, brother Scrub?
Scrub, I should like virtue best, because it is more durable than beauty; for virtue holds good with some women long and many a day after they have lost it.
Arch. In the country, I grant ye, where no woman's virtue is lost, till a bastard be found.
Scrub. Ay, could I bring her to a bastard, I should have her all to myself; but I dare not put it upon that lay, for fear of being sent for a soldier. -Pray, brother, how do you gentlemen in London like that same pressing act ? Arch. Very ill, brother Scrub;
-'Tis the worst that e'er was made for us ;---formerly I remembered the good days when we could dun our masters for our wages, and if they refused to pay us, we could have a warrant to carry them before a justice : but now if we talk of eating, they have a warrant for us, and carry us before three justices.
Scrub. And to be sure we go, if we talk of eating ; for the justices won't give their own servants a bad example. Now this is my misfortune-l dare not speak in the house, while that jade, Gipsey, dings about like a fury once I had the better end of the staff.
Arch. And how comes the change now?
Scrub. Why, the mother of all this mischief is a priest.
Arch. A priest!
Scrub. Ay, a damn'd son of a whore of Babylon, that came over hither to say grace to the French officers, and eat up our provisions-There's not a day goes over his head without a dinner or supper in this house.
Arch. How came he so familiar in the family?
Scrub. Because he speaks english as if he had lived !iure all his life, and tells lies as if he had been a traveller fro.n his cradle.
Ar: · Alu this priest, I'm afraid, has converted the atrection of your Gipsey.
Series, onverted, ay, and perverted, my dear friend-for. ini airaid he has made er a whore, and a papist-bit this is not all; there's the French count and Mrs. Sulloo, they're in the confederacy, and for some private ends of their own too, to be sure.
Arci. A very nopeiul family yours, brother Scrub; I suppose the maiden lady has her lover too?
Scrub. Not that I know-She's the best of them, that's the truth on’t: but they take care to prevent my curiosity, by giving me so much business, that I'm a perfect slave-What d'ye think is my place in this family?
Arch. Butler, I suppose.
Scrub. Ah, lord help you~I'll tell you-Of a Monday I drive the coach, of a Tuesday I drive the plough, on Wednesday I follow the hounds, a Thursday I dun the tenants, on Friday I go to market, on Saturday I draw warrants, and a Sunday I draw beer. Arch. Ha! ha! ha! if variety be a pleasure in
you have enough on't, my dear brother-but what ladies are those ?
Scrub. Ours, ours; that upon the right hand is Mrs. Sullen, and the other Mrs. Dorinda -don't mind them, sit still, man
Enter Mrs. SULLEN and DORINDA.
Mrs. Sul. I have heard my brother talk of Lord Aim well, but they say that his brother is the finer gentleman.
Dor. That's impossible, sister.
Mrs. Sul. Hie's vastly rich, and very close, they say.
Dor. No matter for that; if I can creep into his heart, I'll open his breast, I warrant him : I have heard say, that people may be guessed at by the behaviour of their servants ; I could wish we might talk to that fellow.
Mrs. Sul. So do I; for I think he's a very pretty fellow; come this way,
Ill throw out a lure for him presently.
[They walk towards the opposite Side of the
Stage; MRS. SULLEN drops her Fan, Ar
CHR runs, takes it up, and gives it to her, Arch. Corn, wine, and oil, indeed -but, I think the wife has the greatest plenty of flesh and blood; she should be my choice--Ay, ay, say you som madam-your lady ship's fan.
Mrs. Sul. O, sir, I thank you-What a handsome bow the fellow made !
Dor. Bow! why I have known several footmen come down from London, set up here for dancing masters, and carry off the best fortunes in the country.
Arch. [.4 side.] That project, for aught I know, had been better than ours -Brother Scrub, why don't you introduce me?
Scrub. Ladies, this is the strange gentleman's servant, that you saw at church to-day: I understood he came from London, and so I invited him to the cellar, that he might show me the newest flourish in whetting my knives.
Dor. And I hope you have made much of him.
Arch. Oh, yes, madam, but the strength of your ladyship’s liquor is a little too potent for the constitu. tion of your hunable servant.
Mrs. Sul. What, then you don't usually drink ale?