that regard and kindness, which had been extended to their deceased parents in the days of their prosperity;-a test which the friendship of the world can but seldom bear.

For some time after the separation of our family before hinted at, had taken place, my attention was fully occupied; until the party, who had taken to the business, became acquainted with its usual routine. The master of the house, holding a post in a public office under government, which required his regular attendance, was absent every day until after dinner; and as his family consisted only of very young children, I had no associates but among the servants; whose example did not fail to have in many things a baneful influence on my thoughtless mind, though at the time imperceptible, and the consequences unregarded. Yet I was at times desirous that a situation in a well conducted family, with whom in the days of my parents we had been intimately acquainted, would offer for me; which in all respects would have been much more guarded, than that in which I was; but in this my hope was disappointed.

and obey the gospel in the secret of their hearts revealed, which is "the power of God unto salvation." But although ready to shudder at the prospect before me, I feel strengthHaving brought my little narrative to this ened to proceed, so far as I may rightly do, point, it seems necessary to determine in what from a belief that the work in which I am manner it shall be carried forward, before we now engaged, is prompted in mercy, and will proceed any further. After due consideration, not be in vain, peradventure to myself, if not I am of the mind that it should be hereafter to another. For if permitted to finish it, I confined principally to events relating to my-shall have had another opportunity afforded, self; only in future bringing into view other even at this late hour, for repentance,—a truly branches of the family, when the hand of great and blessed privilege to every sinner. time shall, through the over-ruling providence And how much more shall I owe unto my of Almighty God, have again led some of us Lord, if in the course of a diligent search, it into connection with each other at periods far should please the "faithful witness," in conremote: one of which was made productive descension to discover to the view of my mind of the most striking and important change in sins, which, through the subtle working of the the history of my life; and which I humbly grand adversary, have been partly hidden and hope will lead to the accomplishment of an- imperfectly repented of. other, transcendently greater and everlasting, at my death. But, reader, if the power to choose were mine, to draw an impenetrable shade over the next several years would best suit my natural inclination; it would save me many pangs, and I should at once bring thee to the time when I could tell thee with delight, "what the Lord hath done for my soul." But with these years omitted, the long-suffering and unutterable goodness of my gracious God and Saviour would be eclipsed, his tender mercies would be ungratefully robbed of their lustre, the riches of his grace obscured, and its glory hidden. I must therefore, like the regular and progressive gradations of nature, proceed from those days of childhood and youth, at which I had now arrived,-would that I could say, of innocency. But ah! at this distance of time, I can painfully trace the springings up of the evil root, which failed not at an early age to bring forth fruit of those things "whereof I am now ashamed;" hav- There was a merchant in the city, who had ing sorrowfully found from woful experience, long shown much friendship for us; on whom that their "end is death." Canst thou then without any particular reason I kept an eye, wonder at the shrinking of human nature as one who was likely to befriend me. He from the task of thus re-opening a dark pic- frequently called on business and one day ture of guilt? such as I pray it may never be on perceiving him coming, it occurred to me thy lot to know, or to have to render an ac- immediately, that his business was on my becount of, as thine own. Though now in full half. This proved to be the case: for in a abhorrence of the same, through the mercy short time I was sent for, and informed that of God in Christ Jesus, I have a hope that he had obtained a situation for me, on board my sins, though many, will be forgiven, and a ship then lying in the Thames, fitting out for ever blotted out as "a thick cloud;" and for Oporto, commanded by a respectable man, that my tribulated soul will yet be cleansed a lieutenant in the navy, then on half pay; by the precious "blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel." This only "cried from the ground" for vengeance against the offender; whilst the blood of Him who cried-"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," cleanseth from all sin, and was shed for many, for the remission of sins,—yea, for all that repent, believe,

she belonged to some merchants with whom he was connected in the import trade. This offer was at once accepted on my part, and I suppose that any other would at that time have been the same, without regard to choice; as I do not remember that one occupation had any preference with me rather than another. I am not aware that any attempt was made to

dissuade me from this undertaking, by those whose sentiments would have been regarded, or by any other person; so that the needful preparation was immediately made for this unexpected change of station.

fare, as an important foundation stone, upon which my nautical career would at a future day be established. The change, however specious in appearance at the time, was to me but as an introduction to a school, which is not often I should not feel easy without noticing in equalled, and but seldom surpassed, for vice this place, for the benefit of others, the mani- and immorality. After the necessary equip fold temptations to which young people are ments were provided, I took leave of my necessarily exposed, when brought up to trades youngest sister, who was still at Putney at similar to that in which I was then employed. school, and of some of those with whom we From the nature of these trades, there is were the most intimately acquainted, and I scarcely a probability of escape from insensi-joined the ship at Plymouth. The situation I bly falling into habits, much more readily ac- had now obtained, was for some time much quired than shaken off, of tasting different less comfortable than the one in which I had kinds of wines and strong liquors, which too often lead the way to intemperance. The injurious effects of these practices, and of such exposure at an early age, having been felt and witnessed by myself, make me the more desirous to warn others against the business.

been engaged. Before, I had been placed amongst only a few strangers, but now the crew altogether consisted of many; and being an entire stranger to naval etiquette, my situation was dull and mortifying; particularly as from my not having completed my fourBut a short time elapsed before I went on teenth year, all those of the officers with whom board the ship, which, in a few days, proceeded I could use freedom, were several years older to Gravesend. The weather being rough, we than myself. It was not long before we left were detained a day or two at the Nore; and the harbour, and sailed for the Isle of Man after reaching the Downs, we were again hin- station. This was a stormy and dangerous dered by boisterous and contrary winds for passage, in which, through divine mercy, we more than a fortnight. From these and other were favoured to witness a marvellous predetentions at sea, the ship was too late to pro-servation from shipwreck,-the dawn of day cure a cargo in Portugal, which resulted in discovering to us just in time the small island our wintering in the Douro; so that before of Grasholm; towards which the vessel was we reached London again, the voyage had drifting in a direct course, and already within occupied fully six months. We were but a a short distance of the breakers. We were short time in the river, before we sailed again lying to at the time under two or three storm on the second voyage; which was completed sails; but there happily being room to wear in less than half the time of the former. Dur- clear of the rocky crags, the danger was soon ing our stay in England, my time was taken left behind. After remaining in these parts up in learning navigation; so that I had about fourteen months, visiting alternately the scarcely any opportunity of seeing either my coasts of Scotland, Ireland, and Wales, and sister, or any of our old friends. Whilst I putting into a variety of harbours for provibelonged to this vessel, we had a providential sions and water, as occasion required, we escape from fire; the danger was greatly in- reached Liverpool in a leaky condition. Here creased by the river being frozen at the time: we expected to be repaired; but instead of being but with prompt assistance from other ships permitted to go into the dock for that purpose, then in the Thames, the ice was broken and suf-instructions were received from the Admiralty ficient water procured to extinguish the flames, before much damage was done. By the time our second voyage was completed, I had become tolerably accustomed to the situation; and although we had experienced some rough weather, I was reconciled to it as much as could be expected.

to procure an extra pump and proceed immediately to Plymouth; this, although attended with much risk, was at last accomplished in safety.

Whilst in this harbour, interest was made on my behalf with an admiral of considerable estate and influence in the neighbourSoon after returning to London a second hood, with whom in former days some of time, I found that some of my friends had suc- our family had been personally acquainted. ceeded in procuring for me the station of mid- Through this medium, I was in a short time shipman on board a ship of war, then com- received on board a ship of the line, then bearmissioned at Plymouth, and preparing for the ing the flag of a rear-admiral. This advance, cruising service. This affair was brought under such patronage, was considered to hold about by an intimate friend of my late dear out a promising aspect; but whilst it seemed mother, whose brother was appointed to the to pave the way to promotion, it opened at command of this vessel; and it was consid- once a door to an extensive range of acquaintered by those who felt interested in my wel-ance with officers on board, whose circum

An expected war with a foreign power had occasioned an unusually large fleet to collect at Spithead ; but after a time, the differences being adjusted, the ships were dispersed to their respective posts, and that to which I belonged was paid off. She was commissioned

stances in life enabled them to deviate with less difficulty than myself from the path of virtue; whose example I endeavoured to follow, until nothing but the want of means prevented my going still greater lengths than the worst of them. Whilst in this ship, when about sixteen years of age, having been un-again the next day as a guard-ship, and I have well, and probably led to reflect a little on that account, I was made sensible of a divine visitation being extended to me: disclosing with undubitable clearness the vanity and emptiness of every earthly station, tarnishing the pride and glory of this perishing world in my sight; and which, though little understood and less regarded at the moment, has since, at different periods of my chequered life, been brought to my remembrance, by Him "who declareth unto man his thoughts,-who maketh the morning darkness, and treadeth upon the high places of the earth,-the Lord, the Lord of hosts is his name.' When this occurred, although then entered into the bond of iniquity, I had not launched so fully into its dreadful abyss, as was afterwards most lamentably the case; and from what I have since witnessed in unutterable mercy, of the strength and power of redeeming love, a belief is induced, that if this warning voice, then sounding in the secret of my sinful heart, "Behold I stand at the door, and knock," had been hearkened unto, and waited upon, my foot-out any other motive than what arose from steps, even mine, would have been conducted from the horrible pit to which they were fast verging.

no doubt that I might have resumed my station as one of her mates, had I made application: for with all my private failings as a poor sinful creature, my public character had not suffered in any of the ships in which I had served, but rather the contrary; for my pride and presumption had often prompted me in moments of extreme danger, in a daring manner to take the most hazardous post, even when duty did not require it, or warrant the risk. But instead of applying to be re-instated in my former birth, I remained on shore in pursuit of sinful gratifications with increased avidity; and going up to London, so much time elapsed before my return, that I never afterwards attempted to procure a situation in the ship I had left, or in any other. In this way I left the service altogether; and would I could say, that I left the service of sin at the same time: but I had not then filled up to the brim the measure of iniquity. For some time I remained without any employment; at length I concluded to go to Canterbury, with

examining the names of places to which stage coaches ran from the inn at which I was then stopping; and as I knew nothing of that place, it is very probable that I thought no person there knew any thing of me.

I continued nearly six years in the navy: but were all the changes from ship to ship enumerated which took place during that time, and the I now found the disadvantage of not having great variety of incidents which befel me, they been regularly brought up to a trade; and alwould swell this narrative far beyond the lim- though desirous of getting into some employ, its intended; whilst however I am desirous of no matter what,-yet for want of this knowavoiding the error of gratifying self, or merely ledge, I was alike unfit for all; and I could amusing others, I beg to be preserved from a not bear the thought of making my forlorn greater, in omitting any thing tending in the situation known to those who had been the slightest degree to make known the abound- friends of my childhood, amongst whom there ings of that wondrous goodness and mercy, is no doubt but helpers would have been found. which followed me all along through an un- As my means became every day more scanparalleled course of presumptuous and unre-ty, I was at length reduced to complete povstrained liberty. It may therefore suffice for erty; and after many fruitless attempts to me to say, that notwithstanding the many and procure a livelihood, there seemed left to me great dangers I was exposed to, and the hard- no other alternative, than that of entering as ships and suffering I had to endure, through a volunteer into the army: this plan was ac all which I was preserved and sustained in a cordingly adopted without delay. manner at this day inconceivable to myself; yet none of these things were sufficient to soften the rocky heart, or bring me to a sense of my lost condition: for whether on board impressed on my memory. or on shore, in harbour or at sea, or in what-ter part of the time of my being in the navy, ever country, if I could meet with associates it was suggested to my lost and bewildered prone like myself to evil, I was always ready mind, by the subtle destroyer of men, that to hasten with them to it, either in word or in nothing short of making away with myself, deed. could extricate me from the difficulties by

I must now digress awhile from the narrative, to mention a circumstance, which the facts just related have afresh awakened and Towards the lat

reaching it in safety after a fine passage. While at sea, it was soon discovered, that I was no stranger to the management of a vessel; and though I concealed my having served several years in a superior station, yet I felt so much at home, that I voluntarily performed the duty of a sailor during my stay on board, not a little proud of my qualifications. It is most probable that pride and self-conceit were the only motives that prompted these endeavours to be useful; few, indeed, of our actions, however specious in appearance, are wholly divested of self in some shape or other, when examined in the pure mirror of truth; such is the depravity of the human heart in its natural state.

which I was surrounded, and shelter me from embarkation: we sailed for the Cove of Cork, shame and disgrace; and the method of its accomplishment was at seasons hinted at. But,-blessed be the name of the Lord God of heaven and earth for ever! his invisible arm of merciful interposition preserved me from this dreadful snare; and in the greatness of his love and strength he hath at this distant period, put it into the heart of his unworthy creature to record his mighty acts, to his praise and to his glory, with humble and reverend thankfulness. Greatly do I desire, that if this relation should ever fall into the hands of any poor sinners and servants of the cruel taskmaster, as was then my lot,-that such may be hereby strengthened and encouraged to look unto the Lord their God for help, even though they may be plunged into the very Having frequently been sheltered before by gulf of despair: for "his compassions fail the coves, bays, and harbours of Ireland, and not," they are new every morning; his ten- frequently been on shore in different places, I der mercies are over all his works; and he was tolerably well acquainted with the charwill give power to the faint, and strength to acter and customs of the people; whose hosthem that have no might of their own, to re-pitality to strangers has long been acknowl. sist this and every other temptation of that wicked one, who was a liar from the beginning.

CHAPTER II.

edged by all who have visited their shores: and although now unable to move in the same sphere as formerly, yet I still found opportu. nities to indulge the evil propensities of fallen nature. But as the miserable inhabitants in some of the provinces were rapidly ripening

The author goes to Plymouth, thence with his re- for rebellion, our time was much occupied by giment to Ireland — Kilkenny-Dublin-ha-hard and laborious service. rassing service-personal danger—recruits— After landing at the Passage of Cork, we Liverpool-Bristol-Southampton-embarks proceeded to that city, but shortly marched

thence with troops for the campaign in Hol

land.

It was a little remarkable, that, after all the pains I had taken to screen my fallen situation from the knowledge of those who had been acquainted with me, the regiment in which I had engaged, proved to be at that very time on duty at Plymouth, a place where, above all others, I had the greatest number of acquaintances; but I was so completely metamorphosed in appearance, that I was never in one instance found out by any whom I had formerly known, even when brought into close contact with them. This change of condition, however, wrought in me no change of life. My conduct for a time was almost entitled to the appellation of reformed, but this period was short indeed; for having speedily acquired a knowledge of all that was required of me in the way of duty, I began to rise above the impressions made by difficulties gone by, and again to look forward to a further participation in the delusive and miserable pleasures of this transitory and wicked world.

In less than a year we were ordered to Ireland; and three transports having arrived for us in Catwater, a short time completed the

forward to Kilkenny. This place was a station that afforded more quiet and comparative ease, than any which afterwards fell to my lot, whilst engaged in the regular service; but our stay here was of short duration, before entering upon the arduous duty of Dublin garrison. The agitated state of public affairs at that period, greatly augmented our fatigue; and it frequently happened that we were on duty every other night, and this in the winter season.

Discontent increasing and disturbances breaking out in the interior of the country, small detachments of troops were despatched from Dublin, to strengthen the authority of magistrates in their endeavours to maintain public tranquillity, and to afford protection to the peaceable inhabitants from the nightly depredations of numerous gangs of misled and intoxicated desperadoes, to which they and their property were constantly exposed under a variety of diabolical pretences. It was my lot to be chosen with the first of the detached parties, to a share of this dangerous and harassing service; on which, such was at one time the emergency, that we were kept on the alert night after night, without any intermission for a week together, with only such in

tervals of rest, as could be procured in the day grave,-the appalling thought of a brother's time. Whilst on this expedition, on a parti- blood, yet unwiped away; on the other hand, cular enterprise with a constable, I was to all in rescuing from immediate death two miserappearance reduced to the necessity of taking able sinners, wholly unprepared to die; for the life of another to save my own. The had I taken away the man's life, my own constable perceiving the danger, had left me would doubtless have been forthwith sacrificed alone; when I was suddenly attacked by a poor to the revenge of his enraged companions. infuriated creature, in a state little short of per- Thus as my history rolls on, the enormous fect madness from continued intoxication, sup-load of debt which I already owe unto my ported by several others, but in a less outrage-Lord still accumulates; and verily it can never ous condition. I kept him at bay for some be liquidated, but in that infinite and wondrous time; but at last he got so near, that it became mercy, which delighteth to forgive every reevery moment more difficult to avoid being penting sinner, who in the depths of humility reached by the violent strokes he made with and abasedness of self, has indeed "nothing some kind of weapon, I think of iron, which to pay" withal. were repeatedly received by the firelock in On the arrival of some fresh detachments my hands, then loaded with ball. In this sit from the garrison, I learned that a vacancy uation, there seemed left to me no other than had occurred during our absence on this serthe dreadful alternative of shooting him to vice, and that the blank was filled up by the save myself. I called in vain in the language promotion or myself. Although this circumof appeal to the other people to interfere: they stance was of trifling import, yet it served to stood by, as if to see how matters were likely flatter and feed pride, and eventually to open to terminate, before they began to act or take the way again for a renewal of those evil a part of any consequence either way; which habits, from which for a time I had been shelthey nearly carried too far: but when they tered. As each body of troops was relieved saw me actually preparing to shoot the man, from this extra fatigue at a given time, our they hastily cried out,-spare life! spare life!' turn came in regular course at the expiration which I only wanted their help to enable me of a few weeks, when we again returned to to accomplish. They then seized him, and in Dublin. Not long after this, inquiry was the midst of the struggle and confusion which made for a person qualified to assist in the took place amongst themselves, my escape writing department of the commander-in-chief, was happily effected. I cannot suppose at under his own personal inspection: I never that time, when I wanted only the help of knew exactly how it was brought about, but other men to enable me to spare life, that the in the course of a few days, it was decided in principal motive was other than self-preser- my favour; and I immediately entered upon vation, accompanied by fear of the immedi- this new and altogether unexpected employate consequences that would inevitably have ment. Being now on most days at liberty at followed, and must have resulted in my own an early hour, and freed from restraint and destruction. Therefore it is greatly to be control, and from that incessant round of feared, (although that heart must be callous duties, which had before fully occupied my indeed, which in all such cases does not recoil time and attention, and compelled in a degree from the horrid act,) that it was not love to to orderly conduct; together with having it my fellow-creature, which prompted the desire more in my power by possessing greater in me to spare his life. Let none mistake it means,-I soon began to take my swing in as such. I have frequently thought of this every inordinate gratification to which I was circumstance since it occurred, I hope with naturally propense, and in which an extensive humble thankfulness to the great Preserver of metropolis furnished ample opportunity to inmen; and on now committing it to record, as one dulge; thus adding sin to sin, and making of those many events, in which there was but farther woful work for repentance. And alone step between me and the grave, and whilst though at times, in the midst of these evil shuddering at the strong recollection of it, my practices I was made sensible of convicting soul magnifies that unmerited and amazing reproofs, sufficient to have awakened any one mercy, afresh displayed and multiplied to my but myself; yet they only seemed to deter me understanding in a two-fold view:-on the for a short interval from persisting in them, one hand, in withholding me from the crime or until another opportunity offered;—such of taking away the life of a fellow-creature, was their dominion over me. This course like myself, "in the gall of bitterness;" and if was however at last stopped, by my attenI had escaped myself, thus sparing me, at this late hour, amidst the decay of nature, when the shadows of the evening are stretching out and my feet drawing near the margin of the

dance being no longer necessary at the writing department, together with the sudden march of the regiment to Granard; but not before my health had begun to suffer from my folly.