affared me that he had never in his life feen finer bodies of men, better-fized, nor more warlike coun

tenances.

The ingenious contrivance of this wife and warlike potentate ftruck me immediately, as a hint that might be greatly improved to the public advantage, and without any one inconvenience, at leaft that of curred to me. I have turned it every way in my thoughts with the utmost care, and fhall now prefent it to my readers, willing however to receive any further lights and affistance from those who are more skilled in military matters than I am.

I ask but two poftulata, which I think cannot be denied me; and then my propofal demonstrates its own utility..

First, That for thefe daft five and twenty years, our land forces have been of no ufe whatsoever, nor even employed, notwithstanding the almost uninterrupted difturbances that have been in Europe, in which our interefts have been as nearly concerned as ever they are likely to be for thefe five and twenty years to come.

Secondly, That our prefent army is a very great expence to the nation, and has raised jealoufies and difcontents in the minds of many of his majesty's fubjects.

I therefore humbly propofe, that, from and after the 25th day of March next, 1736, the prefent numerous and expenfive army be totally difbanded, the commiffion officers excepted; and that proper perfons be authorized to contract with Mrs. Salmon, for raifing the fame number of men in the best of wax.

first compliments usual upon fuch occasions, spoke very gravely to him thus :

"I do not wonder, that you, who are well in"formed of the narrownefs both of my territories "and my fortune, should be astonished at the num, "ber of my ftanding forces; but I must acquaint

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you, that the present critical fituation of my af"fairs would not allow me to remain defenceless,. "while all my neighbours were arining around me.. "There is not a prince near me, that has not made: "an augmentation in his forces, fome of four, fome "of eight, and fome even of twelve men; fo that you must be fenfible that it would have been con"fiftent neither with my honor nor fafety, not to "have increased mine. I have therefore augmented "my army up to forty effective men, from but "eight and twenty that they were before; but, in "order not to overburden my fubjects with taxes, "not opprefs them by the quartering and infolence"of my troops, as well as to remove the least suf-picion of my defigning any thing against their li"berties to tell you the plain truth, my men are "of wax, and exercife by clock-work. You easily perceive," added he fmiling," that, if I were in

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any real danger, my forty men of wax are just as good a fecurity to me, as if they were of the very "best flesh and blood in Chriftendom: as for dig"nity and fhow, they anfwer thofe purposes full as "well; and in the mean time they coft me fo little,. "that our dinner will be much the better for it."

My friend respectfully fignified to him his fincere approbation of his wife and prudent measures, and

affured

affured me that he had never in his life feen finer bodies of men, better-fized, nor more warlike countenances.

The ingenious contrivance of this wife and warlike potentate ftruck me immediately, as a hint that might be greatly improved to the public advantage, and without any one inconvenience, at least that oc curred to me. I have turned it every way in my thoughts with the utmost care, and shall now present it to my readers, willing however to receive any further lights and affistance from those who are more fkilled in military matters than I am.

I ask but two poftulata, which I think cannot be denied me; and then my propofal demonftrates its own utility..

First, That for these last five and twenty years, our land forces have been of no ufe whatfoever, nor even employed, notwithstanding the almoft uninterrupted difturbances that have been in Europe, in which our interefts have been as nearly concerned as ever they are likely to be for thefe five and twenty years to come.

Secondly, That our prefent army is a very great expence to the nation, and has raised jealoufies and discontents in the minds of many of his majesty's fubjects.

I therefore humbly propofe, that, from and after the 25th day of March next, 1736, the prefent numerous and expenfive army be totally difbanded, the commiffion officers excepted; and that proper perfons be authorized to contract with Mrs. Salmon, for raising the same number of men in the best of wax.

r

That the faid perfons be likewife authorized to treat with that ingenious mechanic, Myn Heer Von Pinchbeck, for the clock-work neceffary for the faid number of land-forces.

It appears from my firft poftulatum, that this future army will be, to all intents and purposes, as ufeful as ever our prefent one has been; and how much more beneficial it will be is what I now beg leave to fhew.

The curious are often at great trouble and expence to make imitations of things, which things are to be had eafier, cheaper, and in greater perfection themselves. Thus infinite pains have been taken of late, but alas in vain, to bring up our prefent army to the nicety and perfection of a waxen one it has proved impoffible to get fuch numbers of men, all of the fame height, the fame make, with their own hair, timing exactly together the feveral motions of their exercise, and, above all, with a certain military fiercenefs, that is not natural to British countenances: even fome very confiderable officers have been cafhiered, for wanting SOME OF THE PRO

PERTIES OF WAX.

By my fcheme, all these inconveniencies will be entirely removed; the men will be all of the fame size, and, if thought neceffary, of the fame features and complexion the requifite degree of fierceness may be given them, by the proper application of whiskers, fcars, and fuch like indications of courage, according to the tastes of their refpective officers; and their exercife will, by the fkill and care of Myn Heer Von Pinchbeck, be in the highest German

tafte,

tafte, and may poffibly arrive at the one motion, that great defideratum in our difcipline. The whole, thus ordered, must certainly furnish a more delightful spectacle than any hitherto exhibited, to fuch as are curious of reviews and military exercitations.

I am here aware that the grave Mrs. Ofborne will feriously object, that this army, not being alive, cannot be useful; and that the more lively and ingenious Mr. Walfingham may poffibly infinuate, that a waxen army is not likely to ftand fire well.

To the lady, I answer thus beforehand, that if, in the late times of war, our prefent army has been of no more ufe than a waxen one, a waxen one will now, in time of peace, be as ufeful as they; and as to any other reafons, that fhe or her whole fex may kave, for preferring a live ftanding army to this, they are confiderations of a private nature, and must not weigh against fo general and public a good.

To the pleafant 'fquire I reply, that this army will ftand its own fire very well; which is all that feems requifite.

But give me leave to fay too, that an army thus. conftituted will be very far from being without its terror, and will doubtlefs ftrike all the fear that is confiftent with the liberties of a free people; wax, it is well known, being the most natural and ex

* The Free Briton, by Francis Walfingham efq; (published under the direction of fir Robert Walpole), was written, by William Arnall, who was bred an attorney, but commenced party-writer when under twenty. See the notes on the Dunciad, Book II; where Arnall is faid to have received, for Free Britons and other writings, in four years, the fum of 109977. 65. 84. out of the treasury.

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proffive