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of a strong wind and the beating of the rain against the windows promoted serious reflections. I have seldom in all my life had such views of the awfulness of death and eternity, and the vanity of all earthly enjoyments.

“Frid. 18.—I went to-day to Thorner to visit Miss Pawson. In my way I was much engaged with God in prayer for direction, desiring only to know and do the will of the Lord. I felt inexpressible serenity of mind. Indeed ever since I thought of proposing marriage to her, my mind has been calm and unruffled. In the afternoon I spent about two hours with her, which we began with prayer. I am perfectly satisfied that if she had a suitable affection for me, she would be a most amiable, agreeable, and truly spiritual companion.

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Mon. 21.-This morning I had such liberty in prayer as I scarcely ever experienced before. I laid my present concerns before God with much freedom and familiarity. It appeared to me a very kind providence that had brought me to be acquainted with Mr. Pawson's family. I had such a sense of the goodness of God discovered in his providence from my very infancy to that moment, as melted me down into nothing before the Lord. 'O how manifold are thy mercies which thou shewest unto them that fear thee, unto them that put their trust in thee before the children of men.'

Oh!

"Mon. 28.-Since last Monday, my mind has in general been well employed, composed, and peaceful. A circumstance happened last night which was very peculiar. Some months ago, I had a suspicion from some occurrences, that a person from whom better things might have been expected, had been wounding me secretly. I kept it entirely in my own mind. But last night, by accident, as it were, the whole matter came out. what a great evil is whispering and tale-bearing. It gave me much pain. I arose early this morning, and laid the matter before the Lord, and found much liberty in so doing, especially in praying for a sanctified use of it, and for the person. What shall I learn from this? 1. Never to speak evil of any man. 2. Never to encourage whisperers. 3. To pray for those who do me an injury; for that is the most effectual way to avoid revenge, &c.

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"I met with a person to-day who has been remarkably preserved by the providence of God, and at length brought

into a state of salvation by his grace. His name is John Kershaw, of Hipperholme. The account he gave me is to the following effect. He had been many years in the army, and was fourteen years at Gibraltar. He was there during the last siege by the Spaniards, of which he gave me a most affecting account. Thousands on both sides lost their lives. He frequently saw his fellow-soldiers killed upon the spot, while he himself was exposed like them to cannon-balls and bomb-shells, which have come so near him, that the pressure of the air has struck him down; and yet, amazing! he never received the least scar or wound. All this time he had a degree of the fear of God before his eyes, and often prayed that he might be brought to join with some body of serious people. He says, that about a year ago, he happened to come to our chapel in Halifax, where he heard me preach; and it pleased God under that sermon to convince him of sin, and shew him his need of Christ. He continued from that time to attend preaching, desiring to be brought into closer union with the people of God. About four months ago, one of our pious friends, returning from the preaching on the Lord's day, met with him on the road, and entered into conversation with him, inviting him at the same time to attend the class-meeting. He did so the next week, and the first time he went, the Lord delivered him from all condemnation, and filled his soul with joy unspeakable and full of glory. I admitted him this day upon trial as a member of our Society.

"Glory be to God, who was pleased to make me the unworthy instrument of his conversion. This is the seventh person I have met with, likely to be burning and shining lights, that have been awakened under my instrumentality since I came into this circuit; one of whom, Joshua Dickinson, has begun to preach, and is likely to be useful in his generation. I record this for two ends,―for the glory of God,-and for my own encouragement. Too often my spirits sink; and I am afraid I shall never be of much use in the world. May I learn to proceed steadily and to labour faithfully in my Lord's vineyard, leaving it to him to determine in what way I may be useful. O my God, may I only obtain mercy of thee to be found faithful, and I ask no

more.

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"Sat. Dec. 2.-Yesterday we had the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper in our family. It was a blessed time indeed. We experienced the truth of our Lord's words, 'My flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.' Oh! how my soul melted before God in prayer after we had received the sacred elements. I made a free and full surrender of my all to God to be his for ever. 'I am the clay, Thou art the potter.' O mould me after thine own image!

"Thurs. 8.-A most dreadful day of wind and snow. As I could not satisfy my mind to neglect my place, I set off in the afternoon for Ball Green, above Sowerby. When I got about a mile and a-half from the place, a most dreadful storm met me in the teeth. It seemed as though the skin was torn off my face, and I was obliged to wade through the snow, and draw the mare after me. At last I got to the end of my journey, cold and fatigued. I believe if I had had another mile to go, I should have been unable to hold out. Afterwards I had to go through the snow again near half a mile to preach. In all this I found my mind comfortable.

"Sat. 10.-Yesterday and to-day very much indisposed with the rheumatism in my face and neck, occasioned by the extreme cold on Thursday; yet have enjoyed communion with God, though my spirits have been rather dull. At six o'clock, the hour appointed by Miss Pawson and myself for meeting at the throne of grace, I found much sensible communion with God. Greatly humbled before him on account of my past ingratitude for his mercies, which have followed me all my days. Oh! how bountifully the Lord has dealt with an unworthy worm. It appears to me one of the greatest mercies of my life, that I became acquainted with dear Mr. Pawson and family, and more especially that I am likely to be a branch of the family myself. O Lord, may I be a comfort and a blessing to them, as I believe they will be to me. "Thurs. 22.-Mr. Pawson seems dropsical: and, I fear, we shall soon lose him. If he be called to his reward, I shall lose a faithful friend, and the church of God a pious, laborious, and well-qualified minister. I had some conversation with him in my own room. The substance of what he said was as follows:- 'I am in the hands of an infinitely wise and gracious God. I have

no fear of his dealing wrong with me.

He has an abso

lute right in me. I am not my own; I am his. Hitherto, my life has been a life of great mercy on many accounts; therefore I have no cause at all to entertain any doubts or fears respecting his future conduct towards me.' He said much more to the same purpose, often repeating an observation of Mr. Baxter, that God has an absolute right in us.' I found the conversation truly profitable to my soul. His serious and mortified appearance, together with that composure and inexpressible serenity which one might perceive in him, made a deep impression upon my mind, which I hope will never be erased. But, O Lord, spare him a little longer to his friends and the church. Have mercy upon us, lest we should have sorrow upon sorrow. How alarming it is, to see one aged, useful minister after another dropping off. O thou great Head of the church, raise up others to succeed them. I see myself so very defective, thou Lord knowest, that I fear I never shall be qualified for it. Take me, O Lord, into thine own hand, and make me— O make me what I ought to be.

“Tues. Jan. 3, 1792.-Paid a visit to Thorner to-day. In my way to Leeds my mind was much engaged in prayer for direction. Dined with Mr. Wood at Leeds: he seems to be much devoted to God, and to possess a great degree of recollection of mind. Mr. Pawson met me at Leeds, and we rode together to Thorner. He acts like a true Christian parent.

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Friday, 6.-Set out on my return home: had a profitable season at the Intercession Meeting at Leeds: much assisted in prayer: dined again with Mr. Wood; and had some useful and spiritual conversation with him. O that I could imitate his seriousness and spirituality.

“Thurs. 12.—I retired at six o'clock this evening for prayer the hour set apart by my dear Miss P. and myself for mutual prayer. I was led to ask myself this question:- -What end have I in view?' At first I felt a jealousy over my own heart, lest I should deceive myself. However, upon a serious examination of my conduct, and the principles and designs of it, I concluded my end was good. For, 1. I believe I was formed for social and domestic life. 2. I do not think that a single state is in itself more holy than the married state; be

cause marriage was instituted for man, in a state of innocency. 3. I believe a man may glorify God more in a married than in a single state; because he has the opportunity of glorifying him in the relations of a husband and father. 4. It appears to me, that to assert a man cannot glorify God as much in a married state as in a single life, is in effect to say that marriage is unlawful; for it is unlawful for a man to do any thing that hinders him from glorifying God. 5. I think the reason why many do not increase in holiness in a married state is to be found in their neglect of spiritual conversation, united prayer, and the other duties of their station. Though many cares to which single persons are strangers, are inseparable from the married state, yet it has its advantages. 7. I think St. Paul has a view to 'the present distress,' that is, persecution, when he gives his opinion in favour of a single life. 8. The most holy and the most useful men I have ever been acquainted with, have been married men. Most of the pious puritans were married; and many of the most holy and useful persons mentioned in the Scriptures,-Enoch, Abraham, Moses, &c."

6.

After some other observations, he adds, "Now, my God, I leave this matter with thee. Succeed or blast my designs, as will be most for thy glory, whether it be pleasing or painful to me.

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Amen.

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Feb. 1.I have been much affected by conversing with a man who was mending the road, and who was awakened some time ago 'under my ministy. I felt a strong desire to say something which might be of use to him. While speaking to him and hearing him declare the peace and joy he felt, my soul was much comforted. Sat. Feb. 11.-Some occurrences this afternoon gave me much concern. Mr. Pawson received a very unkind letter from Mr. T. respecting his having administered the Sacrament; and from what he says, I fear we shall have something disagreeable on that subject at the Conference. I cannot but perceive, with concern, a great degree of human policy and too little spirituality in some of the leading men in our Connexion. Unless God interpose in a remarkable manner, I fear we shall have divisions among us. I have observed that some high spirits who are zealous for 'the Church,' are boisterous

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