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Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford: I have my belly full of ford. Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault; she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine: I must carry her word quickly she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her think, what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quick. I will tell her.

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Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into the Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding I have received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her: adieu. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and back-baskets-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am I will now take the lecher; he is at my house he cannot scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepper-box but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn mad. [Exit.

ACT IV.

SCENE 1. The Street.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William. Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st thou?

but truly, he is very courageous mad, about his Quick. Sure he is by this; or will be presently: throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto, her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither bring my young man here to school: look, where Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, for-his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see. sooth, to search his house for his wife's love. Ford. What, while you were there? Fal. While I was there..

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

How now, sir Hugh? no school to-day?

Eva. No; master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

Quick. Blessing of his heart!

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find 'you? Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son Ford's approach; and, by her invention, and Ford's profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-yon, ask him some questions in his accidence. basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: rammed me in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villanous smell, that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in a basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datehet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave, their master, in the door; who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket. I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but Fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether: next, to be compassed like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: think of that, a man of my kidney,-think of that; that am as subject to heat as batter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that;-hissing hot,-think of that, master

Brook.

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is desperate; you'll undertake her no more.

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head;

come,

Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns ? Will. Two.

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number more; because they say, od's nouns.

Eva. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, William ? Will. Pulcher.

Quick. Pouleats! there are fairer things than poulcats, sure.

Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray you, peace. What is lapis, William? Will. A stone.

Eva. And what is a stone, William ?
Will. A pebble.

Eva. No, it is lapis; I pray you, remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is good, William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus; Well, what is your accusative case? Will. Accusativo, hine.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accusativo, hing, hang, hog.

Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative case, William ?

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Will. Genitive case? Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive,-horum, harum, horum. Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on never name her child, if she be a whore.

Eva. For shame, 'oman.

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such her!-places, and goes to them by his note: there is no hiding vou in the house.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum:fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is ki, ke, kod; if you forget your kies, your kes, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought

he was.

Fal. I'll go out then.

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John. Unless you go out disgui ed,Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him?

Mrs. Page, Alas the day, I know not. T'here is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a mufer, and a kerchief, and

so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he is. and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: run up, sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John: mistress Page and I will look some linea for your head.

Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you

Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, mis-straight; put on the gown the while. [Exit Fal. tress Page. Mrs. Page. Adien, good sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh] Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II. A Room in Ford's House.

Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance: I see, you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now ?

Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John. Mrs. Page. [Within] What hoa, gessip Ford! what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John. [Exit Falstaff.

Enter Mrs. Page. Mrs. Page, How now, sweetheart? who's at home beside yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people.
Mrs. Page. Indeed?

Mrs. Ford. No, certainly ;-speak louder. [Aside. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, Peer out, peer out that any madness I ever yet beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?

Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket protests to my husband, he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion but I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Mrs. Page, Hard by; at street end; he will be

here anon.

Mrs. Ford. I am undone!-the knight is here. Mrs. Page, Why, then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you! -Away with him, away with him; better shame than murder.

Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?

Re-enter Falstaff.

Fal. No, I'll come no more i'the basket: may 1 not go out, ere he come?

Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none should issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do ? 1'il creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it?

Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford: he swears she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming?

Mrs. Page Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford.

Mrs. Ford. Pil first direct my men what they shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him straight. [Exit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.

We'll leave a proof by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:
We do not act, that often jest and laugh:
"Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff.

[Exit.

Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with two Servants. Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, despatch.

1 Serv. Come, come, take it up.

[Exit.

2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again.

1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead. Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again?-Set down the basket, villain:-Somebody call my wife You, youth in a basket, come out here!0, you pander to rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy, against me now shall the devil he shamed. What! wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you send forth to ble iching.

Page. Why, this passes: Master Ford, you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned. Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog!

Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed.

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Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford. Why, mar, why,

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket: Why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable Pluck me out all the linen.

Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Page. Here's no man.

Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford; this wrongs you.

Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies. Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow walnut for his wife's leman. Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.

Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you, and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.

Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brent ford.

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house! She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing.Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down, I say.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter Falstaff in Women's Clothes, led by Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me your hand.

Ford. I'll prat her:Out of my door, you witch! [Beats him] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tel! [Exit Falstaff. Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have killed the poor woman.

you.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it:-"Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffer.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again. Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: Come, gentlemen.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, Shallow, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought.

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service. Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in feesimple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poer unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed.

Mrs. Page, Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt.

SCENE JII. A Room in the Garter Inn,
Enter Host and Bardolph.

Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

Host. What Duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English! Bard. Ay, sir, I'll call them to you.

Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them they have had my house a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come, [Exeunt.

SCENE IV. A Room in Ford's House.

Enter Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Eva. Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.

Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what thou
I rather will suspect the sun with cold, [wilt;
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour
In him that was of late an heretic,
[stand
As firm as faith.

Page.
'Tis well, 'tis well; no more,
Be not as extreme in submission,
As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
Ford. There is no better way than that they
spoke of.

Page. How to send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight! tie, tie! he'll never come.

Era. You say he has been thrown in the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: should not come; methinks his flesh is punished, methinks, there should be terrors in him, that he

he shall have no desires.

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the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle;
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a
In a most hideous and dreadful manner. [chain
You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know,
The superstitions idle-headed eld
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device; That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head. Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come, And in this shape: When you have brought him thither, What shall be done with him? what is your plet? Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought upon,

and thus ;

Nan Page, my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffused song; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly :
Then let them all encircle him about,,
And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape profane.

Mrs. Ford.

And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound, And burn him with their tapers. Mrs. Page. The truth being known,. We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit, And mock him home to Windsor. Ford. The children must Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours;

and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the Finely attired in a robe of white. [fairies,

Page. That silk will I go buy;-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, Aside. And marry her at Eton,-Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook: He'll tell me all his purpose: sure he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us proAnd tricking for our fairies. [perties, Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send quickly to sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. Ford. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page, That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; And he my husband best of all affects: The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.

[Exit.

SCENE V. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Host and Simple.

taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! mere cozenage! Host. Where be my horses speak well of them, varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

Host. They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

Eva. Where is mine host?
Host. What is the matter, sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three cousin Germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for a good will, look you : you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened: Fare [Exit. you well.

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius. Vere is mine host de Jarterre? Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick-dat you make grand preparation for a Duke de JarCaius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me, skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, many: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: adieu.

snap.

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John

Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophagi-I nian unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as to stay, sir, till she come down I come to speak with her, indeed. Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed. I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [Above] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend my chambers are honourable: Fie! privacy? fie!

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Fal. To have her,--or no: Go; say, the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir? Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold? Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings.

[Exit. Host. Thou art elerkly, thou art elerkly, sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath

undone !

[Exit.

I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, knight; [Exeunt Host and Bardulph. have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of my fat,

drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me;

warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I foreswore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. Quickly. Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villa

nous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear,

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, liver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

de

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.

[Exeunt,

Fal. Come up into my chamber. SCENE VI. Another Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Fenton and Host. Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all.

Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my pur And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee .[pose, A hundred pounds in gold, more than your loss. Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Who, mutually, bath answered my affection (So far forth as herself might be her chooser), Even to my wish: I have a letter from her

Of such contents as you will wonder at;
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,
That neither, singly, can be manifested,
Without the show of both ;-wherein fat Falstaff
Hath a great scene; the image of the jest
[Showing the Letter.
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host:
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented:
Now, sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it rests:
Her father means she shall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time.
To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him:-her mother hath intended,
The better to denote her to the doctor
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded),
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrob'd,
With ribands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him. [ther?
Host. Which means she to deceive? father or mo-
Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me:
And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar
To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one,
And, in the lawful name of marrying,
To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar; Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt.

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Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and ery, mum; she cries, budget; and by that we know one another.

Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt,

SCENE III. The Street in Windsor. Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Doctor Caius. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green : when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu.

Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies and the Welsh devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscu ed lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night.

Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.. Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely.

Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their leThose that betray them do no treachery. [chery, Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; To the oak, to the oak. [Exeunt.

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Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Fairies. Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts; be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt.

SCENE V. Another Part of the Park. Enter Falstaff, disguised with a Buck's Head on. Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Earopa; love set on thy horns.-O powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some other, a man beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda;-0, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose-A fault done first in the form of a heast;-0 Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fow!; think on't, Jove; a foul fault.When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? I think, i'the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, For me, I am here a Windsor-stag; and the fattest, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe?

Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John, art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the sky rain potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter [Embracing her.

me here.

Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed phrensy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: along with me; I'll tell you all, mas'er Brook. I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till ately.husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! follow.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II. Windsor Park. Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Page. Come, come; we'll couch i'the castle-ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-Remember, son Slender, my daughter.

the hunter?-Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am true spirit, welcome!

[Noise within.

Mrs. Page. Alas what noise?
Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins!
Fal. What should this be?

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