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blessed tincture of divine love in my mind. I feel sweetly abstracted from every thing outward, and wholly lost and swallowed
God. It is true, I have a growing affection for my dear partner, even as for my own flesh; yet this does not lessen, but increase
love to God. I received her at first as the gift of a gracious providence; and the more I know of her, the more am I convinced that she is a most invaluable gift. O may I never be unthankful. May I never 'idolize the creature.' But * earth be a scale to heaven,' and 'all I taste be God.'
“This evening my uncle Pawson and I met together to spend an hour in conversation and prayer. It was a profitable season indeed. While he was speaking of the great privilege of being in favour with the great God of heaven, divine light burst in upon my mind, and I had such views as I seldom have had of the safety and happiness of those who have the Lord for their God, attended with earnest longings to be wholly devoted to him.
· Mon. June 4.-I spent several hours in company with good Mr. Hopper, who has been a preacher of the Gospel about fifty years, and Mr. Pawson. I was greatly edified in hearing them speak of that work of God which was at first little as a human hand, but having spread and grown, now covers all the land. I could not but feel much veneration for these aged servants of my Master, who have borne the burden and the heat of the day. They have laboured, and we have entered into their labours. At first, they were called to suffer much for their Master; and they seem to have had
• A soul inur'd to pain,
To hardships, grief, and loss,
The consecrated cross.'
Now we who succeed them have little to suffer: the scandal of the cross is in a great measure done away. We have, in general, comfortable accommodations, and every thing our heart could wish. Lord, preserve us from lukewarmness, effeminacy, and self-indulgence. O my God, bless me with the spirit of my office. May I enjoy a growing acquaintance with thee; and may I'increase in every gift, and grow in every acquisition that
will be useful or ornamental to me in the work to which Thou hast called me.
· Wed. 6.—Most of the day spent in reading, meditation, and prayer, in which I was much assisted and blessed. I was particularly affected with one thing while meditating on the afflictions of mankind universally; viz. that most people imagine, when they are about changing their situations or circumstances in life, they shall have no crosses, no disappointments; but every thing will answer their wishes. How foolish! because contrary, not only to Scripture, but to the experience of
This is a state of trial and discipline. I expect a great variety of trials, and I have no objection to them; they are necessary. I would only beg of God to give me such trials and afflictions in kind and in degree, as will be most conducive to His glory and my good; an at the same time, to give me ength and comfort according to my day. It seems to me, that none of the occurrences of life, however disagreeable, need deprive me of that peace of conscience and joy in the Holy Ghost, which I have for some time experienced : nay, they cannot, so long as I continue to stay my mind
God and Saviour.
Thur. June 21.—A blessed day indeed. My dear wife and I spent a considerable time this morning in reading an account of the eminent piety of the late Rev. Mr. Fletcher. While engaged in this exercise, we found a flame of holy desire enkindled in our hearts; and saw the amiableness of, and felt longings after, that degree of piety which he attained and practised. We were encouraged by such considerations as these : viz. We are not required to seek holiness in our own strength. He was, by nature, a fallen depraved creature, like ourselves. He came to Christ as a poor sinner, and obtained pardon, and holiness, as free gifts. We have the same compassionate Jesus to come unto; the same promises for our encouragement. We then fell down before our gracious God and Saviour. He poured upon us the spirit of grace and supplication. While I was at prayer, what sweet meltings did I feel : what confidence in God: what holy familiarity: what a lively expectation of obtaining and enjoying the perfect liberty of the children of God. Afterwards, we had the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper in
our family. While engaged in that holy ordinance, I felt much nearness to God in Christ. It was a blessed season indeed. The enemy was exceedingly busy, endeavouring to divert my mind from close attention to the divine presence, but did not succeed. I was convinced that my discouragement in the work of God has been owing principally to a neglect of considering two passages of Scripture:
–Our sufficiency is of God;'—and • Lo! I am with you alway even to the end of the world. If the first was deeply impressed upon my heart, it would keep me humble and sensible of my dependence upon the Lord, while the latter would inspire with courage and confidence. May I learn wisdom by what I have suffered.
“Frid. 22.-Spent principally in reading, meditation, and prayer, in which exercises I was much assisted. O how my soul breathed and panted after a closer communion with my God. In the forenoon I retired into an out-house, and enjoyed freedom in pouring out my heart to him. The principal things for which I felt concerned were the following :—viz. a blessing on a letter I was about to write to my brother James, who was yet unconverted;—that the Lord would do good to several persons who have lately injured me;—and that my God would be with me and my dear partner through every future period of life.
“Sun. 24, Greetland.-Much employed; having to preach three times, and give tickets to a large society: but the presence of God makes hard things easy. I have been much comforted by seeing the work of the Lord still going on, and sinners deeply humbled and penitent, flocking to Jesus. I saw that word exemplified to-day, * Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise. A girl about twelve years old appeared to be thoroughly convinced of sin, and as sensible of her own utter depravity and helplessness, as most grown persons I have known. Many both young and old in this neighbourhood have received the word, not as the word of man, but the word of God with power. O blessed employment—to call sinners to Jesus! May my tongue, and head, and heart, and all, be spent in so divine a service!
“Mon. 25.—This forenoon my dear wife and I went a little out of town to visit a gentlewoman who is gene
rally confined by sickness. It was a profitable visit. In our way there, and on our return home, we were enabled to converse in a spiritual and profitable manner; and while I was endeavouring to comfort the afflicted, the Lord watered my own soul. I think I am one of the happiest of men: God has given me a help-meet who is a continual blessing to me. The marriage state has been truly sanctified to me hitherto. Never did I enjoy so much of God before :—such composure in my private studies—such liberty in my public ministrations. Blessed be God for all his mercies !
I hear from Conference that I am likely to be appointed the Assistant for Bradford Circuit. If so, I shall be in a different capacity from any I have hitherto been in. The souls in that circuit will be more immediately under my care than if I were only a Helper. How important to have 1100 souls under one's care! Who is suficient for these things? I feel my insufficiency; and see the necessity of living nearer to God in order to obtain the necessary qualifications for such an important office. For, certainly, it is important. I am young. It will, therefore be necessary for me to make up
in seriousness and gravity for the want of years, that no man may have any just cause to despise my youth.
“I am inexperienced in many things which will come under my management: in short, I have but little knowledge of men and things. This shows me the necessity of being deliberate; doing nothing rashly, but taking time to think upon, fully consider, and devoutly to pray about every occurrence. I remember Dr. Watts mentions a person who lived in a certain village, that had only a common understanding, yet he was sought unto for advice in critical cases by all his neighbours; and his counsel generally increased his reputation for wisdom and prudence. The reason of this was,—he never was hasty in giving advice; he took time to consider the subject, and every thing that related to it, before he gave his judgment. I am persuaded, this is the method to make a little knowledge go a great way: and I am convinced also, that most of the mistakes I have ever made since I professed religion, may be attributed to a want of considering and practising that advice — Do nothing rashly.' O my God, prepare me for the work to which thou wilt
call me, and enable me faithfully to do and suffer all thy will.
Mon. Aug. 13.—Yesterday I was fully employed, and remarkably assisted and blessed in public and in secret; my own soul was like a watered garden, and I was enabled to preach three times with unusual liberty and energy,—at Bradshaw in the morning from Rev. ii. 17; and in the afternoon from Psalm lxxxix. 15, 16. The place was exceedingly thronged, and excessively hot, so that I sweat through my coat. Then, shaking hands with crowds, I left that affectionate people. In the evening at Halifax, I preached from Heb. xiii. 8: we had the largest congregation I have seen this summer. When I went into the pulpit at night, I saw and felt so much of my own ignorance and weakness, that it seemed impossible I should say any thing that would profit the people. But these blessed words were seasonably and powerfully impressed on my mind, 'Lo, I am with you always,' &c. I therefore cast my care upon the Lord, and was assisted beyond my highest expectations. But I got a sweat through another coat. It is the Lord's work.
‘Happy if with my latest breath,
may but gasp His name,
Glory be to God for what I have enjoyed this day, His presence has made my paradise. I have found in him all I want. It being Elland fair, a season of much sin of various kinds, I went and preached in the neighbourhood in the open air. A multitude of people attended; and I was enabled to speak with freedom and warmth from Hebrews ii. 3. Afterwards I preached at Halifax, much to my own profit, and I hope the people's also. I am quite amazed at the goodness of God to me, especially considering my past ingratitude and unfaithfulness. O
future life declare his goodness.” The reader has already learned from a preceding extract, that my father was appointed by the Conference this year to the Bradford Circuit. The appointments for the Leeds and Bradford Circuits stood thus :
• Leeds—Jno. Allen, Parson Greenwood, W. Percival. “Bradford—Joseph Entwisle, John Grant."