1 Item. By all means, sir; I like that, I approve that; act with your eyes open; take no rash step; 'tis what I always say but mine is a thankless office. Like other officious fools, I can give counsel, but no help. I am sorry to tell you, here is the upholsterer below, who is very insolent, and declares, if he be not paid immediately, he will have an execution in the house before night. Mor. Scoundrel!-Could not you put him off for a week? Item. He has been put off too often. Mor. Are there no means by which you might advance me that sum yourself? Item. Oh, that I could! it would make me the happiest man on earth! Mor. Affectionate soul! Item. Riches would now indeed be welcome. Mor. [Sensibility.] Mr Item, you make me as great a fool as yourself. Item. As to the deed, again and again I warn you not to sign it. Mor. Then I will not. Ruin and wretchedness are certain; but the mode of being wretched is in my own choice, and I will not. Item. Yet what the devil I shall say to all your other tradesmen I don't know, they are every man of them as clamorous as the upholsterer. I don't believe one of them will wait two days. Mor. Was ever man so pestered! Item. Here too is a long account, that I have just received from your groom at Newmarket; who says he shall soon want even a wisp of hay. For my part, I have not a guinea in hand! I wish I had! then the impatience of Cheveril! And what the malignant damned world will say of the defalcation of a guardian there is no foreseeing-Sign you must not! Mor. At least I will take an hour or two to think of it. Misfortune, disgrace, and approaching infamy. sit mocking at me, and I shall soon attain the acmé of misery. [Exit. Item. [Sneer.] Ha! ha! ha! You won't sign? Indeed, moody master of mine! Ha, but I will send those about your ears that will presently make you! [Exit. SCENE II. The Street. Enter CHEVERIL. Chev. This is the street. It must be somewhere hereabout. What a fatiguing affair pleasure-hunting is! Oh that I could once more meet my lovely angel, my Green-Park deity! [Examines his Card.] This is the number. Enter LENNOX, from MRS ENFIELD'S Door. Chev. Hey-day, Lennox! Len. Cheveril ? Chev. Coming from-You, who preach refinement of pursuit, and delicacy of enjoyment? Len. Oh, we preach one thing, we practise another. Besides, were you but to see her! Chev. Her!-Who? Len. The girl I told you of the divinest crea ture Chev. What, here? Chev. In this house? Len. Yes; but she shall not remain there half an hour. I am going to prepare every thing. I am determined to secure her. Chev. [Aside.] Honest Grime has given him an introduction too. Len. Hush! [JOANNA throws up the Sash, and appears for a Moment at the Window.] There she is! [Points, Chev. Where? I see nobody. Len. Ah, she's gone again. Chev. Oh, but I'll [Preparing for a run. Len. [Seizing his Arm.] Where are you going? Chev. To leap through the window! Len. No, Cheveril, that must not be. Len. She is mine. Chev. Yours ! Len. I have bought an exclusive right to her: paid a hundred pounds down. Chev. Pooh! Len. I tell you, she is, and shall be, mine. Chev. Well, well, if so Len. [Preventing him.] Come with me! Chev. No, I can't, Len. Why not? Chev. This is my way. Len. Nay, but Chev. Good b'ye! [Going [Exit, running. Len. Zounds, my damned blabbing tongue! [Looking after him. There he flies, the whirligig! Ah! he is out of sight, and all is safe. I must have Mordent's assistance. Where the devil does he loiter? [Looks wistfully at the Window.] I'll soon be back though, for fear of accidents, [Exit. 1 SCENE III. The House of MRS ENFIELD. Enter MRS Enfield. Mrs E. [Calling.] Betty! Betty. [Without.] Ma'am. Mrs E. Who is it that bounced through the backdoor in such haste? Enter BETTY. Betty. I don't know, ma'am: a young-Hem! Enter CHEVERIL. [Exit. Chev. I am here, safe; I have tricked him. Your humble servant, madam. Your name is Mrs E. Mrs Enfield, at your service, sir. Chev. You keep a Mrs E. Magazine! modish magazine, I think? Chev. Of ready-made beauty! Mrs E. Well, sir! Chev. Your acquaintance, honest Mr Grime, informed me you have a sample of a fine sort. Mrs E. Ah, you are too late! Chev. My friend Lennox has paid you one hundred pounds. Don't stare; I know the whole. Bring me to the lady, and, if I like her Mrs E. I am very sorry, sir, but I cannot; my honour won't let me. Chev. Prodigious virtue! Come, come, Lennox is cunning forty. I have eight thousand a-year, and am determined to be a-a-a-wicked dog. So see her I must. This is my proof. [Showing a Bank Bill. Mrs E. As Mr Lennox is your friend, perhaps you have his permission? Chev. Permission! Oh, yes-No! I'll be wicked but not unprincipled; I won't lie! That is a paltry scoundrel vice: no soul in it. Look you, if that sum will not content you, tell me what will? Mrs E. Why, sir, you are such a handsome, charming, pleasant young gentleman, that-if you could spare me another such Chev. To settle accounts with your honour. Well, there. Mrs E. Observe, sir-it is only a short conversation. Chev. Nothing more. Mrs E. No injury to Mr Lennox ? Chev. Never fear. Mrs E. But you must be wary; young as she is, I never saw so cute a one! Chev. Never fear! I tell you, I understand such affairs; or soon shall do at least.-Don't imagine I'm one of your sheep-faced fellows-I don't fear any woman, except her in the Green Park. [Exit MRS ENFIELD.] Now if she be worth carrying off, and I could outwit Lennox-I! Oh! I should establish my character for spirit, soul, and intrepidity for ever! I'll not be out of countenance. No, damme, I am determined, I'il-I'll speak, and to the purpose too, I'll be a damned, forward, prating, impudent, wicked dog! Enter MRS ENFIELD, leading JOANNA, who follows reluctantly; CHEVERIL turns his Back, and tries to assume Courage. Joanna. Really, madam Mrs E. Ah, my lamb, pray oblige me; he is one of my kindest, best friends. Joanna. What then? |