upon fuch backing! give me them that will face meGive me a cup of fack; I am a rogue, if I drunk to day. P. Henry. O villain, thy lips are scarce wip'd fince thou drunk'ft laft. Fal. All's one for that. A plague of all cowards, ftill, fay I! P. Henry. What's the matter? [He drinks. Fal. What's the matter! here be four of us, have ta'en a thousand pound this morning. P. Henry. Where is it, Jack? where is it? Fal. Where is it? taken from us, it is; a hundred upon poor four of us. P. Henry. What a hundred, man? Fal. I am a rogue, if I were not at half-fword with a dozen of them two hours together. I have escap'd by miracle. I am eight times thrust through the doublet, four through the hofe, my buckler cut through and through, my fword hack'd like a hand-faw, ecce fignum. I never dealt better fince I was a man; all would not do. A plague of all cowards! let them fpeak; if they speak more or less than truth, they are villains and the fons of darkness. P. Henry. Speak, Sirs, how was it? Gads. We four fet upon fome dozen. Gads. And bound them. Peto. No, no, they were not bound. Fal. You rogue, they were bound, every man of them, or I am a few elfe, an Ebrew Jew. Gads. As we were fharing, fome fix or feven fresh men fet upon us. Fal. And unbound the reft, and then came in the other. P. Henry. What, fought ye with them all? Fal. All I know not, what ye call all; but if I fought not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish: if there were not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no two-legg'd creature. Poins. Pray heav'n, you have not murthered fome of them. Fal. Nay, that's past praying for. I have pepper'd two of them; two, I am fure, I have pay'd, two rogues in buckram fuits. I tell thee what, Hal, If I tell thee a lie, fpit in my face, call me horfe; thou know'ft my old ward; here I lay, and thus I bore my point; four rogues in buckram let drive at me. P. Henry. What, four? thou faidft but two, even now. Fal. Four, Hal, I told thee four. Poins. Ay, ay, he faid four. Fal. Thefe four came all a-front, and mainly thrust at me; I made no more ado, but took all their feven points in my target, thus. P. Henry. Seven? why there were but four, even now. Fal. In buckram. Poins. Ay, four, in buckram fuits. Fal. Seven, by thefe hilts, or I am a villain else. anon. Fal. Doft thou hear me, Hal? P. Henry. Ay, and mark thee too, Jack. Fal. Do fo, for it is worth the liftning to these ning in buckram, that I told thee of P. Henry. So, two more already. Fal. Began to give me ground; but I follow'd me clofe, came in foot and hand; and, with a thought, seven of the eleven I pay'd. P. Henry. O monftrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two! Fal. But as the devil would have it, three mif-begoten knaves in Kendal green came at my back, and let drive at me; (for it was fo dark, Hal, that thou couldst. not fee thy hand.) P. Henry. These lies are like the father that begets them, grofs as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thou F 4 clay clay-brain'd guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whorfon obfcene greafie tallow-catch Fal. What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truth, the truth? P. Henry. Why, how could't thou know these men in Kendal green, when it was fo dark, thou could'st not fee thy hand? come, tell us your reason: what say'st thou to this? Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason. Fal. What, upon compulfion? no; were I at the ftrappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulfion. Give you a reafon on compulfion! if reasons were as plenty as black-berries, I would give no man a reafon upon compulfion, I. P. Henry. I'll be no longer guilty of this fin. This fanguine coward, this bed-preffer, this horfe-back-breaker, this huge hill of flesh, Fal.. Away, you ftarveling, you elf-skin, you dry'd neats-tongue, bull's pizzel, you stock-fish: O for breath to utter! What is like thee? You taylor's yard, you fheath, you bow-cafe, you vile standing tuck, P. Henry. Well, breathe a while, and then to't again ; and when thou haft tir'd thy felf in base comparisons, hear me fpeak but this. Poins. Mark, Jack. P. Henry. We two faw you four fet on four, you bound them, and were mafters of their wealth: mark now, how a plain tale fhall put you down. Then did we two fet on you four, and with a word, out-fac'd you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can fhew it you here in the house. And, Falftaff, you carry'd your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roar'd for mercy, and ftill ran and roar'd, as ever I heard bull-calf. What a flave art thou, to hack thy fword as thou haft done, and then say it was in fight-What trick? what device? what starting hole, canft thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent fhame ? Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack: what trick haft thou now ? Fal. . Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye, as well as he that made ye. Why, hear ye, my mafters; was it for me to kill the heir apparent? Should I turn upon the true Prince? Why, thou knoweft, I am as valiant as Hercules; but beware inftinct, the Lion will not touch the true Prince inftinct is a great matter. I was a coward on inftinct I fhall think the better of my self, and thee, during my life; I, for a valiant Lion, and thou for a true Prince. But, by the lord, lads, I am glad you have the mony. Hoftefs, clap to the doors; watch to night, pray to morrow. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold, all the titles of good fellowship come to you! What, shall we be merry? fhall we have a play extempore? P. Henry. Content : and the argument shall be, thy running away. Fal. Ah! no more of that, Hal, if thou lovest me. Enter Hoftefs. Hoft. O Jefu! my lord the Prince ! P. Henry. How now, my lady the hoftefs, what fay'it thou to me? Hoft. Marry, my lord, there is a Nobleman of the Court at door would speak with you; he says, he comes from your father. P. Henry. Give him as much as will make him a royal man, and fend him back again to my mother. Fal. What manner of man is he? Hoft. An old man. Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight? Shall I give him his answer? P. Henry. Pr'ythee, do, Jack. Fal. Faith, and I'll fend him packing. [Exit. P. Henry. Now, Sirs, by'r lady, you fought fair; fo did you, Peto; fo did you, Bardolph: you are Lions too, you ran away upon inftinct; you will not touch the true Prince; no, fie! Bard. 'Faith, I ran when I faw others run. P. Henry. Tell me now in carneft; how came Falfaff's fword fo hackt? F-5 Fèto Peto. Why, he hackt it with his dagger, and faid, he would fwear truth out of England, but he would make you believe it was done in fight, and perfuaded us to do the like. Bard. Yea, and to tickle our nofes with fpear-grafs, to make them bleed; and then beflubber our garments with it, and swear it was the blood of true men. I did That I did not these seven years before, I blush'd to hearhis monstrous devices. P. Henry. O villain, thou ftolleft a cup of fack eighteen years ago, and wert taken in the manner, and ever fince thou haft blufh'd extempore; thou hadft fire and fword on thy fide, and yet thou ranneft away; what inftin&t hadft thou for it? Bard. My lord, do you see these meteors ? do you behold these exhalations? P. Henry. I do. Bard. What think you they portend? P. Henry. Hot livers, and cold purfes. Re-enter Falstaff. Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone. How now, my fweet creature of bombaft, how long is't ago, Jack, fince thou faw'ft thy own knee? Fal. My own knee? When I was about thy years, Hal, I was not an Eagle's talon in the wafte; I could have crept into any alderman's thumb ring: a plague of fighing and grief, it blows a man up like a bladder. There's villainous news abroad: here was Sir John Braby from your Father; you must go to the Court in the morning. That fame mad fellow of the north, Percy, and he of Wales, that gave Amamon the bastinado, and made Lucifer cuckold, and fwore the devil his true Liegeman upon the cross of a Welb-hook : what a plague call you him Poins. Ŏ, Glendower. Fal. Owen, Owen; the fame; and his fon-in-law Martimer, and old Northumberland, and that sprightly Scot |