only displease him, but also burden his people; and perhaps get into and become entangled in a way of fpeaking from too fmall motions or impreffions felt, or mournfully mistake the sparks of my own kindling for divine impreffions; which might, in confequence of my giving way thereunto, be fuffered to increase upon me to my great lofs in the fubftantial and divine life, if not to my_utter ruin. In this guarded frame of mind I paffed on for fome time, often seeking to the Lord for counsel and direction in this and other concerns of importance. And though I believe I might have publickly borne teftimony in the name, power, and approbation of the Lord, rather fooner than I did; yet as I was not obftinately, but carefully backward, I feldom felt much condemnation for withholding: however, I did a few times find fome real uneafiness on that account. But he who laid the concern upon me, well knowing the integrity of my heart, and that I was bent faithfully to ferve him, without going too faft, or yet tarrying behind my guide, dealt graciously with me, paffed by my little withholdings, favoured with fresh and increafing incomes of his love, and, from time to time, caft up my way with still greater clearness; and at length in a manner fo clear, and confirming, as erafed doubt and hesitation from my mind. In the fresh authority whereof I uttered a few words in our meeting at Providence, on the first day of the week, and 10th of the 4th month 1774, to my own and I believe my friends fatisfaction. friends fatisfaction. I felt the returns

of

peace in my own bosom, as a river of life, for a confiderable time afterwards, fweetly comforting my mind, and confirming me in this folemn undertaking.

After fome time of heavenly rejoicing, I began again to be tried with various exercises and conflicts of mind, though ftill frequently favoured with the

flowings

flowings of divine love, in a very comfortable and foul-fatisfying manner. At divers times I had lively impreffions to fay a few words more, in publick teftimony; but ftill waited to be well affured. The unfpeakable confolation which I found, on my firft uttering a few words, and that after a confiderable time of rather holding back, than hafty procedure, had fully confirmed me that there is greater fafety in turning the fleece, and well proving it, both wet and dry, than in rufhing forward in the first operations or openings. The beafts, allowed in facrifice, were to chew the cud and divide the hoof. Chewing the cud is a deliberate act: they chew and fwallow, and chew and fwallow again. The divifion of the hoof being on the stepping member, fhews the danger of taking a single step in divine services, without a clear divifion of things, and the way caft up in the mind.-As I thus waited for clearness, not being by once fucceeding encouraged to run too faft, I was favoured to know the fire of the Lord rightly kindled upon his altar; and to witness an offering of his own preparing. And I am well affured that fuch, and fuch only are the offerings which will find acceptance with him. He never will reject these. any more than accept those of human obtruding.

My fecond publick appearance in the miniftry was at the lower meeting-houfe in Smith-field, the 19th of the 10th month 1774, when I found a living concern to encourage a careful engagement before the Lord, out of meetings; and to prefs it upon Friends to draw nigh unto him from day to day, that strength may be renewed, and the divine favour of life retained, left we lose the living sense of what we often gracioufly enjoy in our religious meetings. Life, divine life, attended me in this little teftimony, as in the former. And after meeting I enjoyed the fweet influence of him who is

the

the God of my falvation, in a degree that was greatly to my confirmation and encouragement. After this I ftill continued feeking unto and waiting upon God for counfel and direction; in which frame of mind I was favoured to renew and increase a living acquaintance with him; and witnessed fresh inftruction to my mind. I appeared but seldom in publick teftimony, and moftly in a few words at a time, and yet I have fome few times been made fenfible of faying too much; and for which I have felt more pain of mind than I have often felt, if ever, for withholding. However, through merciful preservation, I have feldom to my knowledge appeared oftener or faid more than has tended to my own relief and fatisfaction, and, for ought I know, to the fatisfaction of my brethren: blefled be the name of the Lord my God. I bow awfully before him, for his directing and preferving prefence through many deep probations. He hath been with me in the heights and in the depths; has ftrung my bow and covered my head in the day of battle. May I ferve him faithfully all the days of my ftay here, until I go hence and be seen of men no more.

СНАР.

even the outward order and economy of divine providence affords inftruction, which often beautifully applies to our inward experiences. It is not all calm and funshine; the divine wisdom orders many and great viciffitudes and changes in the natural world: infomuch that, perhaps in the most pleasant and flourishing seafon in the whole year, after a few days of clear fhining and tranquillity, there arifes a moft terrible ftorm, with wind, lightening, and tremendous thunder; and it may be with hailftones scattered abroad upon the face of the earth. At other times will high and rufhing winds fucceed the calmeft day; or pinching droughts the most fruitful feafon. Even the fettled order and fucceffion of seasons is a continual revolution of day and night, fummer and winter, feed-time and harveft. We have cold as well as heat; dark nefs as well as light; and cutting frofts as well as most refrefhing dews; and a variety of other changes. All this is in infinite wifdom and goodnefs; and difplays to the difcerning eye the providential power and glory of the great Superintendant. My foul hath fometimes been enraptured whilft I have viewed and contemplated the operations of his hand in these things; together with the fituation of places ; rocks and lofty mountains, sturdy oaks, and tall cedars; rivers, lakes, and oceans; meadows, fields, and forefts; deserts and vaft howling wildernesses; with the various inhabitants of both land and water. And over and above all these, the fun, moon and ftars in their courfes; and conftellations of heaven! All these things (though far fhort of being fufficient food for immortal fouls, and perhaps not best to dwell much upon) have nevertheless animatingly affected my mind in the contemplation of them; and raised my foul in adoration to him who is the former of all things; and who, when he was pleafed to answer out of the whirlwind, and awfully to interrogate his fervant Job, for his instruction, was pleased

pleased to make the wonderful works of his hand, and the excellent order of his government, the fubjects of his demands. And who among the fons of men can read the folemn queries then uttered by the Divine Majefty, and not feel fome tender emotions of foul; as, Haft thou commanded the ⚫ morning fince thy days, and caufed the day-fpring 'to know his place?'* is one among the many folemn and fublime interrogatives, by the wifdom of an all-knowing God, demanded of his fervant; fufficiently declaring, beyond all hesitation, how infinitely exalted above all human comprehenfion, he is in wifdom, power, and glory; as well as amply fetting forth his goodnefs to the fons of men, in caufing the regular returns of day and night, and other wonderful fucceffions and revolutions, for the benefit and comfort of his dependant creatures. Bow, O my foul, adore and worship the God of thy life, who is the length of thy days and thy portion for ever. His works are wondrous, paft finding out, marvellous, and beyond thy comprehenfion. Thou seeft in part the multitude and magnitude of his wonderful works; thou beholdeft a fmall part of the changes and viciffitudes attending them: and yet through all, what excellent order, harmony, and regularity, is preserved. Surely nothing less than his Omnipotence and Omnifcience could poffibly effect or produce all this. Thou seeft he is faithful in performing his ancient gracious promife. Day and night, feed-time and harveft, &c. fail not. He faid not unto the feed of Jacob, feek ye my face in vain.'t Nay verily; the language of his compaffionate regard on the contrary, is, Fear not, worm Jacob, I will never leave thee nor forfake thee: when thou goest through the water, it fhall not overwhelm thee; or when through the fire, it fhall not kindle upon thee. It is as much in wifdom and goodness that he sometimes as it were withdraws, + Ifai. xlv. 19.

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*Job xxxviii. 12.