and much expedited, if the public would raife a fund for making and employing five hundred fuch frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their feveral collections.

He affured me, that this invention had employed all his thoughts from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his frame, and made the ftricteft computation of the general proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech.

I made my humbleft acknowledgment to this illuftrious perfon for his great communicativeness; and promifed, if ever I had the good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him juftice, as the fole inventor of this wonderful machine; the form and contrivance of which I defired leave to delineate upon paper, as in the figure here annexed. I told him, although it were the custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a controverfy which was the right owner; yet I would take fuch caution,

1

caution, that he should have the honour intire without a rival.

We next went to the school of languages, where three profeffors fat in confultation upon improving that of their own country.

The first project was to shorten discourse by cutting polyfyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles; because in reality all things imaginable are but nouns.

The other project was a scheme for intirely abolishing all words whatfoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak, is in fome degree a diminution of our lungs by corrofion; and consequently contributes to the shortening of our lives. An expedient was therefore offered, that fince words are only names for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about them fuch things as were neceffary to exprefs the particular business they are to difcourfe on. And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of the subject, if the women in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate X 3

had

had not threatened to raise a rebellion, unless they might be allowed the liberty to fpeak with their tongues after the manner of their forefathers, fuch conftant irreconcileable enemies to fcience are the common people. However, many of the most learned and wife adhere to the new scheme of expreffing themselves by things; which hath only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business be very great and of various kinds, he must be obliged in proportion to carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or two ftrong fervants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those fages almost finking under the weight of their packs, like pedlars among us; who, when they met in the streets, would lay down their loads, open their facks, and hold converfation for an hour together; then put up their implements, help each other to refume their burthens, and take their leave.

But for fhort converfations a man may carry implements in his pockets and under his arms enough to fupply him; and in his house he cannot be at a lofs. Therefore the room, where company meet who

practife

practife this art, is full of all things ready at hand requifite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converfe.

Another great advantage propofed by this invention was, that it would ferve as an univerfal language to be understood in all civilized nations, whofe goods and utenfils are generally of the fame kind, or nearly refembling, so that their uses might eafily be comprehended. And thus ambaffadors would be qualified to treat with foreign princes, or minifters of ftate, to whofe tongues they were utter ftrangers.

I was at the mathematical school, where the mafter taught his pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The propofition and demonftration were fairly written on a thin wafer with ink compofed of a cephalic tincture. This the ftudent was to fwallow upon a fafting stomach, and for three days following eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digefted, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the propofition along with it. But the fuccefs hath not hitherto been answerable, partly by fome error in the quantum or compofition, and partly by the perX 4 verfeness

verfenefs of lads; to whom this bolus is fo naufeous, that they generally fteal afide and discharge it upwards, before it can operate; neither have they been yet perfuaded to use fo long an abftinence as the prescription requires,

CHAP. VI.

A further account of the academy. The author propofes fome improvements, which are boncurably received.

IN

N the school of political projectors I was but ill entertained; the profeffors appearing in my judgment wholly out of their fenfes; which is a scene, that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy people were propofing schemes for perfuading monarchs to chufe favourites upon the score of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of teaching minifters to confult the public good; of rewarding merit, great abilities, and eminent fervices; of inftructing princes to know their true intereft, by placing it on the fame foundation with that of their people; of chufing for employments perfons qualified to exer