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voman in a ball-room? Who ever saw a Parisian woman under such circumstances, calm and tranquil, in her whole life? How then should the flâneur be expected to observe, and much more to describe her? All that he can say about her is, that he has a firm belief in the old Parisian fairy legend, that tells how, once upon a time, the Parisian woman came into the world full of all sorts of defects, and how a kind fairy took pity on her, and, on each of these defects stamped a charm, and how the good fairy's name was Grace.

To enter into all the various characteristics of different Parisian salons, would be almost as hopeless a task. One prevailing tint, with shades of difference, which it would take infinite time to paint, pervades them all. One remark, however, that a foreigner cannot fail of making, on entering any of the more extensive réunions in the French capital, such as those of the Embassies, is the diversity of political parties that meet together in them, and the general diffusion of so many contrary elements. Vinegar and oil, with all their accompanying but incongruous et-ceteras in a salad-bowl, do not mix together into a more pleasant and harmonious whole, than do political contraries in that great saladbowl, society. Names always clash, and fight, and howl defiance, when they meet together, upon paper; but the very men who bear them, may be seen standing peaceably, side by side, in a Parisian salon, like relics in an old curiosity shop, where idols of every age and clime lie pell-mell by each other, the head of a Grecian Apollo near an Indian fetish, an Egyptian Apis beside an Ecce Homo of the middle ages. In that curious museum of humanity, called a Parisian salon, an old mousquetaire, who has danced with Marie Antoinette, is shouldered by a philanthropist, who has been worshipped in the National Assembly, or a tamed Republican, who has been enshrined in the Directional Luxembourg-a great dignitary of the Empire, before whose sway all Europe trembled, bows to a lay Jesuit, a sovereign of the restoration, - all alike divinities of their day, and now, alike fallen, mutilated, tarnished, worm-eaten,-false gods, whose religion is rejected, and in whom few any longer put their trust,-while Legitimist and Orleanist, Doctrinaire and Liberal of the present day, shake hands in "much admired disorder."

SORELY THEY HAVE TEASED ME.

FROM THE GERMAN OF HEINE.

SORELY they have teased me,
And vexed me early and late,
Some with too much loving,

Others from downright hate.

They poisoned the drink in my cup,
They poisoned the bread I ate,

Some with too much loving,

Others from downright hate.

But she who most has grieved me,

Who saddened and changed my fate,

Alas! she never loved me

She did not even hate.

BRIAN O'LINN ;

OR, LUCK IS EVERYTHING.

BY THE AUTHOR OF WILD SPORTS OF THE WEST."

[WITH AN ILLUSTRATION BY J. LEECH.]

CHAPTER XVIII.

The dwarf dines with us. I commit an assault-escape the station-house-and obtain an introduction to the drawing-room.

I FELT like a man in a dream, and could scarcely persuade myself that the occurrences of last night were actual realities. Had I been tricked by a male swindler, and cozened by a courtesan ? I had—and no mistake; and, after a flattering self-examination of five minutes, I came to the honest conclusion that the loyal gentlemen, my ancestors, who had their necks disjointed, were Solomons come to judgment compared with me their unworthy descendant, and that in the history of the Elliotts I should be found the greatest ass that ever bore the name.

This agreeable train of thought was broken by the entry of Brian. "How do you feel this morning?" inquired the smiling Patlander. "That I am the sublimest fool within the bills of mortality," was my conscientious reply.

"I think my return to London was rather opportune, inasmuch as I have delivered you from the hands of the Philistines."

"You delivered me, my dear Brian, from far worse, the snares of one of the most specious wretches who ever united a fair face to a depraved heart."

“ Faith, in your estimate of the lady we are likely to agree in opinion. Have you seen or heard anything of her this morning ?"

"Yes; she beat a retreat last night, and bolted with bag and baggage, leaving the canary, which you see hanging in the window, as the representative of its amiable mistress."

"Well," said Brian, "had this devil in the shape of woman, succeeded in entrapping you into matrimony, what would you have done?" "Beaten out the male swindler's brains, and afterwards taken a double dose of Prussic acid. By the way, I had better send to the chemist's for a supply before the arrival of that infernal dwarf. Before I am in his company half an hour, I feel that I shall be a candidate for a strait waistcoat. He'll drive me mad. What shall I say? I'll tell him that Mrs. Bouverie died suddenly last night."

"No, no,” replied the young Irishman. "He would request permission to have a peep at the corpse. You know the proverb,-those who take soup with the gentleman under the cellar, require a long spoon. You have not a chance with yellow-slippers; and, were I in your place, I would pluck up courage, and out with the truth, though it choked me." "I believe you are right, friend Brian,—and I'll make a clean breast at once. It requires desperate resolution, however; and, instead of the disclosure, and the pleasant remarks it will elicit from that thing of legs and arms, how willingly would I compound for a month on the tread

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mill! But come-let us be off somewhere to kill time; for, upon my soul! my morning meditations are far from being agreeable."

Away we went, visited a sight or two, returned at one o'clock-and, a stout determination of dying like a man, as my ancestors had done before me, I awaited the dwarf's arrival.

Punctually as two o'clock sounded from the belfry of St. Martin's, the little gentleman's equipage rumbled down the street, and stopped at the door of our dwelling-place. Had I been "i' the vein " for laughter, how extensively could I have indulged the humour; for never did mortal eye rest upon such a comical turn-out, a city sheriff's not excepted.

The carriage was the same chariot in which the little gentleman had visited the Border, and was therefore familiar to us. It was drawn by a couple of jobbed horses, the near one a pie-balled cob-the outside a long-tailed black, which erstwhile had borne the weight of some Antony of the Life Guards, but, from increasing years and general infirmities, had exchanged the pride, pomp, and circumstance of war for what Cockneys call the "performance of funerals." These remarkable animals were driven by a man in a seedy box-coat and shocking bad hat,—a sort of ultimus Romanorum of that extinct race called "jarvies," who flourished some thirty years ago. By the side of this antiquated phaeton Cæsar was seated in all his glory; and, as if his ebony countenance were not sufficiently marked, it had pleased his amiable master to render it more striking still to admiring passengers, by the contrast of a white hat, while a dahlia of snowy hue was stuck in the "nigger's" breast, which, from its magnitude, might pass at a short distance for a cauliflower. Nor had the dwarf omitted to decorate his own person for his intended visit to the bride elect. His toilet had been unusually elaborate. He sported brimstone-coloured gloves, and, like his sable valet, exhibited a bouquet in his button-hole large enough to have furnished a bow-pot. With Cæsar's assistance, the little gentleman liberated his person from the leathern conveniency, and next minute the light of his countenance beamed upon us in the drawing-room.

After receiving our morning compliments with gracious dignity, he intimated his intention of honouring us with his company at dinner, and directed his equipage to return at an early hour in the evening. I was sincerely gratified when his turn-out received orders to be off; for the boys had collected round it by the dozen, and there was not a window within eye-range that wanted an admiring spectator.

"In love affairs, as well as business ones, men are expected to be punctual, and here I am to the minute. I trust that my exterior will find favour in the lady's sight; for, in order to be eminently presentable, I have sacrificed to the graces most liberally."

And the saffron-faced rascal placed himself before the pier-glass, arranged afresh the bouquet in his button-hole, and emended the tie of his cravat. Brian walked over to the window, he being of the laughterloving order, who cannot look on the ridiculous unmoved; while I, heaven pity me! felt like a criminal in the presence of a hard-featured judge, when the foreman of the jury responds to the interrogatory of the official a "Guilty, my Lord!"

"I sincerely regret, my dear sir, that your elaborate operations at the toilet have been unnecessarily thrown away-it is lost labour-for the fair lady is invisible."

"Pooh! pooh !" exclaimed the dwarf; "she must overcome this femi

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