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Fal. And I hear moreovet, His Highness is fallen into this same whorson apoplexy.
Cb. Juft. Well, hear'n mend him ! I pray, let me speak
Fal. This apoplexy is, as I take it, à kind of lethargy, an't pleafe your Lordship, a kind of sleeping in the blood, a whorson tingling.
Cb. Juft. What tell you me of it? be it as it is.
Fal. It hath its original from much grief; from study and perturbation of the brain. I have read the cause of it in Galer. It is a kind of deafness.
Cb. Juft. I thing you are fall'n into that disease : for you hear not what I say to you.
FalVery well, my Lord, very well: rather, an't please you, it is the disease of not lift'ning, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal.
Ch. Fuft. To punish you by the heels, would ainend the attention of your ears; and I care not if I be your physician.
Fal. I am as poor as job, my Lord, but not so patient : your Lordihip may minifter the potion of imprisonment to me, in respect of poverty ; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or indeed, a scruple it self.
Cb. Juft. I sent for you, when there were matters against you for your life, to speak with me.
Fal. As I was then advis'd by my Counsel learned in the laws of this land- service, I did not come.
Cb. Juft. Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy.
Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, cannot live in less.
Ch. Juft. Your means are very sender, and your wafte great.
Fal. I would it were otherwife: I would my means were greater, and my waste Nenderer.
Cb. Juft. You have mis-led the youthful Prince.
Fal; The young Prince hath mis-led me. I am the fel. low with the great belly, and he my dog.
Cb. Juft. Well, I am loth to gall a new-heal'd wound; your day's service at Sbrewsbury hath a little gilded over
your night's exploit on Gads- bill. You may thank the un. quiet time, for your quiet o'er-posting that action.
Fal. My Lord ?
Ch. Juft. But since all is well, keep it fo : wake not a Neeping Wolf.
Fal. To wake a Wolf, is as bad as to smell a Fox.
Cb. Juft. What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out,
Fal. A waffel candle, my Lord; all tallow : but if I did say of wax, my growth would approve the truth.
Ch. Juft. There is not a white hair on your face, but should have his effect of gravity.
Fal. His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy.
Cb. Just. You follow the young Prince up and down, like his ill angel.
Fal. Not so, my Lord, your ill angel is light: but I hope he that looks upon me, will take me without weighing; and yet, in some respects I grant, I cannot go; — I can not tell ; Virtue is of so little regard in these coster-mongers days, that true valour is turned bear-herd. Pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath his quick wit wasted in giving recknings; all the other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are not worth a goose berry. You that are old, consider not the capacities of us that are young ; you measure the heat of our livers, with the bitterness of your galls; and we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confess are wags too.
Cb. Juft. Do you set down your name in the scrowl of youth, that are written down old, with all the characters of age ? have you not a moist eye? a dry hand ? a yellow cheek? a white beard ? a decreasing leg? an increasing belly ! is not your voice broken? your wind short ? your chin double? your wit fingle? and every part about you blafted with antiquity ? and will you yet call your self young ? fie, fie, fie, Sir John.
Fal. My Lord, I was born about three of the clock in the afternoon, with a white head, and something a round belly: For my voice, I have lost it with hallowing and finging of Anthems. To approve my youth further, I will not. The trụth is, I am only old in judgment and un
derstanding, and he that will caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the mony, and have at him. For the box o'th' ear that the Prince gave you, he gave it like a rude Prince, and you took it like a fenfible Lord.
I have checkt him for it, and the young Lion repents: marry, not in alhes and fack-cloth, but in new filk and old fack.
Cb. Juft. Well, heav'n send the Prince a better com. panion !
Fal. Heav'n send the companion a better Prince ! I cane not rid my hands of him.
Cb. Juft. Well, the King hath sever'd you and Prince Harry. I hear you are going with Lord John of Lan.' cafter, against the Archbishop and the Earl of Northum. berland.
Fal. Yes, I thank your pretty sweet wit for it; but look you pray, all you that kiss my Lady peace at home, that our armies join not in a hot day : for I take but two thirts out with and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily : if it be a hot day, if I brandish any thing but a bottle, would I might never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can peep out his head, but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last ever. - but it was always the trick of our English nation, if they have a good thing to make it too common. If you will needs say I am an old man, you shou'd give me rest: I would to God my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is! I were better to be eaten to death with a rust, than to be scour'd to nothing with perpetual motion.
Cb. Juf. Well, be honest, be honest, and heav'n bless your expedition !
Fal. Will your Lordship lend me a thousand pound, to furnish me forth?
Cb. Juft. Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impa. tient to bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend me to my cousin Westmorland.
[Exit. Fal. If I do, fillip me with a * three-man-beetle. A man can no more separate age and covetousness, than he can part young limbs and letchery : but the gout galls the
* Three-man-beelle, i. e. a rammer big enough to require three men to lift it.
one, and the pox pinches the other, and fo both the des grees prevent my curses. Boy!
Fal. I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse. Borrowing only lingers and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable. Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earl of Weftmor. land, and this to old. Mrs. Ursula, whom I have weekly fworn to marry since I perceiv'd the first white hair on my chin. About it ; you know where to find me. A pox of this gout! or a gout of this pox! for the one or th other plays the rogue with my great toe: ie, is no matter, if I do halt, I have the wars for my colour, and my pension shall seem the more reasonable: a good wit will make use of any tủing ; I will turn diseases to commodity. (Exeunt,
SCENE VI. Archbishop of York's Palace. Enter Archbisoop of York, Hastings, Thomas Mowbray
(Earl Marshal) and Lord Bardolph. Fórk. Thus have you heard our cause, and know our Now, my most noble friends, I pray you all, Speak plainly
your opinions of our hopes ; And first, Lord Marshal, what say you to it?
Mowh. I well allow th' occafion of our arms,
Haft. Our present musters grow upon the file
Bard. The question then, Lord Haflings, ftandeth thus ;
Kaft. With him we may.
But if without him we be thought too feeble,
York. 'Tis very true, Lord Bardolpb ; for indeed
Bard. It was, my Lord, who lin’d himself with hope,
Haft. But, by your leave, it never yet did hurt
Bard. Yes, if this present quality of war