Speed. What, are they broken? Laun. No, they are both as whole as a fish. Speed. Why then, how stands the matter with them? Laun. Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, || it stands well with her. Speed. What an ass art thou? I understand thee not. Laun. What a block art thou, that thou can'st not? My staff understands me. Speed. What thou say'st? I cannot now prove constant to myself, Laun. Ay, and what I do, too; look thee, I'll but But Valentine being gone, I'll quickly cross, lean, and my staff understands me. Speed. It stands under thee, indeed. Laun. Why, stand under and understand is all one. Speed. But tell me true, will't be a match? Laun. Ask my dog: if he say, ay, it will; if he say, no, it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will. Speed. The conclusion is then, that it will. Laun. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but by a parable. Speed. "Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say'st thou, that my master is become a notable lover?34) Laun. I never knew him otherwise. Speed. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. Laun. Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt go with me to the alehouse, so; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian. Speed. Why? Laun. Because thou hast not so much charity in thee, as to go to the ale 35) with a Christian: Wilt thou go? Speed. At thy service. The same. SCENE VI. 36) [Exeunt. An Apartment in the Palace. Pro. To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn; Love bade me swear, and love bids me forswear: But there I leave to love, where I should love. If I keep them, I needs must lose myself; If I lose them, thus find I by their loss, I to myself am dearer than a friend; For love is still more 38 precious in itself: And Silvia, witness heaven, that made her fair, I will forget that Julia is alive, Rememb'ring that my love to her is dead; Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend. By some sly trick, blunt Thurio's dull proceeding. Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift, As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift! [Erit. SCENE VII. Verona. A Room in Julia's House. Enter JULIA and LuceTTA. Jul. Counsel, Lucetta! gentle girl, assist me! Luc. Alas! the way is wearisome and long. Pity the dearth that I have pined in, Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason. He makes sweet musick with the enamel'd stones, He overtaketh in his pilgrimage; And so by many winding nooks he strays, Luc. But in what habit will you go along? Luc. Why, then, your ladyship must cut your hair. Jul. No, girl; I'll knit it up in silken strings, With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots; To be fantastic, may become a youth Luc. You must needs have them with a cod-piece, || And oftentimes have purpos'd to forbid madam. Jul. Out, out, Lucetta! 41) that will be ill-favoured. I fear me, it will make me scandaliz'd. Sir Valentine her company, and my court: Luc. If you think so, then stay at home, and go not. The key whereof myself have ever kept; Luc. Then never dream on infamy, but go. Luc. All these are servants to deceitful men. ACT III. [Exeunt. And thence she cannot be convey'd away. Pro. Know, noble lord, they have devis'd a mean Enter VALEntine. [Exit. Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify SCENE I. Milan. An Ante-room in the Duke's Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter: Palace. [Exit THURIO. Which else no worldly good should draw from me. Cannot your grace win her to fancy him? For scorn at first makes after-love the more. If she do frown, 'tis not in hate of you, If she do chide, 'tis not to have you gone; Val. Why then I would resort to her by night. Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, To cast up, with a pair of anchoring hooks, Would serve to scale another Hero's tower, So bold Leander would adventure it. Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, Advise me where I may have such a ladder. Val. When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me that. Duke. This very night; for love is like a child, That longs for every thing that he can come by. Val. By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder. Duke. But, hark thee; I will go to her alone; How shall I best convey the ladder thither? Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Under a cloak, that is of any length. Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn? Val. Ay, my good lord. Duke. Then let me see thy cloak: I'll get me one of such another length. Val. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. Duke. How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak?I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me. — What letter is this same? What's here? — To Silvia? And here an engine fit for my proceeding! I'll be so bold to break the seal for once. [Reads. My thoughts do harbour with my Silvia nightly? And slaves they are to me, that send them flying: O, could their master come and go as lightly, Himself would lodge, where senseless they are lying. My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them; *} While I, their king, that thither them importune, Do curse the grace that with such grace hath bless'd them, Because myself do want my servants' fortune: Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee: Thank me for this, more than for all the favours, Longer than swiftest expedition Will give thee time to leave our royal court, I ever bore my daughter, or thyself. Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCH. Pro. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out. Pro. What see'st thou? Laun. Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head, but 'tis a Valentine. Pro. Valentine? Val. No. Pro. Who then? his spirit? Val. Neither. Pro. What then? Val. Nothing. Laun. Can nothing speak? master, shall I strike? Pro. Villain, forbear. Laun. Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you, Val. No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia! Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me!What is your news? Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are vanish'd. Pro. That thou art banished, O, that's the news; From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend. Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Doth Silvia know that I am banished? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, But neither bended knees, pure hands held up, Val. No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st, Have some malignant power upon my life: Pro. Cease to lament for that thou can'st not help, Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north-gate. Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia, hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. 13) He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but what woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid; yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: 14) yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's inaid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel, which is much in a bare christian. 15) Here is the cat-log [pulling out a paper] of her conditions. 16) Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter SPEED. Speed. How now, signior Launce, what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word; What news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Laun. Fye on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb, of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Blessing Laun. That's as much as to say, can she so? Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a Laun. A special virtue: for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then I may set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, 20) that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is crust. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. She will often praise her liquor. 21) Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. 22) Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, 23) — Laun. More hair than wit, it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair, that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs, Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Speed. And more wealth than faults. Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: 24) Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Laun. Why, then will I tell thee, ster stays for thee at the north gate. Speed. For ine? that thy ma Laun. For thee? ay: who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your love-letters! [Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! - I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exit. SCENE II. The same. A Room in the Duke's Palace. Enter DUKE and THURIO; PROTEUS behind. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight. Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most, Forsworn my company, and rail'd at me, That I am desperate of obtaining her. Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Trenched in ice; 25) which with an hour's heat Dissolves to water, and doth lose his form. A little time will melt her frozen thoughts, And worthless Valentine shall be forgot. How now, sir Proteus? Is your countryman, According to our proclamation, gone? Pro. Gone, my good lord. Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so. Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee, (For thou hast shown some sign of good desert,) Makes me the better to confer with thee. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Let me not live to look upon your grace. Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect The match between sir Thurio and my daughter. Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will. Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so. What might we do, to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love sir Thurio? Pro. The best way is, to slander Valentine With falshood, cowardice, and poor descent; Three things that women highly hold in hate. Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate. Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must, with circumstance, 26) be spoken By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend. Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do: "Tis an ill office for a gentleman; Especially, against his very friend. 27) Duke Where your good word cannot advantage him, Your slander never can endamage him; Therefore the office is indifferent, Being entreated to it by your friend. Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, But say, this weed her love for Valentine, It follows not that she will love sir Thurio. By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews; Visit by night your lady's chamber-window, Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love. To sort 3) some gentlemen will skill'd in musick: Pro. We'll wait upon your grace, till after supper; ACT IV. SCENE I. A Forest near Mantua. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger. 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you; If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you. 1 Out. That's not so, sir; we are your enemies. 2 Out. Peace; we'll hear him. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; For he's a proper man. 1) Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose; A man I am, cross'd with adversity: My riches are these poor habiliments, Of which if you should here disfurnish me, Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love 28) from him, You take the sum and substance that I have. Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, You must provide to bottom it on me: Which must be done, by praising me as much Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind; And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you; 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might have staid, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse: I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; But yet I slew him manfully in fight, 1 Out. Why ne'er repent it, if it were done so: But were you banish'd for so small a fault? |