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One lettuce makes a shift to squeeze
A TRUE AND FAITHFUL INVENTORY OF THE
GOODS BELONGING TO DR. SWIFT, VICAR OF
A candlestick, snuff-dish, and save-all:
DESCRIPTION OF AN AUTHOR'S BEDCHAMBER,
face: The morn was cold, he views with keen desire The rusty grate unconscious of a fire : With beer and milk arrears the frieze was scor'd, And five crack’d tea.cups dress’d the chimney•
board; A night-cap deck'd his brows instead of bay, cap by night-a stockipg all the day!
ADDRESS TO HIS ELBOW-CHAIR, NEW CLOTHED.
True, thou art spruce and fine, a very bean; But what are trappings and external show? To real worth alone I make my court; Knaves are my scorn,
and coxcombs are my sport. Once I beheld thee far less trim and gay, Ragged, disjointed, and to worms a prey; The safe retreat of every lurking mouse; Derided, shunn'd; the lumber of my house. Thy robe how chang’d from what it was before! Thy velvet robe, which pleas'd my sires of yore! 'Tis thus capricious fortune wheels us round; Aloft we mount—then tumble to the ground. Yet grateful then, my constancy I prov'd; I knew thy worth ; my friends in rags I loved: I lov'd thee more; nor, like a courtier spurn'd My benefactor when the tide was turn'd. With conscious shame, yet frankly, I confess, That in my youthful days I lov'd thee less. Where vanity, where pleasure call’d, I stray'd, And every wayward appetite obey'd; But sage experience taught me how to prize Myself, and how this world : she bade me rise To nobler flights, regardless of a race Of factious emmets; pointed where to place My bliss, and lodg'd me in thy soft embrace.
. SATIRICAL AND HUMOROUS. 199
So safe on shore the pension'd sailor lies,
THE PHAETON, AND THE ONE-HORSE CHAIR.
* Blagrave, well known at Oxford for letting out carriages. t in the road to Blenheim.
"How could my master place me here Within thy vulgar atmosphere? From classic ground pray shift thy station, - sud Thou scorn of Oxford education! Your homely make, believe me, man, Is quite upon the gothic plan; And you, and all your clumsy kind, For lowest purposes design'd: Fit only, with a one-ey'd mare, To drag, for benefit of air, The country parson's pregnant wife, Thou friend of dull domestic life! Or, with his maid and aunt, to school To carry Dicky on a stool : Or, haply, to some christening gay A brace of godmothers convey.Or, when bless'd Saturday prepares For London tradesmen rest from cares, 'Tis thine to make them happy one day, Companion of their genial Sanday ! 'Tis thine, o'er turnpikes newly made, When timely show'rs the dust have laid, To bear some alderman serene To fragrant Hampstead's silvan scene.. Nor higher scarce thy merit rises, Among the polish'd sons of Isis. Hir'd for a solitary crown, Canst thou to schemes invite the gown? Go, tempt some prig, pretending taste, With hat new-cock’d, and newly lacid, O'er mutton-chops and scanty wine, At homble Dorchester to dine! Mean time remember, lifeless drone! I carry bucks and bloods alone.