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Beat. No: an he were, I would barn my study, Claud. No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment. But, I pray yon, who is his companion ? Is there no Bene. Why, i'taith, methinks she is too low for a young squarer now, that will make a voyage with him high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little to the devil!
for a great praise : only this commendation I can afford Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble her; that were she other than she is, she were anhandClaudio.
some ; and being no other but as she is, I do not like Beat. O Lord! he will hang upon him like a dis- her. ease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the Claud. Thou thinkest, I am in sport ; I pray thee taker runs presently mad.
God help the noble Clau- tell me truly how thou likest her? dio ! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost hiin Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire after a thousand pound ere he be cured.
her! Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady.
Claud. Can the world buy snch a jewel ! Beat. Do, good friend.
Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak Leon. You will never ran mad, niece.
you this with a sad brow! or do you play the flouting Beat. No, not till a hot January.
to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder, and VulM€88. Don Pedro is approached.
can a rare carpenter. Come, in what tey sballa man Enter Don Pedro, attended by Balthazar, and
Clauit. In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that others; Don John, Claudio, and Beneriick.
ever I looked on. D. Pedro. Good signior Leonato, you are come to Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is lo avoid such matter : there's her cousin, an she were not poscost, and you encounter it.
sessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as Leon. Never came trouble to my house in the like the first of May doth the last of December. But I ness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort hope you have no intent to turn husband ; have yon! should remain; but when you depart from me, sorrox Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had abides, and bappiness takes his leave.
sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. D. Pedro. You embrace your charge too willingly. Bene. Is it come to this, i'faith! Hath not the world -I think this is your daughter.
one man, but he will wear his cap with suspicion ? Leon. Her mother bath inauy times told me so. Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore again ? Go Bene. Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her? to, i'faith ; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a
Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. child.
Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek yon. D. Pedro. You have it fall, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the
Re-enter Don Pedro. Jady fathers herself:--Be happy, lady! for you are
D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you like an honourable fatber.
followed not to Leonato's! Bene. If signior Leopato be her father, she would Bene. I would, your grace would constraia not have his head on her shoulders, for all Messina, tell. as like hiin as she is.
D. Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance. Beat. I wonder, that you will still be talking, signior Bene. You hear, count Claudio : I can be secret as Benedick ; bobody marks you.
a dumb man, L.would have you think so: but on my Bene. What, my dear lady Disdain ! are you yet allegiance,-mark you this, on my allegiance :---He is living?
in love. With who?-now that is your grace's part.Brat. Is it possible, disdain should die, while she Mark, how short his answer is :-With Hero, Leohath such meet food to feed it, as signior Benedick? nato's short daughter. Courtesy itself must convert to disduin, if you come
Claud. If this were so, so were it uttered. in her presence.
Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so, nor Bene. Then is courtesy a turn-coat :-But it is cer- 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so. tain, I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and Claud. If my passion change not shortly, God forI would I could find in my heart that I bad not a bard bid it should be otherwise. heart : for, truly, I love none.
D. Pedro. Amen, if you love her; for the lady is Beat. A dear happiness to women; they would else very well worthy. have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank Claud. You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. God, and my cold blood, I ain of your humour for that; D. Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man Claud. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mite. swear he loves me.
Bene. And, by any two faiths and tioths, my lord, I Bene. God keep your ladysbip still in that nind! spoke mine. so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predesti Claud. That I love her, I feel. nate scratched face.
D. Pedro. That she is worthy, I know. Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere Bene. That I neither feel how she should be loved, such a face yours
nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the Beat. A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast stake. of yours.
D. Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretie in Bene. I would my horse had the speed of your the despite of beauty. tongne; and so good a continuer : Bat keep your way Clauit. And never could maintain his part, but in o'Cod's name; I have done.
the force of his will. Beat. You always end with a jade's trick ; I kno's Bene. Ibat a woman conceived me, I thank ler; you of old.
that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humD. Pedro. This is the sum of all: Leonato,--signior ble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my Claudio, and siguior Benedick,--my dear friend Leo- forehead, or liang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, an nato bath invited you all. I tell him, we shall stay women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them here at the least a month; and he heartily prays some the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no to trust none; and the tine is, (for the which I may hypocrite, but prays from his heart.
go the finer), I will live a bachelor. Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be for D. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with sworn.-Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being re- love. conciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger,
D. John. I thank you : I am not of many words, my lord ; not with love: prove, that ever I lose more but I thank you.
blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, Leon. Please it your grace lead on?
pick out mine eyes with a balladi-maker's pen, and D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato; we will go together. hang ine up at the door of a brothel-bouse, for the
(Exeunt all but Benedick and Claulio. sign of blind Cupid. Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of D. Ped: o. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this signior Leonato!
faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. Bene. I noted her not; but I looked on her.
Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and Claud. Is she not a modest young lady?
shoot at me, and he that hits me, let him be clapped Bene. Do you question me, as an honest man should on the shoulder, and called Adam. do, for my simple true judgment ! or would you have D. Pedro. Weil, as time shull try : ne speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke. to their sex!
Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible
Benedick bear it, pluck off the ball's horns, and set peradventure this be true. Go you, and tell her of it. them in my forehead : and let me be vilely painted; [Several Persons cross the Stage] Cousins, you know and in such great letters as they write, Here is good what you have to do...0, I cry you mercy, friend; you horse to hire, let them signify under my sign,--Here go with me, and I will use your skill :--Good cousins, you may see Benedick the married man.
have a care this busy time.
[Exeunt. Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.
SCENE III. Another Room in Leonato's House. D. Pedro. Nay, if Capid have not spent all his
Enter Don John and Conrade. quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.
Con. What the goujere, my lord! why are you Bene. I look for an earthquake too then.
thus ont of measure sad? D. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the mean time, good signior Benedick, repair to breeds it, therefore the sadness is without limit.
D. John. There is no measure in the cccasion that Leonato's; commend me to him, and tell him, I will
Con. You should hear reason. not fail him at sapper; for, indeed, he hath made great
D. John. And when I have heard it, what blessing preparation.
bringeth it? Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage ; and so I commit you
Con. If not a present remedy,yet a patient sufferance. Claud. To the tuition of God : from my house, (if thou art) born under Saturn, goest about to apply a
D. John. I wonder, that thou being (as thou say'st I had it) D. Pedro. The sixth of Jaly: Your loving friend, hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and
moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot Benedick. Bene. Nay, mock not; mock not: The body of your and wait for no man's leisure ; sleep when I am
smile at no man's jests; eat when I have a stomach, guards are but slightly basted on neither; ere you flout drowsy, and tend to no man's business laugh when old ends any further, examine your conscience; and
I am merry, and claw no man in his humour. so I leave you.
Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show of
[Brit. Claud. My liege, your highness now may do me of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en
this, till you may do it without controlment. You have D. Pedro. My love is thine to teach ; teach it but should take trae root, bat by the fair weather that you
you newly into his grace ; where it is impossible you And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn Chow, Any hard lesson that may do thee good.
make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season claud. Hath Leonato any son, my lord !
for your own harvest. D. Pedro. No child but Hero, she's his only heir:
D. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge, than Dost thou affect her, Claudio ?
a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be Claud.
O, my lord,
disdained of all, than to fashion a carriage to rob love When you went onward on this ended action,
from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flatI look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,
tering honest man, it must not be denied that I am a That lik'd, but had a rougher in hand
plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle, and Than to drive liking to the name of love :
enfranchisod witholog; therefore I have decreed not But now I am return'd, and that war-thoughts
tu sing in my cage ; if I had my mouth, I would bite;
if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the mean Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
Con. Can you make no use of your discontent? All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
D. John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. Saying, I lik'd her ere I went to wars.
Who comes here? What news, Borachio ! D. Pedro. Thou wilt
be like a lover presently, And tire the hearer with a book of words:
Enter Borachio. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it;
Bora. I came yonder from a great sapper; the prince, And I will break with her, and with her father, your brother, is royally entertained by Leonato; and And thou shalt have her: Was't not to this end, I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage. That thou began'st to twist so fine a story!
D. John. Will it serve for any model to build misClaud. How sweetly do you minister to love chief on! What is he for a fool that betroths himself That know love's grief by his complexion !
to unquietness! But lest my liking might too sudden seem,
Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand. I would have salved it with a longer treatise.
D. John. Who? the most exquisite Claudio ! D. Pedro. What need the bridge much broader than Bora. Even he. The fairest grant is the necessity : (the food! D. John. A proper squire! And who, and who? Look, what will serve, is fit: 'tis once, thou lov'st; which way looks he? And I will fit thee with the remedy.
Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of I know, we shall have revelling to-night;
Leonato. I will assume thy part in some disguise,
D. John. A very forward March chick! How came And tell fair Hero I amn Claudio ;
you to this? And in her bosom I'll anelasp my heart,
Bora. Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was And take her hearing prisoner with the force smoking a dusty room, comes me the prince and ClauAnd strong encounter of my amorous tale :
dio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me beThen, after, to her father will I break;
hind the arras ; and there heard it agreed upon, that And, the conclusion is, she shall be thine :
the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having In practiee, let us put it presently.
(Eseunt. obtained her, give her to count Claudio.
D. John. Cume, come, let us thither; this may prove SCENE IL. A Room in Leonato's House. food to my displeasure that young start-up haih all Enter Leonato and Antonio.
the glory of my overthrow; if I can cross him any
way, I bless myself every way : You are both sure, Leon. How now, brother? where is my cousin, your and will assist me! son ? Hath he provided this musio ?
Con. To the death, my lord, Ant. He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can D. John. Let us to the great supper; their cheer is tell you strange news that you yet dreamed not of. the greater that I am subdued. 'Wonld the cook were Leon. Are they good ?
of my mind !--shall we go prove what's to be done? Ant. As the event stamps them, but they have a Bara. We'll wait upon your lordship. [Exeunt. good cover, they show well outward. The prince and count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in my orchard, were thas much overheard by a man of
ACT II. mine: The prince discovered to Claudio, that he loved my niece your daughter, and meant to acknowledge SCENE I. A Hall in Leonato's House. it this night in a dance ; and, if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top, Enter Leopato, Antonio, Hero, Beatrice, and others and instantly break with you of it.
Leon. Was not count John here at supper? Leon. Hath the fellow any wit that told you this? Ant. I saw him bot.
Ant. A good sharp fellow : I will send for him, and Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks ! I never can question him yourself.
see him, but I am heart-burned an hour after. Leon. No, no ; we will hold it as a dream, till it ap Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition. pear itself:--but I will acquaint my daughter withal, Beat. Hewere an excellent man, that were made just that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if in the mid-way between him and Benedick: the one is
too like an image, and says nothing; and the other, D. Pedro. Speak low, if you speak love. too like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling.
(Takes her aside. Leon. Then balf signior Benedick's tongue in count Bene. Well, I would you did like me. John's mouth, and half count John's melancholy in Marg. So would not I for your own sake ; for! signior Benedick's face,
have many ill qualities. Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and
Bene. Which is one? money enough in his parse, such a man would win Marg. I say my prayers aloud. any woman in the world,-if he could get her good Bene. I love you the better; the hearers may cry, will.
Amen. Leon. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee Marş. God match me with a good dancer ! a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
Balth. Amen. Ant. In faith, she is too curst.
Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, when Beat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen the dance is done !-- Answer, clerk. God's sending that way : for it is said, God sends a Balth. No more words; the clerk is answered. curst coro short horns; but to a cow too carst le Urs. I know you well enough ; you are signior sends none.
Antonio. Leon. So, hy being too curst, God will send you no Ant. At a word, I am not. horns.
Urs. I know you by the waggling of your head. Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which Ant. To tell you true, I counterfeit hím. blessing, I am at him upon my kuees every morning Urs. You could never do bim so ill-well, unless and evening: Lord! I could not endure a husband with you were the very man ; Here's his dry hand up and a beard on his face; I had rather lie in the woollen, down; you are he, you are he.
Leon. You may light upon a husband, that hath Ant. At a word, I am not. no beard.
Urs. Come, come ; do you think I do not know Beat. What should I do with bim? dress him in my you by your excellent wití Can virtae hide itself? apparel, and make him my waiting gentlewoman! He to to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and that liath a beard, is more than a youth ; and he that there's an end.' hath no beard, is less than a man; and he that is more Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so ? than a youth, is not for me: and he that is less than a Bene. No, you shall pardon me. man, I am not for him. Therefore, I will even take Beat. Nur will you not tell me who you are? sixpence in earnest of the bear-herd, and lead his Bene, Not now. apes into hell.
Beat. That I was disdainful, and that I had my Leon. Well then, so you into hell!
good wit out of the Hundred merry Tales Well, Beat. No; but to the gate ; and there will the devil this was signior Benedick that said so. meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, Bene. What's be! and say, Gel you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven;
Beat, I am sure, you know him well enongh. here's no place for you maids : so deliver I up my Bene. Not I, believe me. apes, and away to saint Peter for the heavens, he Beat. Did he never make you laugh? shows where the bachelors sit, and there live we Bene. I pray you, what is he? as merry as the day is long,
Beat. Why, he is the prince's jester : a very dull Ant. 'Well, niece, (To Hero) I trust, you will be fool; only bís gift is in devising impossible slanders. ruled by your father.
none but libertines delight in him; and the comBeat. Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make mendation is not in his wit, but in his villany; for courtesy, and say, Father, as it please you but yet be both pleaseth men, and angers them, and then for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure, he is in else make another courtesy, and say, Father, as it the fleet; I would he had boarded me. please me.
Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day titted what you say with a husband.
Beat. Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or Beat. Not till God make men of some other netal two on me; which, peradventure, not marked, or not than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be over- laughed at, strikes him into melancholy; and then mastered with a piece of valiant dust ? to make an ac- there's a partridge' wing saved, for the fool will eat count of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, no supper that night. (Music within] We must uncle, l'1 none : Adam's sons are my brethren; and follow the leaders. traly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.
Bene. In every good thing Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you: if the Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your them at the next turning. answer.
[Dance. Then exeunt all but Don John, Beat. The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you
Borachio, and Claudio. be not woo'd in good time: if the prince be too impor D. John. Sure, my brother is amorous on Hero, and tant, tell him, there is measure in every thing, and so hath withdrawn ber father to break with him about dance out the answer. For hear me, Hero; wooing, it: the ladies follow her, and but one visor remains. wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, Bora. And that is Claudio : know him by his and a cinque-pace : the first suit is hot and hasty, like bearing. a Scotch jig, and fall as fantastical; the wedding, man D. John. Are you not signior Benedict ? nerly-modest, as a measure full of state and ancientry; Claud. You know me well; I am he. and then comes repentance, and, with his bad legs, D. John. Signior, you are very near my brother in falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, till be his love: he is enamoured on Hero; I pray you, dissink into his grave.
suade him from her, she is no equal for his birth : Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly, you may do the part of an honest man in it.
Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church Claud. How know you he loves her! by daylight.
D. John, I heard him swear his affection. Leon. The revellers are entering; brother, make Bora. So did I too ; and he swore be would marry good room.
D. John. Come, let us te the banquet. Enter Don Pedro, Claadio, Benedick, Balthazar ;
[Exeunt Don John and Borachio. Don John, Borachio, Margaret, Ursula, and others, Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick, masked.
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. D. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your Tis certain so ;-the prince woos for himself. friend?
Friendship is constant in all other things, Hero. So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say save in the office and affairs of love : nothing, I am yours for the walk; and, especially, Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues ; when I walk away.
Let every eye negociate for itself,', D. Pedro. With me in your company?
And trust no agent: for beauty is a witch, Hero. I may say so, when I please.
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. D. Pedro. And when please you to say so?
This is an accident of hourly proof, Hero. When I like your favour : for God defend, which I mistrusted not: Farewell therefore, Hero! the lute should be like the case ! D. Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; within the
Re-enter Benedick. house is Jove.
Bene. Count Claddio! Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'a. Claud. Yea, the same.
Bene. Come, will you go with me?
Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and Claud. Whither
I gave hin use for it, a double heart for his single Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own marry, once before, he won it of me with basiness, count. What fashion will you wear the false dice, therefore your grace may well say, I bave garland of ! About your neck, like an usurer's chain? lost it. or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must D. Pedro. You have put him down, lady, you have wear it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero. put him down. Claud. I wish him joy of her.
Beat. So I would not he should do me, my lord, Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drover; lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have so they sell bullocks. But did you think, the prince brought count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek. would have served you thus !
D. Pedro. Why, how now, count? wherefore are Claud. I pray you, leave me.
you sad ? Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man; 'twas Claud. Not sad, my lord. the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post. D. Pedro. How then! Sick! I Clawd. If it will not be, I'll leave you. [Erit. Claud. Neither, my lord.
Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep into Beat. The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, sedges. But, that my lady Beatrice should know nor well : but civil, count; civil as an orange, and me, and not know me! The prince's fool !-Ha! it something of that jealous complexion. may be, I go under that title, because I am merry.- D. Pedro. l'faith, lady, I think your blazon to be Yea; bat so; I am apt to do myself wrong: I am true; though I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit not so reputed; it is the base, the bitter disposition is false. Here, Clandio, I have wooed in thy name, of Beatrice, that puts the world into her person, and and fair Hero is won; I have broke with her father, so gives me out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may. and his good will obtained : name the day of mar
Re-enter Don Pedro, Hero, and Leonato, riage, and God give thee joy. D. Pedro. Now, signior, where's the count? Did her my fortunes; his grace hath made the match, and
Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with you see him ? Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of
all grace say Amen to it! lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a
Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cue. lodge in a warren ; I told him, and, I think, I told were but little happy, if I could say how much.--
Claud. Silence is the perfectest herald of joy : I him trne, that your grace had got the good will of Lady, as you are mine, I am yours : ! give away this young lady: and I offered him my company to a myself for you, and dote upon the exchange. forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy mouth with a kiss, and let him not speak, neither.
Beat. Speak, cousin; or if you cannot, stop his to be whipped. 1), Pedro. To be whipped! What's his fault?
D. Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry heart. Bene. The flat transgression of a school-boy; whe, on the windy side of care :-My cousin tells him in
Beat. Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps being overjoyed with finding a bird's best, shows it his ear, that he is in her heart. his companion, and he steals it. D. Pedro. With thou make a trust a transgression?
Claud. And so she doth, consin. The transgression is in the stealer.
Beat. Good lord, for alliance !-Thas goes every Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had been one to the world but I, and I am sun-burned; I may made, and the garland too; for the garland he might sit in a corner, and cry, heigh bo ! for a husband.
D. Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. have worn himself; and the rod he might have be
Beat. I would rather have one of your father's stow'd on you, who, as I take it, have stol'n his bird's nest.
getting Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you ! D. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and re
Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could store them to the owner.
come by them. Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my
D. Pedro. Will you have me, lady? faith, you say honestly,
Beat. No, my lord, unless I might have another D. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you; for working days : your grace is too costly to wear the gentleman, that danced with her, told her, she every day. But, I beseech your grace, pardon me; I is much wronged by you.
was born to speak all mirth, and no matter. Bene. O, she misused me past the endarance of a
D. Pedro. Your silence most offends me, and to block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would be merry best becomes you ; fur, ont of question, you have answer'd her; my very visor began to assume
were born in a merry hour, life, and scold with her: She told me, not thinking then there was a star danced, and under that was i
Beat. No, sure, my lord, my mother cry'd; but I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester; that born.-Cousins, God give you joy! I was daller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest, with such impossible conveyance, upon me, that
Leon, Niece, will you look to those things I told I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole
army you of! shooting at me: she speaks poniards, and every word
Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.-By your grace's stabs: if her breath were as terrible as her termina
Brit. tions, there were no living near her, she would infect
D. Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady. to the north star. I would not marry her,
though she her, my lord ; she is never sad, bat whea she sleeps
Leon. There's little of the melancholy element in fore he transgressed : she would have made Hercules and not ever sad then; for I have heard my daugh
ter say, she hath often dreamed of anhappiness, and have turned spit ; yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk
not of her; you shall waked herself with laughing: find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would
D. Pedro. She cannot endure to hear tell of a
husband. to God, some scholar would conjure her; for, certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in
Leon. O, by no means: she mocks all her wooers hell, as in a sanctuary; and people sin apon purpose,
out of suit. because they would go thither; so, indeed, all dis
D. Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Benedick. quiet, horror, and perturbation follow her.
Leon. O lord, my lord, if they were bat a week
married, they would talk themselves mad. Re-enter Claadio and Beatrice.
D. Pedro, Count Claudio, when mean you to go D. Pedro. Look, here she comes.
to church? Bene. Will your grace command me any service to Claud. To-morrow, my lord : Time goes on crutches, the world's end! I will go on the slightest errand till love have all his rites. now to the Antipodes, that you can devise to send me Leon. Not till Monday, my dear son, which is on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the hence a just seven-night, and a time too brief too, farthest inch of Asia ; bring you the length of Pres to have all things answer my mind. ter John's foot; fetch you & hair off the great Cham's D. Pedro. Come, you shake the head at so long a than hold three words' conference with this harpy: shall not go dully by us. I will, in the interim, beard; do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather breathing; but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time You have no employment for me?
andertake one of Hercules' labours; which is to bring D. Pedro. None, but to desire your good company. signior Benedick, and the lady Beatrice into a moun
Bene. O God, sir, here's a dish I love not; I can- tain of affection, the one with the other. I would not endure my lady Tongue.
[Exit. fain have it a match ; and I doubt not but to fashion D. Pedro. Come, lady, come ; you have lost the it, if you three will but minister such assistance as heart of signior Benedick.
I shall give you direetion,
Leon. My lord, I am for you, though it cost me now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe : I have ten nights' watehings.
known, when he would have walked ten mile afoot, Claud. And I, my lord.
to see a good armour ; and now will he lie ten nights D. Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero ?
awake, carving the fashion of a new doablet. He Hero. I will do any modest office, my lord, to help was wont to speak plain, and to the purpose, like an my cousin to a good hasband.
honest man, and a soldier; and now is he turn'dorD. Pedro. And Benedick is not the anhopefullest thographer; his words are a very fantastical banquet, husband that I know; thus far can I praise him; be just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted, is of a noble strain, of approved valour, and con- and see with these eyes? I cannot tell, I think not: firmed honesty. I will teach you how to humour your I will not be sworn, but love may travsform me to an cousin, that she shall fall in love with Benedick :
-oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made and I, with your two helps, will so practise on Be- an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool. nedick, that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy One woman is fair ; yet I am well : another is wise ; stomach, he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we yet I am 'well: another virtuous; yet I am well! can do this, Capid is no longer an archer ; his glory but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's cerwith me, and I will tell you my drift. [Exeunt. tain; wise, or I'll done ; virtuous, or I'll never
cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her ; mild, SCENE II. Another Room in Leonato's House.
or come not near me; nuble, or not I for an angel; Enter Don John and Borachio.
of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her
hair shall be of what coloar it please God. Ha! the D. John. It is so ; the count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato.
prince and monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour.
(Withdraws. Bora. Yea, my lord; but I can cross it.
D. John. Any bar, any cross, any impediment will Enter Don Pedro, Leonato, and Claudio. be medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to
D. Pedro. Come, shall we hear this music ? him; and whatsoever comes athwart his affection, ranges evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this As hush'd on purpose to grace barmony !
Claud. Yea, my good lord :-How still the evening
[is, marriage !
D. Pedro. See you where Benedick bath hid himself? Bora. Not honestly, my lord ; but so covertly, Claud. O, very well, my lord : the music ended, that no dishonesty sball appear in me.
We'll fit the kid-fox with a penny-worth.
Enter Balthazar, with Music. how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the wait
D. Pedro. Come, Balthazar, we'll hear that song ing gentlewoman to Hero.
again. D. John. I remember. Bora. I can at any unseasonable instant of the night, To slander music any more than once.
Balth. O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice appoint her to look oot at lady's chamber-window
D. Pedro. It is the witness still of excellency, D. John. What life is in that, to be the death of To put a strange face on his own perfection :this marriage ? Bora. The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.
Balth. Because you talk of wooing, I will sing ; you to the prince your brother : spare not to tell him, since many a wooer doth commence his suit that he hath wronged his honour in marrying the re- To her he thinks not worthy; yet he woos ; nowned Claudio (whose estimation do you mightily Yet will be swear, he loves. hold up), to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero.
Nay, pray thee, come : D. John. What proof shall I make of that? Or if thou wilt hold longer argument, Bora. Proof enough to misase the prince, to vex Do it in notes. Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato : look you Balth. Note this before my notes, for any other issue?
There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting. D. John. Only to despite them, I will endeavour
D. Pedro. Why these are very crotchets that he any thing Bora. Go then, find me a meet bour to draw Don Note, note, forsooth, and noting!
[ Music. Pedro and the count Claudio, alone : tell them, that you know that Hero loves me; intend a kind of zeal Is it not strange that sheep's gots should hale souls
Bene. Now, Divine air! now is his soal ravished !-both to the prince and Claudio, as-in love of your out of men's bodies 1--Well, a horn for my money, brother's honour who hath made this match ; and his when all's done. friend's reputation, who is thus like to be cozeped with the semblance of a maid, -that you have dis
Balthazar sings. covered th us. They will scarcely believe this without
I. trial : offer them instances; which shall bear no less
Balth. Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, likelihood, than to see me at her chamber-window;
en were deceivers ever; hear me call Margaret, Hero ; hear Margaret term
One foot in sea, and one on shore ; me Borachio; and bring them to see this, the very night before the intended wedding : for, in the mean
To one thing constant never :
Then sigh not so, time, I will so fashion the matter, that Hero shall be
But let them go, absent; and there shall appear such seeming truth of
And be you blithe and bonny: Hero's disloyalty, that jealousy shall be call'd assor
Converting all your sounds of woe ance, and all the preparation overthrown. D. John. Grow this to what adverse issue it can,
Into, Hey nonny, nonny.
II. I will put it in practice: Be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats.
Sing no more ditties, sing nio mo Bora. Be you constant in the accusation, and my
of dumps so dull and heavy; cunning shall not shame me.
The fraud of men was ever so, D. John. I will presently go learn their day of
Since summer frst was leavy. marriage.
Then sigh not so, &c.
D. Pedro By my troth, a good song
Balth. And an ill singer, my lord.
D. Pedro. Ha! no ; no, faith ; tbou sio gest well Bene. Boy,
enough for a shift. Boy. Signior.
Bene. [Aside) An he bad been a dog, that should Bene. In my chamber-window lies a book ; bring have howled thus, they would have hanged him : it hither to me in the orchard.
and I pray God, his bad voice bode no mischief! I Boy. I am bere already, sir.
had as lief have heard the night-raveo, come what Bene. I know that ;--but I would have thee hence, plague could have come after it. and here again. (Exit Boy)--I do much wonder, that P. Pedro. Yea, marry; (To Claudio)--Dost thoa one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when hear, Balthazar! I pray thee, get us some excellent de dedicates his behaviours to love, will, after he hath music; for to-morrow night we would have it at the laughed at such shallow follies in others, become the lady Hero's chamber-window. argument of his own sbarn, by falling in love : and Balth. The best I can, my lord. such a man is Claudio. I have known, when there D. Pedro. Do so farewell. (Exeunt Balthazar was no music with him but the drum and fife, and and Music) Come hither, Leonato : What was it