SOLD ALSO BY AMYOT, RUE DE LA PAIX; TRUCHY, BOULEVARD DES ITALIENS; RUE NEUVE-SAINT-AUGUSTIN; AND BY ALL THE PRINCIPAL BOOKSELLERS ON THE CONTINENT. 1837. THE OLD COMMODORE. CHAPTER I. "For the bullets and the gout That he'll never more be fit for sea." OLD SONG. "Zounds!" "You have begun your history with an oath!" ejaculates the purist. "You have begun it with a vulgarism," lisps the young gentleman, who has a horror of being thought vulgar. And, alas! I myself confess that I have commenced it with a plagiarism. I am sorry, truly sorry, that, by this confession, I have forestalled the discovery with three-and-twenty critics, who were all gaping, open-mouthed, to charge me with the crime. 'Tis a vile plagiarism, certainly; for I must plead guilty to the knowledge of seven novels, be they of volumes more or less, three tales, two romances, thirteen plays, and one sermon, beginning precisely in the same manner to say nothing of its being an invidious piracy from the commonplaces of the day; for, does not every husband, when, conscious of much wine, he comes home late, and meets the scowling brow of the soother of his soul, and views the gathering remonstrance trembling on her lip, like a bee hanging with its sting in the rosebud,-does he not, I say, arrest it ere it fall, with the altisonant, Zounds! and, after this happy commencement of his chapter, has he not all the words and sentences that follow, his own way, as I intend to have in mine? And yet, I have a little to say in defence of this boisterous "Zounds!" I can assure the pietist that, notwithstanding its etymological derivation from the awful and right royal outbreak of "God's wounds," that it is not an oath : and, in the sense he will hereafter find it used, it is nothing more than a pain-relieving expletive, guilty of no more impiety than its more modest and querulous brothers, "Ah me!" "Alas!" and "Lack-a-daisy!" And I can assure the young gentleman with the gilt spurs, and mosaic gold chains, that, inflated as it is, it is by no means vulgar; for it was used, with astounding emphasis, by the first gentleman of the age, and the first sovereign of Europe, his late majesty, upon a dirty little boy, who, when in search of the twopenny post man, and stumbling upon royalty, in the Windsor uniform, and alone, had thrust a penny in the regal palm, with a crumpled letter. "Zounds!" said the possessor of the lives and fortunes of so many loyal Britons, "Zounds! boy, whom do you take me for?” There is not a more loyal man in his majesty's dominions than myself; so do not expect that I shall be guilty of lèse-majesté in recording the innocent and very ignorant answer. I have only related so much of the anecdote as is necessary to my purpose, to prove that the word, per se, is not vulgar. That, at the beginning of a book or chapter it is a plagiarism, I again acknowledge; but surely the readers of novels will pardon me-for I assure them, if they strain at this word, they will be precisely in the situation of Rabelais' giant, who could swallow, digest, and thrive upon windmills, yet was choked by endeavouring to bolt a pound of butter, near the mouth of a heated oven. Surely those who are in the habit of devouring, greedily, dished-up plagiarisms, in the shape of sentences, paragraphs, plots, and chapters, ought not to make wry mouths at a single pirated word. "Zounds!" This thunder-mocking word was ejected, almost at the loudest pitch of the human voice, in a large and lofty room of a splendid mansion, near Trestletree, in the county of Herts. This apartment had nothing to distinguish it from the generality of those of an estated English gentleman, at the close of the last century; with the exception that it contained many pictures, all relating to nautical matters, and the portraits of Howe, Duncan, Benbow, and most of the worthies who have built up the proud monument of England's naval glory. There was also, amongst the other furniture, and in a place of honour, a superb model of a ninety-eight, with a commodore's broad pendant attached to the main royal head, and several specimens of Indian weapons of war were resting in the corners of the room. Now, this apartment opened, by the means of a glass door, upon a carefully kept lawn, decorated with large and oval beds of roses; and the fragrance of many flowers from well-filled stands, containing vaše upon vase, made the air near the door balmy and odoriferous, and almost overcame the aroma of tobacco, that was too distinctly perceivable within. At the moment that the terrific interjection, with which I have commenced this veracious history, was launched forth, this apartment, the lawn drawing-room, as it was called, was occupied by four persons, with whom I wish my readers to be most familiarly acquainted. Let us retrospect for one single moment; for, after the explosion of the terrible word, all was confusion and disarray. Observe attentively that stout, broad-built old gentleman, with his back to the light; mark his high and bald forehead: the struc ture is ample and noble; but its pure and marble brightness is disfigured by a deep red seam, which, if you will trace it from the apex of his head to his left temple, you will find to terminate in a closely adhering black patch, that covers the socket where once had been the eye. But though the forehead, up to the crown, is bald, there is a profusion of wiry and iron-grey curling hair about the temples and the back of the head, which terminates in an immensely thick but not long queue, rather clumsily tied together with black ribbon. The features have once undoubtedly been particularly handsome; but they are now a good deal wrinkled, and discoloured with many tints, some of which, I confess with shame and sorrow, are the signs of, at least, occasional intemperance. His remaining eye is clear, black, large, and fierce, and the dark and S like eye-brow, which has been crooked out of its natural curve by many years of habitual frowning, and constantly peering through a spy-glass, gives that region of his face a look that we might almost call terrible. The mouth is large, with fine teeth; but the lower part of the face is decidedly sensual. At this moment, the expression of his countenance is not dignified, it is peevish, almost old-womanly, and shows indubitable signs of ill-health. But to continue with our description of this, to us, all-important personage. You perceive, now that he has moved rather restlessly on his chair, that he has lost his left hand, but that he has ingeniously supplied the deficiency by terminating his arm with a short and strong iron spike, which spike is furnished on one of its sides by a hook, also of iron, and on the other by a tobaccostopper, made either of bone or ivory, but it is so much used, and so dirty, it is impossible to say which. You will also find, when this gentleman stands up, that he is rather short for his breadth, yet is still a tall man. In his dress, excepting that it is rather carelessly put on, and seems totally unacquainted with the brush, he has nothing remarkable, unless a very thin and small stock of black silk round his neck might be thought so, at a time when gentlemen usually wore abundant cravats of well-starched white muslin. He is an invalid; for see, notwithstanding the heat of the day, it being but a little past noon, he has one of his feet cushioned, and swaddled with flannel, whilst a padded crutch reclines against the table, within his reach. He is evidently in an ill-humour, though there is an untouched decanter of Madeira wine before him, and a nearly emptied tumbler of cold strong rum-and-water, under his very nose. He is smoking a common clay pipe furiously, and every now and then ramming home the tobacco-ashes with the stopper on his spiked arm. This person is the Commodore: and, being nearly sixty, people are generally beginning to call him the Old Commodore." He is also the eldest male branch and the representative of his family, and one of the richest men in the county, and, had he chosen to have exerted those energies that he always |