as Truth. Pr'ythee do thou wear none to Day; but allow Brisk to have Wit, that thou may'st seem a Fool. Care. Why, how now; why this extravagant Propofition? Mel. O, I would have no room for serious Defign, for I am jealous of a Plot. I would have Noife and Impertinence keep my Lady Touchwoods Head from working: For Hell is no more bufy than her Brain, nor contains more Devils, than that Imaginations. Care. I thought your Fear of her had been over-Is not to Morrow appointed for your Marriage with Cynthia ; and her Father, Sir Paul Plant, come to fettle the Writings this Day, on purpose ? Mel. True; but you shall judge whether I have not Reason to be alarm'd. None befides you, and Maskwell, are acquainted with the Secret of my Aunt Touchwood's violent Paffion for me. Since my first Refufal of her Addreffes, fhe has endeavour'd to do me all ill Offices with my Uncle; yet has manag'd 'em with that Subtilty, that to him they have born the Face of Kindness; while her Malice, like a dark Lanthorn, only fhone upon me, where it was directed. Still it gave me less Perplexity te prevent the Success of her Displeasure, than to avoid the Importunities of her Love; and of two Evils, I thought my felf favour'd in her Aversion: But whether urg'd by her Despair, and the fhort Profpect of Time she faw, to accomplish her Defigns; whether the Hopes of Revenge, or of her Love, terminated in the View of this my Marriage with Cynthia, I know not; but this Morning she furpriz'd me in my Bed. Care. Was there ever such a Fury! 'tis well Nature has not put it into her Sex's Power to ravish- -Well, blefs us! proceed. What follow'd? Mel. What at firft amaz'd me; for I look'd to have seen her in all the Transports of a flighted and revengeful Woman: But when I expected Thunder from her Voice, and Lightning in her Eyes; I faw her melted into Tears, and hush'd hush'd into a Sigh. It was long before either of us spoke, Passion had ty'd her Tongue, and Amazement mine.In fhort, the Confequence was thus, the omitted nothing that the most violent Love could urge, or tender Words exprefs; which when the faw had no effect, but still I pleaded Honour and Nearness of Blood to my Uncle; then came the Storm I fear'd at firft: For starting from my Bed-fide like a Fury, she flew to my Sword, and with much ado I prevented her doing me or her felf a Mischief: Having difarm'd her, in a Guft of Passion she left me, and in a Refolution, confirm'd by a thousand Curfes, not to close her Eyes, 'till they had seen my Ruin. Care. Exquifite Woman! But what the Devil does the think, thou hat no more Senfe, than to get an Heir upon her Body to difinherit thy felf: for as I take it this Settlement upon you, is, with a Provifo, that your Uncle have no Children. Mel. It is fo. Well, the Service you are to do me, will be a Pleafure to your felf; I muft get you to engage my Lady Plyant all this Evening, that my pious Aunt may not work her to her Interest. And if you chance to secure her to your felf, you may incline her to mine. She's handsom, and knows it; is very filly, and thinks fhe has Senfe, and has an old fond Husband. Care. I confefs, a very fair Foundation for a Lover to build upon. Mel. For my Lord Froth, he and his Wife will be fufficiently taken up, with admiring one another, and Brisk's Gallantry, as they call it. I'll obferve my Uncle my felf; and Jack Maskwell has promised me, to watch my Aunt narrowly, and give me notice upon any Suspicion. As for Sir Paul, my wife Father in law that is to be, my Dear Cynthia has fuch a share in his Fatherly Fondness, he would scarce make her a Moment uneafy, to have her happy hereafter. Care. So, you have mann'd your Works: but I wish you may not have the weakest Guard, where the Enemy is strongest. Mel. Mel. Maskwell, you mean; pr'ythee why should you fufpect him? Care. Faith I cannot help it, you know I never lik'd him; I am a little fuperftitious in Phyfiognomy. Mel. He has Obligations of Gratitude, to bind him to me; his Dependence upon my Uncle is through my Means. Care. Upon your Aunt, you mean. Mel. My Aunt! Care. I'm mistaken if there be not a Familiarity between them, you do not fufpect: Notwithstanding her Paffion for you. Mel. Pooh, pooh, nothing in the World but his Defign to do me Service; and he endeavours to be well in her Efteem, that he may be able to effect it. Care. Well, I fhall be glad to be mistaken; but, your Aunt's Averfion in her Revenge, cannot be any way fo effe&tually fhewn, as in bringing forth a Child to disinherit you. She is handfom and cunning, and naturally wanton. Maskwell is Flesh and Blood at beft, and Opportunities between them are frequent. His Affection to you, you have confeffed, is grounded upon his Intereft, that you have transplanted; and fhould it take Root in my Lady, I don't see what you can expect from the Fruit. Mel. I confefs the Confequence is visible, were your Sufpicions juft.But fee, the Company is broke up, let's meet 'em. SCENE IV. [To them] Lord Touchwood, Lord Froth, Sir Paul Plyant, and Brisk. Ld. Touch. Out upon't, Nephew-Leave your Fatherin-law, and me to maintain our Ground against young People. Mel. Mel, I beg your Lordship's Pardon-We were just returning. Sir Paul. Were you, Son? Gadsbud much better as it is-Good, ftrange! I fwear I'm almoft tipfy-t'other Bottle would have been too powerful for me,-as fure as can be it would.-We wanted your Company, but Mr. Brisk-Where is he? I fwear and vow, he's a moft facetious Perfon-and the best Company. And my Lord Froth, your Lordship is so merry a Man, he, he, he. Ld. Froth. O foy, Sir Paul, what do you mean? Merry! O barbarous! I'd as lieve you call'd me Fool. Sir Paul. Nay, I proteft and vow now, 'tis true; when Mr. Brisk jokes, your Lordship's Laugh dees fo become you, he, he, he. Ld. Froth. Ridiculous! Sir Paul, you're ftrangely miftaken, I find Champagne is powerful. I affure you, Sir Paul, I laugh at no Body's Jeft but my own, or a Lady's; I affure you, Sir Paul. Brisk. How? how, my Lord? what affront my Wit! Let me perish, do I never say any thing worthy to be laugh'd at? Ld. Froth. O foy, don't misapprehend me, I don't say fo, for I often smile at your Conceptions. But there is nothing more unbecoming a Man of Quality, than to Laugh; 'tis fuch a vulgar Expreffion of the Paffion! every Body can laugh. Then especially to laugh at the Jeft of an inferior Perfon, or when any body else of the fame Quality does not laugh with one; ridiculous! To be pleafed with what pleases the Croud! Now when I laugh, I always laugh alone. Brisk. I suppose that's because you laugh at your own Jefts, l'gad, ha, ha, ha. Ld. Froth. He, he, I fwear tho', your Raillery provokes me to a Smile. Brisk. Ay, my Lord, it's a fign I hit you in the Teeth, if you fhew 'em. Ld. Froth. Ld. Froth. He, he, he, I swear that's fo very pretty, I can't forbear. Care. I find a Quibble bears more sway in your Lordfhip's Face, than a Jeft. Ld. Touch. Sir Paul, if you please we'll retire to the Ladies, and drink a Dish of Tea, to fettle our Heads. Sir Paul. With all my Heart. Mr. Brisk, you'll come to us, or call me when you joke, I'll be ready to laugh incontinently. Mellemont, Careless, Lord Froth, Brisk. Mel. But does your Lordship never fee Comedies? Ld. Froth. Oh, no,-Never laugh indeed, Sir. Ld. Froth. To diftinguish my felf from the Commonalty, and mortify the Poets; The Fellows grow fo conceited, when any of their foolish Wit prevails upon the SideBoxes-Ifwear,he, he, he, I have often constrain'd my inclinations to laugh;-he, he, he, to avoid giving them Encouragement. Mel. You are cruel to your felf, my Lord, as well as malicious to them. Ld. Froth. I confefs I did my felf fome Violence at first, but now, I think I have conquer'd it Brisk. Let me perish, my Lord, but there is fomething very particular in the Humour tis true, it makes against Wit, and I'm forry for fome Friends of mine that write, but I'gad, I love to be malicious-Nay, duce take me there's Wit in't too-And Wit must be foil'd by Wit; cut a Diamond with a Diamond; no other way, I'gad. Ld. Froth. |