'Tis a brave cow. O, Sirs, when Christmas

66 comes, [plums; "These shins fhall make the porridge grac'd with "Then, 'midst our cups, whilst we profufely dine, "This blade fhall enter deep in Mully's chine. What ribs, what rumps, what bak'd, boil'd, ❝ftewd, and roast!

"There fhan't one fingle tripe of her be loft!" When Peggy, nymph of Mountown, heard these founds,

She griev'd to hear of Mully's future wounds. "What crime," faid the," has gentle Mully done? "Witness the rising and the setting fun, "That knows what milk fhe conftantly would give! "Let that quench Robin's rage, and Mully live." Daniel, a fprightly fwain, that us'd to flash The vigorous feeds that drew his lord's calash, To Peggy's fide inclin'd; for 'twas well known How well he lov'd those cattle of his own. VOL. VI.

Then Terence spoke, oraculous and fly, He'd neither grant the queftion nor deny; Pleading for milk, his thoughts were on mince

pye:

But all his arguments fo dubious were, That Mully thence had neither hopes nor fear. "You've spoke," fays Robin; "but now, let me ❝ tell ye,

"'Tis not fair fpoken words that fill the belly: Pudding and beef I love; and cannot stoop "To recommend your bonny-clapper foup. "You fay fhe's innocent: but what of that? "'Tis more than crime fufficient that she's fat! "And that which is prevailing in this cafe "Is, there's another cow to fill her place. "And, granting Mully to have milk in ftore, "Yet ftill this other cow will give us more. "She dies."-Stop here, my mufe: forbear the reft: And veil that grief which cannot be expreft! Y y

As poets fay, one Orpheus went
To hell upon an odd intent.
Fi-ft tell the ftory, then let's know,
If any one will do fo now.

This Orpheus was a jolly boy,
Born long before the fiege of Troy;
His parents found the lad was fharp,
And taught him on the Irish harp;
And, when grown fit for marriage-life,
Gave him Eurydice for wife;
And they, as foon as match was made,
Set up the ballad finging trade.

The cunning varlet could devife,
For country folks, ten thoufard lies;
Affirming all thefe monstrous things
Were done by force of barp and strings ;
Could make a tiger in a trice
Tame as a ca, and catch your mice;
Could make a lion's courage flag,
And ftraight could animate a stag,
And, by the help of pleafing ditties,
Make mill-ftones run, and build up cities;
Fach had the use of fluent tongue,
If Dicé fcolded, Orpheus fung
And to, by difcord without ftrife,
Compos'd one harmony of life;
And thus, as all their matters stood,
They got an honeft livelihood.

Happy were mortal-, could they be
From any fudden danger free!
Happy were poets, could their fong
The teeble thread of life prolong!

But, as thefe two went ftrolling on,
Poor Dicé's fcene of life was done :
Away her fleeting breath must fly,
Yet no one knows wherefore, or why.
This caus'd the general lamentation,
To all that knew her in her station;
How brifk the was ftill to advance
'The harper's gain, and lead the dance,
In every tune obferve her thrill,
Sing on, yet change the money ftill.

Orpheus best knew what lofs he had, And, thinking on't, fell almost mad, And in defpair to Linus ran,

Who was efteem'd a cunning-man; Cried, "He again muft Dicé have, "Or elfe be buried in her grave."

Quoth Linus," Soft, refrain your forrow: "What fails to-day, may speed to morrow. "Thank you the gods for whate'er happens, "But don't fall out with your fat capens " 'Tis many an honeft man's petiti #, "That he may be in your condition. "If fuch a blefling might be had, "To change a living wife for dead, "I'd be your chapman; nay, I'd do't, "Though I gave forty pounds to boot. "Confider firft, you fave her diet; "Confider next, you keep her quiet: "For, pray, what was fhe all along, "Except the burthen of your fong? "What though your Dicé's under ground; "Yet many a woman may be found, "Who, in your gains if the may part take. "Trust me, will quickly make your heart ach "Then reft content, as widowers thouid"The gods best know what's for our good!" Orpheus no longer could endure Such wounds where he expected cure.

"Is't poffible!" cried he: " and can
"That noble creature, married man,
"In fuch a cause be so profane?
"I'll fly thee far as I would death,
"Who from my Dicé took her breath."
Which faid, he foon outstript the wind,
Whilst puffing Boreas lagg'd behind;
And to Urganda's cave he came,
A lady of prodigious fame,

Whofe hollow eyes and hopper breech
Made common people call her witch;
Down at her feet he proftrate lies,
With trembling heart and blubber'd eyes

"Tell me," faid he, "for fure you "The powers above, and those below, "Where does Eurydice remain? "How fhall I fetch her back again?"

She fmilingly replied, "I'll tell "This eafily without a spell:

know

"The wife you look for's gone to hell"Nay, never start, man, for 'tis fo; "Except one ill-bred wife or two, "The fashion is, for all to go. "Not that fhe will be damn'd; ne'er fear "But he may get preferment there. Indeed, the might be fried in pitch, "If he had been a bitter bitch; "If fhe had leapt athwart a fword, "And afterwards had broke her word. "But your Eurydice, poor foul! "Was a good-natur'd harmless fool; "Except a little catervawling, "Was always painful in her calling; "And, I dare truft old Pluto for't, "She will find favour in his court: "But then to fetch her back, that still "Remains, and may be past my skill; "For, 'tis too fad a thing to jest on, "You're the firft man e'er afk'd the question; "For husbands are fuch felfish elves,

"The brifkeft dancer on the green, "Before old Pluto ravish'd her

"Took her to Hell-and you may fwear, "She had but little mufic there; "For, fince the laft beheld the fun, "Her merry dancing days are done: "She has a colt's-tooth ftill, I warrant, "And will not difapprove your errand. "Then your request does reason feem, "For what's one fingle ghoft to them?

Though thoufand phantoms fhould invade ye, "Pafs on-Faint heart ne'er won fair lady! "The bold a way will find or make; "Remember, 'tis for Dicé's fake."

Nothing pleas'd Orpheus half fo well,
As news that he must go to hell.
Th' impatient wight long'd to be going,
As moft folks feek their own undoing;
Ne'er thought of what he left behind;
Never confider'd he fhould find
Scarce any paffenger befide

Himself, nor could he hire a guide.
"Will mufic do't?" cried he.

"Ne'er heed:

"My harp fhall make the marble bleed; "My harp all dangers fhall remove, "And dare all flames, but thofe of love."

Then, kneeling, begs, in terms most civil,
Urganda's paffport to the devil.
Her pafs fhe kindly to him gave,

Then bade him 'noint himself with falve;
Such as thofe hardy people ufe,
Who walk on fire without their shoes,
Who, on occafion, in a dark hole,
Can gormandize on lighted charcoal,
And drink eight quarts of flaming fuel,
As men in flux do water-gruel.
She bade him then go to those caves,
Where conjurers keep fairy flaves,
Such fort of creatures as will bafte ye
A kitchen wench, for being nafty,
But, if the neatly fcour her pewter,
Give her the money that is due t'her.
Orpheus went down a narrow hole,
That wat as dark as any coal;
He did at length fome glimmering spy,
By which, at leaft, he might defcry
Ten thousand little fairy elves,
Who there were folacing themfelves.

All ran about him, cried, "Oh, dear! "Who thought to have feen Orpheus here? ""Tis that queen's birth day which you fee "And you are come as luckily;

"You had no ballad but we bought it, "Paid Dicé when fhe little thought it; "When you beneath the ewe-tree fat, "We've come, and all danc'd round your hat; "But whereabouts did Dicé leave ye? "She had been welcome, Sir, believe me." "Thefe little chits would make one fwear." Quoth Orpheus, 'twixt difdain and fear. "And dare thefe urchins jeer my croffes, "And laugh at mine and Dicé's loffes? "Hands off-the monkeys hold the fafter;

66

Sirrahs, I'm going to your mafter

"Good words," quoth Oberon, " don't flinch; "For every time you ftir, I'll pinch; "But, if you decently fit down,

"I'l firft equip you with a crown;

"Then for each dance, and for each fong, "Our pence a piece the whole night long." Orpheus, who found no remedy,

Made virtue of neceflity;

Though all was out of tune, their dance
Would only hinder his advance.

Each note that from his fingers fell
Seem'd to be Dicé's paffing bell;

At last, night let him eafe his crupper,
Get on his legs to go to fupper.

Quoth Nab, "We here have strangers feldom, "But, Sir, to what we have you're welcome." "Madam, they feem of light digeftion. "Is it not rude to ask a queftion, "What they may be, fish, flesh, or fruit? "For I ne'er faw things fo minute."

SIR,

"A roafted ant, that's nicely done, "By one fmall atom of the fan.

"Thefe are flies' eggs, in moon-shine poach'd; "This a flea's thigh in collops fcotch'd,

"'Twas hunted yesterday i' th' park,
"And like t' have 'fcap'd us in the dark.
"This is a dish entirely new,

"Butterflies' brains diffolv'd in dew;
"Thefe lovers' vows, thefe courtiers' hopes,
"Things to be eat by microfcopes;
"Thefe fucking mites, a glow-worm's heart,
"This a delicious rainbow-tart!"

"Madam, I find they're very nice, "And will digeft within a trice; "I fee there's nothing you efteem, "That's half fo grofs as our whipt cream; "And I infer, from all these meats, "That fuch light fuppers keep clean sheets." "But, Sir," faid fhe, " perhaps you're dry!" "Then, fpeaking to a fairy by, "You've taken care, my dear Endia, "All's ready for my Ratifa."

"SIR,

"A drop of water, newly torn Fresh from the rofy-finger'd morn; "A pearl of milk, that's gently prett "From blooming Hebe's early breaít; "With half a one of Cupid's tears, "When he in embryo first appears; "And honey from an infant bee: "Makes liquor for the gods and me!"

"Madani," fays he, “an't pleafe your Grace,

"I'm going to a droughty place;
"And if I an't too bold, pray charge her,
"The draught I have be fomewhat larger."
"Fetch me," faid fhe, " a mighty bowl,
"Like Oberon's capacious foul,
"And then fill up the burnifh'd gold

With juice that makes the Britous bold.
"This from feven barley-corns I drew,
"Its years are feven, and to the view
"' is clear, and fparkles fit for you.
"But flay-

"When I by fate was laft time hurl'd,
"To act my pranks in t' other world,
"I faw fome fparks, as they were drinking,
"With mighty mirth and little thinking,

Thei. jets were fupernaculum, "And fearch'd the rubics from each thumb, Ard in this crystal have them here, "Perhaps you'll like it more than beer" Wine and late hours diffolv'd the feast, And men and fairies went to real.

The bed where Orpheus was to lie
Was all fluff'd full of harmony:
Furling freams and amorous rills,
Dying found that never kills,
Zopherus breathing, love delighting,
Joy to flamber feft inviting,
Trembling founds that make no noise,
And longs to pleafe withou a voice,
Were mixt with down that fell from Jove,
When he became a fwan for love.

'Twas night, and nature's felf lay dead, Nedding upon a feather-bed;

The mountains feem'd to bend their tops,
And fhunters clos'd the milleners' fhops;
Excluding both the punks and fors;

No ruffled ftreams to mill do come,
The filent fish were ftill more dumb;
Look in the chimney, not a fpark there,
And darkness did itself grow darker.

But Orpheus could not fleep a wink,
He had too many things to think :
But, in the dark, his harp he ftrung,
And to the listening fairies fung.

Prince Prim, who pitied fo much youth
Join'd with fo much conftancy and truth
Soon gave him thus to understand;

"Sir, I laft night receiv'd command "To fee you out of Fairy Land, "Into the realm of Nofootbocai; "But let not fear of fulphur choke ye; "For he's a fiend of fenfe and wit, "And has got many rooms to let."

As quick as thought, by glow-worm glimp Out walk the fidler and the prince. They foon arrive, find Bocai brewing Of claret for a vintner's ftewing.

"I come from Oberon," quoth Prince Pri ""Tis well," quoth Bocai," "what from "him?"

"Why, fomething ftrange; this honeft man) "Had his wife died; now, if he can, "He fays, he'd have her back again."

46

Then Bocai, fmiling, cried, " You fee, Orpheus, you'd better stay with me. "For, let me tell you, Sir, this place, Although it has an ugly face, "If to its value it were fold, "Is worth ten thousand ton of gold; "And very famous in all story, "Call'd by the name of Purgatory. "For when fome ages fhall have run, "And Truth by Falfehood be undone, "Shall rife the Whore of Babylon; "And this fame whore fhall be a man, "Who, by his lies and cheating, can "Be fuch a trader in all evil,

"As to outdo our friend the devil; "He and his pimps fhall lay, that when "A man is dying, thither then "The devil comes to take the fool, "And carry him down to this hole; "But, if a man have flore of wealth, "To get fome prayers for his foul's health, "The devil has then no more to do, "But must be fore'd to let him go.

But we are no more fools than they, "Thus to be bubbled of our prey.

By thefe fante pic us frauds and lies, "Shall many monafteries rife : "Friars fhall get good meat and beer, "To pray folks out that ne'er came here; "Pans, pots, and kettles fhall be given, "To fetch a man from hence to heaven "Suppose a man has taken purfes, "Or stolen fheep, or cows, or horfes, "And chances to be hang'd, you'd cry, "Let him be hang'd, and fo good-by. "Hold, fays the friar, let me alone, "He's but to purgatory gene: "And if you'll let our convent keep "Thofe purfes, cows, horfes, and sheep,

"The fellow fhall find no more pain, "Than if he were alive again."

Here Orpheus figh'd, began to take on, Cried, "Could I find the whore you spake

❝ on,

"I'd give him my beft fiitch of bacon:
"I'd give him cake and fugar'd fack,
"If he would bring my Dicé back:
"Rather than fhe fhould longer stay,
"I'd find fome lufty man to pray.
"And then poor Dicé, let him try her,
"I dare fay, would requite the friar.”
Great Nofnotbocai fmil'd to fee
Such goodness and fintplicity.
Then kindly led them to a cell,
An outward granary of hell;
A filthy place, that's feldom fwept,
Where feeds of villany are kept.

"Orpheus," faid he, I'd have you take
"Some of these feeds here, for my fake;
"Which, if they are difcreetly hurl'd
"Thoughout the parts of t'other world,
"They may oblige the fiend you fue to,
"And fill the palace of old Pluto.

"So pride-feed uppermoft; then above "Envy and scandal, and plant felf-love. "Here take revenge and malice without cause, "And here contempt of honesty and laws; "This hot feed's anger, and this hotter luft,

Beft fown with breach of friendship, and of "trust:

Thefe ftorm, hail, plague, and tempeft feeds; "And this a geinteffence of weeds;

"This is the worst fort of artichoke, "A plant that Pluto himself bespoke, Nourish it well, 'tis ufeful treachery; "This is a choice, though little feed, a lie: "Here take fome now from thefe prodigious " loads

"Of tender things, that look like toads:
"In future times, thefe, finely dreft,
"Shall each invade a prince's breaft;
"'Tis flattery feed; though thinly fown,
It is a mighty plant when grown,
When rooted deep, and fully blown;

plot.

"And now, dear Orpheus, fcatter thefe but well; "And you'll deferve the gratitude of hell,"

Quoth Orpheus," You will be abey'd "In every thing that you have laid, "For mifchief is the poet's trade: "And whatsoever they fhall bring, "You may affure yourself I'll fing. "But pray what poets fhall we have, “At my returning from the grave?"

"Sad dogs," quoth Bocai,-" let me fee"But, fince what I fay cannot shame them, "I'll e'en refolve to never name them."

But, now," fays Bocai," Sir, you may "Long to be going on your way, "Unless you'll drink fome arfenic claret : "'Tis burnt, you fee; but Samı can fpare it."

Orpheus replied, "Kind Sir, 'tis neither Brandy nor whets that brought me hither; "But love, and I an inftance can be, "Love is as hot as pepper'd brandy; "Yet, gentle Sir, you may command "A tune from a departing hand; "The ftyle and paflion both are good, "'Tis The Three Children in the Wood."

He fang; and pains themselves found ease; For griefs, when well exprefs'd, can please. When he defcrib'd the children's lofs,

And how the robins cover'd them with mofs;
To hear the pity of thofe birds,

Ev'n Bocai's tears fell down with Orpheus' words,
&c.
Y iij