1754: Humours of the Audience at PLAYS, poffeffion of the Grandvill's, earls of Bath, which honour is extinct in that family, and is now in the family of Pulteney. A From the CONNOISSEUR, Nov. 21. FEW years ago an ingenious player gave notice in the bilis for his be- A nefit night, that the prologue should be poken by the pit, which he contrived to have reprefented on the ftage, Another time he drew in the whole houfe to act as chorus to a new farce; and I remember, that in the last rebellion the loyal acclamations of "God fave the king" might have been heard from Drury-Lane to Charing-Crofs. Upon thefe and many other occafions the audience has been known to enter into the immediate bufinefs of the drama; and, to fay the truth, I never go into the theatre without looking on the ipecators as playing a part almoft as much as the actors themselves. All the company from the ftage-box to the upper gallery know their cues very well, and perform their parts with great fpirit. The first part of the audience that demands our attention (on this occafion) is fo nearly allied to the actors that they always appear on the fame level with them: But while the performer endeavours to carry on the bufinefs of the play, thefe gentlemen behind the fcenes ferve only to hinder and disturb it. There is no part of the house from which a play can be feen to fo little advantage as from the ftage; yet this fituation is very convenient on many other confiderations, of more confequence to a fine gentleman. It looks particular; it is the best place to fhew a handsome perfon, or an elegant fuit of cloaths: A bow from the stage to a beauty in the box is moft likely to attract our notice; and a pretty fellow may, perhaps, with tolerable management, get the credit of an intrigue with fome of the actreffes. But notwithflanding all thefe advantages accruing to our fine gentlemen. I could heartily with they would leave a clear ftage to the performers; B E F or at least, that none fhould be admitted 513 the accoutrements, and fland on guard quietly and decently with the foldiers. 66 The boxes are often filled with perfons who do not come to the theatre out of any regard to Shakespear or Garrick, but, Jike the fine lady in Lethe, "because every body is there." As thefe people cannot be expected to mind the play themselves, we can only define them not to call off the attention of others, nor interrupt the dialogue on the stage by a louder converfation of their own. The filent courtship of the eyes, ogles, nods, glances, and curtfies from one box to anether may be allowed them the fame as at church, but nothing more, except at coronations, funeral proceffions, and pantomimes. Here I cannot help recom mending it to the gentlemen, who draw the pen from under their right ears about feven o'clock, clap on a bag-wig and fword, and drop into the boxes at the end of the third act, to take their half crown's worth with as much decency as poffible; as well as the bloods who reel from the taverns about Covent-Garden near that time, and tumble drunk into the boxes. Before I quit this part of the house, I must take notice of that divifion of the upper boxes, properly diftinguished by the name of the Fleth market. There is frequently as much art ufed to make the fleth exhibited here look whole fome, and (as Tim fays in the farce) "all over red and white, like the infide of a shoulder "of mutton," as there is by the butchers to make their veal look white; and it is as often rank carrion and flyblown. If thefe ladies would appear in any other quarter of the houfe, I would only beg of them and thofe who come to market, to drive their bargains with as little noise as poffible: But I have lately observed with fome concern, that these women begin to appear in the lower boxes to the deftruction of all order, and great confufion of all modeft ladies. It is to be hoped, that fome of their friends will advife them not to pretend to appear there any more than at court; for it is as ab furd to endeavour the removal of their market into the front and fide-boxes, as it would be in the butchers of St. James's Market to attempt fixing the shambles in St. James's Square. I must now defire the reader to defcerd with me among laced hats and capuchins into the pit. The pit is the grand court of criticism, and in the center of it is collected that awful body, diftinguished by the title of the Town. Hence are iffued the irrevocable decrees, and here final fentence is pronounced on plays and players. This court has often been very ftve.e 514. Of the PIT, and the two GALLERIES. fevere in its decifions, and has been known to declare many old plays barbarously murdered, and most of our modern ones felo de fe, but it must not be diffembled, that many a caufe of great confequence has been denied a fair hearing. Parties and private cabals have often been formed to thwart the progrefs of merit, or to A efpoufe ignorance and dullness; for it is not wonderful, that the parliament of criticism, like all others, fhould be liable to coruption. In this affembly Mr. Town was first nominated Critick and Cenfor-general; but confidering the notorious bribery now prevailing, I think proper to declare (in imitation of Tom in the Confcious Lovers) that I never took a fin- B gle order for my vote in all my life. Those who pay their two fhillings at the door of the middle gallery feem to frequent the theatre purely for the fake of feeing the play; tho' thefe peaceful regions are fometimes difturbed by the incurfions of rattling ladies of pleasure, fometimes contain persons of fashion in difguife, and fometimes criticks in ambuth. The greatest fault I have to object to those who fill this quarter of the theatre, is their frequent and injudicious interruption of the bufinefs of the play by their applaufe. I have feen a bad actor clapt two minutes together for ranting, or perhaps fhrugging his thoulders, and D making wry faces: And I have feen the natural course of the paffions checked in a good one, by thefe ill-judged testimonies of their approbation. It is recorded of Betterton to his honour, that he thought a deep filence thro' the whole houfe, and a ftrict attention to his playing, the ftrongest and fureft figns of his being well received. E F The inhabitants of the upper gallery demand our notice as well as the reft of the theatre. The trunk-maker of immortal memory was the most celebrated hero of thefe regions; but fince he is departed, and no able-bodied critick appointed in his room, I cannot help giving the fame caution to the upper gallery as to the gentry a pair of ftairs lower. Some of the under comedians will, perhaps, be difpleafed at this order, who are proud of thefe applaufes, and rejoice to hear the, lufty bangs from the oaken-towels of their friends against the wainscot of the upper gallery; but I think they fhould not be allowed to fhatter the pannels without amending our tafte; fince their thwacks, G however vehement, are feldom laid on with fufficient judgment to ratify our applaufe. It were better therefore, if all the prefent twelvepenny criticks of this Nov. town, who prefide over our diverfions in the upper gallery, would content themfelves with the inferior duties of the office, viz. to take care that the play begins at the proper time, that the mufick between the acts is of a due length, and that the candles are fnuffed in tune. After thefe brief admonitions concerning our behaviour at the play, which are intended as a kind of vade mecum for the frequenters of the theatre, I cannot conclude my paper more properly than with an extract from the Tale of a Tub, fhewing the judicious diftribution of our play. houfes into boxes, pit, and galleries. very refined in the contrivance and ftruc"I confefs, that there is fomething ture of our modern theatres. For, first, the pit is funk below the stage, that whatever weighty matter fhall be delivered thence (whether it be lead or gold) may fall plum into the jaws of certain criticks, (as I think they are called) which stand boxes are built round, and raised to a leready opened to devour them. Then the vel with the fcene, in deference to the ladies. The whining paffions, and little ftarved conceits, are gently wafted up by their own extreme levity, to the middle region, and there fix, and are frozen by the frigid understandings of the inhabitants. Bombaftry and buffoonry, by naand would be loft in the roof, if the pruture lefty and light, foar highest of all, dent architect had not with much forefight contrived for them a fourth place, called the Twelve penny Gallery, and there planted a fuitable colony, who gree dily intercept them in their paffage.' The ingenious Author, who, under the Character of a French Writer, bas published Remarks on the Advantages and Difadvan tages of England and France quith regard to Commerce, has the following Obfer vations concerning Maraiage in England, Whas the liberty of marriage hi WHAT fuch grievous inconveniences bon in birth and fortune in matches. But therto produced, that it is no longer to be borne ? It will be anfwered, disproporwhat fignify mi-alliances in a nation in in which nobility is not folely derived from which equality is upheld and in esteem; ancient extraction, and the highest honours are not exclufively appropriated to ancient birth; but nobility, according to have merited high honours? Besides, is the conftitution, is conferred on fuch as not the union of the most disproportioned fortunes, the best and most advantageous policy for the ftate? It is fordid intereft, much more than a regud for publick decency, 4 1754. SCHEME for promoting MARRIAGE. decency, or the afferting the right of An account of the marriages and births in the feveral claffes into which the inhabitants of this kingdom might be divided, and a comparison between them, would fhew us, 515 2. To endow annually a number of young men and women in the country, on condition of their clearing for cultivation a certain number of acres, the most conveniently fituated for them. To which lords of manors fhould be invited to contribute on their respective eftates, in confideration of the publick intereft and their own. 3. To exempt, in the country, from the poor's tax, every family that should have children, or any number that may be fixed. 4. In all publick affembles to regulate the ranks between equals, according to the number of their children. B 1. That the number of unmarried men, C and of loofe women, in the town, grows in a direct proportion the one to the other; and hence fo many quarrels and disorders in families. 2. That the great number of prostitutes, of which London alone reckons at leaft 10,000, proceeds in part from the little regard that has been had to preferve for women thofe means of fubfiftance which become their fex. The French fashion has introduced, instead of women head-dreffers, chambermaids, and women cooks, men hair-cutters, valets de chambre for ladies, men cooks, &c. 3. That the ftockholders, at least the life annuitants, people without employ, footmen, and the poor, are, generally E speaking, useless to population. Masters are averfe to their fervants marrying; and even clergymen have the cruelty to refuse marrying those whom they know to be poor, under pretence that their children would become a new burthen to their parish. 4. That the extreme poverty, as well F as excess of riches, joined to the luxury and diffolutenefs which prevail in cities, are become great obftructions both to the fruitfulness and multiplicity of marriages. To fome of thefe diforders, fo deftructive to the human fpecies, I presume to propofe certain remedies. 1. To fubftitute, in lieu of the ex pence of publick fhews and feafts, that G of endowing a number of young men and women, in the country, or in manufacturing towns; of which France fet an example at the birth of the duke of Burgundy, 6. To declare any benefit from collateral inheritances, univerfal legacies or donations, forfeited by every batchelor above 30 years of age, unless he marry within the year of the commencement of his right. 7. To lay upon masters of fervants, in proportion to the number they keep, one or more of the taxes under fpecified, or one compofed out of them. A tax upon the number of fervants in town, not equally at fo much per head, but in proportion to their numbers; as of 1, 4, 16, 64, &c. fhillings, or in fome other proportion. pounds A particular tax of fterling for men cooks, butlers, and valets de chambre, instead of female ones. A tax of fhillings for every footman above feet, inches high, in order to referve for agriculture and the military fervice the most robust and beft made men. A tax of Chillings a head for every unmarried fervant of either fex. 8. To impofe a tax, which might be called the tax on the Unmarried of both fexes, to be differently regulated according to the ages of 15, 18, 21, 25, and upwards, and payable by the fathers and mothers, or by themfelves, when come to the enjoyment of their rights and fortunes. A tax on widowers, and widows, having no children. COLIN Poetical ESSAYS in NOVEMBER, 1754. MNIEL's BLUNDER. 517 The first couple gallop down two couple, and caft up one couple, then gallop up one couple, and caft off one couple, hands fix foot it, and turn your partner, leave them on contrary fides, foot it and turn, and get to your own fides right and left quite round, and hands acrofs quite round with the third couple, lead up to the top, foot it and caft off and whole figure with the top couple. Poetical ESSAYS in NOVEMBER, 1754. MARRIAGE BILL. NAW'D by power, with all thy Well haft thou, Fox, for marriage free- [fin'd, The parent's eye, by narrower views con- Hence all thofe woes, nor pomp nor By thy example we are taught to know, That tyrant at had thwarted heaven's is there: On the Promethean feat the vulture feeds Chafte are the trophies which furround thy bier, run, While ev'ry honest man bestows a tear; built mind, And deals her gifts to madmen-knaves- |