Enter MR Mordent.

Mor. [Anger.] What is the meaning, Mr Item, that I see that upholsterer, and two other ill-looking followers with him, below?

Item. Nay, why ask me? Why knit your brows at me? Can I coin?

Mor. Excuse me; I am a hunted bull, and butt at friends and foes!

Item. The insolent fellow insisted on taking possession; so, thinking you would not wish Lady Anne to know, I prevailed on him and the officer to remain in the hall, till I could speak to you. If I have done amiss, show me in what.

Mor. No, no; I know your zeal. Why will you not advance two thousand pounds, for that and other immediate purposes, and delay signing, Mr Grime? I ask only a day.

Item. Ay, Mr Grime, why will you not?

Grime. [With great Gravity.] Impossible!

Item, Don't tell me! Impossible, indeed! You ought to consent; it is your duty: nay, you shall consent!

Grime. I cannot. Must have security.

Mor. Ha! ha! ha! Villain !—Where is the deed? Item. So you will not, Mr Grime? you will not? Grime. I wish I could; but I am myself a borrower: the money is not my own.

Item. Hem!

Mor. Ha! ha! ha! Damn your rascal hypocrisy! Give me the pen.

Item. [Holding his Arm.] Why, you will not sign, sir, will you?

Mor. Peace, fool! Cannot you see a wretch on the wheel, but that your bones too must ache?

Item. [Quitting him: he signs.] Ah! It is always thus! I may advise, but my advice is never followed. Mor. [Seals.] "I deliver this as my act and deed."

Here, implement of hell! I know your thirst, bloodhound! 'Tis ready-mixed destruction; take, quaff, and burst! Begone!

it

Item. [Seizing the Deed.] Come, sir! My good master has sufficient reason to be angry with you; was very unfriendly, sir, to refuse. Mordent what he has to expect.now secure !

You teach Mr

-[Aside.] All is

[Exeunt ITEM and GRIME.

Enter DONALD, looking earnestly after them.
Don. Ha' ye signed?-Ha' ye signed?
Mor. Ask no questions-Yes.

Don. Weel, weel!-Stark deed has no remeed!Twa wolves may worry ane sheep-I kam to tell ye, that yeer glib gabbit steward, and his compeer, Grime, are twa scoondrels.

Mor. Pshaw, fool!

Don. I tal ye, they are twa damned villains!

Mor. Grime, fellow! Grime! A paltry, gold-loving, ravenous rascal! But Item?-a worthy man! Don. He wordy? That fient? Marcy o' my soul? He is the prime cock deel o' the blackest pit o' hell! The malison curse catch 'em aw! 'Tis nae stick and stow sax minutes sin I heard 'aw their murgullied gab!

Mor. Hear?

Don. Yas, hear!

Mor. What did you hear?

Don. Item himsal confess that he had flethered ye of awe yeer estates; that Grime is nae mair but his flunkie; that it is his intantion to foreclose; that he has wilfully neglacted to pay himsal interest, for that he may claw ye according tul law; that there ha been sham deeds; and that a plot is laid to felch Maister Cheveril of awe his walth.

Mor. [Convulsive Laughter.] Ha! ha! ha! You heard all this?

Don. Wi' my ain ears!

Mor. Ha ha! ha! Item? Are you sure you heard this precious mischief?

Don. When did Donald tall ye a lie?

Mor. Ha ha! ha! Item? I am glad on't! 'Tis right! 'Tis consistent ! 'Tis delightful! Ha! ha! ha! Abraham's rejected prayer: not one honest man! Ha ha ha!

Don. Hoot awa! Nae onest? Nor ye, nor the black-clawed Lucifer himsal, canna deny but that Donald is onest.

Mor. Item? Ha! ha! ha! Inestimable villain! And I too? Thought him just and good! Oh, gull ! gull! gull! gull! Ha! ha! ha! [Recollecting.] Tell Mr Clement I wish to speak with him.

Don. Noo the steed is stolen, ye wad steek the door. [Exit. Mor. [Convulsed Anguish.] Oh the sharp-fanged wolf! Ha! ha! ha!

Enter LENNOX.

Len. Mordent! How now? How you look!
Mor. I am an ass-a most ineffable ass!

Len What is the matter?

Mor. Ha! ha! ha! 'Tis proved upon me!
Len. Your mirth is of a strange kind!

Mor. The man whom I have trusted through life, ha ha ha! he whose rigid honesty-do you mark me? ha! ha! ha! honesty!

Len. Well?

Mor. Ha! ha ha! whose honesty made me sometimes doubt the truth of the self-evident system of evil, ha ha ha! he's a rascal! A double-leagued hell dog!

Len. Your steward?

Mor. Item! A deep, damnable, thorough-paced villain, that can bully, cajole, and curse; fawn, flatter, and filch, ha! ha! ha!

Len. Be patient.

Mor. Oh, I am delighted, ha ha! ha!

Len. Be calm. You knew yourself to be in the power of a villain, and 'tis little matter whether his name be Grime or Item.

Mor. How? Ha! ha! ha! In a world of rascality, are not two rascals better than one?

Len. Nay, but attend to me.
instantly in Dover Street.
Mor. [Pause.] Dover Street?
Len. Yes.

I want your help

Mor. [Recollecting] It must not be.
Len. Ahey! What's the freak now?

Mor. [Wildly. You can have no help of inipe.
Len. [Angry.] Indeed, but I must!

Mor. [Earnest Rapidity.] I would not commit an injury on that girl for worlds.

Len. [Anger increasing.] Why, what conscientious mummery is this? You neglect your own child, and pretend to interest yourself for a stranger!

Mor. If the stranger be an angel of light, a beneficent being, why not?

Len. Beneficent! What, in this system of evil? Mor. An exception to the rule! a rare excep

tion!

Len. Like Item ?

Mor. Pshaw ! Hell!

Len. And may not your deserted daughter be equally an angel?

Mor. [Wild Terror.] May she? If she should-I'll have no concern in the ruin of that girl!

Len. [Confirmed Suspicion and Anger.] Hark you, Mordent, you are plotting.

Mor. I?

Len. No distress can cure you of your old propensities. You mean to trick me of her

Mor. Ha ha!

Len. 'Tis evident. Do you not affirm she cannot

remain innocent, in the house into which she is decoyed?

Mor. [Cooling, yet perturbed.] Granted.

Len. Marriage excepted, which would be madness, am I a man to treat her vilely?

Mar. Not worse than the malignity of fate ordains. Len. If you really wish the lovely creature's welfare, would preserve your ward, and prove your friendship and honest intentions, you will aid me.

Mor. Well, well, I am blind; I am but the tool of destiny; so be it.

Len. Your authority will oblige Mrs Enfield to yield her to me.

Mor. No; my

credit there is on the decline. Stra

tagem! stratagem!

Len. But how? What?

Mor. Convey a disguise to the girl.
Len. And so she will escape us all.

Mor. Escape? No, no! Malevolence is the element of man, and I have an apt alacrity! I will instruct you. Come this way. Having her safe, you may post away with her to my commodious house in Park Lane. Fear not me! When Belial is busy, shall his progeny be idle?

Enter DONALD.

Don. Maister Clement is nae i'the hoose.
Len. Come, come!

Mor. Oh! What an excellent gull is this image of the gods, this thing called man!

[Exeunt MORDENT and LENNOX. Don. Ah! Waes me! This poor lassie! I canna rest! I hirple here and gang hilching there, till I'ze e'en ramfeezled wi' the ripples. I wist nae where tul spier niest. My dool and thole wull be my deeth! I'Gode's name, and wi' aw my hairt; for I'ze recht weary o'life!

F