Sivut kuvina
PDF
ePub
[graphic]

"Not a relative but myself."

"You are heir to both?"

"Acknowledged heir; and neither can live over a few months."

"Ah!" cried the lover, in an ecstasy, "you are an angel-my own loved one!" And he covered her hand with kisses.

"This sort of thing," said my host to me, "is not usual nowadays. That young man is evidently a romantic creature, like the lovers of old times, of whom we read. Generally speaking, all marriages are now arranged by the secretary of that department. Marrying men enter their names in his registers, and fathers inscribe their daughters, with their prospects, in a book which is kept for the purpose. It usually happens that the secretary can suit an applicant at once; but the law obliges him to advertise parties on hand and unclaimed once a week. Here," he added, drawing a piece of newspaper from his pocket, "are last week's advertisements. If you want to marry, you can choose."

I glanced over the list. Some were pictorial. One was a hideous man, without legs, with the simple words beneath, "Worth three millions!" Another was from a father. It ran as follows:

"A father of a family desires to dispose of four daughters, in consequence of his removal to a smaller house. One is dark, one fair, one red-haired, one doubtful. Each will receive on her marriage the sum of $60,000. No one need apply unless he has been vaccinated."

Here was one from the lady herself:

"A widow, who has been a blessing to five husbands, would like to make a sixth happy. Her fortune consists of a good figure and a warm heart. Apply, post-paid, to E. L., care of the secretary."

MR. AND MRS. CORNOSCO.

CHAIR WOMAN OF THE COMMITTEE ON ABUSES.

I inquired how experience justified this business-like system.

My friend assured me that nothing had ever been known like it. Every one was happy now, for the feelings being abolished, the source of jealousies and quarrels was wholly removed. Even parties between whom nature seemed to have set an impassable gulf were, under the existing plan, happy and contented spouses. There was Cornosco, for instance, who had made a fortune by exhibiting himself, and then married Tivicini's daughter, the prettiest girl in her quarter; there never were such a pair of turtle-doves.

"Some ladies," he added, "from reasons of their own, refused to marry. The State had provided for them. They constituted the social committee-a standing body appointed by government to ferret abuses. It was found that they could discover twice as many mischiefs and wrongs in the same space of time as a male committee; and their reports were so long that no one ever ventured to reply to them, whereby the reforms they recommended were certain to be accomplished. Their present chairwoman," my host added, Iwas a woman of vast accomplishment, who had been chosen in consequence of her great speech on the art of winking-a discourse which lasted thirty-one hours, and caused the death of the sergeant-at-arms."

[graphic]
[ocr errors]

This was enough. I turned to my host and inquired whether I could see the remainder of the newspaper from which this piece was taken. "Oh! certainly."

And he touched a spring, on which a queerlooking mechanism slid along the wall until it

LIBERTY, EQUALITY, AND FRATERNITY.

I noticed, in fact, that an article, apparently several hundred columns in length, was published in the journal before me. It was entitled "American Antiquities," by Cain, late Professor of the Liberia College. I glanced at a paragraph or two.

"The nineteenth century," so ran the Professor's work, "was undoubtedly the golden age of ancient literature. The immortal work of Barnum, which was so popular in his own day that his publisher was

[graphic]

reached our level. It appeared to be com- crushed to death by the crowds who sought posed of an infinite number of rollers, round to buy it, and those of Arthur Pendennis, which a band of printed paper revolved incessantly, like the strips used in the old Morse telegraph.

"This is the great newspaper," said my friend. "It's name, as you perceive, is the Everlasting World."

"A daily, I presume?"

"Pardon me, it never ceases to appear. is printed by a peculiar press on endless bands of paper, which are wound on rollers, and penetrate into the house of every subscriber. It is adapted to every taste, and in politics devotes a page or two to each separate party. In this way, you have only to look at the head of the column to perceive the articles which are intended for you. The rest you neglect; you can do so with the less regret, as the World prints exactly three miles of reading matter every twenty-four hours."

would alone prove this; not to speak of other famous illustrations of the period, such as the great negro writer, Uncle Tom, Esquire, and the sweet poet Ticknor, whose lines, 'Speak! speak! thou fearful guest,' are in every one's memory. If our colleague Coppernose be correct in assigning the Harpers to this period, It they would, of course, stand far in advance of their contemporaries. Nothing like the learning of this wonderful family has ever been witnessed in our day. Theology, philosophy, belles lettres, travels, law, fixed sciences, poetrynothing was beyond the reach of their universal genius. It is estimated that if a man were to read sixteen hours a day for one hundred years-a feat not likely to be accomplished by idlers-he could not get through one-half the works of this industrious family. We are well aware that the learned Doctor Rumdum, of Iceland, has suggested that the works which bear their name were not really composed by them; but that, as it was a well-known practice in the nineteenth century to read new works to public assemblies to the sound of the harp, the presence of the word Harpers on the title-page merely means that these works were so read, or perhaps was a notice to the harpers to strike up. We have every respect for so high an authority as Rumdum; but really there is a family resemblance about the Harpers' works which can not be mistaken. We would as soon think of doubting that the venerable sage Shelton Mackenzie was not the author of that curious collection of whimsicalities to which he gave the appropriate name of Noctes Ambrosianæ, by Christopher North."

I inquired if party spirit ran high at Peerless. "No, no," answered my host, "people never quarrel nowadays, I may say, since the law which passed some years ago, based on that famous old adage of your great jurisconsult, Justinian Blackstone Story, "There are wrongs on both sides.' When two men quarrel both are seized, and condemned to lose a limb; they have the right of choosing which. In this way we have realized the dream of universal liberty, equality, and fraternity."

"I should think," said I, turning again to the newspaper, "there would be some difficulty in providing manuscript for so voracious a machine."

"On the contrary, the editor tells me he does not know what to do for space, and the proprietors talk of enlarging the paper. In the first place, you have heard, perhaps, that the old plan of book-publishing has been abandoned, and that all books now appear in the newspapers. They absorb a great deal of room, as you see."

This was enough. I turned to my companion, who held the newspaper still.

"Besides literature," said he, "the telegraphic correspondence from all parts of the world often occupies over a mile of paper. You notice, likewise, that it is illustrated.

That is also done by telegraph; or rather, a ornaments which, I was told, were likewise small very pretty compound of the photograph and models of other inventions made by members telegraph, by which a scene occurring ten of her family. One was a new lid for saucethousand miles off can be instantaneously pans; another, a boot which laced itself, etc. transferred to paper here. This, for in- These, as Mr. Cistern explained to me, were stance, is a sketch of the commotion created worn as armorial bearings; the only nobility yesterday at the north pole by the news that recognized by that enlightened age being affinProfessor Brown had succeeded in attracting ity to genius. Round her neck was a chain, the new comet by electricity, and was sanguine to which was suspended a medal bearing the of connecting it with the earth, and so doubling words-"Two millions of dowry settled on the velocity of this planet." myself."

"By-the-way," said Cistern, "my telegraph from Philadelphia announces that my pre-emption title to those lots in the comet has been sold at forty premium. A good operation; I clear ninety thousand."

"You don't say so," replied my host. "Well, I'll hold my lots. Professor Sitzen assures me that I have a gold mine on them. He says he discovered undoubted indications with his telescope."

"Very possibly," rejoined the fast man; "but my uncle is shaky, and I want to effect a new life-policy on the old man."

[merged small][ocr errors][merged small]

"You made rather a good thing out of your nine." aunt, didn't you?"

"No, no, nothing to speak of; a hundred thousand in round numbers. The fact is, I'm an unlucky dog. I've taken every precaution -insured every member of the family from my uncle downward; but somehow, none of them will oblige me by dying."

At this moment the lady of the house entered. She was dressed à la bergère; except that on her head she wore a peculiar sort of crown, which I understood afterward was a model of a machine for making horn buttons, invented by her father. On her arms she wore

A LADY OF FASHION A.D. 3000.

"Why," said I, quite angry this time, "you seem to have gone back to the old curfew system."

"Best thing in the world, my dear fellow! 'Early to bed, and early to rise'-'twas an ancient said so; and the state statisticians assure us that life is prolonged three years and a quarter, on the average, by going to bed at nine.

"Suppose," said I, "that I refuse to go?"

"Ha! ha!" laughed my friend. "You're a funny fellow! a very funny fellow! Cistern, how long is it since poor Chang Smith took it into his head to disobey the law ?"

"How should I know? In the time of my grandfather, I believe."

"He was the last of the old school of felons. He insisted, as you seem to want to do, on sitting up after nine. The Court sentenced him to sit up till twelve every night for a year. It nearly killed him. Human nature can not stand solitude or eccentricity. Come, let me show you the way."

He led me to a room exquisitely furnished. On touching a spring a bed sprang out of the wall; pegs protruded themselves forward to receive my clothes, and the moment I had taken off my coat an automaton brush began to dust it with exquisite dexterity. As my host left the room and wished me 'Good-night!' he said, laughingly,

"No sleepless nights here. Be quick, for in ten minutes this pastil will plunge you into a slumber from which an enchanter could not wake you."

And as I lay down on a deliciously soft couch, I felt a drowsy sensation creep over me. I struggled against it; but my eyelids closed in spite of myself, my muscles relaxed, and it seemed in less than a minute I was in a deep sleep.

[graphic]
[graphic][merged small]

VIRGINIA ILLUSTRATED. ADVENTURES OF PORTE CRAYON AND HIS COUSINS. Fourth Paper.

"Perlege Mæonio cantatas carmine ranas,

ern portion the Shenandoah pursues its regular and orderly course along the base of the Ridge, while, farther south, the upper James, the Staunton, and New rivers wind in tortuous channels Et frontem nugis solvere disce meis."-MARTIAL. across the Valley, cutting sheer through the THE THERE is perhaps no fairer land beneath the mountain barriers east and west, and flowing in sun than that section of Virginia called the opposite directions toward their respective reGreat Valley. Bounded by the North Mount-ceivers. Leaving to the geographer and politain on the northwest, and the Blue Ridge on the ical economist the task of setting forth the southeast, it extends across the State from the agricultural and mineral resources of this hapPotomac to the southern line, nearly two hun-py region, its healthful and invigorating atmosdred and fifty miles in length, and varying from phere, its abundance even to superfluity in all twenty to forty in breadth. Through its north- the good things that make it a desirable resi

base. But every thing in the world is estimated by comparison, and the good people from the lower country, in the early times, doubtless viewed this modest ridge with mingled awe and wonder.

It may also afford some entertainment to the Western Virginian to receive the following interesting piece of information from a book, pleasantly entitled "Modern History; or, the

dence for man, we turn, with the instincts of painter and poet, from advantages more strictly utilitarian, to rejoice in the matchless gift of beauty with which Heaven has endowed this "delicious land"-not the evanescent bloom of flowering savannas, nor the wild but chilling grandeur of Alpine rocks and snows. This is a picture-soft and luxuriant, yet enduring as the everlasting hills-of rolling plains and rich woodlands, watered by crystal streams, enrich-present State of all Nations," printed at Dublin in ed with rare and curious gems wrought by the plastic hand of Nature, as if in wanton sport, sparkling waterfalls, fairy caverns, the unique and wondrous Bridge, all superbly set in an azure frame of mountains, beautiful always, and sometimes rising to sublimity.

The first authentic account we have of the discovery of this valley is from an expedition which crossed the Ridge in 1710, planned and commanded by Alexander Spottswood, then Governor of the Colony of Virginia. In noticing this event, Burke the historian says, "An opinion had long prevailed that these mountains presented an everlasting barrier to the ambition of the whites. Their great height, their prodigious extent, their rugged and horrid appearance, suggested to the imagination undefined images of terror. The wolf, the bear, the panther, and the Indian were the tenants of these forlorn and inaccessible precipices."

To one familiar with mountain scenery these sounding phrases seem like gross exaggeration when applied to the wooded and gentle slopes of the Blue Ridge, which seldom rises beyond a thousand or twelve hundred feet above its

1739: "There are no mountains in Virginia, unless we take in the Apalachian mountains, which separate it from Florida." This, too, in a volume published twenty-nine years after Spottswood's expedition, and several years after actual settlements had been made in the Valley.

As early as 1732 adventurous emigrants from New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania had made their way to the newly-explored region; and during the reign of James the Second the Valley settlements received considerable accessions from the north of Ireland.

Thus the Scotch-Irish and German elements form the basis of the Valley population, and the manners and characteristics of the people, although modified by the connection and intermixture with the lower country, still very much resemble those of the Middle States.

In following our travelers on their interesting tour, we have traversed consecutively the counties of Berkeley, Frederick, Warren, Shenandoah, Rockingham, and Augusta. Thence passing the North Mountain boundary at Jennings's Gap, we have visited Bath, Alleghany,

[graphic][merged small]
« EdellinenJatka »