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This present grief had wip'd it from
mind. Go in with me; and counsel every man The aptest way for safety, and revenge: Get posts, and letters, and make friends with speed; Never so few, and never yet more need. [Exeunt.
London. A Street,
my water :
Enter Sir John FALSTAFF, with his Page bearing
his Sword and Buckler. Fal. Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to
? Page. He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy water: but, for the party that owed it, he might have more diseases than he knew for.
Fal. Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: The brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to vent any thing that tends to laughter, more than I invent, or is invented on me: I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a sow, that hath overwhelmed all her litter but
If the prince put thee into my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then I have no judgment. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap, than to wait at my heels. I was never manned with an agate till now; but I
to gird at me :) i. e. to gibe.
mandrake,] Mandrake is a root supposed to have the shape of a man; it is now counterfeited with the root of briony.
9 I was never manned with an agate till now:] That is, I never before had an agate for my man. Alluding to the little figures cut in agates, and other hard stones, for seals; and therefore he says, I will set you neither in gold nor silver.
will set you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master, for a jewel; the juvenal, the prince your master, whose chin is not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand, than he shall get one on his cheek; and yet he will not stick to say, his face is a face-royal : God may finish it when he will, it is not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it still as a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he is almost out of mine, I can assure him.-What said master Dumbleton about the satin for my short cloak, and slops ?
Page. He said, sir, you should procure him better assurance than Bardolph: he would not take his bond and yours; he liked not the security.
Fal. Let him be damned like the glutton! may his tongue be hotter !--A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally yea-forsooth knave ! to bear a gentleman in hand,' and then stand upon security!—The whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of keys at their girdles ; and if a man is thorough with them in honest taking up, then they must stand upon-security. I had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth, as offer to stop it with security. I looked he should have sent me two and twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me security. Well, he may sleep in security ; for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines
to bear in hand,] is, to keep in expectation.
if a man is thorough with them in honest taking up,] That is, if a man by taking up goods is in their debt. To bé thorough seems to be the same with the present phrase, “to be in with a tradesman.
through it: and yet cannot he see, though he have his own lantern to light him.-Where's Bar dolph?
Page. He's gone into Smithfield, to buy your worship a horse.
Fal. I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in Smithfield : an I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived. Enter the Lord Chief Justice, and an Attendant,
Page. Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the prince for striking him about Bardolph.
Fal. Wait close, I will not see him. · Ch. Just. What’s he that goes there? Atten. Falstaff, an't please your lordship. Ch. Just. He that was in question for the robbery?
Atten. He, my lord: but he hath since done good service at Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is now going with some charge to the lord John of Lancaster.
Ch. Just. What, to York ? Call him back again.
Ch. Just. I am sure, he is, to the hearing of any thing good.-Go, pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him.
Atten. Sir John,
Fal. What! a young knave, and beg! Is there not wars? is there not employment? Doth not the king lack subjects ? do not the rebels need soldiers ? Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side,
3 I bought him in Paul's,] At that time the resort of idle people, cheats, and knights of the post.
Lord Chief Justice,] This judge was Sir Wm. Gascoigne, Chief Justice of the King's Bench.
were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.
Atten. You mistake me, sir.
Fal. Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man? setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied in my throat if I had said so.
Atten. I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and your soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you, you lie in your throat, if you say I am any other than an honest man.
Fal. I give thee leave to tell me so ! I lay aside that which grows to me! If thou get'st any leave of me, hang me; if thou takest leave thou wert better be hanged: You hunt-counter, hence ! avaunt!
Atten. Sir, my lord would speak with you.
Fal. My good lord !—God give your lordship good time of day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad: I heard say, your lordship was sick : I hope, your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet some smack of age in you, some relish of the saltness of time, and I most humbly beseech ship, to have a reverend care of your health.
Ch. Just. Sir John, I sent for you before your expedition to Shrewsbury.
Fal. An't please your lordship, I hear, his majesty is returned with some discomfort from Wales.
Ch. Just. I talk not of his majesty :-You would not come when I sent for you.
Fal. And I hear moreover, his highness is fallen into this same whoreson apoplexy.
Ch. Just. Well, heaven mend him! I pray, let me speak with you.
hunt-counter,] Hunt-counter means, base tyke, or worth
Fal. This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy, an't please your lordship; a kind of sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling.
Ch. Just. What tell you me of it? be it as it is.
Fal. It hath its original from much grief; from study, and perturbation of the brain : I have read the cause of his effects in Galen; it is a kind of deafness.
Ch. Just. I think, you are fallen into the disease; for you hear not what I say to you.
Fal. Very well, my lord, very well: rather, an't please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal.
Ch. Just. To punish you by the heels, would amend the attention of your ears ; and I care not, if I do become your physician.
Fal. I am as poor as Job, my lord ; but not so patient: your lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me, in respect of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or, indeed, a scruple itself.
Ch. Just. I sent for you, when there were matters . against you for your life, to come speak with me.
Fal. As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the laws of this land-service, I did not come.
Ch. Just. Well, the truth is, sir John, you live in great infamy.
Fal. He that buckles him in my belt, cannot live. in less.
Ch. Just. Your means are very slender, and your waste is great.
Fal. I would it were otherwise; I would my means were greater, and my waist slenderer.
Ch. Just. You have missed the youthful prince.
Fal. The young prince hath misled me: I am the fellow with the great belly, and he my dog.