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bawdry, which is strange; with such delicate burdens of dildos and fadings ;l jump her and thump her; and where some stretch-mouthed rascal would, as it were, mean mischief, and break a foul gap into the matter, he makes the maid to answer, Whoop, do me no harm, good man; puts him off, slights him, with Whoop, do me no harm, good man?
Pol. This is a brave fellow.
Clo. Believe me, thou talkest of an admirable conceited fellow. Has he any unbraided wares?3
Serv. He hath ribands of all the colors i'the rainbow; points,4 more than all the lawyers in Bohemia can learnedly handle, though they come to him by the gross; inkles,5 caddisses,6 cambrics, lawns. Why, he sings them over, as they were gods or goddesses; you would think a smock were a she-angel; he so chants to the sleeve-hand,7 and the work about the square on't.8
Clo. Pr'ythee, bring him in; and let him approach singing.
Per. Forewarn him, that he use no scurrilous words in his tunes.
Clo. You have of these pedlers, that have more in 'em than you'd think, sister.
Per. Ay, good brother, or go about to think.
Enter Autolycus, singing.
Lawn, as white as driven snow;
1 "With a hie dildo dill, and a dUdo dee," is the burden of an old ballad or two. Fading is also another burden to a ballad found in Shirley's Bird in a Cage; and perhaps to others.
2 This was also the burden of an old ballad.
3 i. e. undamaged wares, true and good.
4 Points, upon which lies the quibble, were laces with tags. 5 A kind of tape.
6 A kind of ferret or worsted lace. 7 Sleeve-hand, the cuffs, or wristband.
8 The work about the bosom of it
Perfume for a lady's chamber;
Golden quoifs, and stomachers,
For my lads to give their dears;
Pins, and poking-sticks of steel,1
What maids lack from head to heel.
Come, buy of me, come; come buy, come buy;
Buy, lads, or else your lasses cry;
Come buy, &c.
Clo. If I were not in love with Mopsa, thou shouldst take no money of me; but being enthralled as I am, it will also be the bondage of certain ribands and gloves.
Mop. I was promised them against the feast; but they come not too late now.
Dor. He hath promised you more than that, or there be liars.
Mop. He hath paid you all he promised you; may be, he has paid you more; which will shame you to give him again.
Clo. Is there no manners left among maids? Will they wear their plackets2 where they should bear their faces? Is there not a milking-time, when you are going to bed, or kiln-hole,3 to whistle off these secrets; but you must be tittle-tattling before all our guests? 'Tis well, they are whispering. Clamor your tongues,4 and not a word more.
Mop. I have done. Come, you promised me a tawdry lace,5 and a pair of sweet gloves.6
1 A stick of metal or wood, used by the laundress in plaiting ruffles. 2 i. e. stomacher.
3 The kiln-hole generally means the fireplace for drying malt; still a noted gossiping place.
4 An expression taken from bell-ringing; now contracted to clam. The bells are said to be clammed, when, after a course of rounds or changes, they are all pulled off at once, and give a general clash or clam, by which the peal is concluded. As this clam is succeeded by a silence, it exactly suits the sense of the passage.
5 A tawdry lace was a sort of necklace worn by country wenches. 6 Sweet, or perfumed gloves, are often mentioned by Shakspeare; they were very much esteemed, and a frequent present in the Poet's time.
Clo. Have I not told thee how I was cozened by the way, and lost all my money?
Aut. And, indeed, sir, there are cozeners abroad; therefore it behoves men to be wary.
Clo. Fear not thou, man; thou shalt lose nothing here.
Aut. I hope so, sir; for I have about me many parcels of charge.
Clo. What hast here? ballads?
Mop. 'Pray now, buy some. I love a ballad in print, a'-life; for then we are sure they are true.
Aut. Here's one to a very doleful tune, How a usurer's wife was brought to bed of twenty money-bags at a burden; and how she longed to eat adders' heads, and toads carbonadoed.
Mop. Is it true, think you?
Aut. Very true; and but a month old.
Dor. Bless me from marrying an usurer!
Aut. Here's the midwife's name to't, one mistress Taleporter; and five or six honest wives, that were present. Why should I carry lies abroad?
Mop. 'Pray you now, buy it.
Clo. Come on, lay it by. And let's first see more ballads; we'll buy the other things anon.
Aut. Here's another ballad, of a fish, that appeared upon the coast, on Wednesday the fourscore of April, forty thousand fathom above water, and sung this ballad against the hard hearts of maids; it was thought she was a woman, and was turned into a cold fish, for she would not exchange flesh with one that loved her. The ballad is very pitiful, and as true.
Dor. Is it true, think you?
Aut. Five justices' hands at it; and witnesses, more than my pack will hold.
Clo. Lay it by too. Another.
Aut. This is a merry ballad; but a very pretty one.
Mop. Let's have some merry ones. Aut. Why, this is a passing merry one; and goes to the tune of, Two maids wooing a man. There's scarce a maid westward, but she sings it; 'tis in request, I can tell you.
Mop. We can both sing it: if thou'lt bear a part, thou shalt hear; 'tis in three parts.
Dor. We had the tune on't a month ago.
Aut. I can bear my part; you must know, 'tis my occupation; have at it with you.
A. Get you hence, for I must go;
D. Whither? M. O whither? D. Whither?
D. Me too, let me go thither.
A. Neither. D. What, neither? A. Neither.
Then, whithergo^st? Say, whither?
Clo. We'll have this song out anon by ourselves. My father and the gentleman are in sad talk, and we'll not trouble them. Come, bring away thy pack after me. Wenches, I'll buy for you both.—Pedler, let's have the first choice.—Follow me, girls.
Aut. And you shall pay well for 'em. [Aside.
Will you buy any tape,
Or lace for your cape,
Any silk, any thread,
Any toys for your head,
Come to the pedler;
Money* s a medler,
[Exeunt Clown, Aut., Dorc, and Mopsa. Enter a Servant,
1 A sale or utterance of ware.
Serv Master, there is three carters, three shepherds, three neat-herds, three swine-herds, that have made themselves all men of hair; they call themselves saltiers ;l and they have a dance, which the wenches say is a gallimaufry of gambols, because they are not in't; but they themselves are o' the mind (if it be not too rough for some, that know little but bowling) it will please plentifully.
Shep. Away! we'll none on't; here has been too much homely foolery already.—I know, sir, we weary you.
Pol. You weary those that refresh us. Pray, let's see these four threes of herdsmen.
Serv. One three of them, by their own report, sir, hath danced before the king; and not the worst of the three, but jumps twelve foot and a half by the squire.2
Shep. Leave your prating; since these good men are pleased, let them come in; but quickly now.
Serv. Why, they stay at door, sir. [Exit.
Re-enter Servant, with twelve Rustics habited like Satyrs. They dance, and then exeunt.
Pol. O, father, you'll know more of that hereafter.—3
Is it not too far gone ?—'Tis time to part them.— He's simple, and tells much. [Aside.']—How now, fair shepherd?
Your heart is full of something, that does take Your mind from feasting. Sooth, when I was young, And handed love, as you do, I was wont To load my she with knacks. I would have ransacked
The pedler's silken treasury, and have poured it
1 Satyrs. 2 Foot rule (esquierre, Fr.)
3 This is an answer to something which the shepherd is supposed to have said to Polixenes during the dance. Vol.in. 10