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authors, I will balle sir Toby, I will wash off
Enter Maria. gross acquaintance, I will be poiut-de-vicc, the Sir And. Nur I neither. very man.
I do not nove fool myself, to let Fab. Here comes my noble gull-catcher. imagination jade me, for every reason excites to Sir To. Wilt thou set thy foot o'ıny neck? this, that my lady loves me. She did commend Sir And. Or o'ınine cither? my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg Sir To. Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip being cross-gartered ; and in this she manifests and become thy bond slave? herself to my love, and, with a kind of injunction, Sir And. I'faith, or I either. drives me to these habits of her liking. I thank Sir To. Why, thou hast put him in such a my stars, I am happy. I will be strange, stout, dream, that when the image of it leaves him, he in yellow stockings, and cross-gartered, even with must run mad. the swiftness of putting on. Jove, and my stars, Mar. Nay, but say true; does it work upop be praised !-Here is yet a postscript.
him? Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou en. Sir To. Like aqua-vitæ with a midwife. terlainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling; thy smiles Mar. If you will then see the fruits of the become thee well; therefore in my presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prythce.
sport, mark his first approach before my lady: he Jove, I thank thee.--I will snule; I will do will come to her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a every thing that thou wilt have mere
colour she abhors; and cross-gartered, a fashion
(erit. she detests; and he will smile upon her, which Fab. I will not give my part of this sport for will now be so unsuitable to her disposition, being a pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy. addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot
Sir To. I could marry this wench for this de- but turn him into a notable contempt: if you will vice.
see it, follow me. Sir And. So could I too.
Sir To. To the gates of Tartar, thou most exSir To. And ask no other dowry with her, cellent devil of wit! bit such another jest.
Sir And. I'll make one too.
[ereunt. ACT III. SCENE 1. OLIVIA'S GARDEN.
fully: she will keep no fool, sir, till she be mar. Enter Viola, and Clown with a tabor. riedand fools are as liko husbands, as pilchards Vio. Save thee, friend, and thy music: dost are to herrings, the husband's the bigger: I am, thou live by thy tabor ?
indeed, not her fool, but her corrupter of words. Clo. No, sir, I live by the church.
Vio. I saw thee late at the count Orsino's. Vio. Art thou a churcbman?
Clo. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb, lika Clo. No such matter, sir ; I do live by the the sun; it shines every where. I would be sorry, church: for I do live at my house, and my house sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master, doth stand by the church.
as with my mistress: I think, I saw your wisdom Vio. So thou may'st say, the king lies by a beg- there. kar', if a beggar dwell near him: or the church
Vio. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no mors stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the with thee. Hold, there's expenses for thee. church.
Clo. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, Clo. You have said, sir.—To see this age ! -A send thee a beard ! sentence is but a cheveril glove to a good wit; hovy Vio. By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost quickly the wrong side may be turned outward ! sick for ono ; though I would not have it grow
Vio. Nay, that's certain; they, that dally nicely on my chin. Is thy lady within ? with words, may quickly make them wanton, Clo. Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
Clo. I would, therefore, my sister had no Vio. Yes, being kept together, and put to use. Dame, sir.
Clo. I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, Vio. Why, man?
sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus. Clo. Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally Vio. I understand you, sir; 'tis well begged. with that word, might make my sister wanton : Clo. The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, besta but, indeed, words are very rascals, since bonds ging but a beggar ; Cressida was a beggar. Diy uisgraced them.
Jady is within, sir, I will construe to them whenes Vio. Thy reason, man?
you come; who you are, and what you would, Clo. Troth, sir, I can yield you none without are out of my welkin ; I might say, element; bus words; and words are grown so false, I am loth the word is over-worn.
[exit. to prove reason with them.
l'io. This fellow's wise enough to play the fool; Vio. I warrant, thou art a merry fellow, and | And, to do that well, craves a kind of wit: carest for nothing.
He must observe their mood on whom he jests, Clo. Not so, sir, I do care for something, but ! The quality of persons, and the time; ju my conscience, sir, I do not care for you; if | And, like the haggard, check at every feather that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would That comes before his eye. This is a practive, mike you invisible.
As full of labour as a wise man's art: Vio. Art not thou the lady Olivia's fool ? For folly, that he wisery shows, is fit; Clo. No, indeed, sir; the lady Olivia bas no : But wise men, folly-fallen, quite taint their wit
Enter Sir Toby Belch and Sir Andrew Ague-cheek. Vio. No, not a grise; for 'tis a vulgar proof, Sir To. Save you, gentleman.
That very oft we pity enemies.
(again; Vio. And you, sir.
Oli. Why then, methinks, 'tis time to smilu Sir And. Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
() world, how apt the poor are to be proud ! Vio. Et vous aussi ; votre servileur.
If one should be a prey, how much the better Sir And. I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours. To fall before the lion, than the wolf? (clock strikes.
Sir To. Will you encounter the house ? my The clock upbraids me with the waste of time. niece is desirous you should enter, if your trade Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you : be to her.
And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest, Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir: I mean, Your wife is like to reap a proper inan : she is the list of my voyage.
There lies your way, due west. Sir To. 'Taste your legs, sir, put them to motion. Vio. Then westward-hoe :
Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, Grace, and good disposition 'tend your ladyship! than I understand what you meau by bidding me You'll nothing, madum, to my lord by mo? taste my legs.
Oli. Stay: Sir To. I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
I pr'ythee, tell
what thou think'st of mc. [arc. Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance: Vio. That you do think, you are not what you but we are prevented.
Oli. If I think so, I think the same of you. Enter Olivia and Maria.
Vio. Then think you right; I am not what I am. Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens Oli. I would, you were as I would bave you be! rain odours on you !
Vio. Would it be better, madam, than I am, Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier ! rain I wish it might; for now I am your fool. odours ! well.
Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to In the contempt and anger of his lip! your own most pregnant and vouchsafed car. A murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon
Sir And. Odours, pregnant aud vouchsafed :- Than love that would seem hid: love's vigit is I'll get 'em all three ready.
Cesario, by the roses of the spring, [noon. Oli. Let the garden door be sbut, and leave me By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing, to my hearing. [exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, I love thee so, that maugre all thy pride, and Maria.] Give me your hand, sir.
Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide. Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble service. Do not extort thy reasons from this clause, Oli. What is your name?
For, that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause ; Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess. But, rather, reason thus with reason fetter :
Oli. My servant, sir!. 'Twas never merry world, Love sought is good, but given unsought is better. Since lowly feigning was called compliment :
Vio. By junocence I swear, and by my youth, You are servant to the count Orsino, youth. I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth, Vio. And he is your's, and his must needs be And that no woman has ; nor bever nouc yours ;
Shall mistress be of it, save I alone. Your servant's servant is your servant, madam. And so adieu, good madam; never more Oli. For him, I think not on him: for his Will I my master's tears to you deplore. thoughts,
[me! Oli. Yet come again: for thou, perhaps, may'st Would they were blanks, rather than filled with Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle That heart, which now abhors, to like his love. thoughts
(e.reunt. On his behalf :
SCENE II. A ROOM IN OLIVIA'S HOUSE. Oli. O, by your leave, I pray you :
Enter Sir Toby Belch, Sir Andrew Ague-check, I bade you never speak again of him :
and Fabian. But, would you undertake another suit,
Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer. I had rather hear you to solicit that,
Sir To. Thy reasen, dear vevom, give thy: Tban music from the spheres. Vio. Dear lady,
Fab. You must needs yield your reason,
sir Oli. Give me leave, I beseech you : I did send Andrew. After the last enchantnient you did here,
Sir And. Marry, I saw your nicce do inors A ring in chase of you; so did I abuse
favours to the count's serving man, than cver sle Myself, my scrvant, and, I fear me, you :
bestowed upon me;
I saw't i'the orchard Under your hard construction must I sit,
Sir To. Did she sec thee the while, old buy? To force that on you, in a shameful cunning, tell me that. Which you knew none of yours: what might you Sir And. As plain as I sce you now. Have you not set mine honour at the stake, (think? Fab. This was a great argument of love in her And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts, That tyrandous heart can think? To one of your Sir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o'me? receiving
Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the Enough is shown; a cypress, not a bosom, oaths of judginent and reason. Hides my poor heart. So let me bear you speak. Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men Vio. I pity you.
since before Noah was a sailor. Oli. That's a degree to love.
Fab. She did show favour to the youtin in you
SCENE III. A STREET.
sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dor- new map, with the augmentation of the Indies, mouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brim- you have not seen such a thing as it .s; I can stone in your liver : you should then have accosted hardly forbear hurling things at him.
I know, her; and with some excellent jests, fire-new from my lady will strike him; if she do, he'll smile, the mint, you should have banged the youth into and take't for a great favour. dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, Sir To. Come, bring us bring us where he is. and this was baulked : the double gilt of this
[ereunt. opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my lady's opinion ;
Enter Antonio and Sebastian. where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutch- Sir. I would not, by my will, have troubled you; man's beard, unless you do redeem it by some But since you make your pleasure of your pains, laudable attempt, either of valour, or policy. I will no further chide you.
Sir And. And't be any way, it must be with Ant. I could not stay behind you; my desire, valour; for policy I hate : I had as lief be a More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth; Browoist as a politician.
And not all love to see you, (though so much, Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon As might have drawn one to a longer voyage, ) the basis of valour. Challenge me the count's But jealousy what might befall your travel youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places: Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger, my niece shall take note of it: and assure thyself, Unguided, and unfriended, often prove there is no love-broker in the world can more Rough and unhospitable : my willing love, prevail in man's commendation with woman, than The rather by these arguments of fear, report of valour.
Set forth in your pursuit. Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew. Seb. My kind Antonio,
Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge I can no other answer make, but thanks, to him!
And thanks, and ever thanks: often good turns Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand: be Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay: curst and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it But, were my worth, as is my conscience, firm, be eloquent, and full of invention : taunt him You should find better dealing. What's to do? with the licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some Shall we go see the reliques of this town ? thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as Ant. To-morrow, sir : best, first, go see your will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet lodging. were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night; set 'em down : go, about it. Let there be gall I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes enough in thy ink; though thou write with a With the memorials, and the things of fame, goose-pen, no matter : about it.
That do renown this city.
Ant. 'Would, you'd pardon me;
[exit sir Andrew. Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the Count his galley, Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, sir Toby. I did some service; of such note, indeed,
Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad ; some That, were I ta'en here, it would scarce be answer'd two thousand strong, or so.
Seb. Belike, you slew great number of hia Fab. We shall bave a rare letter from him: but people. you'll not deliver it.
Ant. The offence is not of such a bloody nature; Sir To. Never trust me then; and by all Albeit the quality of the time, and quarrel, means stir on the youth to an answer. I think, Might well have given us bloody argument. oxen and wain-ropes cannot hale them together. It might have since been answer'd in repaying For Andrew, if he were opened, and you find so What we took from them ; which, for traffic much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a sake, fea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.
Most of our city did : only myself stood out; Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his For which, if I be lapsed in this place, visage no great presage of cruelty.
I shall pay dear.
Seb. Do not then walk too open.
Ant. It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's mg nine comes.
In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,
[purse; Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet, yourselves into stitches, follow me: yon gull Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowMalvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado ; for ledge,
[me. there is no Christian that means to be savedby With viewing of the town; there shall you have believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible Seb. Why I your purse? passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings. Ant. Haply, your eye shall light upon some toy Sir To. And cross-gartered !
You have desire to purchase; and your store, Mar. Most villainously; like a pedant that keeps I think, is not for idle markets, sir. a school i'the church.— I have dogged him, like Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for his murderer : he does obey every point of the An hour. letter that I dropped to betray him. He does Ant. To the Elephant. kmile his face into more lines, than are in the
Seb. I do remember.
SCENE IV. OLIVIA'S GARDEN.
Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my Enter Olivia and Maria.
cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special Oli. I have seut after him: he says he'll come? care of him: I would not have him miscarry for How shall I feast him ? what bestow on him ? the half of my dowry. [exeunt Olivia and Maria. For youth is bought more oft, than begged, or Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no I speak too loud.
(borrow'd, worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This Where is Malvolio ?-he is sad, and civil,
concurs directly with the letter: she sends him And suits well for a servant with my fortunes ;- on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; Where is Malvolio?
for she incites me to that in the letter. · Mar. He's coming, madam;
humble slough, says she; be opposite with a kins. But in strange manner. He is sure possess'd. man, surly with servants, let thy tongue tang ar
Oli. Why, what's the matter? does he rave? guments of state,-put thyself into the trick of sinMar. No, madam,
gularity ;-—and, consequently, sets down the manHe does nothing but smile: your ladyship ner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow Were best have guard about you, if he come; tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so For, sure, the man is tainted in his wits.
forth, I have limed her, but it is Jove's doing, Oli. Go call him hither. I'm as mad as he, and Jove make me thankful! And, when she If sad and merry madness equal be:
went away now,
let this fellow be looked to: FelEnter Malvolio. 2)
low! Dot Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fel. Malvolio?
low. Why, every thing adheres together; that Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho. (smiles fantastically. no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no Oli. Smil'st thou?
obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance, I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.
- What can be said? nothing, that can be, can Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad: this does make come between me' and the full prospect of my some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering: hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and but what of that, if it please the eye of one, it is he is to be thanked. with me as the very true sonnet is : please one and Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch and Fabian. please all.
Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? Oli. Why, how dost thou, man? what is the If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and matter with thee?
Legion bimself possessed him, yet I'll speak of bim. Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in Fab. Here he is, here he is :-how is't with my legs: It did not come to his bands, and com- you, sir? how is't with you,
man? mands shall be executed. I think, we do know Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my the sweet Roman band.
private; go off. Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? 1. (thee. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within Mal. To bed ? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come to him! did not I tell you ?-sir Toby, ny lady
Oli. God comfort thee! why dost thou smile prays you to have a care of him. 50, and kiss thy hand so oft ?
Mal. Ah, ba! does she so ? Mar. How do you, Malvolio?
Sir To. Go to, go to; pence, peace, we must Mal. At your request? yes; nightingales deal gently with him; let me alone. How do answer daw3.
you, Malvolio? how is't with you? what, man! Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous defy the devil! consider, he's an enemy to mankind. boldness before my lady?
(writ. Mal. Do you know what you say? Mal. Be not afraid of greatness : -'Twas well Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio ? he takes it at heart! pray God, he be not bewitched! Mal. Some are born great,
Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman. Oli. Ha?
Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow Mal. Some achieve greatness,
morning, if I live. My lady would not lose Oli. What say'st thou?
him for more than I'll say. Mul. And some have greatness thrust upon
them. Mal. How now, mistress ? Oli. Heaven restore thee!
Mar. O lord ! Mal. Remember, who commended thy yellow Sir To. Prythee, hold thy peace; this is not stockings ;
the way: do you not see you move him? let me Oli. Thy yellow stockings?
alone with him. Mal. And wished to see thee cross-garlered. Fab. No way but gentleness ; gently, gently: Oli. Cross-gartered ?
the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. Mal. Go to: thou art made, if thou desirest to Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock ? how
dost thou, chuck? Oli. Am I made ?
Mal. Sir ? Mal. If not, let me see thee a servant still.
Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, Oli. Why, this is very midsummer madness. man! 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit Enter Servant.
with Satan : hang him, foul collier ! Per. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Mar. Get him to say his prayers ; good sir Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him Toby, get him to pray. back: he attends your ladyship's pleasure.
Mal. My prayers, minx ?
[godliness. Oli. I'll come to him. [exit Servant.] Good Mar. No, I warrant you, lie will not hear of
be so ;
Mal. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and shallow things : I am not of your element; you drive the gentleman (as, I know, his youth will shall know more hereafter.
(erit. aptly receive it,) into a most hideous opinion of Sir To. Is't possible ?
his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will Fub. If this were played upon a stage now, I so fright them both, that they will kill one another could condemn it as an improbable fiction.
by the look, like cockatrices. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infec
Enter Olivia and Viola. tion of the device, man.
Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device | way, till he take leave, and presently after him. take air, and taint.
Sir To. I will meditate the while upon somu. Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed. horrid message for a challenge. Mar. The house will be the quieter.
(exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Marii. Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room,
Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone, und bound. My niece is already in the belief, And laid mine honour too unchary out: that he is mad; we may carry it thus, for our
There's something in ine, that reproves my fault; pleasure, and his penance, till our very pastime, But such a headstrong potent fault it is, tired out of breath, prompt:us to have mercy on That it but mocks reproof.
(bears him: at which time, we will bring the device to Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passiou the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. Go on my master's griefs. But see, but see.
Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my Enter Sir Andrew Ague-check.
picture; Fab. More matter for a May morning.
Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex yon : Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I war- And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. mant, there's vinegar and pepper in't.
What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny; Fab. Is't so saucy?
That honour, sav'd, may upon asking give? Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but read. Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my Sir To. Give me.
master. [Reads] Youth, whatsoever thou art, tbou art but a scurvy Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that, fellow,
Which I have given to you? Fab. Good, and valiant.
Vio. I will acquit you. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.
Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee weil: Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell.[exit. blow of the law.
Re-enter Sir Toby Belch and Fabian. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight Sir To. Gentlemen, God save thee. ahe uses thee kindly; but thou licst in thy throat, that is pot the matter I challenge thee for.
Vio. And you, sir. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee
Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast chance to kill mc,Fab. Good.
done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full Sir To, Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.
of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at Fab. Still you keep o'the windy side of the law: the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, ve yare in good.
thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, Sir To. Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of and deadly. our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest bim, and thy sworn enemy.
Andrew Ague-Check. hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs free and clear from any image of offence done to cannot: I'll give't him.
any man. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you : is now in some commerce with my lady, and will therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake by and by depart.
you to your guard ; for your opposite hath in him Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can fur the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so nish man withal. soon as ever thou scest him, draw; and, as thon Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent rapier, and on carpet consideration ; but he is a abarply twanged off, gives manhood more appro- devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he bation than ever proof itself would have earned divorced three; and his incensement at this mobim.
ment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. (erit. nonc but by pangs of death, and sepulchre: hou,
Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for nob, is his word; giv't, or tak't. the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him Vio. I will return again into the house, and out to be of good capacity and breeding; his em- desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. ployment between his lord and my niece confirms I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarno less; therefore this letter, being so excellently rels purposely on others, to taste their valour : Ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth, he belike, this is a man of that quirk. vill find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itsell väl deliver his challenge by word of mouth ; set out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you