"behold

"Its radiant paint, and ornamental gold: "Wooden authority when thus I wield, "Perfons of all degrees obedience yield. "Then, be you the best man in all the city, "Mark me! I to the Counter will commit ye."

"You! kifs, and fo forth. For that never spare : "If that be all, commit me if you dare; "No person yet, either through fear or shame, "Durft commit me, that once had heard my "name."

"

"I came from Windfor; and, if fome folks knew "As much as I, it might be well for you." "Lord, Paul! what is't?"-" Why give me fome"thing for 't,

"This kifs; and this. The matter then is fhort: "The parliament have made a proclamation, "Which will this week be fent all round the nation; "That maids with little mouths do all prepare "On Sunday next to coine before the mayor, "And that all bachelors be likewife there: "For maids with little mouths fhall if they please, "From out of thefe young men choose two a"piece."

}

Betty, with bridled chin, extends her face, And then contracts her lips with fimpering grace, Cries, "Hem pray what must all the huge

In executing what designs he laid :
'Twas they should rob the orchard, he'd retire,
His foot was fafe whilft their's was in the fire.
He kept them in the dark to that degree,
None fhould prefume to be as wife as he;
But, being at the top of all affairs,

The profit was his own, the mischief theirs. There fell fome words made him begin to doubt, The rogues would grow fo wife to find him out; He was not pleas'd with this, and fo next day He cries to them, as going just to play, "What a rare jack-daw's neft is there! look up, "You fee 'tis almost at the steeple's top." "Ah," fays another, “ we can have no hope "Of getting thither to 't without a rope Says then the fleering fpark, with courteous grin, By which he drew his infant cullies in ;

66

"

Nothing more eafy; did you never fee "How, in a fwarm, bees hanging bee by bee, "Make a long fort of rope below the tree. "Why may'nt we do the fame, good Mr. John? "For that contrivance pray let me alone. "Tom fhall hold Will, you Will, and I'll hold you;

"And then I warrant you the thing will do. "But, if there's any does not care to try, "Let us have no jack-daws, and what care I!". That touch'd the quick, and fo they foon' complied,

No argument like that was e'er denied, And therefore inftantly the thing was tried. They hanging down on strength above depend: Then to himself mutters their trufty friend, "The dogs are almost useless grown to me, "I ne'er thall have fuch opportunity

"To part with them; and fo c'en let them" go."

Then cried aloud," So ho! my lads fo ho: "You're unlefs gone, you all hold fast below. "They've ferv'd my turn, fo 'tis time to drop "them;

"The devil, if he wants them, let him ftop them."

THE BEGGAR WOMAN.

A GENTLEMAN in hunting rode astray,
More out of choice, than that he loft his way:
He let his company the hare pursue,
For he himself had other game in view:
A beggar by her trade; yet not so mean,
But that her cheeks were freth, and linen clean.
"Miftrefs," quoth he," and what if we two
"Retire a little way into the wood." [thould

She needed not much courtship to be kind, He ambles on before, the trots behind; For little Bobby, to her fhoulders bound, Hinders the gentle dame from ridding ground. He often afk'd her to expofe, but the Still fear'd the coming of his company. Says he, "I know an unfrequented place "To the left hand, where we our time may pass, "And the mean while your horfe may find feme grals."

Z. z iij

Thither they come, and both the horse secure; Then thinks the fquire, I have the matter fure. She's afk'd to fit: bur then excufe is made, "Sitting," fays the. 's not ufual in my trade: "Should you be rude, and then fhould throw me "down, [own "I might perhaps break more backs than my He fmiling cries, "Come, I'll the knot untie, And, if you mean the child's, we'll lay it by. Says he, "That can't be done; for then 'twill ( 66 cry.

"I'd not have as, but chiefly for your fake, "Difcover'd by the hideous noise 'twill make. "Ufe is another nature, and 't would lack, "More than the breaft, its custom to the back." "Then," fays the gentleman, "I should be loth "To come fo far, and difoblige you both: [do?" "Were the child tied to me, d'ye think 'twould "Mighty well, Sir! Oh, Lord! if tied to you !" With fpeed incredible to work the gocs, And from her shoulder foon the burthen throws; Then mounts the infant with a gentle toss Upon her generous friend, and, like a crofs, The fheet the with a dextrous motion winds, Till a firm knot the wandering fabric binds.

The gentleman had fcarce got time to know What he was doing; the, about to go, Cries," Sir, good bye; ben't angry that we part, "I trust the child to you with all my heart: "But, ere you get another, 'ten't amifs "To try a year or two how you'll keep this."

THE VESTRY.

WITHIN the fhire of Nottingham their lies
A parifh fam'd, because the men were wife:
Of their own flrain they had a teacher fought,
Who all his life was better fed than taught.
It was about a quarter of a year
Si ce he had fnor'd, and cat, and fatten'd there;
When he the houfekeepers, their wives, and ail,
Did to a fort of parith-meeting call;
Promifing fomething, which, well underflood,
In hrtle time would turn to all their good.
When met, he thus harrangues: "Neighbours,
"I find,

"That in your principles, ou're well inclin'd:
"But then you're all folicitous for Sunday;
"None feem to have a due regard for Monday,
"Moft people then their dinners have to feek,
"As if twere not the first day of the week;
"But, when you have hafh'd meat, and nothing

" Take hens, gecfe, turkies, then, or something "light,

"Because their legs, if broil'd, will ferve at night, "And, fince I find that reaft beef makes you "Corn it a little more, and fo 'twill keep. (Deep, "Roaft it on Monday, pity it should be spoil'¿, "On Tuesday mutton either roaft or boil'. On Wednesday should be fome variety, "A loin or breaft of veal, and pigeon-pye. "On Thursday each man of his difh make choice, "'lis fit on market-days we all rejoice. "And then on Friday, as I faid before, "We'll have a difh of fish, and one difh more, On Saturday flew'd beef, and fomething nice, "Provided quick, and tofs'd up in a trice, "Becaule that in the afternoon you know, "By custom, we muft to the ale-house go: For elfe how should our houfes e'er be clean, Except we gave fome time to do it then? "From whence, unless we vale not our lives, "None part without remembering firft our wiTCL "But thefe are standing rules for every day, "And very good ones as I fʊ may fay: "After each meal, let's take a hearty cup: And where we dine, 'tis fitting that we fup. "Now for the application, and the use: "I fourd your care for Sunday an abuse: All would be afking, Pray, Sir, where d' you *" dine?

WHEN the young people ride the skimmington,
There is a general trembling in a town:
Not only he for whom the perfon rides
Suffers, but they tweep other doors befides;
And by that hieroglyphic does appear
That the good woman is the matter there.
At Jenny's door the barbarous heathen swept,
And his poor wife fcolded until the wept;
The mob fwept on, whilft fhe fent forth in vain
Her vocal thunder and her briny rain.

Some few days after, two young sparks came there,
And whilft he does her coffee freth prepare,
One for difcourfe of news the master calls,
T'other on this ungrateful subje& fails.

Pray, Mrs. Jenny, whence came this report, "For I believe there's no great reason fol't, "As if the folks t'other day (wept your door, "And half a dozen of your neighbours mer.

There's nothing in't," lays Jenny,“ that is dope "Where the wife rules, but here I rule alone,

}

* And gentlemen, you'd much mistaken be, If any one should not think that of me. * Within these walls, my fuppliant vassals know What due obedience to their prince they owe, And kifs the fhadow of my papal toe. My word's a law; when I my power advance, 'There's not a greater monarch ev'n in France. Not the Mogul or Czar of Muscovy, Not Prefter John, or Cham of Tartary, Are in their houses monarch more than I. My house my caftle is, and here I'm king. I'm pope, I'm emperor, monarch, every thing. What though my wife be partner of my bed, 'The monarch's crown fits only on this head." His wife had plaguy ears, as well as tongue, And, hearing all, thought his difcourfe too long: Her confcience faid, he should not tell fuch lies, And to acknowledge fuch; fhe therefore cries, "D'ye hear-you-Sirrah-Monarch-there?

"Come down

* And grind the coffee-or I'll crack your crown."

JUST AS YOU PLEASE.

OR,

THE INCURIO U S.

find

A VIRTUOSO had a mind to fee One that would never discontented be, But in a careless way to all agree He had a fervant, much of Æfop's kind, Of perfonage uncouth, but sprightly mind: "Humpus," fays he, "I order that you "Out fuch a man, with fuch a character, "As in this paper now. I give you here; "Or I will lug your ears, or crack your pate, "Or rather you fhall meet with a worse fate, "For I will break your back, and fet you ftrait.. "Bring him to dinner." Humpus foon withdrew, Was fafe, as having such a one in view At Covent Garden dial, whom he found Sitting with thoughtless air, and look profound. Who, folitary gaping without care, Seem'd to fay, "Who is't? wilt go any where?" Says Hunipus," Sir, my mafter bade me pray "Your company to dine with him to-day.' He fnuffs; then follows; up the ftair's he goes, Never pulls of his hat, nor cleans his fhoes, But, looking round him, faw a handsome room, And did not much repent that he was come; Clofe to the fire he draws an elbow chair, And, lolling eafy, doth for fleep prepare. In comes the family, but he fits itill, [will!" Thinks, "Let them take the other chairs that The mafter thus accofts him, Sir, you're wet, "Pray have a cushion underneath your feet." Thinks he, "If I do fpoil it, need I care? "I fee he has eleven more to fpare."

Dinner's brought up; the wife is bid retreat, And at the upper end must be his feat. "This is not very ufual," thinks the clown: "But is not all the family his own? "And why should I, for contradiction's fake, "Lofe a good dinner, which he bids me take?

"If from his table the difcarded be, "What need I care, there's the more for me." After a while, the daughter's bid to stand, And bring him whatfoever he'll command. Thinks he," The better from the fairer hand!"" Young mafter next must rife to fill him wine, And ftarve himself, to see the booby dine. He does. The father afks, "What have you "there?

"How dare you give a stranger vinegar?” "Sir, 'twas champagne I gave him.- "Sir, in

"deed!

"Take him and scourge him till the rafcal bleed; "Don't spare him for his tears or age: I'll try "If cat-of-nine tails can excufé a lie."

Thinks the clown, "That 'twas wine I do be"lieve;

"But fuch young rogues are apteft to deceive; "He's none of mine, but his own flesh and blood, "And how know I but 't may be for his good?” When the defert came on, and jellies brought, Then was the difmal fcene of finding fault : They were fuch hideous, filthy, poisonous stuff, Could not be rail'd at, nor reveng'd enough. Humpus was afk'd who made them. Trembling he Said, "Sir, it was my lady gave them me.". "No more fuch poifon fhall the ever give, "I'll burn the witch, t'ent fitting the fhould live: "Set faggots in the court. I'll make her fry; "And pray, good Sir, may't please you to be "by?"

Then, fmiling, fays the clown," Upon my life, "A pretty fancy this, to burn one's wife!" "And fince I find 'tis really your defign,

ZABRA.

In gloom of night, when Darco's eyes
Are guides, what heart can stray?
Whoever views his teeth, defcries
The bright and milky way.

DARCO.

Though born to rule fierce Libya's fands,
That with gold's luftre shine,
With ease I quit thofe high commands
Whilft Zabra thus is mine.

ZABRA.

Should I to that bleft world repair, Where whites no portion have, I'd foon, if Darco were not there, Fly back, and be a slave.

EPIGRA M.

WHO could believe that a fine needle's smart
Should from a finger pierce a virgin's heart;
That, from an orifice so very small,
The fpirits and the vital blood should fall?
Strephon and Phaon, I'll be judg'd by you,
If more than this has not been found too true.
From fmaller darts much greater wounds arise,
When shot by Cynthia's or by Laura's eyes.

EPIGRAM.

SAM Wills had view'd Kate Bets, a smiling lass;
And for her pretty mouth admir'd her face.
Kate had lik'd Sam, for nofe of Roman fize,
Not minding his complexion or his eyes.
They met-fays Sam, Alas, to say the truth,
I find myself deceiv'd by that small mouth!
Alas, cries Kate, could any one suppose,
I could be fo deceiv'd by fuch a nofe!
But I henceforth fhall hold this maxim just,
To have experience first, and then to trust!

TO MR. CARTER,

STEWARD TO THE LORD CARTERET.

ACCEPT of health from one who, writing this,
Wishes you in the fame that now he is;
Though to your perfon he may be unknown,
His wishes are as hearty as your own:
For Carter's drink, when in his master's hand,
Has pleasure and good-nature at command.
What though his lordship's lands are in your truft,
'Tis greater to his brewing to be just.

As to that matter, no one can find fault,
If you fupply him still with well-dried malt.
Still be a fervant conftant to afford

A liquor fitting for your generous lord;
Liquor, like him, from feeds of worth in light,
With sparkling atoms ftill afcending bright.