THE RICHES, MULTITUDE, POWER, AND TRIUMPHS OF THE LOVINGKINDNESSES OF THE ETERNAL THREE IN GOD;

AS SEEN IN THE

LIFE AND EXPERIENCE OF THE "OLD PILGRIM."

(Continued from page 352.)

ONE day I was grieving because the Lord had cast me away from His presence that He did not now visit me with His sweet smiles, and the precious tokens of His love, as I thought I had been favoured in days gone by, unless I had been greatly deceived. Then I thought, "And have I been deceived in reckoning that to be of the Lord which was not of Him? Oh, if I had been guilty in this matter, then it is not to be wondered at that I should be a castaway." In the midst of these painful reflections, the following words came rolling into my thoughts: "How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? how shall I deliver thee, Israel? how shall I make thee as Admah? how shall I set thee as Zeboim? mine heart is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together. I will not execute the fierceness of mine anger, I will not return to destroy Ephraim: for I am God, and not man; the Holy One in the midst of thee."

In reply to this wonderfully-gracious statement, I said, "Lord, and is this the real truth of the case as to how matters stand between Thyself and my soul? Dost Thou not know how to go about the work of giving me up? Is it necessary for Thyself, who art infinite in wisdom, in making me as Admah, and setting me as Zeboim, to go to the creature for counsel? And who can this person be to whom Thou canst look for instruction? To appeal to me for counsel would be to account me something; whereas all nations before Thee, Lord, are as nothing, less than nothing, and vanity. Besides, I am now filled with fears, not that I shall be given up, but that I am already given up. But, looking again at the words, I am encouraged to say that this cannot be my case, because the Lord-in asking how He shall give me up, make me as the cities of Sodom, and set me to suffer the vengeance of eternal fire-plainly intimates that He does not know how to do this; therefore, it is not possible for Him to do that which He does not know how to do." Here, for a time, I felt a rock beneath my feet, and could sing :

"Unchangeable His will;
Whatever be my frame,
His loving heart is still
Eternally the same.

My soul through many changes goes;
His love no variation knows."

Many times have I been ashamed of my rebellion in scolding the people for pressing me to speak in the Lord's name. Poor things! their importunity was not to be wondered at, seeing there was no place for many miles round where the truth as it is in Jesus was proclaimed. One night, sitting alone, after the family was gone to bed, and lamenting the lonesomeness of my own condition, and the destitution of my dearest friends, I felt the stubbornness of my heart give way, and I said, Lord, I am ashamed before Thee. If the people should come again, and ask me to go and speak in Thy name, I will go; I cannot stand out any longer." Lifting up my head, and looking over the table, I saw the Lord Jesus standing before me. I did not want any one to tell who it was that

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was standing and looking upon me; I knew Him; He was His own Interpreter; and He looked upon me like one whose thoughts were occupied upon matters of infinite moment, and the words spoken were, "His right hand, and His holy arm, hath gotten Him the victory." I said, "Yes, Lord, Thy right hand and Thy holy arm have in truth gotten the victory. I must bow; I will submit. Thou hast gotten the victory. I will go; yes, I will go, and speak in Thy name, wheresoever and to whomsoever Thou shalt send me." From the above solemn manifestation, and the submission which I felt in my soul, I was led to think that now my path would be more smooth, my cup less bitter, and the Lord's dealings more congenial with my wishes; but sad disappointment stung me, day by day, which often made me say, "Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul ?" "Ah," I have said, "how easy it is, from the book, to talk about reigning with Jesus! but how painful it is, in soul and circumstances, to have fellowship with Him in His sufferings-not hearsay-fellowship, book-fellowship, thoughtfellowship; no! but wringing, heart-aching, and soul-melting fellowship. None ever have been, or can be, joint-heirs to reign with Jesus, only they who are joint-heirs to suffer with Him; all beside are excluded. "If children, then heirs, heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ, if so be that we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified together.' The grace and glory inheritance of all the redeemed by blood is jointly secured to them in and with Jesus. All hold, by one uniform title, 'the gift by grace;' and, what is still more wonderful, not only do all the redeemed hold by one and the same title, but they all hold by one and the same title that Christ, as the Christ of God, holds by; for the whole family named in heaven and earth are joint-heirs with Him. O glorious thought! Right and title here can never vary nor miscarry. Now, if Jesus, who is our Forerunner, was made perfect through suffering, and walked the rough road of tribulation to His glory inheritance-as Himself hath said, 'Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into His glory?'-how preposterous, then, for those who profess to be His brethren, and journeying to our joint possession, to expect a smoother path, and murmur when we find it otherwise!"

A dear friend telling me that a Baptist minister was going to preach upon a certain evening, in a large farmhouse, where I had many times spoken in the name of the Lord, we agreed to go and hear this new man. When the evening came round, we walked over to the village and mingled ourselves with the hearers. After reading and prayer, the preacher read his text, which was, "Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound; they shall walk, O Lord, in the light of Thy countenance." When the preacher had ended, a dear old farmer, the master of the house, came to me, and invited me to walk into the parlour; but I refused. "Ah," said the old man, 66 the minister has been telling us that when he entered the desk, and saw you sitting before him, he was so confounded and confused that he could not preach with liberty." I said, "You tell the preacher from me, that the Gospel, although to-night he has said it is a sound, is more than a sound; the Lord be praised, the Gospel is a substance to His own people; to all beside it is a mere sound."

As my friend and I were returning home, I inquired how he had fared. His reply was, "I cannot make it out; there is a something wanting, but what that something is I cannot explain. If you can explain it I should be glad." "Well, then, we will try to explain it. The preacher

had the letter of the word at command, so far as he went, but where was the ministry of the Third Person in the Godhead? Ah, we hear many making a boast of being Trinitarians; and so they are-if mentioning the name of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost is to be a Trinitarian. But, alas ! the distinct acts and works of each of the Divine Persons in salvation and providence are passed over. There may be a little said of the Father, and a little more, though very confused, of the Son; but the Holy Ghost in His every day's influential operations is ignored. Yet who can have access to the Father, but by the Spirit ?' Who can know the things given to us of God, but by the same Spirit? Whoever has been, or can be, 'builded together for an habitation of God,' but through the Spirit? Who can know Jesus and the things that are His, but by the Spirit? Indeed, the whole of salvation in revelation, manifestation, and application is by the Spirit. The anointing that was upon Christ, that constituted Him the Christ of God, was the Spirit. And the anointing that constitutes us Christians, or the seed of Christ, is the same glorious Person; not a something below or distinct from Himself, but Himself personally: as it is written, "This is my covenant, saith the Lord; My Spirit that is upon thee, and my words which I have put in thy mouth, shall not depart out of thy mouth, nor out of the mouth of Thy seed, nor out of the mouth of thy seed's seed, saith the Lord, from henceforth and for ever.' For all new applications of precious truth for new comfort-all new apprehensions of the Father and His boundless love; of Christ and His atoning blood, which in soul-experience must be daily carried on-we are wholly indebted to the Holy Ghost. God the Spirit does not do, as some intimate, give us a favourable start on our pilgrimage, and leave us to our own direction. Oh, no, He conducts all through, for 'It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps;' no more than it is in the regenerate man, who in soul is made spiritually alive, to keep alive his own soul. The only soul-cheering confidence which the great apostle had in relation to all the redeemed was, 'That He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.'" "Ah," my friend said, "this in-work and In-workman is ignored, and this I see is the great thing which is lacking, not only in this man's ministry, but of the greater bulk of the preachers of the present day, but they do not believe this. No, friend, no! The Holy Ghost has not been so kind to them, as to be the Spirit of faith in them; for, if He were, then that good work would be begun in them that shall be brought into the sweet, full, and endless blaze of the day of Jesus Christ."

One day, when my heart was overflowing with rebellion, I withdrew from the company of men, and wandered into the fields, that I might there give full scope to my desperate dispute with the Lord. In my seclusion I began to count over heaps of men that I knew, ungodly men, who prospered in the world, and had everything their hearts could wish, while I, who feared the Lord, and strove in all things to honour Him before men, was crossed and straitened day and night. I said, "Is this Thy way, O Lord, in dealing with men? Giving to them who despise Thee and Thy government in abundance, while I, who stand in awe of Thy name, am shut out from the common necessaries of life ?" So ignorant was I at that time and in those things, that I could not see how the Lord could be acquitted from the charge of being a Respecter of persons. Oh, how true I found Solomon's statement, "The foolishness of man perverteth his way, and his heart fretteth against the Lord."

While in this distracted frame of mind, fuming against the Lord, thinking, on the one hand, how hardly He was dealing with me, and then, on the other hand, that my spot was not the spot of His children, the words came to me, "The tabernacles of robbers prosper, and they that provoke God are secure, into whose hand God bringeth abundantly." These words for a time put me to silence. When I returned home, my wife told me that a gentleman had sent, requesting me to go and see him as soon as possible. When I called upon this gentleman, he wished to know if it would suit me to accept a clerk's situation in his office. After a long consultation I accepted the offer, and entered upon the duties of my new situation that afternoon; and there I continued for many years, giving great satisfaction to my employers, but not to myself, for a solicitor's office and a tender conscience are unsuitable colleagues.

About this time, those in the neighbourhood who loved the doctrines of grace sent me an invitation to go the following Lord's-day and preach one sermon to them. I went as requested, and found the room filled with people. The portion which I dwelt upon was, "For the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon Him." Several of the people who had heard confessed themselves much profited, and pressed me to go and speak to them on the following Lord's-day. As I returned home, I thought I would go only once more, because, for aught I knew, the people in the end may turn round upon me, hate, despise, and speak evil of me, as a reward for my labour of love.

When the following Sabbath came round, I went and preached upon that Scripture, "Who can make that straight which He hath made crooked? When I had ended, the unanimous request of the people was, that I should continue to labour statedly among them in word and doctrine; and, such was their importunity, backed by an acknowledgment of the profit which they had derived, that I had no power to resist; therefore I engaged to accept their invitation, and continue, during the Lord's pleasure, to preach among them "the unsearchable riches of Christ."

After having accepted the oversight of this flock, for many weary months I was in my soul painfully exercised, because my work in the office was altogether new to me; and, fearing I should not give that satisfaction to my employer which for the honour of truth it was my desire to give him, oftentimes on the Lord's-day my thoughts would be so intently engaged in my office work, that I was more fit to take my stand in a law court among special pleaders, who, for the benefit of their clients, labour hard to make black appear white, rather than in a pulpit, "preaching peace by Jesus Christ." Worldly thoughts, like importunate and unwelcome intruders, would follow me into the pulpit to distress and distract my mind; nor was it in my power to shut them out. But the Lord, in tender compassion, had given me an interest in the goodwill of my employer, so that I suffered only from my own fearful foreboding and unbelieving heart.

About this time my dear wife was taken dangerously ill, and continued to become weaker and weaker, until she was dismissed from her cottage of clay to enter into the joy of Him who loved her, and gave Himself for her, an offering and a sacrifice to God, for a sweet-smelling savour, or a savour of rest."

On the Lord's-day that my dear wife died, when I was walking to our usual place of worship, the words came to me with great power, "So I spake unto the people in the morning, and at even my wife died." No sooner

had the words been spoken in my heart, then I felt convinced that the dear sufferer at home would not live to see the light of the morrow. As quickly as possible I closed the morning service and hastened home; but, alas! the dear dying one could only look upon me, but could not speak; the motion of her finger, the upward looking and the smile, which beamed upon her countenance as she passed away, bore witness that she was going to join at home the general assembly and Church of the Firstborn. On the following day, having to engross a mortgage deed, I made several blunders which displeased one of my employers, and he inquired how it was; this inquiry made my heart swell with grief, and the big tears to flow, but I could not speak; he, seeing this, turned to another clerk, who told him of my wife's death, leaving me with six small children. When he heard this, he opened his purse, and laid upon the desk a large sum of money, saying, at the same time, "I thought there must be something the matter; therefore take that money and bury her."

After meeting together some months for worship, our rooms, though large, were found to be too small to accommodate the many which thronged to hear. And, being grieved to see so many aged people, for want of room, obliged to stand through the services, I began to pray, and secretly to wish the Lord would give us a larger place to meet in, but I was afraid to divulge to any one that which was pressing upon my mind; indeed, I many times thought it was foolish to expect, or even to think upon, such a thing. One Lord's-day morning, when I came near to our assembly-room, I saw several men congregated together, and they appeared to be conversing upon a subject that was secret and important, because they refused to tell me what it was. In a few days after this I was told that the subject which the friends had been discusssing related to a larger room for meeting in. When the friends had opened their minds to each other they found the same thing which had been impressed upon my mind had been impressed upon theirs, though none had ventured to mention it until that Sabbath morning; but, when the thing was broached, like water which for a time had been pent up, when it found vent, swept before it all impediments.

We wondered much at the harmony of our views respecting the building, also that it should so long have been determined upon by so many, and yet to have been concealed. David had it in his heart to build a house for the Lord, and the Holy Ghost said it was well that was in his his heart; but he was not permitted to build that house. But we were not only honoured with doing well, in having it in our hearts to build, but we were appointed to build the house; and the Lord has, in the aboundings of His grace, made it His own house by love-visits and powerful revelations of Himself in infinite mercy.

When we first began to build our new house, I purposed to ask what is commonly called the "religious public" to assist us; and this we did in two, and only two, instances. A Baptist congregation near to us had taken down their old pulpit, and erected a more costly one; and we applied to the deacons for the gift of this old pulpit, and it was given to us; but, when we sent to the treasurer, who was a carpenter, in whose shop the pulpit was lying, he demanded a sum of money as rent for its standing before he would let it be taken off his premises; and we paid him his demand. We then thought, if we made a second application in another quarter, we might fare better; therefore we applied to a congregation of Independents for the gift of an old chandelier that had been