His honest breast knew not to feign, XIII. Blush, Wealth and Power! if blush ye can, Should cloud the brow, and force the sigh, Of Him whose Spirit now, on high, Pleads meekly for our sinful race, And still retains that sympathy Your heartlessness could ne'er efface. XIV. Ah! ye, who love the simple verse, The peaceful lives of artless swains, JOHN HEYWOOD. JOHN HEYWOOD, commonly called "The Epigrammatist," was beloved and rewarded by Henry the Eighth for his buffooneries. On leaving the University, he commenced author, and was countenanced by Sir Thomas More, for his facetious disposition. To his talents of jocularity in conversation, he joined a skill in music, both vocal and instrumental. His merriments were so irresistible, that they moved even the rigid muscles of Queen Mary; and her sullen solemnity was not proof against his songs, his rhymes, and his jests. One of these is preserved in the Cotton MS. Jul. F. x. "When Queene Mary tolde Heywoode that the priestes must forego their wives, he merrily answered, 'Then your Grace must allow them lemmans (mistresses), for the clergie cannot live without sauce.' Another is recorded by Puttenham, in his "Arte of English Poesie, 1589."-" At the Duke of Northumberland's bourd, merry John Heywood was allowed to sit at the table's end, The Duke had a very noble and honorable mynde always to pay his debts well, and when he lacked money, would not stick to sell the greatest part of his plate; so had he done a few dayes before. Heywood being loth to call for his drinke so oft as he was dry, turned his eye toward the cupbord, and sayd, 'I finde great misse of your Grace's standing cups.' The Duke, thinking he had spoken it of some knowledge that his plate was lately sold, said, somewhat sharply, Why, Sir, will not these cups serve as good a man as yourselfe?' Heywood readily replied, Yes, if it please your Grace ; but I would have one of them stand still at myne elbow full of drinke, that I might not be driven to trouble your men so often to call for it.' This pleasaunt and speedy turn of the former words, holpe all the matter againe; whereupon the Duke became very pleasaunt, and dranke a bolle of wine to Heywood, and bid a cuppe should always be standing by him.” One of Heywood's works is a Poem in long verse, with the following curious title: "A Dialogue, containing in Effect the Number of al the Proverbes in the English Tongue, compact in a Matter concerning Two Marriages.” All the proverbs of the English language are here interwoven into a very silly comic tale:-the idea is ingenious, and the repertory, though illexecuted, is at least curious. The following anecdote relating to this work, has been transmitted among some "witty aunsweres and saiengs of Englishmen," in the Cotton MS. before referred to. "William Pawlett, Marques of Wynchester and Highe Treasurer of Engelande, being presented by John Heywood with a booke, asked him what it conteyned? And when Heywoode told him All the Proverbes in English,'- What, all?' quoth my Lorde; No; Bate me an ace, quoth Bolton; is that in your booke? No, by my faith, my Lorde, I thinke not,' aunswered Heywoode." But the neatest replication of this professed court-wit, seems to be recorded in " Camden's Remains, 1605," p. 234. Heywood being asked by Queen Mary "What wind blew him to the Court?"-he answered, "Two specially; the one to see your Majesty." "We thank "We thank you for that," said the Queen; "but, I pray you, what is the other?"-" That your Grace," said he, might see me." 66 Most of his sallies, however, are contemptible enough; and the same may be said of his Epigrams," which are six hundred in number, and, perhaps, were often extemporaneous jests, made and repeated to the company. The miserable drolleries and pitiful quibbles with which they are pointed, indicate great want of refinement. From this heap of rubbish, it may be worth while to extract the following specimen, which is in Heywood's very best manner. 66 AN OLD WIFE'S BOON. In old world, when old wives bitterly prayed, One, devoutly, as by way of a boon, Ask'd vengeance on her husband; and to him said, 'Thou wouldst wed a young wife ere this week were done, (Were I dead,) but thou shalt wed the devil as soon.* " I cannot wed the devil,' quoth he-'Why?' quoth she, 'For I have wedded his dam before,' quoth he." The following lines, however, afford the most favourable instance of his versification. "ON MEASURE. Measure is a merry meane, Which filde with noppy drinke, Then merrily they winke. Measure is a merry meane, But I meane measures gret; Where lippes to litele pitchers leane, Those lippes they scantly wet. Measure is a merry meane, And measure is this mate; To be a deacon or a deane, Thou wouldst not change the state. |