And should He not his ardor check,
My Ned, perhaps, may break his neck;
And then, in that impoverish'd state,
Say, what would be your widow's fate ?—
I know it well,—I act no part :-
Your Widow then would break her heart.
Is 't not enough that, o'er the grave
Of him I lov'd my grief must rave;
But I, to aggravate my cares,
Must be dependent on his Heirs!
They hate me now,-illiberal men!
Nor can I think they'd love me then.
'Squire Freeman's Relict must not live
On any thing they chuse to give.
-The tears now flow'd, and honest Ned
Pinch'd her plump cheek, and kindly said,
Weep not yet, Girl, I am not dead:
And, if we live another day,
The Mail shall bear us on our way,
With rapid haste, to London town,
Where all you wish for shall be done.
To prove how much I love my wife,
By Jingo, I'll insure my Life;
And if kind Fate is pleas'd to give
Ned Freeman but ten days to live ;—
Then, if he dies ;-why, I'll be bound
You shall be worth ten thousand pound.
At length arriv'd,-with spirits light
From the refreshments of the night,
The parties leave the Two-neck'd Swan,
Or for the GLOBE, or PELICAN,
When they explain, with all due care,
The object of their errand there.
The Doctor's call'd-his eye to throw On the good 'Squire from top to toe. The sage Director stands beside
In dictatorial pomp and pride,
Th' important Scrutiny to guide. -Doctor, you'll now be pleas'd to
The features of that Gentleman;
And tell us, whether that round paunch Has been nurs'd up by ham and haunch : Say, if that vast protuberance
Comes from ill habits, or from chance. Think you that crimson glow is health, Or form'd by drink, or made by stealth. Those legs, which now appear so stout, Have they been tickled by the Gout?—
-And, Doctor, for your private ear,
Does not this Country 'Squire appear
Older, at least, by half a year
Than what he has been pleased to state?
–May we trust the Certificate ?—
To this the Doctor sage agreed :—
The Office then was duly feed;
And sign'd and seal'd each formal deed.
Now Death, who sometimes loves to wait
At an Insurance Office gate,
To baffle the Accountant's skill
And mock the calculating quill,
Had just prepar'd his cunning dart
To pierce Ned Freeman's tranquil heart :-
But lest the stroke should cause dispute,
And Lawyers conjure up a Suit,
Death was determined to delay
Ned's exit to a future day;
And the dull moment to amuse,
He turn'd-and kill'd a pair of Jews.
Thus was the Husband's life insured, And the Wife's future wealth secur'd. Then to their Inn they went to dine: And while the 'Squire enjoy'd his wine, Madam, thus thought she might impart
The secret wishes of her heart.
-Now, my dear Ned, as we're in Town,
And all this happy bus'ness done,
We may as well a fortnight stay;
Go to Vauxhall-and see a Play;
With every sight which now occurs:
The Grand Illustrious Visitors,
Princes, and Cossacs, and Lord Mayors,
And flaming Fire-works, and Fairs;
With all the noble, splendid train,
Which London may ne'er see again.
It will, no doubt, respect command
To've had an Emperor by the hand.
How great the boast, 'mong country folk,
To say we've seen old Blucher smoke.
How, at my head they'll stare, when on it
They see an Oldenburghian Bonnet.
-Hunting, you know, has long been done,
And Harvest is not yet begun :
Let us the interval employ
These recreations to enjoy.
'Squire Freeman, with his heart at ease,
Happy and proud his wife to please,
To grant her ev'ry wish consented,
And smil'd to see her so contented.
But DEATH had not forgot his Fiat-
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