Strephon, who heard the fuming rill
As from a mossy cliff distil,
Cry'd out, "Ye Gods! what sound is this?
"Can Chloe, heav'nly Chloe!
But when he smelt a noisome steam,
Which oft' attends that lukewarm stream,
(Salerno both together joins,
As sov'reign med'cines for the loins)
And tho' contriv'd, we may suppose,
To slip his ears, yet struck his nose;
He found her, while the scent increas'd,
As mortal as himself at least:
But soon with like occasions prest,
He boldly sent his hand in quest
(Inspir'd with courage from his bride) To reach the pot on t'other side,
And as he fill'd the reeking vase,
Adieu to ravishing delights,
High raptures and romantic flights;
To goddesses so heav'nly sweet,
Expiring shepherds at their feet;
*Vide Scbol. Salern. Rules of Health, written by the School of Salernum.
Mingere cum bumbis res est saluberrima lumbis.
To silver meads and shady bow'rs
Dress'd up with amaranthine flow'rs.
How great a change, how quickly made!
They learn to call a spade a spade;
They soon from all constraint are freed,
Can see each other do their need:
On box of cedar sits the wife,
And makes it warm for dearest life;
And, by the beastly way of thinking,
Find great society in stinking.
Now Strephon daily entertains
His Chloe in the homeliest strains;
And Chloe, more experienc'd grown,
With int'rest pays him back his own.
No maid at court is less asham'd,
Howe'er for selling bargains fam'd,
Than she to name her parts behind,
Or when a-bed to let out wind.
Fair Decency! celestial maid!
Descend from heav'n to Beauty's aid;
Tho' Beauty may beget desire,
'Tis thou must fan the lover's fire;
For Beauty, like supreme dominion,
Is best supported by Opinion:
If Decency bring no supplies,
Opinion falls, and Beauty dies.
To see some radiant nymph appear
In all her glitt'ring birth-day gear,
You think some goddess from the sky
Descended ready cut and dry:
But ere you sell yourself to laughter,
Consider well what may come after,
For fine ideas vanish fast,
While all the gross and filthy last.
O Strephon! ere that fatal day
When Chloe stole your heart away,
Had you but thro' a cranny spy'd
On house of ease your future bride,
In all the postures of her face
On what you saw, and what you smelt
Would still the same ideas give ye,
As when you spy'd her on the privy;
And, 'spite of Chloe's charms divine,
Your heart had been as whole as mine.
Authorities, both old and recent,
Direct that women must be decent,
And from the spouse each blemish hide,
More than from all the world beside *,
If virtue, as some writers pretend, be that which preduces happiness, it must be granted, that to practise decency is a moral obligation; and if virtue consists in obedience to a law, as the nuptial laws enjoin both parties to avoid offence, decency will still be duty, and the breach of it will incur some degree of guilt. Hawkes.
Unjustly all our nymphs complain Their empire holds so short a reign; Is after marriage lost so soon,
It hardly holds the honey-moon;
For if they keep not what they caught,
It is entirely their own fault.
'They take possession of the crown,
And then throw all their weapons down;
Tho' by the politicians' scheme,
Whoe'er arrives at pow'r supreme,
Those arts by which at first they gain it,
They still must practise to maintain it.
What various ways our females take
Το pass for wits before a rake!
And in the fruitless search pursue
All other methods but the true.
Some try to learn polite behaviour,
By reading books against their Saviour;
Some call it witty to reflect
Some shew they never want explaining
To comprehend a double meaning.
But sure a tell-tale out of school
Is of all wits the greatest fool,
Whose rank imagination fills
Her heart, and from her lips distils;
You'd think she utter'd from behind,
Or at her mouth was breaking wind.
Why is a handsome wife ador'd
By ev'ry coxcomb but her lord?
From yonder puppet-man inquire,
Who wisely hides his wood and wire,
Shews Sheba's queen completely drest,
And Solomon in royal vest;
But view them litter'd on the floor,
Or strung on pegs behind the door,
Punch is exactly of a piece
With Lorrain's Duke and Prince of Greece *.
A prudent builder should forecast
Rash Mortals! ere you take a wife,
Contrive your pile to last for life:
Since beauty scarce endures a day,
And youth so swiftly glides away,
Why will you make yourself a bubble,
To build on sand with hay and stubble?
On sense and wit your passion found,
By decency cemented round.
Let prudence, with good nature, strive
To keep esteem and love alive;
For the same reason many an handsome wife is neglected for an homely mistress, who better knows her interest, and considers love as her trade. Hawkes..
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