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And oh! whene'er the weather's friendly,
What inn at Abingdou or Henley,
But still my vast importance feels,
And gladly greets my entering wheels !
And think, obedient to the throng,
How yon gay street we smoke along :
While all with envious wonder view
The corner turn'd so quick and true.

To check an upstart's empty pride,
Thus sage the One-Horse Chair replied:

'Pray, when the consequence is weigh’d, What's all your spirit and parade? From mirth to grief what sad transitions, Ta broken bones, and impositions ! Or if po bones are broke, what's worse, Your schemes make work for Glass and Nourse*. On us pray spare your keer reproaches, From One-Horse Chairs men rise to Coaches; If calm Discretion's stedfast hand With cautious skill the reins command, From me fair Health's fresh fountain springs. O’er me soft Spugness spreads her wings : And Innocence reflects ber ray To gild my calm sequester'd way: E’en kings might quit their state to share Contentment and a One-Horse Chair.What though, o'er yonder echoing street Your rapid wheels resound so sweet; Shall Isis’ sons thus vainly prize A rattle of a larger size?'

Blagrave, who during the dispute, Stood in a corner, snug and mute,

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Surpris'd, no doubt, in lofty verse
To hear his Carriages converse,
With solemn face, o’er Oxford ale,
To me disclos'd this wondrous tale :
I straight dispatch'd it to the Muse,
Who brush'd it up for Jackson's news,
And, what has oft been penn'd io prose,
Added this moral at the close :

Things may be useful, thongh obscure;
The pace that's slow is often sure :
When empty pageantries we prize,
We raise but dust to blind our eyes.
The Golden Mean can best bestow
Safety for unsubstantial show.” T. Warton.

6

THE PROGRESS OF DISCONTENT. When now mature in classic knowledge, The joyful youth is sent to college, His father comes, a vicar plain, At Oxford bred, in Apna's reign, And thus, in form of humble suitor, Bowing accosts a reverend tutor: "Sir, I'm a Glo'stershire divine, And this my eldest son of nine; My wife's ambition and my own Was that this child should wear a gown; I'll warrant that his good behaviour Will justify your future favour; And, for his parts, to tell the truth, My son's a very forward youth ; Has Horace all by heart-you'd wonderAnd mouth's out Homer's Greek like thunder.

If you'd examine--and admit him,
A scholarship would nicely fit him;
That he succeeds 'tis ten to one;
Your vote and interest, sir!'-'Tis done.

Our pupil's hopes, though twice defeated,
Are with a scholarship completed :
A scholarship but half maintains,
And college-rules are heavy chains :
In garret dark he smokes and puns,
A prey to discipline and duns;
And now, intent on new designs,
Sighs for a fellowship-and fines.

When nine full tedious winters past,
That utmost wish is crown'd at last:
But the rich prize no sooner got,
Again he quarrels with his lot:
• These fellowships are pretty things,
We live indeed like petty kings :
Bat who can bear to waste his whole age
Amid the dulness of a college,
Debarrd the common joys of life,
And that prime bliss-a loving wife!
O! what's a table richly spread,
Without a woman at its head!
Would some snug benefice but fall,
Ye feasts, ye dinners ! farewell all!
To offices I'd bid adieu,
Of Dean, Vice Præs.-of Bursar too;
Come joys, that rural quiet yields,
Come, tythes, and house, and fruitful fields !

Too fond of freedom and of ease
A patron's vanity to please,
Long time he watches, and, by stealth,
Each frail incumbent's doubtful healtlı;

At length, and in his fortieth year,
A living drops-two hundred clear!
With breast elate beyond expression,
He hurries down to take possession,
With rapture views the sweet retreat-
• What a convenient house ! how neat!
For fuel here's sufficient wood:
Pray God the cellars may be good!
The garden—that must be new plann'd-
Shall these old-fashion'd yew-trees stand?
O’er yonder vacant plot shall rise
The flowery shrub of thousand dies :
Yon wall, that feels the southern ray,
Shall blush with ruddy fruitage gay:
While thick beneath its aspect warm
O'er well-rang'd hives the bees shall swarm,
From which, ere long, of golden gleam
Metheglin's luscious juice shall stream :
This awkward hnt, o'ergrown with ivy,
We'll alter to a modern privy:
Up yon green slope of hazels trim,
An avenue so cool and dim
Shall to an harbour, at the end,
In spite of gout, entice a friend.
My predecessor lov'd devotion-
But of a garden had no notion.'

Continuing this fantastic farce on,
He now commences country parson.
To make his character entire,
He weds-a cousin of the 'Squire :
Not over weighty in the purse,
But many doctors have done worse :
And though she boasts no charms divine,
Yet she can carve and make birch wine.

1

Thas fix'd, content he taps his barrel,
Exhorts his neighbours not to quarrel;
Finds his church wardens have discerning
Both in good liquor and good learning i
With tythes his barns replete he sees,
And chuckles o'er his surplice fees;
Studies to find out latent dues,
And regulates the state of pews;
Rides a sleek mare with purple housing,
To share the monthly club's carousing;
Of Oxford pranks facetious tells,
And—but on Sundays-hears no bells;
Sends presents of his choicest fruit,
And prunes himself each sapless shoot;
Plants cauliflow'rs, and boasts to rear
The earliest melons of the year;
Thinks alteration charming work is,
Keeps Bautam cocks, and feeds his turkeys:
Builds in his copse à favourite bench,
And stores the pond with carp and tench.-

But ah! too soon his thoughtless breast
By cares domestic is oppress’d;
And a third butcher's bill, and brewing,
Threaten inevitable ruin :
For children fresh expenses yet,
And Dicky now for school is fit.
"Why did I sell my college life,'
He cries, 'for benefice and wife ?
Return, ye days, when endless pleasure
I found in reading, or in leisure!
When calm around the common room
I puff d my daily pipe's perfume !
Rode for a stomach, and inspected,
At annual bottlings, corks selected :

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