Selby, taking an airing on horseback, told him the visitor he was likely to have. My uncle instantly dispatched his servant to us with the tidings, and that he was gone to meet him, in hopes of conducting him hither. This news gave me such emotion, being not well before, that my aunt advised me to retire to my closet, and endeavour to quiet my spirits. Here then I am, my dear Lady G- and the writing-implements being always at hand in this place, I took up my pen. It is not possible for me to write at this time, but to you, and on this subject. It is good for a busy mind to have something to be employed in; and I think, now I am amusing myself on paper, my heart is a little more governable than it was. I am glad we heard of his coming before we saw him. But surely Sir Charles Grandison should not have attempted to surprise us: should he, my dear? Does it not look like the pride of a man assured of a joyful welcome? I have read of princes, who, acquainted with their ladies by picture only, and having been married by proxy, have set out to their frontiers incognito, and in disguise have affected to surprise the poor apprehensive bride.-But here, not only circumstances differ, since there has been no betrothment; but, were he of princely rank, I should have expected a more delicate treatment from him. How will the consciousness of inferiority and obligation set a proud and punctilious mind upon hunting for occasions to justify its caprices! A servant of Sir Charles is just arrived with a billet, directed for my Uncle Selby. My aunt opened it. It is dated from Stratford. The contents are, after compliments of inquiry of our healths, to acquaint my uncle, that he shall put up at the George, at Northampton, this night; and hopes to be allowed to pay his compliments to us to-morrow morning, at breakfast; so he did not intend to give himself the consequence, of which my capricious heart was so apprehensive. Yet then, as if resolved to find fault, Is not this a little too parading for his natural freedom? thought I; or does he think we should not be able to outlive our joyful surprise, if he gave us not notice of his arrival in these parts before he saw us?-O Clementina! Goddess! Angel! What a mere mortal, what a woman, dost thou make the poor Harriet Byron appear in her own eyes! How apprehensive of coming after thee! The sense I have of my own littleness, will make me little indeed! Well, but I presume, that if my uncle and Mr Deane meet him, they will prevail upon him to come hither this night; yet I suppose he must be allowed to go to the proposed inn afterwards -But here he is come!-Come, indeed! My uncle in the chariot with him! My cousin and Mr Deane, Sally tells me, just alighted. Sally adores Sir Charles Grandison-Begone, Sally. Thy emotions, foolish girl, add to those of thy mistress! THAT I might avoid the appearance of affectation, I was going down to welcome him, when I met my uncle on the stairs. Niece Byron, said he, you have not done justice to Sir Charles Grandison. I thought your love-sick heart [What words were these, my dear! and at that moment too! must have been partial to him. He prevailed on me to go into his chariot. You may think yourself very happy. For fifteen miles together did he talk of nobody but you. Let me go down with you; let me present you to him. I had before besought my spirits to befriend me, but for one half hour. Surely there is nothing so unwelcome as an unseasonable jest. Present me to him! Love-sick heart! O my uncle! thought I. I was unable to proceed. I hastened back to my closet, as much disconcerted as a child could be, who, having taken pains to get its lesson by heart, dashed by a chiding countenance, forgot every syllable of it when it came to say it. You know, my dear, that I had not of some time been well. My spirits were weak, and joy was almost as painful to me as grief could have been. My aunt came up-My love, why don't you come down?-What now! Why in tears?You will appear, to the finest man I ever saw in my life, very particular!-Mr Deane is in love with him: Your cousin James Dear madam, I am already, when I make comparisons between him and myself, humbled enough with his excellencies. I did intend to avoid particularity; but my uncle has quite disconcerted me-Yet he always means well: I ought not to complain. I attend you, madam. Can you, Lady G, forgive my pride, my petulance? My aunt went down before me. Sir Charles hastened to me, the moment I appeared, with an air of respectful love. He took my hand, and bowing upon it, I rejoice to see my dear Miss Byron; and to see her so well. How many sufferers must there be, when you suffer! I bid him welcome to England. I hope he heard me: I could not help speaking low: he must observe my discomposure. He led me to a seat, and sat down by me, still holding my hand. I withdrew it not presently, lest he should think me precise; but, as there were so many persons present, I thought it was free in Sir Charles Grandison. Yet, perhaps, he could not well quit it, as I did not withdraw it; so that the fault might be rather in my passiveness, than in his forwardness. However, I asked my aunt afterwards, if his looks were not those of a man assured of suc cess; as, indeed, he might be from my grandmother's letter, and my silence to his. She said, there was a manly freedom in his address to me; but that it had such a mixture of tenderness in it, that never, in her eyes, was freedom so becoming. While he was restrained by his situation, added she, no wonder that he treated you with respect, only as a friend; but now he finds himself at liberty to address you, his behaviour ought, as a lover, to have been just what it was. Sir Charles led me into talk, by mentioning you and Lady L- -, your two lords, and my Emily. My uncle and aunt withdrew, and had some little canvassings, it seems, [All their canvassings are those of assured lovers,] about the propriety of my uncle's invitation to Sir Charles to take up his residence, while he was in these parts, at Selby-House. My uncle, at coming in, had directed Sir Charles's servants to put up their horses; but they not having their master's orders to do so, held themselves in readiness to attend him; as they knew that Sir Charles had given directions to his gentleman, Richard Saunders, who brought the billet to my uncle, to go back to Northampton, and provide apartments for him at the George Inn there. My aunt, who you know is a perfect judge of points of decorum, pleaded to my uncle, that it was too well known among our select friends, by Mr Greville's means, that Sir Charles had never before made his addresses to me; and that, therefore, though he was to be treated as a man whose alliance is considered as an honour to us; yet that some measures were to be kept, as to the look of the thing; and that the world might not conclude that I was to be won at his very first appearance; and the rather, as Mr Greville's violence, as well as virulence, was so well known. My uncle was petulant. I, said he, am always in the wrong you women, never. He ran into all those peculiarities of words, for which you have so often rallied him-His ads-hearts, his female scrupulosities, his what a pize, his hatred of shilly-shallys and fiddle-faddles, and the rest of our female nonsenses, as he calls them. He hoped to salute his niece, as Lady Grandison, in a fortnight: What a deuce was the matter it could not be so, both sides now of a mind?He warned my aunt, and bid her warn me, against affectation, now the crisis was at hand. Sir Charles, he said, would think meanly of us, if we were silly: and then came in another of his odd words: Sir Charles, he said, had been so much already bamboozled, that he would not have patience with us: and therefore, and for all these reasons, as he called them, he desired that Sir Charles might not be suffered to go out of the house, and to an inn; and this as well for the propriety of the thing, as for the credit of his own invitation to him. My aunt replied, that Sir Charles himself would expect delicacy from us. It was evident that he expected not (no doubt for the sake of the world's eye) to reside in the house with me on his first visit, by his having ordered his servant who brought the billet, to take apartments for him at Northampton, even not designing to visit us over-night, had he not been met by Mr Deane and himself, and persuaded to come. In short, my dear, said my aunt, I am as much concerned about Sir Charles's own opinion of our conduct, as for that of the world; yet you know that every genteel family around us expects examples from us and Harriet. If Sir Charles is not with us, the oftener he visits us, the more respectful it will be construed. I hope he will live with us all day, and every day; but, indeed, it must be as a visitor, not as an inmate. Why then bring me off somehow, that I may not seem the blunderer you are always making me by your documents-Will you do that? When my uncle and aunt came in, they found Sir Charles, and Mr Deane, and me, talking. Our subject was, the happiness of Lord and Lady W- and the whole Mansfield family, with whom Mr Deane, who began the discourse, is well acquainted. Sir Charles arose at their entrance. The night draws on, said he-I will do myself the honour of attending you, madam, and this happy family, at tea in the morning-My good Mr Selby, I had a design upon you, and Mr Deane, and upon you, young gentleman, (to my cousin James,) as I told you on the road; but it is now too late. Adieu, till to-morrowHe bowed to each, to me profoundly, kissing my hand; and went to his chariot. My uncle whispered my aunt, as we all attended him to that door of the hall which leads into the court-yard, to invite him to stay Hang punctilio! he said. My aunt wanted to speak to Sir Charles; yet, she owned she knew not what to say; such a conscious awkwardness had, indeed, possession of us both, as made us uneasy; we thought all was not right; yet knew not that we were wrong. But when Sir Charles's chariot drove away with him, and we took our seats, and supper was talked of, we all of us shewed dissatisfaction; and my uncle was quite out of humour. He would give a thousand pounds, he said, with all his heart and soul, to find in the morning, Sir Charles, instead of coming hither to breakfast, had set out on his return to London. For my part, Lady G———, I could not bear these recriminations. I begged to be excused sitting down to supper. I was not well; and this odd situation added uneasiness to my indisposition; a dissatisfaction, that I find will mingle with our highest enjoyments; nor were the beloved company I left happier. They canvassed the matter, with so much good-natured earnestness, that the supper was taken away, as it was brought, at a late hour. What, my dear Lady G, in your opinion, should we have done? Were we right, or were we wrong? Over-delicacy, as I have heard observed, is under-delicacy. You, my dear, your lord, our Emily, and Dr Bartlett, all standing in so well-known a degree of relation to Sir Charles Grandison, were our most welcome guests; and was not the brother to be received with equal warmth of respect?-O no! Custom, it seems, tyrant custom, and the apprehended opinion of the world, obliged us (especially as so much bustle had been made about me, by men so bold, so impetuous) to shew him-Shew him what?-In effect, that we had expectations upon him, which we could not have upon his brother and sister; and, therefore, because we hoped he would be more near, we were to keep him at the greater distance !-What an indirect acknowledgment was this in his favour, were there room for him to doubt! Which, however, there could not be. What would I give, said my aunt to me, this moment, to know his thoughts of the matter! We are now in expectation-My aunt and I, though early risers, hurried ourselves to get everything, that, however, is never out of order, in high order. Both of us have a kind of consciousness of defect, where yet we cannot find reason for it: If we did, we should supply it. Yet we are careful that everything has a natural, not an extraordinary, appearance-Ease, with propriety, shall be our aim. My aunt says, that were the king to make us a visit, she is sure she could not have a greater desire to please. I will go down, that I may avoid the appearance of parade and reserve, when he comes. HERE, in her closet, again, is your poor Harriet. Surely the determined single state is the happiest of lives, to young women, who have the greatness of mind to be above valuing the admiration and flatteries of the other sex. What tumults, what a contrariety of passions, break the tranquillity of the woman who yields up her heart to love?-No Sir Charles Grandison, my dear!-Yet ten o'clock !-He is a very prudent man!-No expectations hurry or discompose him! -Charming steadiness of soul! A fine thing for himself, but far otherwise for the woman, when a man is secure! He will possibly ask me, and hold again my passive hand, in presence of half a score of my friends, Whether I was greatly uneasy because of his absence? But let me try to excuse him. May he not have forgot his engagement? May he not have overslept himself?-Some agreeable dream of the Bologna family-I am offended at him-Did he learn his tranquillity in Italy?-O, no, no, Lady G! I now cannot help looking back for other faults in him with regard to me. My memory is not, however, so malicious as I would have it be. But do you think every man, in the like situa tion, would have stopt at Stratford to dine by himself? Not but your brother can be very happy in his own company. If he cannot, who can? But, as to that, his horses might require rest, as well as baiting: one knows not in how short a time he might have prosecuted his jour ney so far. He who will not suffer the noblest of all animals to be deprived of an ornament, would be merciful to them in greater instances. He says that he cannot bear indignity from superiors. Neither can we. In that light he appears to us. But why so?-My heart, Lady G, begins to swell, I assure you ; and it is twice as big as it was last night. My uncle, before I came up, sat with his watch in his hand, from half an hour after nine, till near ten, telling the minutes as they crept. Mr Deane often looked at me, and at my aunt, as if to see how we bore it. I blushed; looked silly, as if your brother's faults were mine.Over in a fortnight! cried my uncle; ads-heart, I believe it will be half a year before we shall come to the question. But Sir Charles, to be sure, is offended. Your confounded female niceties! My heart rose-Let him, if he dare, thought the proud Harriet. God grant, added my uncle, that he may be gone up to town again! Perhaps, said Mr Deane, he is gone, by mistake, to Mrs Shirley's. We then endeavoured to recollect the words of his self-invitation thither. My cousin James proposed to take horse, and go to Northampton, to inform himself of the occasion of his not coming: some misfortune, perhaps. Had he not servants, my aunt asked, one of whom he might have sent?-Shall my cousin Jemmy go, however, Harriet? said she. No, indeed, answered I, with an air of anger. My teazing uncle broke out into a loud laugh, which, however, had more of vexedness than mirth in it. He is certainly gone to London, Harriet! Just as I said, Dame Selby !-Certainly tearing up the road; his very horses resenting, for their master, your scrupulosities. You'll hear from him next, at London, my life for yours, niece-Hah, hah, hah! What will your grandmamma say, by and by? Lucy, Nancy, how will they stare! Last night's supper, and this day's dinner, will be alike served in, and taken away. I could not stand all this: I arose from my seat. Are you not unkind, sir? said I to my uncle, curtseying to him, however; and, desiring his and Mr Deane's excuse, quitted the breakfasting parlour. Teazing man! said my aunt. Mr Deane also blamed him; gently, however; for everybody acknowledges his good heart, and natural good temper. What visitor, said I, can make a man stay against his mind? Who can get rid politely of an impertinent visitor, if Sir Charles Grandison cannot, on a previous engagement ?-But come, madam, I attend you.-Down we went. My uncle was out of patience. I was sorry for it. I tried to make the best of it; yet, but to pacify him, should perhaps have had petulance enough myself to make the worst of it. Oy, oy, with all my heart, said he, in answer to my excuses, let us hear what Sir Charles has to say for himself. But, old as I am, were my Dame Selby to give me another chance, no man on earth, I can tell you, should keep me from a previous engagement with my mistress. It is kind of you, Harriet, to excuse him, however: Love hides a multitude of faults. My aunt said not one syllable in behalf of Sir Charles. She is vexed and disappointed. We made a very short breakfasting; and looked upon one another as people who would have helped themselves, if they could. Mr Deane, however, would engage, he said, that we should be satisfied with Sir Charles's excuses, when we came to hear them. My aunt followed me to the door; and, taking my hand, Harriet, said she, speaking low, not Sir Charles Grandison himself shall call you his, if he is capable of treating you with the But, my dear, this man, this visitor, whoever least indifference. I understand not this, added he is, must be of prodigious importance, to deshe: he cannot surely be offended.-I hope all tain him from an engagement that I had hoped will be cleared up before your grandmamma might have been thought a first engagement; comes; she will be very jealous of the honour-yet owned to be impertinent. And must not of her girl. I answered not: I could not answer: but hastened up to my place of refuge; and, after wiping from my cheeks a few tears of real vexation, took up my pen. You love to know my thoughts as occasions arise. You bid me continue to write to the moment-Here comes my the accident be very uncommon, that should bring such a one, stranger as Sir Charles is, in his way? Yet this might very well happen, my uncle observes, at an inn, whither we thought fit to send him. Now I think of it, I was strangely disturbed last night in my imperfect slumbers: Something, I thought, was to happen to prevent me ever being his. But hence, recollection! I chase thee from me. Yet when realities disturb, shadows will officiously intrude on the busy imagination as realities. LETTER CCXX. MISS BYRON. [In continuation.] Friday, 2 o'clock. I AM stolen up again, to tell you how it is. I never will be petulant again-Dear sir, forgive me! How wicked in us all, but my grandmamma and Mr Deane, to blame a man who cannot be guilty of a wilful fault! The fault is all my aunt's and mine-Was my aunt ever in fault before? We were all together when he entered. He addressed himself to us in that noble manner which engages everybody in his favour, at first sight. How, said he, bowing to every one, have I suffered, in being hindered by an unhappy man, from doing myself the honour of attending you sooner! You see, my dear, he made not apologies to me, as if he supposed me disappointed by his absence. I was afraid he would. I know I looked very grave. He then particularly addressed himself to each; to me first; next to my grandmamma; and, taking one of her hands between both his, and bowing upon it, I rejoice to see you, madam, said he Your last favours will ever be remembered by me with gratitude. I see you well, I hope. Your Miss Byron will be well, if you are; and our joy (looking round him) will then be complete. She bowed her head, pleased with the compliment. I was still a little sullen; otherwise I should have been pleased too, that he made my health depend on that of my grandmamma. Madam, said he, turning to my aunt, I am afraid I made you wait for me at breakfast. A most impertinent visitor! He put me out of humour. I dared not to let you and yours (looking at me) see how much I could be out of humour. I am naturally passionate: But passion is so ugly, so deforming a thing, that, if I can help it, I will never, by those I love, be seen in it. I am sorry, sir, said my aunt, you met with anything to disturb you. My uncle's spirit had not come down: He, too, was sullen in behalf of the punctilio of the girl whom he honours with his jealous love. How, how is that, Sir Charles? said he. My aunt presented Lucy and Nancy to him: but before she could name either-Miss Selby, said he, Miss Byron's own Lucy, I am sure. Miss Nancy Selby!-I know your characters, ladies! saluting each; and I know the interest you have in Miss Byron-Honour me with your approbation, and that will be to give me hope of hers. He then, turning to my uncle and Mr Deane, and taking a hand of each-My dear Mr Deane smiles upon me, said he-But Mr Selby looks grave. At-ten-tive only, Sir Charles, to the cause of your being put out of humour, that's all. The cause, Mr Selby!-Know, then, I met with a man at my inn, who would force himself upon me: Do you know I am a quarrelsome man? He was so hardy as to declare, that he had pretensions to a lady in this company, which he was determined to assert. O that Greville! said my aunt I was ready to sink. Wretched Harriet! thought I, at the instant: Am I to be for ever the occasion of embroiling this excellent man! Dear, dear Sir Charles, said one, said another, all at once, How, how, was it? Both safe, both unhurt, replied he. No more of the rash man, at this time. He is to be pitied. He loves Miss Byron to distraction. This comes of nicety! whispered my uncle to my aunt; foolish nicety!-To let such a man as this go to an inn!-Inhospitable! vile punctilio! Then, turning to Sir Charles-Dear sir, forgive me! I was a little serious, that I must own. I pulled my uncle by the sleeve, fearing he would say too much by way of atonement for his seriousness: I, I, I, was a little serious, I must own-I, I, I, was afraid something was the matter-turned he off, what he was going to say-too freely, shall I add?-Hardly so! had he said what he would; though habitual punctilio made me almost involuntarily twitch my uncle by the sleeve; for my heart would have directed my lips to utter the kindest things; but my concern was too great to allow them to obey it. I must go down, Lady G. I am inquired after it is just dinner-time.-Let me only add, that Sir Charles waived farther talk of the affair between him and that wretch, while I staid-Perhaps they have got it out of him since I came up. I SHALL be so proud, my dear !—A thousand fine things he has said of your Harriet, in her little absence! How is he respected, how is he admired, by all my friends! My grandmamma, with all her equanimity, has much ado to suppress her joyful emotions: And he is so respectfully tender to her, that, had he not had my heart before, he would have won it now. He had again waived the relation of the insult he met with. Mr Greville himself, he supposed, would give it. He had a mind to see if the gentleman, by his report of it, was a gentleman. Thank God, said he, I have not hurt a man who boasts of his passion for Miss Byron; and of his neighbourhood to this family! OUR places were chosen for us at table: Sir Charles's next me. Cannot I be too minute, do |