So they were printed in the Minutes for that year, and re-printed in the octavo edition of 1812; but incorrectly: for a little before the Conference closed, an unexpected change took place; my father was removed to Leeds, and Mr. Greenwood to Bradford. The correction appears in the copy of the Stations inserted in the Magazine for Sept. 1792. My father makes the following memorandum on the occasion : "At the close of the late Conference, I was changed from Bradford to Leeds. It appears to me every way providential, and quite unexpected and undesigned by my friends. I esteem it a great favour on many accounts. The people of Leeds are remarkable for their deep and genuine piety; so that I hope I may not only do, but get some good. Yet I enter upon my work with fear. The congregation at Leeds is large, and they have been accustomed to good preaching. I am young, weak, and comparatively inexperienced. Lord, help me!" In the Leeds Circuit, which at that time was extensive, and contained 2100 members, my father had a much wider sphere of usefulness than in any former circuit; perhaps as much so as could have been presented by any in the Connexion. It was an additional cause of thankfulness, that his fellow-labourers were Messrs. Allen and Percival, two excellent men, whom he had known in Manchester, and under whose ministry he had sat with great advantage at an early period in his religious career. With them he laboured most harmoniously; the Lord graciously assisted and blessed him, and encouraged him and his colleagues with a considerable measure of success. The following extracts from his Diary exhibit his devotedness to God, his ministerial diligence and fidelity, and his habitual concern to approve himself to God a faithful steward of the mysteries of the Gospel. "Sun. Sep. 2, 1792.-I arose this morning in a spiritual and prayerful frame of mind. In my way from Kirkstal Forge to Bramley, I enjoyed much sensible communion with God. In the morning I preached from Isa. xxvi. 3; entered into the spirit of the subject, and enjoyed what I so earnestly recommended to others. My mind was kept in a composed state all day; yet I had little freedom in preaching at Armley in the evening. 66 'Sept. 20.-Since I wrote last, my soul has, in general, been like the garden of God. I have enjoyed almost uninterruptedly sensible communion with God, and have been remarkably assisted in preaching. Wed. 26.-I spent the day at Harewood; and took a view of the ruins of an old castle near Harewood, which seems to have been intended by its founders, to stand for ever; but it is now in a ruinous state. Time bears down all before it that is of an earthly nature. I also visited Lord Harewood's house. It is a noble structure indeed; but one stane shall not be left upon another, when the Lord shall arise, not only to shake terribly, but to consume the earth. Blessed be God, 66 "A house I call my own, Which cannot be o'erthrown; Thurs. 27.-Preached this evening at Chapel Town with great liberty. Enjoyed a sense of the divine presence all day; but more especially after preaching at night. In my way between Chapel Town and Leeds, I had such views of the goodness of God as quite overwhelmed me. I felt what is beautifully expressed by our poet,― 'All I have shall sink and die, Lost in astonishment and love.' Thus the Lord prepared me for a painful trial. I had been from home several days; and I thought it no small addition to my comforts that I had a peaceful habitation to go to. But how precarious are all creature enjoyments. When I came near Leeds, I met Dr. H., who informed me that my dear wife had had a dangerous fall down the cellar steps. She was then in a state which rendered such an occurrence very alarming. However, when I came home, to my great surprise, I found there was no danger. All this time my soul enjoyed a perfect calm. I felt exceedingly thankful that it was no worse; and such an assurance that all things work together for good to them that love God,' as I never did before. 66 Wed. Nov. 7.—For several days my mind has been much affected with a consideration of the vanity and un certainty of all earthly enjoyments. My soul is now all athirst for God, longing to be lost and swallowed up in Him. I have been visiting the monuments of Judge Gascoigne and others, once famous, now entombed in Harewood Church. Here ends all human greatness! May I be great in the sight of the Lord. May I be like my Lord and master; and may I be the happy, honoured instrument of saving souls. Let me faithfully serve my generation, and then fall peaceably asleep in thy arms, O blessed Jesus, and I ask no more. 66 Tues. 27.-Riding from Rothwell to Woodlesford I was much profited in singing the hymn which begins 'Behold the servant of the Lord,' &c. My spirit melted before the Lord, and felt vehement desires to be wholly His. While giving vent to these earnest longings of soul to be all devotion to God, these words were inwardly whispered to my heart with such divine power, that I could not doubt from whence they came:-'I accept thee.' Oh! what inward sweetness and serenity I felt. I could not forbear inwardly repeating these words, The Lord will accept of me as his servant.' Never did I see so fully as now, the great privilege of being a servant of God. O may I obtain mercy to be found faithful.” The following day, Nov. 28, he wrote to Mrs. Pawson, (wife of the Rev. John Pawson) and mentioned the gracious manifestation with which he was favoured on the 27th. The following extracts from this letter will shew the godly jealousy with which he watched over and scrutinized his feelings : 66 "MY DEAR AUNT, 66 Halton, Nov. 28, 1792. In compliance with my promise, I now sit down to write a few lines. Through mercy, I got well home to dinner. When I came to my peaceful habitation, I found my dearer self had been extremely ill the day before, but was much better. Our life is chequered, and wisely chequered; for we cannot bear either uninterrupted prosperity or adversity without being too much elated or depressed. I expect trials of various kinds, while I continue in this vale of tears; nor do I wish to be without them; for I am fully persuaded, the Lord will make all things work together for good to them that love him.' "I don't know how it is, but I never am depressed with any worldly trials. I feel-and could wish, when my dear partner is suffering, that I could suffer for her; yet am not depressed, as I see some are. Sometimes I am jealous over myself, and afraid of stoicism. Yet, I find, on examination, that I can, and do, feel another's woe, though he be a stranger. Therefore, I humbly hope, the support I have under trials, and that freedom from anxiety which I enjoy, arise from the confidence I have in the God of providence. I have seen so much of the goodness and mercy of God in the dispensations of His providence towards me, that I cannot call His wisdom, or power, or goodness into question. Besides, I always find that trials make me pray more, and live nearer to God. "When I saw my dear Polly last, she was very well in body, and in a good state of mind: she felt earnest longings to be wholly the Lord's. Our spirits are often much refreshed when conversing and praying together. This sanctifies and sweetens our intercourse, and is the means of increasing more and more our mutual esteem, affection, and confidence. "I find my soul in a very prosperous state this week. I have been much blessed while absent from Leeds, in meeting my dear wife at the throne of grace, which we make a point of doing three times a day, at 10, 3, and 6. We shall really esteem it a privilege to have your incense joined with ours upon the golden altar. 66 * * * * * * "I am, your affectionate and obliged nephew, Thurs. Dec. 6.-There is a great stir about political matters. We seem to be much threatened with commotions in our land. Indeed, all the world seems in an uproar. Certainly, these things are the forerunners of some greater events. Perhaps the Lord is about to pull down despotism in church and state, to open the way for a more general spread of the Gospel. I received a very affectionate anonymous letter to-day, from some one, desiring me to preach a political sermon next Lord's-day evening, telling me, that my compliance therewith 'would greatly oblige numbers of my sincere friends.' I con sidered the matter, and thought it best to be silent for the following reasons:-1. The congregation will be composed of persons whose judgments differ in political matters. 2. Any thing said on either side would offend and irritate the opposite party. 3. Were I to conceal my own sentiments, and tell them I could not enter into the merits of the cause, but exhort all to peace and quietness, perhaps both, or at least the violent of both parties, would consider me as their opponent. 4. The introduction of such a subject into the pulpit, would only raise a ferment in the minds of the people; and might induce numbers to read, think, and dispute on the subject, that otherwise would never have thought of it. 5. Things, at present, are in an unsettled state, and we cannot tell how they will turn; therefore least said, soonest mended.' 6. The pulpit is sacred to better purposes than the discussion of political subjects; and my business in the pulpit is with men's souls, and not with matters of state. 7. Many of the Puritan ministers, in the last century, involved themselves in difficulties by meddling too much with state matters; therefore, I'll keep my fingers out of the fire as long as I can. 8. Were none of the above reasons sufficient to determine me how to act, my own youth and inexperience would be sufficient. I will, through the grace of God, make it my whole business to live to Him, and finish the work He has given me to do. "Mon. 10.—This day I have been employed in visiting the sick and well, meeting classes and preaching. Much profited by reading part of the Memoirs of Dr. Doddridge. While reading of his singular piety, indefatigable laboriousness, and flaming zeal for God and souls, I was humbled and ashamed, yet not discouraged; but in simple dependence on divine grace, resolved to imitate him. O my God, thou knowest it is my greatest grief and burden, that I am not more entirely devoted to thy service. 66 Tues. 11,-Preserved in a watchful, prayerful frame throughout the day. Preached at Hunslet at night with much freedom and fervour from Phil. iii. 20. I found much profit and pleasure too, in preaching the sermon over again to my own heart in my way home. I have good ground to believe that I am no longer a stranger |