on a new pupil. It also looks very well to stop and loiter at every object you pass, like a printer's errand-boy, who is sent with a proof-sheet to an impatient author.

I would particularly recommend to all dashing young men to assume a contemptuous look, if an old acquaintance in adversity should pass, especially if he is a little shabby in his appearance: this shows humanity, generosity, good sense, and discrimination.

To gape into a dining-room, or parlour, where a company is assembled, as you pass along the streets, is presumptive evidence of your politeness.

If you meet a fine woman, instantly turn your eye-glass full in her face. The reason is obvious. If modest, you will throw her into the utmost confusion, which heightens her charms.

Bloods ought to dress strictly in their mode, viz. a black, shag, crop, round hat, turned over the left eye; whiskers from the tip of the ear to the corner of the mouth; a large belcher handkerchief, in lieu of a muslin cravat; or a black silk handkerchief may be used occasionally; a great-coat with sixty-six capes, leather breeches, and back-strap boots.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR HAIR-DRESSERS, PERFUMERS, AND ALL OTHERS WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.

Ir may, perhaps be thought injudicious in me, to begin with professions that seem to have exhausted the art I propose to teach. But I take their beaten track, in order to give a more striking exhibition of my skill, and to prove that I am capable of creating novelty, where it may naturally enough be considered as next to impossible that any novelty could be produced.

I shall begin, therefore, by supposing a well-instructed fashionable hair-dresser, &c. to have boiled up, clarified, and scented a large quantity of unguent, composed of mutton suet and chicken's grease, with a small infusion of tar; and that it appears upon the shelves of his shop in pots of an elegant form, covered with pink or pea-green paper, and adorned with a copper-plate label, supported by Cupids, with the following inscription in variegated letters:-Louis Pomade's Capillary Crescive. These materials being ready for sale, the proprietor must announce it to the public, in all the fashionable newspapers, by an advertisement of this description:-

ALL FALSE HAIR AT AN END.

"WHEREAS it is a very great and lamentable disgrace to the fair and lovely part of the creation, heaven's last, best work, that they should be so frequently obliged to wear wigs; while the gentlemen so very generally wear their own hair: Louis Pomade begs leave to acquaint all ladies of fashion, as well as fashionable gentlemen, whom any accident or illness may have obliged to have recourse to the peruke-maker for an imitative covering of hair for that noble and capital part of the human frame, called the head, that he is the sole inventor, manufacturer, and proprietor of a pomatum called the Capillary Crescive, which causes such an amazing increase of vegetation in the human hair, that, in future, every lady or gentleman, though reduced to an absolute state of Calvinism, may be assured of possessing, in a very short time, a sufficient quantity of hair for all the purposes of fashionable head-dress. It is equally useful for the eyebrows, &c. &c."

When this advertisement, strengthened by a diffusive circulation of hand-bills, has sufficiently proclaimed this Capillary Panacea, the proprietor must proceed to inform the public of some indisputable examples of its astonishing operations. This will be best done by the puff narrative, which may be to the following purpose:

"ON Thursday last, as a young lady was crossing the upper part of Berkeley-square, a rude gust of wind took the liberty of bearing away her bonnet, and left her an object of much unseemly mirth to the vulgar passengers. The laugh, however, of the beholders was very soon converted into the utmost astonishment, when they beheld her tresses, which the loosened ribbon could no longer contain, fall down in a graceful flow almost to her knees. The uncommon length, beauty, and thickness of the lady's hair gathered such an immediate crowd about her, that she was obliged to take refuge in an adjoining shop, from the troublesome curiosity of the beholders: and though the footman who followed her, almost immediately recovered her head-dress, it was some time before the patience of the crowd was exhausted, who waited to see the long-haired lady make her re-appearance."

The foregoing paragraph must be inserted successively in all the morning, and some of the evening papers, and may be immediately succeeded by the following puff intelligent.

"It is proper to inform the public, that the lady whose enormous head of hair occasioned so much curiosity, in Berkeleysquare, a few days since, and has created no small conversation among the fashionable circles, was, within these eighteen months, without a hair on her head, having been obliged to be shaved, in consequence of a delirious fever; and surely it ought to be known for the public benefit, that her present very extraordinary tresses have proceeded from the application of that astonishing pomatum, known by the title of Louis Pomade's Capillary Crescive."

When this essential intellgence is properly circulated, it may, after some interval, be followed up by the puff precautionary and puff inventive.

PRECAUTION AND PROOF.

"WHEREAS the waiting-woman of a lady of the first distinction, in consequence of her being daily employed in anointing her lady's hair, every day for about a month, with the Capillary Crescive, has found the palms of her hands to be covered with a thin pile, or hair; it is recommended to all persons applying this extraordinary unguent, to beware of using it without gloves. At the same time, Louis Pomade begs leave to inform the public, that, to remedy this inconvenience, he has invented a particular kind of skin, or bladder-glove, some hundred dozen pairs of which are now manufacturing, for the purpose of accommodating his customers, and preventing the very unpleasant incident that is here related; but which, at the same time, proves the uncommon crescent powers of his pomatum.”

The attention of the public may also be renewed by the following puff historical.

"The celebrated Capillary Crescive is not the invention of its present proprietor, Louis Pomade, as he pretends, it being well known that he received it from a very learned physician and profound chemist, as a reward for having saved his life, when the doctor was attacked by robbers, within a few leagues of Basle, in Switzerland.”

A few illustrative paragraphs may, from time to time, grace the columns of a morning paper to good effect; and I will venture to assert, that a pomatum composed, as may be easily done, to do no harm, and to be capable of some good, when recommended according to this system, will advance the fortune of any Louis Pomade, or, mutatis mutandis, any other ingenious artist, who has the good sense to adopt, and the spirit to prosecute, such a plan as that which has been proposed.

SELECTED POETRY.

WE shall enrich this article of our miscellany with some beautiful quotations from Psyche, or the Legend of Love, by Mrs. Tighe. This poem, though originally published in 1805, has not obtained that currency amongst us, which its merit abundantly claims, and we therefore are gratified in perceiving that an edition is about to appear from the Philadelphia press.' At some future period we may perhaps give a more detailed notice of this interesting production; but at present we have room only for the following extracts, which will no doubt be a sufficient attraction to a perusal of the entire poem:

The description of the voyage of Psyche, carried by zephyrs from the desert rock to the island of Pleasure, is wrought with unusual vigour of imagination:

When lo! a gentle breeze began to rise,

Breathed by obedient zephyrs round the maid,
Fanning her bosom with its softest sighs
Awhile among her fluttering robes it strayed,
And boldly sportive latent charms displayed:
And then, as Cupid willed, with tenderest care,
From the tall rock, where weeping she was laid,
With gliding motion through the yielding air
To Pleasure's blooming isle their lovely charge they bear.
On the green bosom of the turf reclined,

They lightly now the astonished virgin lay,
To placid rest they sooth her troubled mind;
Around her still with watchful care they stay,
Around her still in quiet whispers play;

* Psyche, with other poems, by the late Mrs. Henry Tighe. Printed and sold by J. & A. Y. Humphreys, and Anthony Finley.

Till lulling slumbers bid her eyelids close,
Veiling with silky fringe each brilliant ray,
While soft tranquillity divinely flows

O'er all her soul serene, in visions of repose.

Refreshed she rose, and all enchanted gazed
On the rare beauties of the pleasant scene.
Conspicuous far a lofty palace blazed
Upon a sloping bank of softest green;
A fairer edifice was never seen;

The high ranged columns own no mortal hand,
But seem a temple meet for Beauty's queen.
Like polished snow the marble pillars stand
In grace attempered majesty sublimely grand.
Gently ascending from a silvery flood,
Above the palace rose the shaded hill,
The lofty eminence was crowned with wood,
And the rich lawns, adorned by Nature's skill,
The passing breezes with their odours fill;
Here ever-blooming groves of orange glow,

And here all flowers which from their leaves distil
Ambrosial dew in sweet succession blow,
And trees of matchless size a fragrant shade bestow.
The sun looks glorious mid a sky serene,
And bids bright lustre sparkle o'er the tide;
The clear blue ocean at a distance seen
Bounds the gay landscape on the western side,
While closing round it with majestic pride,
The lofty rocks mid citron groves arise;
"Sure some divinity must here reside,"

As tranced in some bright vision, Psyche cries,

And scarce believes the bliss, or trusts her charmed eyes.

Increasing wonder filled her ravished soul,

For now the pompous portals opened wide,
There, pausing oft, with timid foot she stole

Through halls high domed, enriched with sculptured pride,
While gay saloons appeared on either side,

In splendid vista opening to her sight;

And all with precious gems so beautified,

And furnished with such exquisite delight,

That scarce the beams of heaven emit such lustre bright.

The amethyst was there of violet hue,
And there the topaz shed its golden ray,