IMPROMPTU

ON THE PRINCE'S ABSENCE FROM THE CEREMONY OF LAYING THE FIRST STONE OF THE VAUXHALL BRIDGE.

[From the Morning Chronicle, May 11.]

AN arch wag has declar'd, that he truly can say
Why the Prince did not lay the first stone t' other day:
The Restrictions prevented-the reason is clear;
The Regent can't meddle in making a pier.

STATE OF THE COIN.

T. H.

TO THE EDITOR OF THE MORNING CHRONICLE.

[May 13.]

I

SIR,

HAVE been lately taking what Mawworm calls an excrescence into the country, to keep up my interest with my constituents, and prevent any other candidate from insinuating himself into the repair of their pots and their frying-pans. It is with sincere, satisfaction that I perceive, on my return, the complete adoption of the schemes proposed in my former letters, and that my coadjutors the State Tinkers (who are so laudably polishing the handle of the State Kettle while they are boring a large hole in its bottom) have so thoroughly entered into and adopted my plans. No man, though I say it who should not say it, takes a warmer interest in the welfare of my country than myself. I never replace the nozzel in the extremity of a decayed pair of bellows, without glowing at the hope of a Reform in Parliament; or solder a tin spout on a dismantled teapot, unmoved by the services of the Bullion Committee: judge, then, of my rapture at the adoption of the Irish plan of a depreciated currency, and the oracular words" a new coinage is about to be introduced to the public, and directions.

have been already given at the Mint for the immediate preparation of silver pieces of coin, one of which is to pass for three shillings, and the other for eighteenpence." Mind, Mr. Editor, the precious words—

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they are to pass for three shillings and eighteenpence"-they are not said to be intrinsically worth three shillings and eighteen-pence, for then they would follow the gold out of circulation, before perhaps the last of them was issued from the Mint. But they are said to pass for three shillings and eighteen-pence! Here is a stroke of artificial finance, worthy of that first of all tinkerly Statesmen, yea even of Pitt himself! And observe too, Mr. Editor, how respectfully the nation is treated in this business a new coinage is about to be introduced to the public: this is quite in the style of a presentation at a drawing-room, or the first appearance of a country cousin of a Ministerial Member of Parliament, who is cringing for a place, at the levee of the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

It is, I must confess, Mr. Editor, with genuine complacency I look upon this realization of my Irish plan. The Irish early saw the necessity of marrying depreciated silver to depreciated paper, which now, like man and wife, jog on very contentedly together. In England there was a balance of impediment in the obstinate prejudices of John Bull, which are at length happily giving way-his note is changed as well as depreciated he no longer grumbles at the disappearance of guineas, and will pocket these representatives of shillings with just as much glee as Perceval pockets any other Representatives; and every man will walk about with a Parliament of counter-votes in his purse, in which the alloy will universally obtain a dead majority. I am, Sir, your humble servant, T. TINKER.

HORACE,

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HORACE, ODE XXII.

Vili potabis modicis Sabinum
Cantharis.

[From the same.]

TO J. P. KEMBLE, ESQ.

COME, Kemble, thou chivalrous wight,
And tipple my humble Brown Stout;
'Twas bottled and seal'd on the night
When Timour the Tartar came out.

The Theatre set up a bawl

On seeing his cream-colour'd hobby,
That made Shakspeare shake in the hall,
And startled the Muse in the lobby.

Thalia, Melpomene-shrews!
A fig for their Ladyships' ire ;-
Half your stage is already a Mews,
I offer you Meux's Entire!

H.

THE LONG-EARED REFORMERS.

A FABLE.

[From the Morning Post, May 14.]

THAT Asses once could speak we know,
In history 't is recorded so;

And that shrewd beast which Balaam rode,
Who stopp'd to gossip with his load,
Had a most numerous progeny
(Although we've lost the pedigree),
Who long surviv'd to rail and chatter
On whate'er chanc'd to be the matter,

Once on a time a general meeting
Was call'd for speaking and for eating;
At which these sages rose to prate,
And talk about affairs of State.
They held their meeting in a cavern
(To them a sort of London Tavern),

In which secure they thought to say
Whatever they might have to bray.
Their leaders wish'd to raise a storm,
By bawling out, "Reform, Reform!!!"
An Ass they call'd " Black Bob" bégan-
"Too long we've borne the yoke of man;
'Tis time that we should let him see
That British Asses will be free:
Our ancestors, who yielded first
To bear his loads, were not so curst
As we are now; nor did they think
Their sons the bitter cup would drink,
Which we, though writhing with the pain,
Are to the dregs, compell'd to drain.
Then let us, oh! my friends, unite,
And make the Tyrant feel our spite."
A visitor, who now came in,
Who might have boasted nobler kin,
Here rose but while they view'd his phiz,
"T was thought he only meant to quiz,
A sneer he hastily repress'd,

And thus the long-ear'd throng address'd:
"My friends, you 're treated with neglect,
Some change we somehow must effect;
Things as they are will never do,
For I am dish'd as well as you.

Did you, O Donkies! know your strength,
All
you desire you 'd gain at length;
Be but unanimous as warm,
And who will dare refuse Reform?
I to the last will by you stand,
And they shall find in me a Brand;
Who tear me from you in my ire,
A flaming Brand pluck'd from the fire."
An Ass, well known upon the town,
A stupid Ass, whom they call'd Brown,
Who late had serv'd a certain Dame,
To whom he ow'd his well-earn'd fame.
(She gave him Villain for his name),
Now rose to speak; but soon the elf
Forgot Reform-spoke of himself;

And,

THE LONG-EARED REFORMERS.

And, thoughtless of the nation's cares,
Talk'd only of his own affairs.
Upon this subject long he dwelt,
And spoke as if indeed he felt.
At last he swore, that in the strife
With power he'd boldly risk his life.
He paus'd a horse or donkey laugh
Prov'd he had said too much by half.

A grave old hack, whose lengthen'd years
Bore some proportion to his ears,
On his hind-legs, before the host
Now stood, and seem'd a grizzled ghost.
This venerable Ass, 't is said,

Had long since made Reform his trade;
He'd borne a Cartwright's burdens long,
Reform his object and his song.
And now he rose to urge to action
The long-ear'd patriotic faction:

Donkies," he cried, "hear what I say-
Ere you could either snort or bray,
I sought, with public spirit warm,
A full and radical Reform;
And now I'm old enough to be
Reform's Grand Daddy, as you see.
Though years ago I had begun,
And nothing has as yet been done,
Yet let us not a morsel flinch-

No! de, don't draw back an inch;
For since each year augments our powers,
Success must in the end be ours.

A Revolution must take place,

And we shall thrive on man's disgrace.
Then, oh! my heroes, persevere,
And play the devil without fear;
Distinctly I will show the way,
Upon the twenty-third of May;
When 't is my hope to see you
all
In Moorfields Quarters, or Guildhall."
Th' assembly thought his counsel good.
An Ass now rose who carried Wood;

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His