Of this description is the direful prognostic which portends the calamity under the head of which these observations are written. On a dismal night of the last week of the wintry month of October, and on a dreary blasted heath, were the two Chief Ministers of the Britith Empire overthrown.-O! where are thy lachrymals, Britannia?-but pails will do!then weep them full-empty them, and fill them again with thy tears, while it is told unto thee, that thy Lord Chancellor, and thy Chancellor of the Exchequer and First Lord of the Treasury (two great offices in one little person), were, upon Hounslow Heath, on their return from Regal Windsor, tumbled from their carriage, and thrown into the mud !-O! where were thy guardian angels when this shocking catastrophe took place?—They must surely have been busy on some other spot, and looking after the safety of some other persons; else never could they have suf fered thy chiefest ornaments and most mighty directors to be so unceremoniously filthified and bedraggled!

But what was the accident in itself to the fearful forebodings with which, as an onen, it must fill every breast! The coachman's reins falling from his trembling hands the wheels of the vehicle stoppinghow like the wheels of an Administration standing still! The springs breaking-how like the failure of the Cumberland springs on which the state machine is hung! The pole snapping-how like the (Wellesley) Pole giving way! The whole overturning how like a complete smash and Downfall of Ministers !-Nō wonder that the shock struck their appalled senses. with dismay and terror; and that they should, like Balteshazzar of old, apply to every probable source to have the sign explained, and their fears either confirmed or dispelled. In this dilemma, there being now no Daniels, or Soothsayers, or Magicians; and, indeed,

indeed, very few Wisemen or Conjurors, to whom they could have recourse; they were fain to consult with the Cunning Men, and therefore immediately called a Cabinet Council. But hence, after much witchcraft, sorcery, and incantation, they were obliged to depart as ignorant as when they entered the mystic chamber; for they found that the more they stirred in the mysterious caldron, they were, the more in

"เ

Double, double, toil and trouble!

Compelled, therefore, to wait the natural issue and result of the affairs foretold by the Hounslow Heath prodigy, with spirits sunk and countenances woe-begone, they abide the same in fearful expectation. Well do they know that no magic arts can now avail them; well do they know that they can raise no spell so deep, nor utter any invocation so potent, (no, not even the cry of "No Popery!") as to turn the course of events; for it is now evident, that the Destinies have fixed the end; and what the Destinies declare, no human power, however great, may possibly avert.

Leaving then the will of Heaven to be done, as we do with resignation, we briefly proceed to notice some of the terrestrial circumstances flowing from that overthrow.

No sooner did the forlorn Premier, and the Head of the Law, find themselves safely snd sofily lodged in the mud, than they exchanged mutual congratulations, on having so well escaped from their elevated situation; and the former, being tinctured with religious sentiments, expressed a wish (for which the Archbishop of Canterbury is not much indebted to him!) that the Head of the Church had been with them, in order to have returned thanks to Providence for their great preservation: yet his Grace will not participate in that wish, and no doubt rejoices in the thought that the elevation of the pulpit is not liable

to

1

to such topsy-turvy reverses as those experienced on legal and political eminences, where men, however high their carriage may be, are in danger every hour of being overset. The Archbishop not being at hand to offer up thanksgivings, our travellers prayed as well as they could for themselves; and, after clearing each other from the filth that adhered to their clothes and persons, they left the chariot in charge of the ser vants, and journeyed on very lovingly together on foot, with the design of procuring a chaise at the next inn. But it was decreed that their misfortunes should not terminate so easily; and they were doomed to experience other strange adventures before they reached their journey's end.They had not proceeded far on their way, till they were passed on the Heath by a stage-coach. In this vehicle they instantly resolved to secure a seat as far as Hounslow, and accordingly pursued it with all the speed they were masters of, bellowing the while, "Stop, coach! Stop, coach!" But Jarvis, having caught a glimpse of them as he drove along, was in no hurry to stop at their call but the more they roared and ran, the more furiously did he drive for, seeing the one a stout, athleticlooking man, hobbling as if he had long and oftenbeen accustomed to wear the darbies (vide Slang Lexicon for double irons), and the little one, as he supposed, from the darkness of his complexion, with a mask or crape over his face, poor Coachee had not the slightest doubt but that they were a brace of footpads. To escape them was his most earnest desire; and truly ludicrous was it to see the anxiety and terror of his countenance while he belaboured the Awretched steeds with his whip, broke the footboard by the violence of his stamping, and awoke dull echo by the loudness of his histing, jee-whoing, and jee-uping. But vain his exertions-the pursuing Ministers gained fast upon his jaded cattle, and had just got cheek by

jowl

jowl with the stage-coach, when an inside passenger discharged a horse-pistol at their heads. Now, whether it was that fear palsied his hand and destroyed the correctness of his aim, or whether it was that the bullet was repelled by the harder head of the stout man, and glanced ineffectually off into the air; certain it is, that our terrified Ministers sustained no damage on the occasion. The unexpected salutation, however, arrested their course, and they stood statuelike, struck with astonishment and dismay. Under these circumstances, the coach would soon have been beyond their hopes, had not the horses, startled by the report of the pistol, plunged and fallen. Now it was that a scene of horror ensued, that to describe would have done honour to the pen of a Smollett. Screams, shrieks, and groans, formed a horrible concert-passengers inside and out praying for mercy from the fancied robbers, who themselves were almost as much frightened as the most timid of them. Never was there a more delectable treat for a humourist 1At length, however, matters were explained by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who, as spokesman, informed the natives who he and his companion were, and assured them, that, though they were evidently Blacklegs, upon his word of honour they were not thieves; and that, though Clerk of the Irons, he knew nothing at all about the darbies. These assertions the people doubted; but, not knowing how to get rid of their unwelcome visitors, they consented to their accompanying them to the inn, putting their trust in Providence, that when they came there their deeds would be brought to light, and they would be released from their intolerable presence and su periority.

+

EPIGRAM.

(66)

EPIGRAM. ".

} [From the Morning Chronicle, Nov. 6.]

WHAT better reason can you guess,

Why men are poor and ladies thinner

But thousands now for dinner dress,
Till nothing's left to dress for dinner?

MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS.

GEORGE COOKE, THE ACTOR, AND THE YELLOW FEVER.

DRAMATIC CONFESSION, UPON THE SHORES OF THE
ATLANTIC, AT NEW YORK.

[From the Morning Herald, Nov. 71

"Here am I in Arden, the more fool I;
When I was at home I was in a much better place."

WE

VE were pondering upon the eccentric movements of this extraordinary Comedian, until we fell into a profound sleep, and imagined that we saw him sitting upon the edge of Long Island, near Tyler's Bathing-house, with his head resting upon his hand, and looking anxiously, with tears in his eyes, toward the E. N.E. like Caius Marius in a state of banishment!-Ever and anon he started, and sang his grief in the following fraginents and parodies; while the north-west wind (which is not among the gentlest of the Eolian family) beat against his tattered skull, and dishevelled the economy of his wig most rudely.

PANG THE FIRST.

"CARE flies from the lad that is merry,
Whose heart is as sound,

And whose cheeks are as round,
Ay, as round and as red as a cherry."

Yet