For But though the Enemy had, by his Subtilty, 1659. gain'd fuch Advantages over me; yet I went on notwithstanding, and firmly perfifted in my Godly Refolution, of ceafing from, and denying those things, which I was now Convinced in my Conscience were Evil- And on this Account a great Trial came quickly on me. the General Quarter-Seffions for the Peace coming on, my Father (willing to excuse himself from a dirty Journey) commanded me to get up betimes, and go to Oxford, and deliver in the Recognizances he had taken; and bring him an Account what Juftices were on the Bench, and what principal Pleas were before 'em; which he knew I knew how to do, having often attended him on those Services. I (who knew how it ftood with me better than he did) felt a Weight come over me, as foon as he had spoke the Word. For I prefently faw, it would bring a very great Exercise upon me. But having never refifted his Will, in any thing that was lawful, (as this was) I attempted not to make any Excufe; but, ordering an Horse to be ready for me early in the Morning, I went to Bed, having great Struglings in my Breaft. For the Enemy came in upon me, like a Flood, and fet many Difficulties before me, fwelling them up to the highest Pitch, by reprefenting them as Mountains, which I fhould never be able to get over; And, alas! that Faith which could remove fuch Mountains, and cast them 1659. them into the Sea, was but very small, and weak in me. He caft into my Mind, not only how I fhould behave my self in Court, and dispatch the Bufiness I was fent about; but how I fhould demean my self towards my Acquaintance (of which I had many in that City) with whom I was wont to be Jolly: whereas now I could not put off my Hat, nor Bow, to any of them, nor give them their honorary Titles (as they are called) nor use the corrupt Language of You to any one of them; but must keep to the plain and true Language of Thou and Thee. Much of this Nature revolved in my Mind, thrown in by the Enemy to difcourage, and cast me down. And I had none to have recourse to, for Counsel or Help, but the Lord alone. To whom therefore I poured forth my Supplications, with earnest Cries and Breathings of Soul, that HE, in whom all Power was, would enable me to go through this great Exercise, and keep me faithful to Himself therein. And after fome time, he was pleased to compose my Mind to Stilnefs, and I went to rest. Early next Morning, I got up, and found my Spirit pretty calm and quiet; yet not without a Fear upon me, left I fhould flip, and let fall the Testimony, which I had to bear. And as I rode, a frequent Cry ran through me to the Lord, on this wife; O my God, Preferve me faithful, whatever befals me! Suffer me not to be drawn drawn into Evil, how much Scorn and Contempt 1659. foever may be cast upon me! Thus was my Spirit exercifed on the way almoft continually. And when I was come within a Mile or two of the City, whom should I meet upon the Way, coming from thence, but Edward Burrough! I rode in a Mountier-Cap (a Dress more used then, than now) and fo did he: and because the Weather was exceeding fharp, we both had drawn our Caps down, to fhelter our Faces from the Cold; and by that means neither of us knew the other, but paffed by without taking Notice one of the other, till a few Days after meeting again, and obferving each others Drefs, we recollected where we had fo lately met. Then thought I with my felf, O! How glad should I have been of a Word of Encouragement and Counsel from him, when I was under that weighty Exercife of Mind! But the Lord faw it was not good for me: that my Reliance might be wholly upon him; and not on Man. When I had fet up my Horfe, I went directly to the Hall, where the Seffions were held ; where I had been but a very little while, before a Knot of my old Acquaintances efpying me, came to me. One of these was a Scholar in his Gown; another a Surgeon of that City (both my School Fellows, and Fellow-Boarders at Thame-School:) and the Third a Country Gentleman, with whom I had long been very Familiar. When they were come up to me, they all faluted me, after the ufual manner, putting off به 1659. their Hats and Bowing; and faying, Tour Humble Servant, Sir: expecting, no doubt, the like from me. But when they faw me stand still, not moving my Cap, nor bowing my Knee in way of Congee to them; they were amazed, and looked first one upon another, then upon me, and then one upon another again, for a while, without a Word fpeaking. At length the Surgeon, (a brisk young Man) who stood nearest to me, clapping his Hand, in a familiar way, upon my Shoulder, and fmiling on me, faid, What! Tom, a a Quaker! To which I readily, and cheerfully Answered, Tes: A Quaker. And as the Words paffed out of my Mouth, I felt Joy fpring in my Heart: for I rejoyced, that I had not been drawn out by them, into a Compliance with them; and that I had Strength and Boldness given me, to Confefs my self to be one of that defpised People. They ftaid not long with me, nor faid any more (that I remember) to me: but looking fomewhat confusedly one upon another, after a while took their Leave of me; going off in the fame ceremonious Manner, as they came on. After they were gone, I walked a while about the Hall, and went up nearer to the Court; to observe both what Juftices were on the Bench, and what Business they had before them. And I went in Fear (not of what they could, or would have done to me, if they should have taken notice of me, but) left I fhould be furprized, and drawn unwarily into that, which I was to keep out of. It It was not long before the Court adjourned, 1659. to go to Dinner: And that time I took to go to the Clerk of the Peace, at his House, whom I was well acquainted with. So foon as I came into the Room where he was, he came and met me; and faluted me after his manner: for he had a great Refpect for my Father, and a kind Regard for me. And tho' he was at first somewhat startled at my Carriage and Language: yet he treated me very civilly, without any Reflection, or fhew of Lightness. I delivered him the Recognizances, which my Father had fent; and having done the Business I came upon, withdrew and went to my Inn, to refresh my self, and then to return home. But when I was ready to take Horse, looking out into the Street, I faw two or three Juftices, standing juft in the Way where I was to ride. This brought a fresh Concern upon me. I knew, if they faw me, they would know me: And I concluded, if they knew me, they would ftop me to enquire after my Father; and I doubted how I fhould come off with them. This Doubting brought Weakness on me; and that Weakness led to Contrivance, how I might avoid this Trial. I knew the City pretty well; and remembred there was a back Way, which, though fomewhat about, would bring me out of Town, without paffing by thofe Juftices: Yet loth I was to go that Way. Wherefore I ftaid a pretty time, in hopes they would have parted Company, or removed to fome other Place, out of my Way. But when E I had |