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Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch, and
FABIAN Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity ? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him.
Fab. Here he is, here he is :-How is't with you, sir ? how is't with you, man?
Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my private; go off.
Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you ?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.
Mal. Ah, ha! does she so ?
Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him ; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind.
Mal. Do you know what you say?
Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart ! Pray God, he be not bewitch'd !
Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman.
Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live.
My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. Mal. How now,
mistress? Mar. 0 lord !
Sir To. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: Do you not see, you move him? let me alone with him.
Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used.
Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock? how dost thou, chuck ?
Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit 48 with Satan: Hang him, foul collier 49 !
Mar. Get him to say his prayers; good sir Toby, get him to pray.
Mal. My prayers, minx ?
Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.
Mal. Go, hang yourselves all ! you are idle shallow things : I am not of your element; you shall know more hereafter.
[Erit. Sir To. Is't possible?
Fab. If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.
Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.
Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take air, and taint.
Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed.
Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he is mad; we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time, we
will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see,
Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.
Fab. More matter for a May morning.
Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I warrant, there's vinegar and pepper in't. Fab. Is't so saucy
y? Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but read.
Sir To. Give me. [reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.
Fab. Good, and valiant.
Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.
Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law.
Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for.
Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less.
Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,
Fab. Still you keep o'the windy side of the law ; Good.
Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy upon one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon mine ; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: Y'll give't him.
Mar. You may have very fit occasion for’t; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.
Sir To. Go, sir Andrew ; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou draw'st, swear horrible: for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twang’d off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earn'd him. Away.
Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Erit.
Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding ; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less ; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth, he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour ; and drive the gentleman, (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.
Enter OLIVIA and Viola. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him.
Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some borrid message for a challenge.
[Ereunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone, And laid mine honour too unchary out: There's something in me, that reproves my fault; But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof. Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion
bears, Go on my master's griefs.
Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me 50, 'tis my picture; Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny ; That honour, sav'd, may upon asking give?
Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my master.
Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that Which I have given to you? Vio.
I will acquit you. Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee well; A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. [Exit.
Re-enter Sir Toby Belch, and FABIAN.
Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee.
Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end :