The following story, ridiculous as it is, is a fact. A farmer at New Shoreham, near Brighthelmstone, having voted at an election for a member of parliament contrary to the pleasure of three neighbouring justices, they took revenge on his dog, which they caused to be hanged, for starting a hare upon the high road. FARMER SHORT'S DOG, PORTER, A TALE. THREE justices (so says my tale) Or by the help of sturdy ale, So cleverly could tell a tale, That half the gaping standers by Would laugh aloud; the rest would cry. Or by the help of nobler wine, Would knotty points so nice define, That in an instant right was wrong, Yet did not hold that station long, The question vanisht out of sight. Each knew by instinct when and where Could tell if any man had got One hundred pounds per ann. or not; For when the hundred wanted one, Knew by the leering of an eye These learned brothers being assembled (At which the country fear'd and trembled), A warrant sent to bring before 'em, One Farmer Short, who dwelt at Shoreham, Upon a great and heavy charge, Which we shall here relate at large, That those who were not there may read, In after days the mighty deed: Viz. "That he," the 'foresaid "Farmer Short, "Being by the devil moved, had not "One hundred pounds per annum got; "That having not (in form likewise) "The fear of God before his eyes, "By force and arms did keep and cherish, "A dog. And there the dog abided. "Which treason was, or some such thing, Against our SOVEREIGN LORD THE KING." The constable was bid to jog, And bring the farmer-not the dog. But fortune, whose perpetual wheel So nicely brought the matter round, But after pondering, pro and con, Within the meaning of the act, And since the master had withdrawn, Such crimes as they by proof could show The constable again was sent, To bring the dog; or dread the event. POOR PORTER, right before the door, The man, by virtue of his staff, Bid people help; not stand and laugh; On which a mighty rout began; Some blamed the dog, and some the man. Some said he had no business there, Some said he had business every where. At length the constable prevail'd, And those who would not help were jail'd; And taking PORTER by the collar, Commanded all the guards to follow. The justices received the felon, At length a curious quibble rose, ; For it was proved, and rightly too, But only follow'd by the scent; And she, the hare, by running hard, Thro hedge and ditch, without regard, Plunged in a pond, and there was drown'd, And by a neighboring justice found; Wherefore, though he the hare annoy'd, It can't be said that he destroy'd; It even can't be proved he beat her, And "to destroy," must mean, "to eat her.” Did you e'er see a gamester struck, With all the symptoms of ill luck? Or mark the visage which appears, When even HOPE herself despairs? So look'd the bench, and every brother, Sad pictures drew of one another; Till one more learned than the rest, Rose up, and thus the court addressed. "Why, gentlemen, I'll tell ye how, "Ye may clear up this matter now, "For I am of opinion strong "The dog deserves, and should be hung. " I'll prove it by as plain a case, "As is the nose upon your face. "Now if, suppose, a man, or sơ, "Should be obliged, or not to go, |