lies, are duly sensible how extremely difficult it is to give a satisfactory report of a patient's case at short intervals. The disorder, be it of whatever nature (I speak only of chronic or tedious disorders), frequently varies so little, one way or other, in the course of a day, that it is very difficult to make the report of one day differ perceptibly from that of the preceding. The expressions better and worse are sufficiently intelligible where they can be employed; but in many cases they must be used with great caution, because they may only apply to one particular affection or symptom, and not to the general state of the patient's health, or to what I would call the totality of the disease. But in chronic cases there is a period, and frequently a long period, when it is impossible to pronounce the patient either better or worse, so as to give his friends a decided cause for joy or regret.

Now, Sir, if to these circumstances we add the peculiar obligation felt by His Majesty's physicians, to convey no opinion but what is authorized, not only by the actual state of things, but such as could be agreed upon and confirmed in consultation, I hope we shall learn to make every allowance for their situation, instead of bringing our party-prejudices to bear upon their daily reports. Could the public have been satisfied with a weekly report, I am persuaded that, throughout the whole of this much-lamented illness, they would have received more ample satisfaction.

But, on closing this last sentence, a friend at my elbow jogs me, and wishes to know what all this has to do with the subject he was talking of? And, in truth, it is high time to come to the condition of many worthy Gentlemen, who are known by the name of Rats, and who have been loudest in their objections to the Bulletins, as not being sufficiently explicit. They say, and perhaps with justice, that if these reports had been as intelligible a month ago

as

EPIGRAM ON BLUE BEARD.

145

as they are now, they would have known better what to think of the matter. Their anxiety, they say, and those perplexing doubts and apprehensions, would have been removed; or, rather, they would never have been troubled with them, and never have been obliged to vibrate from one opinion to another, doubtful on which side to lean!

To men of this description I am willing to allow some excuse for their objections; but still I do not clearly see that they have a right to blame the faculty. Politicians have often told us, that the King's speech is the speech of the Minister. We seem now to think that the King's illness is the illness of the Minister; and that these Reports have been read, not with a view to know how our beloved Sovereign was, but how Mr. Perceval was; whether the latter was likely to recover, to regain his strength, and perform those other official duties and functions, in the performance of which some Gentlemen delight to be connected with a Minister! Now if this be the view of things which these Gentlemen have been disposed to take, while we can very readily enter into their feelings, and may, from many past instances, particularly in 1789, form an opinion of their loyal anxiety, and their affectionate concern, I shall leave it to your readers to determine what portion of pity or sympathy is due to their present embarrassments, or their prospect of future disappointments.

I am, Sir, yours,

MEDICO-POLITICUS.

EPIGRAM ON BLUE BEARD.

[From the Morning Post.]

NO wonder that nightly such companies press,
And for places" 't is catch as catch can:"
The reason is clear; and all must confess,
That a horse will draw more than a man.

H.

EPIGRAM

EPIGRAM ON A MISER.

[From the same.]

STRANGE though it seem-a miser you will find
Most generous by far of all mankind:
Others their riches on themselves employ,
While he keeps his for others to enjoy.

WE

THE MUSING LOVER.

[From the Morning Chronicle]

C. T.

VERE I a moon-beam," quoth a love-sick swain
Musing beneath the shadowy cope of night,
I'd steal through yonder chamber window's pane,
And on my sleeping charmer's lip alight:
"Were I a zephyr, when morn's charms invite
Her wandering footsteps o'er the dewy lawn,
Around her damask cheek and bosom white

I'd frisk in fragrance from sweet flow'rs new drawn :
"Oh! were I but a kid or nice young fawn,
My fondness in a thousand pranks I'd show,
And lick her hand, and lie her lap upon,
And follow her wherever she should go!"
"Fond youth, your idle fantasies forbear,"
Cried Common-sense-" address her as you are."

TO LORD CASTLEREAGH,

ON SOME EXPRESSIONS RESPECTING HIM IN MR. WHITBREAD'S SPEECH, AS REPORTED IN "THE CHRONICLE" OF 26TH ULT.

W

[From the same, March 1.]

"Quid immerentes hospites vexas, canis
Ignavus adversum lupos ?"

HORACE.

THEREFORE, dread Peer, thy heaviest vengeance shed
On luckless Finnerty's offending head?

Qr, at St. Stephen's, in sarcastic tone,
Why vent thy anger on Burdett alone?

A nobler,

THE STUBIOUS MAN'S PRAYER.

A nobler, worthier foe is now in view,

For Whitbread e'en proclaims thee cruel too;
He calls in doubtful phrase, yet half unwilling,
Thy candour merciless, thy very kindness killing.

147

ON THE ELOQUENCE OF A CERTAIN PEER. [From the Morning Post, March 4.]

WHY, when our Patriot speaks, will he persist
To thump so hard the table with his fist?

Is it that, thinking (no offence is meant)
His fist more weighty than his argument,
He strives by force to make each wand'ring Peer
Hear that which otherwise they would not hear?
Or is it to discover which is able

To bear the hardest knock, he or the table?-
If it be so, a wise observer said,

""Twere better far he'd thump it with his head." C. T.

ON TOM, A DYER.

[From the Morning Chronicle, March 4.]

STRANGE was the destiny, thought I,
That Fate to Tom did give;

That while all others live to die,

He only dyes to live.

THE STUDIOUS MAN'S PRAYER

IN MATRIMONY.

[From the same, March 5]

AMAN, whose studies occupied the day,

C.T.

And sometimes trespass'd on the peaceful night, Disturb'd by noise, was overheard to say:

"O, Heav'n! I thank thee for the dear delight Which marriage lends, past, present, and to come; But crown my joys, and let my wife be dumb."

ON A STOCK-JOBBING PARSON.

BY A CHELSEA PENSIONER.

[From the same, March 7.]

GOOD Parson Scrip, each coming week,
To pious prayer is given;

He then exhorts his flock to seek

Their Int'rest most in Heaven.

But yet these prayers, of which he speaks,
Himself he ne'er fulfils:

His Int'rest most the Parson seeks
In Bonds and India Bills!

A NEW COMEDY.

[From the British Press, March 8.]

A NEW Piece, entitled "How to conciliate the

Regent," has been recently brought out, and is now performing at a certain Theatre in Downing Street. It is not the production of a single pen, but of a Junta, who have clubbed their wits; but, like most modern pieces, it boasts little novelty. In the intrigue, the structure, and the materials, even to the minor incidents, it is confessed to be a mere plagiary from the dramatic works of the late Mr. Pitt, with the addition of a few hints from Machiavel. The introduction of the Royal Dukes as "great loobies, and boobies with corals and bells," having excited universal disgust upon the first representation, that gross and scandalous part of the spectacle has been omitted; and it is now proposed to introduce them all, with the Regent at their head, in a graceful style, mounted upon their hobbies. We are confident, however, that the Authors and the Manager will fail also in this attempt, and that they will find the Regent, although necessarily an actor, is no puppet. Even this idea of

the