at the fame time they may fee them ftumble in an unlucky gutter which runs under the window.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

I HAVE lately read the conclufion of your fortyfeventh fpeculation upon butts with great pleafure,. ⚫ and have ever fince been thoroughly perfuaded that one of those gentlemen is extremely neceffary to enliven converfation. I had an entertainment last week upon the water for a lady to whom I make my addreffes, ⚫ with several of our friends of both fexes. To divert the company in general, and to fhew my miftrefs in particular, my genius for raillery, I took one of the moft celebrated butts in town along with me. It is with the utmost shame and confufion that I muft ac-' quaint you with the fequel of my adventure: as foon as we were got into the boat, I played a fentence or two at my butt which I thought very fmart, when my ill genius, who I verily believe infpired him purely for my deftruction, fuggefted to him fuch a reply, as got all the laughter on his fide. I was dafhed at fo unexpected a turn; which the butt perceiving, refolved not to let me recover myself, and pursuing his victory, rallied and toffed me in a moft unmerciful and barba· rous manner until we came to Chelfea. I had fome fmall fuccefs while we were eating cheefe-cakes: bur coming home, he renewed his attacks with his former good-fortune, and equal diverfion to the whole company. In fhort, fir, I must ingenuously own that I was never fo handled in all my life; and to complete my misfortune, I am fince told that the butt, flushed with his late victory, has made a vifit or two to the dear object of my wishes, fo that I am at once in danger of lofing all my pretenfions to wit, and my mistress into the bargain. This, fir, is a true account of my prefent troubles, which you are the more obliged to affift me in, as you were yourself in a great measure the cause of them, by recommending to us an inftrument, and not inftructing us at the fame time how to play upon it.

I have been thinking whether it might not be highly convenient that all butts fhould wear an infcription

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affixed to fome part of their bodies, fhewing on which ⚫ fide they are to be come at, and that if any of them are perfons of unequal tempers, there fhould be fome method taken to inform the world at what time it is fafe to attack them, and when you had beft let them alone. But, fubmitting these matters to your more ⚫ferious confideration,

I have, indeed, feen and heard of fevetal young gentlemen under the fame misfortune with my prefent correfpondent. The beft rule I can lay down for them to avoid the like calamities for the future, is thoroughly to confider not only "whether their companions are "weak," but "whether themselves are wits."

The following letter comes to me from Exeter, and being credibly informed that what it contains is matter of fact, I shall give it my reader as it was fent me.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

Exeter, Sept. 7.

YOU were pleased in a late speculation to take no⚫tice of the inconvenience we lie under in the country, ⚫ in not being able to keep pace with the fashion: but ⚫ there is another misfortune which we are fubject to, and is no lefs grievous than the former, which has hitherto escaped your obfervation. I mean, the having things palmed upon us for London fafhions, which were never once heard of there.

A lady of this place had fome time fince a box of 'the newest ribbons fent down by the coach: whether it was her own malicious invention, or the wantonnefs of a London milliner, I am not able to inform you; but among the reft, there was one cherry-coloured ribbon, confifting of about half a dozen yards, inade up in the figure of a finall head-drefs. The aforefaid lady had the affurance to affirm, amidst a circle of female inquifitors, who were prefent at the opening of "the box, that this was the newest fashion worn at court. Accordingly the next Sunday we had feveral females, who came to church with their heads dreffed wholly ⚫ in ribbons, and looked like fo many victims ready to

⚫ be facrificed. This is ftill a reigning mode among us. At the fame time we have a fet of gentlemen who 'take the liberty to appear in all public places without any buttons to their coats, which they fupply with feveral little filver hafps, though our fresheft advices < from London make no mention of fuch fashion and we are fomething thy of affording matter to the button-makers for a fecond petition.

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any

What I would humbly propofe to the public is, that there may be a fociety erected in London, to confist of the moft skilful perfons of both fexes, for the "Infpection of modes and fashions" and that hereafter no perfon or perfons fhall prefume to appear fingularly habited in any part of the country, without a teftimonial from the aforefaid fociety, that their dress is • answerable to the mode at London. By this means, fir, we shall know a little whereabout we are.

If you could bring this matter to bear, you would very much oblige great numbers of your country. friends, and amongst the reft,

X.

Your very humble fervant,

JACK MODISH."

N° 176.

Friday, September 2r..

Parvula, pumilio, xagitar pía, tota merum fal.

LUCR. 1. 4. ver. 1155

A little, pretty, witty, charming fhe!

THERE are in the following letter, matters; which

I, a bachelor, cannot be fuppofed to be acquainted with; therefore fhall not pretend to explain upon it un-til farther confideration, but leave the author of the epiftle, to exprefs his condition his own way.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'I DO not deny but you appear in many of your papers to understand human life pretty well; but there are very many things which you cannot poffibly have a true notion of, in a fingle life; these are fuch as refpect the married ftate; otherwife I cannot account for your having overlooked a very good fort of people, which are commonly called in fcorn the Hen-peckt. You are to understand that I am one of those innocent 'mortals who fuffer derifion under that word, for being governed by the beft of wives. It would be worth your confideration to enter into the nature of affection ⚫ itself, and tell us, according to your philofophy, why it is that our dears fhould do what they will with us, fhall be froward, ill-natured, affuming, fometimes ⚫ whine, at others rail, then fwoon away, then come to life, have the ufe of fpeech to the greatest fluency ima ginable, and then fink away again, and all because they fear we do not love them enough; that is, the poor things love us fo heartily, that they cannot think it poffible we should be able to love them in fo great a degree, which makes them take on fo. I fay, fir, a true good-natured man, whom rakes and libertines call hen-peckt, fhall fall into all thefe different moods with his dear life, and at the fame time fee they are wholly put on; and yet not be hard-hearted enough to tell the dear good creature that she is an hypocrite. This fort of good men is very frequent in the populous and wealthy city of London, and is the true henpeckt man; the kind creature cannot break through his kindneffes fo far as to come to an explanation with the tender foul, and therefore goes on to comfort her when nothing ails her, to appease her when fhe is not angry, and to give her his cafh when he knows the ⚫ does not want it; rather than be uneafy for a whole month, which is computed by hard-hearted men the fpace of time which a froward woman takes to come to herself, if you have courage to ftand out.

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There are indeed feveral other fpecies of the henpeckt, and in my opinion they are certainly the beft, fubjects thequeen has; and for that reafon I take it to be your duty to keep us above contempt.

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my

I do not know whether I make myself understood in the reprefentation of an hen-peckt life, but I fhall take leave to give you an account of myfelf, and my own fpoufe. You are to know that I am reckoned no fool, 'have on feveral occafions been tried whether I will take ill-ufage, and the event has been to my advantage; and yet there is not fuch a flave in Turkey as I am to. dear. She has a good fhare of wit, and is what you call a very pretty agreeable woman. I perfectly dote on her, and my affection to her gives me all the anxieties imaginable but that of jealoufy. My being thus confident of her, I take, as much as I can judge of my heart, to be the reason, that whatever he does, though it be never fo much against my inclination, there is ftill left fomething in her manner that is amiable.. She will fometimes look at me with an affumed gran-deur, and pretend to refent that I have not had refpect, enough for her opinion in fuch an inftance in company.. I cannot but finile at the pretty anger he is in, and. ⚫ then the pretends fhe is ufed like a child. In a word,. our great debate is, which has the fuperiority in point. of understanding. She is eternally forming an argu⚫ment of debate; to which I very indolently anfwer, thou art mighty pretty. To this fhe anfwers, all the world but you think I have as much fenfe as yourself. 'I repeat to her, indeed you are pretty. Upon this there is no patience; fhe will throw down any thing about. her, ftamp and pull off her head-clothes. Fy, my dear, fay I; how can a woman of your fenfe fall into fuch an intemperate rage? This is an argument which never fails. Indeed, my dear, fays fhe, you make me mad fometimes, fo you do,, with the filly way you have of treating me like a pretty idiot.. Well, what have I got by putting her into good humour? Nothing, but that I must convince her of my good opinion by my practice; and then I am to give her poffeffion of my little ready-money, and, for a day and a half following, diflike all the diflikes, and extol every thing fhe ap-proves. I am so exquifitely fond of this darling, that I feldom fee any of my friends, am uneafy in all companies until I fee her again; and when I come homeThe is in the dumps becaufe fhe fays fhe is fure I came