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Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough : 1 Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Ætna, was thrown into the ford : I have my belly full of ford. as I have been into tlie Thames, ere I will leave
Quick. Alas the day! good heart, ibat was not her thas. Her husband this morning gone a bird ber fault; she does so take on with her men ; they ing: I have received from her another embassy of ipistook their erection.
meeting ; 'twixt eight and nine is the bour, master Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish wo- Brook. man's promise.
Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir. Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it Fal. Is it! I will then address me to my appointwould yearn your heart to see it. Her husband ment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and goes this inorning a birding ; she desires you once you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion inore to come to her between eight and nine : I must shall be crowned with your enjoying her : adieu. carry her word quickly: she'll make you anends, 1 You shall bave her, master Brook ; master Brook, warrant you.
you shall cuckold Ford.
[Exit Fal. Well, I will visit her : tell her so; and bid Ford. Hun! ha! is this a vision is this a dream! her think, what a man is : let her consider his do I sleep! Master Ford, awake; awake, master frailty, and then judge of my merit.
Ford ; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Quick. I will tell her.
Ford.' This 'tis to be married ! this is to have Pal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou ? Tiden, and back-baskets !-Well, I will proclaim Quick. Eight and nine, sir.
myself what I am: I will now take the lecher;
he Pal. Well, be gone : I will not miss her. is at my house: he cannot scape me ; 'tis impossiQuick. Peace be with you, sir !
(Exit. ble he should ; he cannot creep into a half-penny Fal. I marvel, I hear pot of master Brook; he purse, por into a pepper-box but, lest the devil sent me word to stay within : I like his money well. that guides him should aid him, I will search imO, here he comes.
possible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, Enter Ford.
yet to be what I would not, shall not make me
tame: if I have bors to make one mad, let the Ford. Bless you, sir!
proverb go with me, I'll be born mad. (Exit. Fal. Now, master Brook ; you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford's wife!
Ford, That, indeed, sir John, is my business,
SCENE I. The Street. Fal. Very ill-favoured y, master Brook.
Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William. Ford. How so, sir! Did she change her determi
Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st nation?
thou ? Fal. Xo, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto, her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual but traly, he is very coarageous mad, about his
Quick. Sure he is by this; or will be presently: 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, to come suddenly. and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy, and at his heels a rabble of his con panions, thither bring my young man here to school: louk, where
Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, for- bis master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see. sooth, to search his house for his wile's love. Ford. Wbat, while you were there!
Enter Sir Hugh Evals. Fal. While I was there.
How now, sir Hugh! no school to-day! Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find Eva. No ; master Slender is let the boys leave to you?
Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, Quick. Blessing of his heart! comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my busband says, my son Ford's approach ; and, by her invention, and Ford's profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck - yon, ask bim some questions in his accidence. basket.
Eva. Come bither, William ; hold op your head ; Ford. A buck-basket! Pal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: rammed me in
Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah ; hold up your head; with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and answer your master, be not afraid. greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the Eva. William, how many vumbers is in nouns ! raskest compound of villanous smell, that ever of Will. Two. fended nostril.
Quick. Truly, I thoaght there had been one numFord. And how long lay you there?
ber more ; becapse they say, od's noans. Pal. Nay, yon shall hear, master Brook, what I Eva. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, Williamn? have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your Will. Pulcher. good. Being thus crammed in a basket, a couple of Quick. Pouleats! there are fairer things than Ford's knaves, his binds, were called forth by their poulcats, sure. mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to
Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray Datehet-lane : they took me on their shoulders; met you, peace. What is lapis, William? the jealous knave, their master, in the door ; who Will. A stone. asked them once or twice what they had in their Era. And what is a stone, William ? basket. I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave Will. A pebble. would have searched it; but Fate, ordaiping he should Eva. No, it is lapis ; I pray you, remember in be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went be for your prain, a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But Will Lapis. mark the sequel, master Brook : I suffered the pangs Eva. That is good, William. What is he, Wilof three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to liam, that does lend articles ! be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether: next, Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronom; and to be compassed like a good bilbo, in the circumfer- be thas declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, ence of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head : and then, hoc. to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease : genitiro, hujus, Well, what is your accusative case ? think of that,-a man of my kidney,--think of that; Will. Accusativo, hine. that am as subject to heat as batter; a man of con Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; tinual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to accusativo, hing, hang, hog. 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. when I was more than half stewed in grease, like a Kva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the Dutch dish, to be thrown into the "Thames, and focative case, William ? cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; Will, 0- Vocativo, O. think of that ;-hissing hot,--think of that, master Eva. Remember, William ; focative is, carer, Brook.
Quick. And that's a good root, 'ord. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my Era. 'Oman, forbear. sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is des Mrs. Page. Peace. perate ; you'll undertake her no more.
Eva. What is your genitive case, plural, William ?
Will. Genitive case ?
Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Eva. Ay.
Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but Will. Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.
he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her !-- places, and goes to them by his note: there is no never name her child, if she be a whore.
hiding you in the house. Bra. For shame, 'oman.
Fal. I'll go out then. Quick. You do isl to teach the child such words: Mrs. Page. If you go out in your ovn semblance, he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll you die, sir John. Unle s you go out disgui ed, do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum : Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him! fie upon you !
Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I krov not. There is Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunaties ! hast thou no an- no woman's gown bis enough for him; otherwise, derstandings for thy cases, the numbers of the he taight put on a bal, a muller, and a kerchief, and genders! Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as so escape. I would desires.
Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extreMrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.
mity, rather than a mischief. Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of your pronouns.
Brentford, has a gown above. Wiu. Forsooth, I have forgot.
Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's Eva. It is ki, 'ke, kod; if you forget your kies, as big as he is. and there's her thrum'd hat, and your kes, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go her muffler too : run up, sir John. your ways, and play, go.
Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John: mistress Page Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought and I will look some linea for your head.
Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, mis- straight; put on the gowo the wbile. [Erit Pal. tress Page.
Mrs. Ford, I would my husband would meet him Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hugh.[Exit Sir Hugh) in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long Brentford : he swears she's a witch; forbade her
(Exeunt. my house, and hath threatened to beat her.
Mrs. Page. Heaven guide bim to thy husband's SCENE II. A Room in Ford's House.
endgel; and the devil gnide his cudget afterwards ! Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.
Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming ? Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten op my Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he ; and talks sufferance: I see, you are obsequions in yoor love, of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence. and I profess requital to a hair's breadth ; not only, Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all men to carry the basket aguin, to meet him at the the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. door with it, as they did last time. But are you sure of your husband now !
Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be bere presently: let's Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John. go dress him like the witch of Brentford. Mrs. Page. (Within] What hoa, gossip Ford ! Mrs. Ford, I'll first direct my men what they hạt hoa !
shall do with the basket. Go ap, I'll bring linen Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John. for himn straight.
(Exit. (Exit Falstaff Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we canEnter Mrs. Page.
not misuse him enough. Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at
We'll leave a proof by that which we will do, home beside yourself!
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too : Mrs. Foril. Why, none but mine own people.
We do not act, that often jest and laugh:
"Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. Mrs. Page. Indeed?
[Exit. Mrs. Ford. No, certainly;--speak louder. [ Aside.
Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have no Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with tro Servants. body here.
Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on Mrs. Ford. Why?
your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your hasband is in his bid you set it down, obey him : quickly, despatch. old lanes again: he so takes on yonder with my
(Exit. husband ; so rails against all married mankind; so
1 Serv. Come, come, take it up. carses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion so 2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight ever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, again. Peer out, peer out! that any madness I ever yet be
I Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead. held, seemed bat tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now : I am glad the
Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh fat knight is not here.
Evans. Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?
Ford. Ay, bnt if it prove true, master Page, have Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears he was you any way then to unfool me again !--Set down the carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket, villain :--Somebody call my wite :--You, basket : protests to my husband, he is now here ; youth in a basket, come out here!-o, you pander to and hath drawn him and the rest of their company rascals! there's a knot, 4 ging, R pack, a conspiracy, from their sport, to make another experiment of his against me now shall the devil beshamed. What! suspicion : but I am glad the knight is not here; wife, I say! come, come furth; behold what honest now he shall see his own foolery.
clothes you send forth to ble iching. Mrs. Ford. How pear is he, mistress Page 1 Page. Why, this passes : Master Ford, you are not
Mrs. Page, Hard by; at street end; he will be to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned. here anon.
Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad Mrs. Ford. I am undone!--the knight is here. dog! Mrs. Page. Why, then yon are utterly shamed,
Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed. and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you!
Enter Mrs. Ford. ---Away with him, away with him; better shame
Ford. So say I too, sir.-- Come hither, mistress than murder.
Mrs. Ford. Which way should be go? how should Ford ; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest I bestow him Shall I pat him into the basket again fool to her husband ! - I suspect without cause, mis
wife, the virtuous creatnre, that hath the jealous Re-enter Falstall.
tress, do I? Pal. No, I'll come no more i'the basket: may 1 Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if not go out, ere he come!
you suspect me in any dishonesty. Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers Ford Well said, brazen-face hold it out. watch the door with pistols, that none should issue Come forth, sirrah. out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came.
[Pulls the clothes out of the Basket. But what make you here?
Page. This passes ! Fal. What shall I do! I'll creep up into the Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed I let the clothes chimney.
alone. Mrs. Ford. There they always are to discharge Ford. I sball find you anon. their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole. Eva. "Tis unreasonable! Will you take np your Fal. Where is it?
wife's clothes ! Come away.
Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Host. What Duke should that be, comes so seMrs. Ford. 'Why, mar, why,
cretly! I hear not of him in the court: Let me Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one speak with the gentlemen ; they speak English? conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket: Bard. Ay, sir, I'll call them to you. Why may not he be there again! Tu my house I am Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make sure he is: my intelligence is true; my jealousy is them pay, l'il sauce them : they have had my house reasonahle: Pluck me out all the linen.
a week at comma d; I have turned away my other Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die guests: they must come off'; P'll sauce them : Come, a fea's death.
(Exeunt. Page. Here's ro man. Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master SCENE IV. A Roont in Ford's House. Ford; this wrongs you. Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow
Enter Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.
Sir Hugh Evans. Ford Well, he's not here I seek for. Page. No, nor no where else, bat in your brain. Era. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as
Ford. Help to search my house this one time : if ever I did look upon. I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extre Page. And did le send you both these letters at inity, let me for ever be your table-sport: let them an instant! say of me, As jealous as Ford, tbat search'd a hollow M18. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. walnut for bis wife's leman. Satisfy me once more; Ford. Pardon me, wife: Herceforth do what thou once more search with me.
I rather will suspect the sun with cold, (wilt ; Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page ! come you, Than thee with wantonness : now doth thy honour and the old woman down; my husband will come In him that was of late an heretic,
(stand into the chamber.
As tirin as faith. Ford, Old woman! What old woman's that!
"Tis well, 'tis well; no more, Mrs. Ford. Wby, it is my maid's aunt of Brent. Be out as extreme in submission, ford.
As in ofleuce; Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! But let our plot go forward : let our wives Have I not forbid her my house! She comes of er Yet once again, to make us public sport, rands, does she? We are simple .men; we do not Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, know what's brought to pass under the profession of Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it. fortune-telling. She works by charms, by speils, by Ford. There is no better way than that they the figure, and such daubery as this is ; beyond our spoke of. element: we know nothing.---Come down, you Page. How! to send him word they'll meet him witch, you hay you; come down, I say.
in the park at midnight! be, tie! he'll never coine. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband ;-good Eva. You say he las been thrown in the rivers ; gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman Enter Falstaff in Women's Clothes, led by Mrs. Should not come; methinks his flesh is punished,
methinks, there should be terrors in hin, that he Page.
he shall have no desires. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me Page. So tbink I too.
Clie comes, your hand.
Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when Ford. I'll prat her :
-Out of my door, you witch! And let us two devise to bring him thither. [Beats him] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne ronyon ! oatl out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tel!
the hunter, you.
[Exit Falstaff. Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed ? I think, you Doth all the winter time, at still midnight, have killed the poor woman.
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns; Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-"Tis a goodly And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle ; credit for you.
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a Ford. Hang her, witch!
In a most hideous and dreadful manner. [cbain Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know, indeed : [ like not when a 'oman has a great peard ; The superstitions idle-headed eld I spy a great peard under her mufler.
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age, Ford. Wül you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth. follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again. In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: But what of this? Come, gentlemen.
Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device; (Exeunt Page, Ford, Shallow', and Evans. That Falstaff at that oak shull meet with us, Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head. * Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come, he beat him most unpitifully, methought.
And in this shape: When you have brought him Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and
thither, bung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service. What shall be done with him ? what is your plet?
Mrs. Foril. What think you? May we, with the Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought upon, warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good
and thus ; conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? Nan Page, my daughter, and my little son, Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure,
And three or four inore of their growth, we'll dress scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee- Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white, simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I With rounds of Waxen tapers on their heads, think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met, have served him?
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to With some ditlused song; upon their sight, scrape the figures out of your husbaud's brains. If We two in great amazedness will fly: they can find in their hearts, the poor un virtuous fat Then let them ull encircle him about, knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still
And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight; be the ministers.
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel, Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him pub- In their so sacred paths he dares to tread, licly shamed : and, methinks, there would be no pe- In shape profane. riod to the jest, should he not be publicly sbamed. Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, Let the supposed fairies pioch him sound, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Ereunt.
And burn bim with their tapers. SCENE JII. A Room in the Garter Inn,
The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit, Enter Host and Bardolph.
And mock him home to Windsor. Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of Ford
The children must your horses: the duke bimself will be to-morrow at Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. court, and they are going to meet him.
Eux. I will teach the children their behavionrs;
and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my knight with my taber.
life: and 1 paid nothing for it neither, but was paid Ford. That will be excellent. I'll yo bay them for my learning, vizards.
Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage ! mere cozenage ! Page. That silk will I go buy;--and in that time
Host. Where be my horses ? speak well of them, Shall master Slender steal my Nan away,
i Aside varletto. And marry her at Eton,---Go, send to Falstaff
Bard. Run away with the cozebers; for so soon straight.
as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from beFord. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook:
hind one of them, in a slough of mire ; and set spurs, He'll tell me all his purpose : sure he'll come.
and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Mrs. Page. Fear not you that : Go, get us pro
Faustuses. And tricking for our fairies.
Host. They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain : Eva. Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures, do not say, they be fled ; Germans are honest men. and (ery honest knaveries.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans. [Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans.
Eva. Where is mine host? Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Host. What is the matter, sir? Send quickly to sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit Mrs. Ford. is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is
Eva. Have a care of your entertainments : there I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page,
three consin Germans, that has eozened all the hosts
of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses That Slender, though weil landed, is an idiot ; And be my husband best of all affects :
and money. I tell you for a good will, look you : The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs ; Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her,
and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened : Fare Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. you well.
Enter Doctor Caius.
Caius. Vere is mine host de Carterre? SCENE Y. A Room in the Garter Inn.
Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and Enter Host and simple.
doubtful dilemma. Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick dat you make grand preparation for a Duke de Jar
Caius, I cannot tell vat is dat : but it is tell-a me, skin ? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, many: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is snap.
Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John know to come; I tell you for good vill : adieu. Falstaff from master Slender.
[Exit. Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle,
Host. Hoe and cry, villain, go :-assist me, knight; his standing-bed, and truckle-bed ; 'tis painted about I am undone :-Ay, run, hoe and cry, villain! I am with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go,
(Exeunt Host and Bardulph. knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophagi- I have been cozen's and beaten too. If it should
Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened ; for nian unto thee: Knock, I say. Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up formed, and how my transformation hath been wash
come to the ear of the court, how I have been transinto his chamber; I'll be so bold as to stay, sir, tilled and cudgeled, they would melt me out of my fat, she come down I come to speak with her, indeed.
Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed. drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir John ! speak from warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, thy lungs military : Art thou there! it is thine host, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never thine Ephesian, calls.
prospered since I foreswore myself at Primero. Fal. [Above) How now, mine host?
Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming prayers, I would repent.-down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let
Enter Mrs. Quickly.
Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.
Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have now with me; but she's gone.
suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villaSim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of nous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear, Brentford ?
Quick. And have not they suffered ? Yes, I warrant; Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would speciously, one of them; mistress Ford, good heart,
is beaten you with her ?
ack and blue, that you cagnot see a white Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to spot about her.
Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue! I her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nyin, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of
was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, had the chain, or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Breutford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir!
my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deFal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that liver'd me, the knave constable had set me the beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened' him stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. of it.
Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamSim. I would, I could have spoken with the wo-ber: you shall hear how things go ; and, I warrant, man herself ; I had other things to have spoken with to your content. Here is a leiter will say some what. her too, from him.
Good hearts, wbat ado here is to bring you together! Fal. What are they ! let us know.
Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that Host. Ay, come ; quick.
you are so crossed. Sim. I may not conceal them, sir.
Fal. Come up into my chamber. [ Exeunt. Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.
SCENE VI. Another Room in the Garter Inn. Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page ; to know if it were my master's
Enter Fenton and Host. fortune to have her, or no.
Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.
heavy, I will give over all. Sim. What, sir?
Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my parFal. To have her,--or no : Go; say, the woman And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee [pose, told me so.
A hundred pounds in gold, more than your loss. Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir?
Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold?
at the least, keep your counsel. Sim. I thank your worship : I shall make my mas Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you ter glad with these tidings.
(Exit. With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page Host. Thou art elerkly, thou art clerkly, sir John : Who, mutually, bath answered my affection Was there a wise woman with thee!
(So far forth as herself might be her chooser), Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath Even to my wish : I have a letter from her
Of such contents as you will wonder at;
Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come That neither, singly, can be manifested,
to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries, budget ; Without the show of both ;-wherein fat Falstaff and by that we know one another. Hath a great scene; the image of the jest
Shal. That's good too : But what needs either your
[Showing the Letter. mum, or her budget! the white will decipher her well I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host : enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock. To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one, Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will beMust iny sweet Nan present the fairy queen; come it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man The purpose why, is here ; in which disguise, means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by While other jests are something rank on foot, his horns. Let's away ; follow me. (Eseunt. Her father hath commanded her to slip Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
SCENE III, The Street in Windsor. Immediately to marry: she hath consented :
Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Doctor Caius. Now, sir, Her mother, even strong against that match
Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green : And tirm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
when you see your time, take her by the hand, away That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
with her to the deauery, and despatch it quickly: Go While other sports are tasking of their minds,
before into the park; we two must go together. And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Caius. I know vat I have to do ; Adieu. Straight marry her : to this her mother's plot Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. (Exit Caius) My She, seemingly ubedient, likewise hath
husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Made promise to the doctor ;-Now, thus it rests:
Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my Her father means she shall be all in white; daughter : but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
than a great deal of heart-break. To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of She shall go with him :-her mother hath intended,
fairies! and the Welsh devil, Hugh? 'The better to denote her to the doctor
Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by (For they must all be mask'd and vizarded),
Here's oak, with obscu ed lights; which, at the That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrob’d,
very instant of Falstafl's and our meeting, they will With ribands pendant, faring 'bout her head;
at onee display to the night. And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked ; 'The maid hath given consent to go with him. (ther? if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked. Host. Which means she to deceive? father or mo
Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me : Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their leAnd here it rests, -that you'll procure the vicar
Those that betray them do no treachery. [chery, To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; To the oak, to And, in the lawful name of marrying,
(Eseunt. To give our hearts united ceremony.
SCENE IV. Windsor Park.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Fairies.
and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib.
[ Exeunt ACT V.
SCENE V. Another Part of the Park. SCENE I. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Falstaff, disguised with a Buck's Head on.
Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Quickly.
minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling;--go. I'll hold:
me !--Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy EaThis is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd ropa; love set on thy horns.-0 powerful love that, numbers. Away, 89; they say, there is divinity in in some respects, makes a beast a man; in some odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a Away.
swan, for the love of Leda ;--0, omnipotent love! Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what how near the god drew to the complexion of a I can to get you a pair of horns.
goose ! A fault done first in the form of a heast;--O Fal. Away, I say; times wear: hold up your head, Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the and mince.
[Exit Mrs. Quickly. semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a foul fault.
When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men dot Enter Ford. How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter i think, i'the forest : send me a cool rut-time, Jove,
For me, I am here a Windsor-stag; and the fattest, will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and
here ? my doe? see wonders. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you
Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page. told me you bad appointed ?
Mrs. Ford. Sir John, art tlou there, my deert my Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like male deer? a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook,
Fal. My doe with the black scutl-Let the sky like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her rain potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of Green husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Sleeves, bail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let master Brook, that ever governed phrensy. I will there come a tempest of provocation,
I will shelter tell you.-He beat me grievously in the shape of a me here.
[Embracing her. woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetfear not Goliath with a weaver's beam ; because I heart. know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: along with me; I'll tell you all, mas'er Brook. I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your top, I know not what it was to be beaten till ately. husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave the hunter 1- Why, now is Cupid a child of conFord : on whom to-night I will be revenged, and science; he makes restitution. 'AS'I am true spirit, will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow : welcome!
Noise within. Strange things in hand, master Brook! follow. Mrs. Page. Alas 'what noise ?
Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins !
Fal. What should this bo!
[They run off. Page. Come, come; we'll couch i'the castle-ditch, Fal. I think, the devil will not have me damned, till we see the light of our fairies. Remember, son lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire ; he Slender, my daughter.
would never else cross me thus.
Mrs. Ford Away, away.