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If in her coach she'll condescend
To place him at the hinder end,
Her hoop is hoist above his nose,

His odious gown would soil her clothes,
And drops him at the church, to pray,
While she drives on to see the play,
He, like an orderly divine,

Comes home a quarter after nine,
And meets her hasting to the ball:
Her chairmen push him from the wall.
He enters in, and walks up stairs,
And calls the family to prayers;
Then goes alone to take his rest
In bed, where he can spare her best,
At five the footmen make a din,
Her ladyship is just come in;
The masquerade began at two,
She stole away with much ado;
And shall be chid this afternoon,
For leaving company so soon:
She'll say, and she may truly say't,
She can't abide to stay out late.

But now, tho' scarce a twelvemonth married,

Poor Lady Jane has thrice miscarried:

The cause, alas! is quickly guest;

The town has whisper'd round the jest.
Think on some remedy in time,
You find his reverence past his prime,
Already dwindled to a lath :
No other way but try the bath.

For Venus, rising from the ocean,
Infus'd a strong prolific potion,
That mix'd with Achelous spring,
The horned flood, as poets sing,
Who, with an English beauty smitten,
Ran under ground from Greece to Britain;

The genial virtue with him brought,
And gave the nymph a plenteous draught;
Then fled, and left his horn behind,
For husbands past their youth to find:
The nymph, who still with passion burn'd,
Was to a boiling fountain turn'd,

Where childless wives crowd every morn,
To drink in Acheloüs' horn.
And here the father often gains
That title by another's pains.

Hither, though much against the grain,
The Dean has carry'd Lady Jane.
He, for a while, would not consent,
But vow'd his money all was spent:
His money spent! a clownish reason!
And must my lady slip her season?
The doctor, with a double fee,
Was brib'd to make the Dean agree.
Here all diversions of the place
Are proper in my lady's case :
With which she patiently complies,
Merely because her friends advise :
His money and her time employs
In music, raffling-rooms, and toys;
Or in the Cross-bath seeks an heir,
Since others oft have found one there:
Where if the Dean by chance appears,
It shames his cassock and his years.
He keeps his distance in the gallery
Till banish'd by some coxcomb's raillery;
For 'twould his character expose
To bathe among the belles and beaux.
So have I seen, within a pen,
Young ducklings foster'd by a hen;
But, when let out, they run and muddle,
As instinct leads them, in a puddle:

The sober hen, not born to swim,

With mournful note clucks round the brim.
The Dean, with all his best endeavour,
Gets not an heir, but gets a fever.
A victim to the last essays

Of vigour in declining days,

He dies, and leaves his mourning mate
(What could he less?) his whole estate.
The widow goes through all her forms:
New lovers now will come in swarms.
O, may I see her soon dispensing
Her favours to some broken ensign!
Him let her marry, for his face,
And only coat of tarnish'd lace ;
To turn her naked out of doors,
And spend her jointure on his whores;
But, for a parting present, leave her
A rooted pox to last for ever!

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OUR brethren of England, who love us so dear,
And in all they do for us so kindly do mean,
(A blessing upon them!) have sent us this year,
For the good of our church, a true English dean.
A holier priest ne'er was wrapt up in crape,
The worst you can say, he committed a rape."

II.

In his journey to Dublin, he lighted at Chester, And there he grew fond of another man's wife;

* DUBLIN, June 6. The Rev. Dean Sawbridge, having surrendered himself on his indictment for a rape, was arraigned at the bar of the Court of King's Bench, and is to be tried next Monday."-London Evening Post, June 16, 1730.- DUBLIN, June 13. The Rev. Thomas Sawbridge, Dean of Fernes, who was indicted for ravishing Susanna Runkard, and whose trial was put off for some time past, on motion of the King's Counsel on behalf of the said Susanna, was yesterday tried in the Court of King's Bench, and acquitted. It is reported, that the Dean intends to indict her for perjury, he being in the county of Wexford when she swore the rape was committed against her in the city of Dublin."-Daily Post-Boy, June 23, 1730.-NICOL.

Burst into her chamber and would have caress'd

her;

But she valued her honour much more than her

life.

She bustled, and struggled, and made her escape
To a room full of guests, for fear of a rape.

III.

The Dean he pursued, to recover his game;
And now to attack her again he prepares:
But the company stood in defence of the dame,
They cudgell'd, and cuft him, and kick'd him.
down stairs.

His deanship was now in a damnable scrape,
And this was no time for committing a rape.

IV.

To Dublin he comes, to the bagnio he goes,
And orders the landlord to bring him a whore;
No scruple came on him his gown to expose,

'Twas what all his life he had practis'd before. He had made himself drunk with the juice of the

grape,

And got a good clap, but committed no rape.

V.

The Dean, and his landlord, a jolly comrade,
Resolv'd for a fortnight to swim in delight;

For why, they had both been brought up to the trade

Of drinking all day, and of whoring all night.
His landlord was ready his deanship to ape
In every debauch, but committing a rape.

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