Mr. By

Bygrove. Ay, now! now!

Sir H. You positively shall hear it.

grove's desires being all rusted to a point, looking directly toward the land of matrimony

Bygrove. Matrimony! now gild the pill with humour, and down it goes.

Sir H. Dashwould has found you out. Mr. Bygrove's desires being all collected, and fixed on matrimony, he rails at the variety of my friend Millamour's whimsies, like Sir George Bumper, with chalkstones on his knuckles as big as nutmegs, hobbling along, and thanking Doctor le Fevre, that he has no small humours flying about him.

Sir J. That's a discovery indeed!

Bygrove. Sir John, can you mind what such a fellow as Dashwould says? Every thing that passes through the medium of his fancy, appears deformed, as the straightest stick looks crooked in troubled water. Sir H. Well dashed out, upon my soul !-with tolerable spleen, and some vivacity.

Bygrove. Po! if you had taken my advice, Sir Harry, and renounced his acquaintance long ago, you had been now a young man coming into life, with some promise of a character. Continue in dissipation, sir: For my part, it is a rule with me, neither to give, nor to take, a joke.

Sir J. Ha! ha! ha! a pleasant rule, positivelyha ha ha! Dashwould shall have it this moment; do you take the consequence, and in the mean time I'll leave you to the practice of your social humour.

[Exit.

Bygrove. It is such coxcombs as that butterfly, that encourage him to fix his pasquinades upon every . man's character. Matrimony! a licentious-No, Sir John, I still cherish the memory of your sister-she was the best of wives- -'Sdeath! interrupted again by that-No, it's my friend Malvil; he is a man of true value.

Sir J. Dash would says, he is a compound of false charity, and real malice.

Bygrove. And it is enough for you, that Dashwould ́ says it. Malvil is a man of honour, sir, and an enemy to all scandal, though wit prove a palateable ingre dient in the poison.

Enter MALVIL.

Malvil. Intolerable! there is no being safe where he is-A licentious railer! all truth, all morality sacrificed to a jest! nothing sacred from his buffoonery!

Bygrove. I told you, Sir John, how it is.

Malvil. Oh, such indiscriminate satire! There is no enduring it. Ridicule is a very unfair weapon,' Mr. Bygrove; it is, by no means, the test of truth, Sir John.

Sir J. Nay, but you are too grave about this matter. Malvil. Too grave! shall he wantonly stab the reputation of his neighbour, and then tell you he was in jest? For my part, I had rather throw a veil over the infirmities of my friend, than seek a malicious pleasure in the detection-That's my way of thinking. Sir J. I fancy you are right. This son of mine does so perplex me! [Walks aside. Malvil. Pray, Mr. Bygrove, give me leave-I am sorry to hear certain whispers about a friend of ours. Bygrove. About whom? the widow, Mrs. Bromley?

Malvil. Oh, no, no! I have a great respect for her, though I-Pray, don't you think she throws out the lure for a young husband?

Bygrove. For a husband-yes, but not too young a one-you can serve my interest in that quarter.

Malvil. I know it; rely upon my friendship. But have you heard nothing of an eminent Turkey merchant?

Bygrove. Mr. Freeport?

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Malvil. I say nothing-I don't like the affair:have you really heard nothing?

Bygrove. Not a syllable.

Malvil. So much the better; though it is fit you should be put on your guard. Any money of yours in his hands?

Bygrove. Po! as safe as the bank.

Malvil. I may be mistaken-I hope I am-I was in company the other night-several members of parliament present-they did not speak plainly-hints and inuendo's only-you won't let it go any further? -His seat in the house, they all agreed, is perfectly convenient at this juncture-I hope the cloud will blow over. I shall remember you with the widow.

Bygrove. One good turn deserves another; I shan't be unmindful of your interest.

Malvil. There, now you hurt me-you know my delicacy must friendship never act a disinterested part? I esteem you, Mr. Bygrove, and that's sufficient. Sir John, give me leave to say, the man who busies himself about other people's affairs, is a pragmatical character, and very dangerous in society.

Bygrove. So I have been telling Sir John: But to laugh at every thing is the fashion of the age. A pleasant, good-for-nothing fellow, is, by most people, preferred to modest merit. A man like Dash would, who runs on-So! here comes Scandal in folio.

Enter DASHWOULD.

Dash. Sir John, I rejoice to see you-Mr. Bygrove, 1 kiss your hand. Malvil, have you been un

easy for any friend since?

Malvil. Po! absurd!

[Walks away.

Dash. I have been laughing with your son, Sir John.-Pray have I told you about Sir Richard Doriland?

Bygrove. You may spare him sir, he is a very wor、 thy man.

Dash. He is so- -great good nature about him-I love Sir Richard: You know he was divorced from his wife, a good fine woman, but an invincible idiot. Malvil. Lookye there now, Mr. Bygrove!

Bygrove. My Lady Doriland, sir, was always accounted a very sensible woman.

Dash. She was so; with too much spirit to be ever at ease, and a rage for pleasure, that broke the bubble as she grasped it. She fainted away, upon hearing that Mrs. Allnight had two card tables more than herself.

Bygrove. Inveterate malice!

Dash. They waged war a whole winter, for the honour of having the greatest number of fools, thinking of nothing but the odd trick.-First, Mrs. Allnight kept Sundays; her ladyship did the same-Mrs. Allnight had forty tables; her ladyship rose to fiftyThen one added, then t'other, till every room in the house was crammed like the black hole at Calcutta ; and at last, upon casting up the account, Sir Richard sold off fifteen hundred acres, to clear incumbrances. Sir J. Ridiculous! and so they parted upon this? Dash. Don't you know the history of that business? Malvil. Now mark him--now.

Dash. Tender of reputation, Malvil!-The story is well known. She was detected with-the little foreign count-I call him the Salamander-I saw him five times in one winter upon the back of the fire, at Bath, for cheating at cards.

Malvil. Go on, sir, abuse every body. My lady was perfectly innocent: I know the whole affair-a mere contrivance to lay the foundation of a divorce. Dash. So they gave out. Sir Richard did not care a nine-pin for her, while she was his.-You know his way; he despises what is in his possession, and languishes for what is not. Her ladyship was no sooner married to what's his name?-His father was a footman, and Madam Fortune, who, every now and

then loves a joke, sent him to the East Indies, and in a few years brought him back at the head of half a million, for the jest's sake,

Malvil. Mr. Dashwould, upon my word, sir-Families to be run down in this manner!

Dash, Mushroom was his name; my Lady Doriland was no sooner married to him, but, up to his eyes, Sir Richard was in love with her. He dressed at her sighed at her-danced at her; she is now libelled in the Commons, and Sir Richard has a crim. con. against him in the King's Bench.

Malvil. Pshaw! I shall stay no longer, to hear this strain of defamation.

[Exit. Dash. Malvil, must you leave us? A pleasant character, this same Mr. Malvil.

sir.

Bygrove. He has a proper regard for his friends,

Dash. Yes, but he is often present where their characters are canvassed, and is anxious about whispers, which nobody has heard. He knows the use of hypocrisy better than a court chaplain.

Bygrove. There, call honesty by a burlesque name, and so pervert every thing.

Dash. Things are more perverted, Mr. Bygrove, when such men as Malvil make their vices do their work, under a mask of goodness; and with that stroke we'll dismiss his character.

Sir J. Ay, very right; my brother Bygrove has a regard for him, and so change the subject. My son, Mr. Dashwould, what does he intend?

Dash. Up to the eyes in love with Lady Bell, and determined to marry her.

Sir J. I told you so, Mr. Bygrove-I told you, you would soon see him settled in the world. Mr. Dashwould, I thank you; I'll step and confirm George in his resolution.

[Exit. Dash. A goodnatured man, Sir John, and does not want credulity!

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