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that's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say,— What's this ?' How do you now?
Doll. Better than I was. Hem !
Host. Why, that's well said ; a good heart's worth gold. Look, here comes sir John.
Enter FALSTAFF, singing. Fal. · When Arthur first in court'-Empty the jorden. And was a worthy king.' (Exit Drawer.] How now, mistress Doll ?
Host. Sick of a calm : yea, good sooth.
Fal. So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm, they are sick.
Doll. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me?
Fal. You make fat rascals, mistress Doll.
Doll. I make them ? gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.
Fal. If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll; we catch of you : grant that, my poor virtue,
Doll. Ay, marry; our chains and our jewels.
Fal. “Your brooches, pearls, and owches :'-for to serve bravely, is to come halting off, you know : to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the charged chambers bravely ;
Doll. Hang yourself, you muddy conger; hang yourself.
Host. By my troth, this is the old fashion ; you two never meet, but you fall to some discord : you are both, in good troth, as rheumatic 1 as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the good year! one must bear, and that must be you: [to Doll.] you are the weaker vessel, as they say; the emptier vessel.
Doll. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? There's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack : thou art going to the wars; and whether I shall ever see thee again, or no, there is nobody cares.
Draw. Sir, ancient ? Pistol 's below, and would speak with you.
Doll. Hang him, swaggering rascal ! let him not come hither : it is the foul-mouthedst rogue in England.
Host. If he swagger, let him not come here : no, by my faith ; I must live amongst my neighbors ; I'll no swaggerers: I am in good name and fame with the very best. Shut the door;—there comes no swaggerers here! I have not lived all this while, to have swaggering now: shut the door, I pray you.
: Capricious, humorsome.
Fal. Dost thou hear, hostess ?
Host. Pray you, pacify yourself, sir John; there comes no swaggerers here.
Fal. Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient.
Host. Tilly-fally, sir John, never tell me; your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before master Tisick, the deputy, the other day; and, as he said to me,- it was no longer ago than Wednesday last, — Neighbor Quickly,' says he :master Dumb, our minister, was by then :- - Neighbor Quickly,' says he, 'receive those that are civil; for,' saith he, 'you are in an ill name;'—now he said so, I can tell whereupon; ‘for,' says he, ‘you are an honest woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what guests you receive. Receive,' says he, ‘no swaggering companions. There comes none here ;—you would bless you to hear what he said :
:- no, I'll no swaggerers. Fal. He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater,1 he; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound: he will not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance. Call him up, drawer.
Host. Cheater call you him? I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater : but I do not love swaggering; by my troth, I am the worse, when one says—swagger: feel, masters, how I shake; look you, I warrant you.
Doll. So you do, hostess.
Host. Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an aspen leaf : I cannot abide swaggerers.
Enter PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and PAGE.
Pis. Save you, sir John!
Fal. Welcome, ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack : do you discharge upon mine hostess.
Pis. I will discharge upon her, sir John, with two bullets.
Fal. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her.
Host. Come, I'll drink no proofs, nor no bullets ; I'll drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I.
Pis. Then to you, mistress Dorothy; I will charge you.
Doll. Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion! What! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for
your master. Pis. I know you, mistress Dorothy.
Doll. Away, you cutpurse rascal! you filthy bung, away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle 1 with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you baskethilt stale juggler, you !-Since when, I pray you,
sir ?-What, with two points on your shoulder ? 1 much!
Pis. I will murder your ruff for this.
Fal. No more, Pistol ; I would not have you go off here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.
Host. No, good captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain.
Doll. Captain ! thou abominable damned cheater, art thou not ashamed to be called captain ? If captains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking their names upon you before you have earned them. You a captain, you slave! for what? for tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdyhouse ?-He a captain ? Hang him, rogue! He lives upon mouldy stewed prunes, and dried cakes. A captain! these villains will make the word captain as odious as the word occupy; which was an excellent good word before it was ill sorted: therefore captains had need look to it.
Bar. Pray thee, go down, good ancient.
Pis. Not I: tell thee what, corporal Bardolph ;I could tear her: I'll be revenged on her.
Page. Pray thee, go down.
Pis. I 'll see her damned first ;-to Pluto's damned lake, to the infernal deep, with Erebus and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. Down!
1 As marks of his commission.